A/N: For anyone who even remembers this chapter, I gutted it and removed 4000 words. It was ridiculous and cheesy. I'm almost happy with it now. Almost…

Chapter 20

While Crocodile

Edward's POV

Three weeks later and Bella had not relented, and what was fucking worse was she had gone back to looking right through me. I'd done everything I said I would to give her space. I left her alone in Bio, I got straight into the back of Alice's car every afternoon when she and Bella were chatting at the end of the day. I even changed my route through the halls so I wouldn't have to run into her.

It was fucking torture, but the more she ignored me, the more I craved her.

Around Alice and Rose, she seemed relaxed, smiling and laughing with them every lunch break; except when she caught my gaze from the other side of the room—she immediately frowned and looked away. She'd gone back to acting exactly like she had on her second day at school when she was looking down at me like I was a fucking douchebag. It was starting to piss me off more than I could comprehend, and at times I found myself scowling at her. Only Bella would scowl back, and openly roll her eyes. She wasn't fucking with me either; the look of discomfort on her face was genuine.

I tried hating her, but that was always doomed to fail. No matter how much she ignored me, or pissed me off, I remained as pathetically fucking wretchedly in love with her as I ever was.

Of course every night the little rat always insisted on talking to me—talking to me about Bella, completely fucking oblivious to the fact that every day Bella ignored me, it was torture. But then she told me something that made it that much harder to ever hate Bella—to stay pissed at her.

Alice had befriended Bella's friends from Australia on Facebook, and was beginning to get a clearer picture of Bella's past. After being sworn to secrecy, one of Bella's closest friends admitted to Alice that Bella had been emotionally and physically abused by her mother her entire life.

"What do you mean? What the fuck was done to her?" I demanded, becoming instantly on edge, as I sat upright on my bed. Though, it made complete sense why Bella didn't appear to trust anyone.

Alice shook her head. "She didn't really give me instances, just that Bella's life with her mother had been ... hell. Besides, she said Bella would kill her if she told me anything."

It was something I really didn't want to have to contemplate, because at the moment Bella was so pivotal in my whole fucking life I didn't think I could handle knowing this kind of shit. And I hated the fact that she was a whole other person prior to moving to Forks; a person I knew nothing about.

"There's another thing, Edward ..." Alice breached delicately, pulling me from my brooding thoughts.

"What?" I asked with a sense of dread, not sure I really wanted to know.

"Her friend, Kel, hasn't woken from the coma, and she's deteriorating. They're thinking she won't be able to hang on for much longer, and they haven't told Bella yet."

That's when I decided I had to go back to fighting for her. I went back to my old route through the halls, and every time I passed Bella, I'd throw her a warm smile. I wasn't a cocky bastard about it, and it had nothing to do with the advantage shit; I just smiled at her. At first she reacted strangely; confused, then irritated, then slowly—ever so slowly—I suspected she was starting to crack.

In Bio I started writing her notes again, she never replied to them, but it didn't stop me—every day, pissing off the teacher so much that his patience eventually snapped, until one day he grabbed my note pad and read it out to the class.

"Bella, please talk to me. I miss that weird ass accent of yours. Can't we be friends?"

Of course, the entire class erupted into fucking laughter, while beside me, Bella, going beet red and huffing shortly, turned to glare at me, with an expression that clearly said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

It embarrassed the fuck out of me, and as I sat burning up like I had fucking mono, Bella went back to ignoring me.

Then, five minutes before the end of class, she wrote a reply and slid it in front of me.

That was really corny, Edward.

Her expression was neutral, and she seemed to sigh to herself before she turned back to the front of the classroom.

I only smiled to myself, deciding not to push her more.

It was the first time I really started to believe I could break through her wall again.

...

"Do you know what Bella called Jazz today?" Alice asked me, three fucking seconds after coming in my room the following night to hang with me.

"What?" I asked wryly.

"A bogan."

"A what?" I repeated blankly, thinking I'd misheard and having the urge to laugh from sheer bewilderment.

"I don't know," Alice replied, shaking her head lightly in answer, her forehead etched with just as much confusion as amusement.

