Jude heated up one of the Greek burgers Connor had made yesterday for the two of them and carried it over to his couch. He sat on the floor between the couch and the coffee table and watched his laptop screen carefully. Right at seven o'clock, his Skype screen started.

"Hey, Moms."

"Fast food?" Stef asked, eyeing his burger.

Jude shook his head. "Connor made Greek burgers yesterday."

"They sound good," Lena said, while Stef repeated Connor's name.

"I know Mom told you about him," Jude said. "Don't lie to me."

Stef shrugged. "I might have heard a thing or two."

Jude was sure that 'a thing or two' encompassed the entire conversation he'd had with Lena, but he didn't really mind. Connor wasn't something that he wanted to hide from either of his mothers. He took another bite of his burger.

"So things are going well with him?" Stef prompted.

"I think so. He makes me happy."

"That's what we want to hear."

Jude tapped his fingers on the coffee table. "He's still healing and sometimes that makes things hard."

"What happened, love?" Stef asked.

Jude told them about how Connor didn't like having hands around his head or neck and how he had forgotten about it. He didn't know what his mothers would say; he didn't know what he wanted them to say. He knew that he couldn't be hyper vigilant all of the time; he knew that he and Connor were both human. That didn't mean that he didn't feel bad about it and it didn't mean that he wasn't going to strive to be better in the future. He wanted Connor to be safe with him. He didn't want Connor to think of his ex-boyfriend when they were together. He wanted to keep Connor's mind off his past completely.

"He … he worked through it," Jude added, "but I hate seeing him cry."

"It probably means a lot to him that you were able to admit that it was a mistake," Lena said. "That has to show him you're different."

"I hope so." Jude shrugged.

Before he could say anything else, Stef asked if that was a new sweatshirt he was wearing.

"Oh, it's Connor's … I borrowed it." Then Jude spoke before either of them could, "What's going on at home?"

"Nothing, we're boring, you know that," Stef said.

"You could at least pretend otherwise."

Lena laughed. "Oh, Brandon has a crush on the mother of one of his piano students."

"Am I allowed to know that?" Jude asked.

"Not yet," Stef replied.

Jude mimed sealing his lips.

"Everyone's doing good, though, and Callie is still in love with her new job."

"Or maybe the new reporter that was hired."

"Not that we know about that yet either, officially," Stef said quickly to Jude.

Jude mimed sealing his lips again, while Lena moved onto telling him that Jesus was thinking about buying a new car, and that was when Jude sighed.

"My car broke down yesterday on campus."

"Do you know what's wrong with it?"

"Yeah. I got it towed to the shop this morning. It's going to be about two hundred to fix. It could be worse."

"I don't want to see you put more money into that car than you paid for it," Stef said.

"I know, I know. But he should be fine after this."

"I'm sure he will," Stef said, amused.

"Connor named him Gerald."

Stef mused over it, while Lena smiled at him. He liked her expression and how hopeful it was.

"Are you bringing Connor home for your birthday?" Lena asked.

"That's a month away."

"Maybe he's trying to hide Connor from us," Stef said to Lena.

"We're taking it slow."

"Slow and steady wins the race," Lena said.

"And the family is overwhelming," Stef conceded.

"I love you, though."

Jude's comment caused Lena to laugh and she nudged Stef's shoulder with her own. "It's not the family that's overwhelming, it's just you."

"We're all nuts, let's not pretend otherwise," Stef said. "And you're the craziest of all of us."

"Don't get too ahead of yourself," Lena said. "You fit in here!"

"That's why we're all together. We all fit in here."

Jude propped his head up on his hand, smiling at the image of home. Stef and Lena were sitting together at the kitchen table and Jude thought about how, if he left right now, he could be there in an hour. Sometimes Jude got homesick for Stef's and Lena's in a way so intense that he couldn't quite explain. He thought that it might be because it had taken him so long to come home to them and they were his solid ground. Sometimes, what he needed was to go to a place where he knew he belonged – no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"Once I get Gerald fixed, I'm going to come home for a night," he announced.

"Sure!" Lena said. "Just let us know!"

"I'll be honoured to be crammed into your busy social life."

"Well, Mama and I are in high demand."

"We're finally the popular kids."

Jude laughed and leant on his other hand too, just happy to listen.

(-.-)

Connor found the study room that his group was in and carefully inched his way into a seat. He was between Brandy and Jake today. Alicia was sitting across from him, sulking, and Caitlyn had followed him in, taking a seat at the head of the table.