I only looked down at my computer, staring at the English essay I'd been trying to finish when Alice interrupted me, before grinning to myself.

"She called Newton the same thing though, so it can't be good…" Alice added, as I immediately went fucking tense.

"Is he still bothering her?" I asked, lowly. He'd stopped in Bio, but he wasn't stupid enough to call my bluff. I didn't fucking care if I killed myself, if he gave her shit in front of me, I'd rip his fucking head off.

"Pretty much, yeah. She tells him every day to leave her alone, but in his twisted mind he thinks she's flirting with him—and you know how she basically trusts no one. He's making her really uncomfortable..." Alice added, sounding irritated, not to mention tactful, as a frown etched her forehead.

Taking a stiff breath I looked back up at her, muttering, "I swear I'm going to fucking end that piece of shit."

Alice only snorted, rolling her eyes, before replying sarcastically, "Okay, let's pretend that would actually help your cause with her."

I released my breath with frustration, but conceded. "Okay, okay. Point taken."

Shaking her head lightly to herself and throwing me one of her eye rolls, she continued, "I'd have a word to Nessie about telling Mike to—

"Back the fuck off," I interjected, but I couldn't stop myself; with the knowledge that he was still hassling Bella, I was steadily fucking fuming.

Alice sighed—it was choked with impatience—immediately snapping my attention back to her. "Edward, do you realize how much you're cussing these days?"

I just shrugged one shoulder and half grinned. "Yes, Mom."

She ignored me. "Nessie is completely brainwashed when it comes to Mike. She believes all his crap and gets defensive when you bring it up. So…" She allowed her voice to trail off with emphasis, raising her eyebrows.

"So…?"

"So, I was thinking you'd ask Jake to have a word to creep Newton," she put it to me before subtly cringing away from me.

"Why would I do that?!" I exclaimed fucking indignantly. "I'll have a word to Mike"—my voice twisted as I uttered his name—"I am capable of some self-control."

She snorted. "Uh-huh. For thirty seconds maybe and then you'll attack him or whatever you primitive guys do. Bella already thinks you're out of control."

I faltered. "She—she does?"

She rolled her eyes, exasperated again. "Oh, suck it up, Edward. Besides, you know very well you wouldn't be able to control yourself when it comes to Newton."

"Okay," I snapped. "I'll speak to Jake." I shook off the irritation and ran my fingers through my hair rigidly, not fucking liking the idea. Apologizing was hard enough—besides, I was still pissed at the great fucking ape for blabbing to Bella the instant he could about our conversation a few weeks ago. But I was always going to relent—how could I not? It was for Bella; to keep that fucking weasel away from her before I really did break his neck.

"Good," Alice replied satisfied, before she leaned in and quickly kissed my cheek. "Anyway, I'm going to bed. See you later, alligator," she fucking mocked me, before getting up from my bed and smirking at me.

I only sighed, less than fucking impressed, before, following her to the door, I slammed it shut behind her.

Scoffing to myself, I put my hands on my hips and shook my head, wondering what else Bella had told her—wondering whether Bella was ever really going to come around to me again.

Then something happened that put a large crack in her wall.

. . .

My immediate impression of the following day was that it wasn't going to be anything out of the ordinary.

The bullshit stories about Bella were still surprisingly in full swing, but today there were different rumors circulating.

My strategy had been to ignore them. It was the only way to spare myself the no doubt regrettable pleasure of slamming Weasel's head into the cement wall of the halls if I crossed paths with him. But after the fifth slap over the back and the umpteenth, "way to go, Cullen", I ditched the confusion and began paying attention. I soon discovered that apparently Bella and I had been busted having sex behind the cafeteria, up against the wall in full view of half the school.

It had almost given me an instant boner, and if truth were told, I was curious to know what her reaction would be; whether she'd remain status quo with her indifference toward them.

After second period I crossed paths with her. She had her head tilted fractionally to one side, looking like she was stealthily listening to what was being whispered about her; her brow knotted as if she was thinking how fucking nuts it was.

As I approached, she spotted me, and as our eyes locked together an amused sort of grin broke across her face.

I paused, taken back for a moment over the fact that she was smiling at me, before I returned it, wryly.

As we passed, and in response to the current rumors, I shrugged, to which she only shook her head to herself.

Her reaction didn't really surprise me, and I was used to her taking such a cynical approach with me.

Hell, I was just glad she was acknowledging me again.

. . .

I was accompanied to my classes with suggestive fucking thumbs up signs, high fives—that I shamefully participated in—and endless amounts of congratulations.

It was easy to lose myself, but of course fucking Jazz was always going to drag my ass back down to earth.

"Dude, you do realize that it's all bullshit, don't you?" he whispered to me during third period, smirking to himself like the prick he was. He then added—effectively distracting me as I was contemplating how best to knock him on his ass without fucking killing myself, "Apparently Bella told everyone in her first period class that Newton wasn't man enough for her." He snickered, while a fucking fire was lit in my groin, and I was suddenly full fucking erect in the middle of the classroom.

It lasted the whole fucking lesson.

While Jazz sat chuckling to himself barely under his breath, I attempted to conceal the evidence of it by hunching over in my seat and hiding my expression behind the palms of my hands.

"Down, boy," I heard the pissant tease me, a smirk clearly on his face, despite the fact that I couldn't see him.

It was the most painful hour of my life, and as the end of class drew near, I was still no closer to deflating. But there was no way out of it; I couldn't get past the meaning behind Bella's words. In saying that Weasel wasn't man enough for her, did that mean I was?

With my shoulder bag strategically placed over my raging hard on, I walked stiffer than my dick out of third period with Jazz beside me, no longer even trying to conceal his fucking laughter. You'd think he'd manage to cough up a fraction of empathy.

I was half way to English attempting to ignore all the attention in an attempt to get on top of my-fucking-self, when I was slapped abruptly from behind.

"Dude—what are you doing boning her?" some prick sophomore asked me. "She's a fucking whore!"

I was instantly fuming, reversing the kinetics of my emotions in that instant. Rounding on him, I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, slamming him against the wall in one motion.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?" I roared, just as an explosion of pain tore through my stomach, knocking the air from my lungs.

Gasping for air, I released my grip on him and staggered backwards, as an agonized groan escaped from me. Wrapping my arm around my waist, I reached out with the other to steady myself against the wall, trying to catch my breath. The pain was fucking searing, and for a moment the idea that I might puke, or pass out—or both—started becoming a possibility.

"Jesus, Edward!" Jazz exclaimed beside me as I tried repeatedly to inflate my lungs without spasms of pain ripping through my stomach.

"I'm okay!" I burst lamely in little more than a croak, still gasping, as the heat of it blazed in my face.

Like the fucking decrepit that I was, Jazz helped me to stand upright. The expression on his face was a mixture of impatience and begrudging concern.

Standing slowly, I stretched myself to my full height; the pain convulsed in a last ditch effort before it settled to a dull, throbbing ache. But I was fucking exhausted; my eyes dipped weakly as a wave of fatigue washed through me.

"I'm fine," I insisted, inhaling deeply and grimacing as my stomach squeezed sharply again. Then shoving off Jazz's steadying arm, and ignoring the legions of stares, I walked with slow, unsteady steps into English; taking my seat a little too clumsily, and practically collapsing into it.

Jazz sat beside me a moment later, his eyebrows pulling together with pissed off concern. "You look like you're gonna puke!" It seemed like it was more of a fucking accusation, and he was shaking his head to himself as if he'd never done anything impulsive in his life.

I was on the verge of reminding him about Arlington High chick, but closed my mouth again. I couldn't be fucked arguing with him; I was still feeling lightheaded and shaky, but thank fuck the urge to throw up had passed.

I spent English slumped in my chair in a desperate attempt to regain my energy. I felt like shit, and there was no way I was going to miss Bio. Bella, for the first time in a month, openly acknowledged and smiled at me. It might have all been just a part of the rumors, but whatever the reason, if she was going to talk to me again; if she was going to flash that sexy as fucking hell—albeit cynical—smile in my direction, I was going to be there when she did.