"We need to decide on an idea today or we're going to get behind," Jake said.

"Wait! I have something to say," Alicia said.

"What?" Caitlyn asked, sounding bored. "We probably don't care."

"Did you know Connor's gay?"

Connor froze and he felt like his heart stopped beating.

"Yeah," Jake said. "You've got a boyfriend, right? That guy I saw you with the other day."

"We're together," Connor whispered.

"Who cares?" Caitlyn asked. "It's got nothing to do with this project."

Brandy studied her bright red fingernails, sighed, flipped her long black hair over her shoulder, and leant toward Alicia. "And I'm a lesbian. What the fuck are you trying to do?"

"I … I … nothing."

"Don't give me that," Brandy snapped. "What the fuck are you trying to do?"

Connor shrunk into his chair. He was going to lose it if they started to yell.

Alicia looked like she was going to give in, but then she stood up and glared. "Who do you think you are anyway?! You're just some dyke bitch and he's some kind of fa –"

She didn't get the word out before Brandy hit her. Connor heard Alicia scream and he heard the return slap. He started to shake and snatched up his bag, choking out to Jake, "I have to go."

"I'm right behind you," Jake said, shaking his head at the scene.

Connor didn't stop to see if that was true. He fled from the library and toward his room, but he wanted off campus. He wanted away. He picked up his phone and called Jude, knowing that he was home. He hoped he picked up; he hoped he answered.

"Hey, Connor. How was your group?"

"C-c-can you come g-g-get me? I-I-I …" He was starting to fly apart in public and it was taking all of his strength to keep himself together. He didn't want to be a mess in the middle of campus.

"Of course I can. Gerald's still in the shop so I'll have to take the bus, okay? But then we can come back here together."

"Okay."

"Where do you want me to meet you at?"

"By the bus," Connor whispered.

"Okay. I'll be there soon, all right?"

"Okay."

Connor hung up his phone and then he set off to find the stop for Jude's bus. He found it and then he sat on the ground behind the bench so that he could have a moment to just hang his head behind his knees and breathe. He didn't move until Jude crouched down next to him.

"Next bus comes in half an hour."

Connor picked his head up.

"Are you okay?"

Connor nodded. He couldn't bring himself to think. His entire self just felt numb.

"Do you want to talk about?"

Connor shook his head.

"At least sit on the bench with me, all right?"

Connor held out his hands and Jude helped him up. They sat on the bench together, shoulder to shoulder, until the bus pulled up. Connor hesitated as Jude boarded first, but there were only three other people behind him. He hoped that it wasn't going to be a crowded bus. He wouldn't be able to do a crowded bus after watching Brandy hit Alicia. He just couldn't.

Jude let him sit on the inside at the back and Connor was just grateful to be so understood. He started to tremble as the bus continued on, hearing over and over again the sound of Alicia being hit and then Brandy being hit. Jude quietly asked if he was all right, and Connor could only nod. He was grateful that Jude could just sit next to him – no touching, no questions, just existing next to one another.

They got off the bus across from Jude's workplace. It was a warm day and sweat formed on Connor's brow during the short walk to Jude's apartment. He didn't know what he was going to do once he was inside. He had just thought about being away from campus and getting somewhere safe, and that place was Jude's place. He was anxiously tapping his fingers together as Jude unlocked his door and let Connor in. Connor's eyes fell on the kitchen.

"C-can I cook something?"

"Sure. If you want to. I don't know what I have for ingredients, though."

Connor would find something. He turned on the light to the kitchen and started opening cupboards. There was part of him that felt like a trespasser, but Connor pushed that feeling away. Cooking and working at something was what was going to help him. He looked over as he heard a small scraping sound; Jude had taken a seat at one of the stools. Connor glanced over at him and felt everything just well up inside of him until he thought that he would burst.

He found the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies and he piled them up on the counter. Jude had to direct him to where his mixing bowls were kept. Connor started to make the cookies and then he let out a sigh.

"After we'd fight, I would come and cook. He always liked having food in the house. I liked losing myself in a recipe, especially new ones. Old ones I would have time to think and that wasn't the point. It would make him a little happier to see me cooking," Connor said quietly. He realized he'd paused in measuring out sugar to press a hand to his abdomen. He quickly shook his head. "Sometimes it was the only thing that I felt like I was in control of. I didn't have much say in anything else but food. He let me have that. Going grocery shopping with him was one of the only times I really left the house."