By the time the lunch bell signaled I was at about fifty percent. I was still carrying a nagging ache under my ribs, but my main concern was how fucked up exhausted I was.

As I walked toward the cafeteria, my legs still fucking shaking, I tried ignoring the high fives and 'way to go, Cullens'. At best, I tried not to react in a way that would turn Jazz's pissed off demeanor to one of mocking sarcasm again, when I became aware of something different. Along with the "way to go's", I was getting "dude, chill".

I paused, feeling my heart jolt as I contemplated what it could mean, and when I was confident that I could find my voice, I turned to Jazz. "What the hell is going on, now?"

Jazz snorted. "You're a dick. In the words of your favorite Australian, they seen you 'chuck a mental'."

"Cut the crap, asshole!" I snapped, rolling my eyes before the realization of what he meant hit me. I froze mid stride. "Oh, fuck!"

"Pretty quick, dude." He snorted, fucking mocking me.

But I was barely aware of him as I was suddenly engulfed by fucking dread.

"I've fucked it up, haven't I?" I muttered a moment later, more or less to myself, bringing my palm to my forehead, and having the urge to rip the skin off.

There was no reply, and when I turned to face him, he was contemplating it before half shrugging. "I don't see how. She should be flattered. I know Alley would be as horny—" he stopped abruptly.

"Jesus!" I burst. "Can you fucking help yourself?"

"Dude, you're swearing like a motherfucker these days, you know that?" Jazz stated, smirking to himself—or more trying to hold back the snicker. He obviously thought he was fucking hilarious.

I only sighed heavily, but otherwise ignored him.

As I walked through the entrance to the cafeteria, my stomach in fucking knots, I immediately searched for Bella. I spotted her sitting at her regular table—staring straight at me, and as our eyes met, she smiled. It was warm, while a seriousness was etched into her forehead. She definitely didn't look pissed or frustrated; she looked … Jesus, like she wanted to hug me.

I smiled back, feeling my body heat immediately surge as a profound feeling of relief washed through me.

She looked away then, without her expression turning cynical or suspicious, and with the relief and fucking exhaustion I was feeling mingling together, I sat in my chair, feeling suddenly drunk. This was when I was shoved sideways, jolting my already tormented stomach and making me wince.

"You're an idiot!" Alice's voice burst angrily.

I sighed and opened my mouth to reply, when she cut me off, "What were you thinking?" she demanded, her eyes narrowing; her expression a mixture of pissed off and concerned.

"I wasn't thinking, Alice," I admitted, simply. "Some prick called her a whore and I snapped."

"And then you collapsed!" Her anger wavered and suddenly I was seeing post-accident, full of guilt Alice.

I huffed shortly. "I did not collapse!"

Technically I hadn't; though, wise ass Jazz quirked an eyebrow at me dubiously.

"Really?" she challenged me unconvinced, her tone switching back to anger again. "Have you seen yourself, Edward? You look like death."

"Alice, would you just relax—Jesus!" I was beginning to feel irritated by her fucking scolding me in the middle of the cafeteria.

"Maybe you should think before you act for once in your life," she added, but ignoring her, I glanced up, subconsciously seeking Bella again. She was chatting to Rose; an easy-going grin had replaced the seriousness from a moment ago.

As my gaze remained on her, she looked directly at me again—as if it was her intention. Her eyes were dark and endless, and I couldn't read them.

"It's called guilt, Edward!" Alice spoke up dryly.

I tore my eyes from Bella's, jarred. "Huh?" I replied blankly.

"She feels terrible that you got hurt while standing up for her." Alice's tone was impatient this time, as if I should have immediately realized.

Guilt—again!

I felt like groaning with the sudden realization that I was a fucking bastard, while praying silently that Bella's guilt wouldn't turn into anger and she'd go back to ignoring me again.

I gazed over to her once more, but this time it was to see for myself whether Alice was right. And the moment I caught her gaze it was obvious that it was guilt that was suddenly ingrained in her expression.

She smiled at me again—and the fact that it was completely fucking sincere only cemented it. She never smiled at me with anything but suspicion.

I only smiled back, feeling like the bastard I was, before breaking her gaze to run my hand back through my hair.

"You want to hear something odd?" Alice suddenly piped up, as recognition suddenly sparked in her eyes.

"What?" I asked, half shrugging with indifference.

Her eyes narrowed as she scrutinized me for a moment before she answered, "Jake came up to Bella and told her, in not so many words, to go easy on you. That he'd do the exact same thing only worse if it was Nessie."

I snapped my head up in immediate surprise. "You serious?"

"Very." Alice smirked at my reaction before she went back to schlepping over Jazz, leaving me to contemplate this latest revelation.

I glanced over at Jake. He and his girlfriend were huddled together, feeding each other as if they were a couple of fucking geriatrics. Maybe it was just as well, because if Jacob had met my gaze I may have done something disturbing—like wave.

I was still in a state of bewilderment by the time the bell signaled for fifth period. For a moment it didn't register. Fucking pathetically, I normally sat and counted the minutes to my one class with Bella.

"Not going to Bio today, Edward?" Alice teased me, moments before Jazz fucking added, "Yeah, Dude, I would have thought you'd be undressing in anticipation."

They burst into laughter and I was fucking out of there.

I arrived before her. I hated it. Like the pussy I was I always convinced myself it was because she wanted to avoid sitting with me. As it was she was only seconds behind me, and just as I was taking my seat she was walking through the door.

Making her way to our table, she sat down, flashing me a warm, welcoming smile as she did.

She was still acknowledging me.

I smiled back, almost too fearful to breathe in case whatever the fuck was happening would burst and she'd go back to ignoring me again.

With the smile remaining fractionally on her lips, she bent down under her desk to retrieve her Bio book out of her bag, tucking her hair behind her ear as she did. It gave me an immediate view of her cleavage, and the blood in my veins immediately started buzzing with heat.

Fucking Jazz was right. To avoid Bella seeing me remove my jacket and sweater in class, I usually took them off during lunch. I should have known the prick would shove it in my face. I was too distracted during lunch, and now I was faced with removing them in front of her and have her witness again what a pussy I was, or sit with my sweater and jacket on and start sweating like a fucking farm animal.

It was going to be a very uncomfortable hour.

Mr. Banner walked in and got straight to business, filling in the whiteboard with scribbling. Finals were in two weeks—as behind as I was, but too distracted, I tilted my head to peripherally peek at Bella.

She looked lost in thought, her eyebrows pulling together into a frown. I only continued to gaze at her; her expression didn't falter and I wasn't entirely convinced it was the result of the teacher's lecture.

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner suddenly spoke up, breaking me from my preoccupation, and surprising me to the point that I practically jumped out of my skin.

My head snapped up and my attention shot in his direction. He had his back turned, poised to write an answer on the whiteboard; an answer I didn't fucking have. I had no freaking clue what he'd been saying.

"Erm..." I made some awkward fucking sound, when Bella suddenly reached over, grabbed my note pad and quickly scrawled something on it—with one of my pink pens.

I just sat there, all thoughts of the answer the teacher was waiting for dissolved from my mind as I stared dumbfounded at her pen.

She was using one of my pens.

"Mr. Cullen?" Mr. Banner repeated, his voice rising, about to turn and set his scrutinizing gaze in my direction.

And suddenly Bella began tapping the pad with her pen, urgently.

With my coherency snapping back, I focused my eyes on what she'd written on my note pad.

"Synapse," I hastily spoke, while my heart continued to thud so heavily it was creating a fucking tsunami beneath my sweater. I yanked on the collar.

"Just in time," he muttered, writing the word on the whiteboard.

Releasing my breath, I gave myself a moment to get a grip on myself, before I reached over, with pitifully trembling hands, and wrote an untidy thank you on my notepad, before sliding it in front of Bella.

She smiled to herself, wrote a reply and passed it back to me again.

You're welcome.

I smiled, but I couldn't stop staring at her pen. It was definitely one of the pens I'd given her. Either that, or she'd bought more.