He continued in a small voice, talking about what had happened that afternoon. Most of the time, after he and his ex fought, his ex would leave the house and Connor would go to the kitchen to cook. There, he would talk aloud to the empty room, spilling out all of his thoughts, tears, and feelings. The kitchen had been the happiest room in the house for him.

"I don't like seeing violence. I mean, seeing it in T.V. and movies feels different. But when it happens in front of me … I just think about what happened to me. And I keep hearing the sounds of that slap in my head and that I just … can't take it."

Connor closed the oven door so that it made no sound at all and turned to face Jude. Jude was sitting at the kitchen counter, watching him intently, and Connor's face crumbled.

"You're listening to me," he whispered.

"Of course I am."

Connor turned back to the oven. "The cookies will be done soon."

"How are you feeling?"

Connor hid his face in his hands and sat on the floor, unable to think. "I don't know."

He heard the stool move and then Jude was next to him. "Connor, no one's going to hit you anymore. That part of your life is over. You're not in trouble for anything, certainly not for who you are. Alicia was over the line but that's her fault, not yours. You didn't do anything wrong."

Connor reached his hand out and Jude took it. He wanted to badly to believe what Jude was telling him. He wanted to be able to trust Jude entirely. He gasped in surprise as Jude pressed a kiss to his knuckles.

"You're safe here."

Connor believed that, at least, and he let Jude hug him. He even took comfort from the hold. Jude rocked him back and forth as the chill from the tile floor leaked into Connor's bones. "I'm sorry I get upset so much."

"It's all right."

"Wouldn't you be happier if I didn't cry?"

Jude kissed his forehead. "Only if you were actually happier. It's hard, I know that, and I want to be here for you through it."

"You're too nice, Jude."

"I don't think so."

Jude moved so that his head was nearly touching Connor's shoulder and Connor shivered as Jude's breath got under his collar.

"Are you all right?" Jude asked, tilting his head so Connor couldn't feel his breath anymore.

"It tickled."

"What tickled? This?"

Jude tucked his face back into the crook of Connor's neck again and huffed heavily at him. Connor laughed in spite of himself and he tightened his grip on Jude. Jude kissed the side of his neck, which made Connor's tense, but Jude backed off immediately, huffing on Connor again, and Connor let out another laugh. Jude sat back and then leant forward again, just to kiss the tip of Connor's nose.

"Good, you're smiling."

Connor tapped his fingers against Jude's back. "You make me do that."

"It's the only thing I'll ever make you do."

"You make me laugh."

"Okay, two things," Jude conceded.

"You make me happy," Connor added.

"Okay, okay. It'll only ever be good things. At least, I hope that it's only good things."

"It is." Connor moved his hands around so that the pads of his fingers were resting against Jude's cheeks. "You really don't mind?"

"Nope. And I really like it when you play with my hair."

That was a cue that Connor understood and he moved one hand up to the back of Jude's head. Jude's brown hair was very short and was on the thinner side.

"Can I ask you something?" Connor whispered, suddenly scared.

"Of course."

"What do you think of my hair?"

"I like it. You're a little shaggy, but you look good. How long are you going to let it go?"

Connor shrugged. "I trim it sometimes but I haven't really gotten it cut in months."

"I like how you look," Jude said, and he kissed Connor's cheek. "How do you feel?"

"I still feel it hurt but you help. I feel like I can deal with it when you're here." Connor frowned. "Sometimes, when it's quiet, I hear it over and over again. Just the sound of … of … s-someone being hit and I … can't get rid of it."

Jude was quiet and Connor wondered if he had said too much. He ran his hand through Jude's hair again and Jude looked at him, meeting his eyes. Jude was an open person, but Connor still couldn't read the expression on his face. All he was sure of was that Jude's brown eyes were sweet and he didn't want to look away. He played with the hair on the back of Jude's head.

"Can I ask what you're thinking?" Connor whispered.

"I'm very sorry that was your life."

Connor stared down at the blue tile floor, feeling his face start to twist. "I don't like the feeling of you pitying me."

"I don't pity you!" Jude blurted. "It's not pity. No one should have to live like that. But I know you and I care about you and I hate that for you even more, okay?"

"Okay," Connor whimpered.

"Do you believe me?"

"Yes." This time, Connor sounded surer of himself.

"I'll take it," Jude mused.