But what the fuck did it mean?

Fuck it, it was irrelevant. She was smiling at me, using my pen, and fucking Jake was sticking up for me. Whatever the hell was going on I was just going to go with it.

With my hands still fucking shaking, I pulled the notepad closer to me and wrote:

I'm glad we're on writing terms again

She smiled to herself, rolling her eyes slightly, before writing a reply and pushing the notepad back in front of me.

I never said we weren't on writing terms

I paused. Was she fucking with me? She hadn't spoken a word to me in a month...

I glanced back over to her; she'd turned her attention to the front of the class, and seemingly to the teacher, with a smile still ghosting over her lips.

I was beginning to suspect that Bella was the devil—and I was little more than a fucking sap who'd been reduced to this pitiful, trembling, fucking wreck.

I had to face it, I was in way over my head, but instead of it pissing me off, like it normally would, I was feeling the complete fucking opposite. I almost broke into an ironic laugh—hastily bringing my fist to my mouth and clearing my throat. It caught Bella's attention and this time she turned to face me squarely. I smiled at her, completely fucking conceding defeat, and this time when she smiled back, there it was in full view; that smile I'd been dreaming about every damn night.

No suspicion, no skepticism; no cynacism; no doubt. Just warm and tender and fucked up killing me.

Fuck!

I was getting another boner, and I was unable to break away.

Mr. Banner was suddenly clearing his throat, loudly and hinged with irritation. It immediately severed my gaze from her, only to discover that not only was the teacher staring at us, but so was the entire classroom.

"Sorry, Sir," I blurted out, flustered, like the complete idiot that I was.

"No answer, Mr. Cullen?" he asked me, his eyebrow raising.

I only shook my head in answer.

"Miss Swan?" He turned his scrutiny on her.

"No … sorry," she admitted, her face flushing.

"Does anyone have the answer?" Mr. Banner turned his attention to the rest of the class.

Weasel called out the wrong answer. I snorted, only half beneath my breath, noticing Bella's lips twitch ever so slightly as she attempted to remain composed.

Sighing loudly, Mr. Banner turned to the whiteboard and wrote the correct answer, before continuing his lecture.

"See, I told you Cullen was fucking the whore again," a voice from behind us spoke lowly. It was said with the obvious intention of Bella hearing and was followed by several hushed snickers.

I was immediately fucking pissed, going rigid in my chair before whipping my head around in the direction it came from, just as the teacher shouted across the room, "There will be no speaking unless I address you. Is that clear?"

He'd heard as well.

I narrowed my attention to four guys—all of them avoiding my gaze, with fucking guilt written all over their faces.

"Edward," Bella whispered, her fingers reaching out to touch my hand—that I'd clenched into a tight fist around my pen.

It surprised me, and when I turned to meet her gaze, her eyes were wide and pleading.

"Don't worry about it," she insisted, shaking her head.

I expelled my breath, still pissed off, but the conclusion was that I was a fucking bastard. All this shit was my fault! She was being called a whore because of me!

"Bella … I'm so sorry," I said gently, breaking my gaze; I couldn't fucking look at her; I felt like a piece of shit.

She nudged me then, bringing a reluctant smile to my face.

"If you don't stop being a sooky la la, Edward, I will suspend all note writing privileges," she teased me in a soft voice.

Oh, fuck yes, she was most definitely the devil.

. . .

At the end of Bio, Bella turned to me, her smile still warm and genuine—with only a fraction to suggest she didn't quite trust me. "Goodbye, Edward."

"See-ya later, alligator." My voice had dropped to outright-betrayal-of-my-self-respect tender; this was despite the fact that I hadn't even realized what I'd just said.

It hit me a moment later, and I wanted to fucking groan out loud and beat my head into the table top.

What the fuck was wrong with me?

When I finally braved Bella's gaze again, feeling my ears on fucking fire, her smile only broadened, becoming toothy with amusement.

"While, crocodile," she replied in a light tone before she stepped into the aisle and headed toward the door.

A/N: Thanks for reading :)