Connor traced his fingers along the edge of Jude's jawline and then up to touch his lips. Jude closed his eyes and Connor hesitated before touching the skin of his eyelids as gently as possible. He felt the storm inside of himself calm as Jude's breath tickled his wrists. Connor kissed one of Jude's cheeks, thinking of how good it felt when Jude kissed him like that and he hoped that Jude felt the same thing. He let his lips linger against Jude's skin, letting them slide until he was just at the corner of Jude's mouth. He lingered there until he couldn't breathe and then Jude tilted his head and they were kissing.

Connor liked the way that Jude kissed him. He liked that it was soft and gentle; he liked that Jude didn't grab at him and force him into the kiss. Jude kissed him like it was Jude's privilege to kiss him. Connor didn't feel trapped in Jude's embrace; Jude made him feel like it was right and safe for him to be there. And it was terrifying, how much Connor felt like he could trust Jude. He desperately wanted to try to rein himself in and control himself, but he had to learn how to let himself go a little. He knew that. He knew that it was safe to do that with Jude. Jude, who was kissing him in a way that made him want to sing happily and smile so brightly that his past self was sure to feel it.

The oven timer beeped and Connor looked up, immediately started to rise. Jude's hand caught his shirt.

"But you just started kissing me."

Connor started sinking back to the floor, even as he said, "But they'll burn."

"We don't want them to burn," Jude said.

"No, we don't." Jude slid backward and nodded toward the oven, and so Connor jumped to his feet.

Connor lowered the oven door carefully, since Jude's kitchen was small and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt him. He got the cookies out of the oven and sat them on top of the stove, quickly closing the oven door so he could look at his baking. He poked at the cookies and then he was too scared to face Jude.

"I'm sorry," he whispered to the pan. "I think I burnt them a little."

He didn't move as he listened to Jude stand up from the floor, and then Jude was leaning on the counter next to him.

"They look great to me."

Connor showed him the undersides of the chocolate chip cookies, which were definitely darker than they should have been. He didn't want to look up at Jude. Cooking had given him some semblance of control, so long as he got it right. Getting things right was always first priority. Jude picked up one of the cookies and Connor let out a squeak. They had just come out of the oven! They still hadn't set properly yet and the cookie began to melt chocolate all over Jude's fingers. Still, Jude popped the entire thing in his mouth.

"You're going to burn yourself!"

Jude had one hand over his mouth, speaking into his palm as he protested, "They're so good!"

"Are you lying to me?"

"I wouldn't do that." Jude swallowed his cookie and dropped his hand. "You did a good job."

The corners of Connor's mouth lifted and he had to glance away from Jude in order to keep from grinning like he was an idiot. The little words that Jude gave him meant the most to him. He finally got himself under enough control to look up at Jude, and he noticed a bit of chocolate on the side of his mouth, which he pointed out. Jude swiped at his lip but missed it entirely, and so Connor ripped off a piece of paper towel and cleaned Jude's face for him.

"See, that would have been a perfect opportunity to kiss chocolate off me."

"That seems awkward," Connor replied innocently.

"So can I kiss you now?"

Connor rose up onto his toes, thinking. He put his hands on Jude's shoulders to balance himself.

"Trying to be tall?" Jude teased and went up onto his own tip toes.

"You're not that much taller than me," Connor said.

He was pouting a little. Jude carefully slipped his hand around Connor's waist, watching his facial expression. Connor was bad at hiding when he was anxious or concerned about something. He didn't see any of that and Jude put his other arm around Connor. Connor stepped into him and kissed him first. His lips moved slowly and he had one hand gripping the collar of Jude's shirt so that Jude could feel his hand against his neck. Connor's kisses were always slow and a little hesitant, but Jude felt the urge, like he had before, to push; he wanted to kiss Connor until his lips went numb and his lungs felt like they were going to burst from the lack of oxygen and then kiss him again. But Connor kissed him, beautiful and sweet, and Jude dropped one hand to the small of his back. He felt Connor's arms tighten around him and Jude had to lean back to look at Connor's face.

"What?" Connor murmured. "Is it okay?"

"You're squeezing me."

"You don't like being squeezed?"

"I didn't know if it was good or bad."

"I meant it to be good." Connor rested his head against Jude's shoulder and tightened his arms again.

"You seem happier," Jude said, frowning as he remembered the man that he'd picked up only an hour and a half before.

"Just trying not to think about it. Can we watch a movie?"

"Sure," Jude said.

He gathered up a bunch of cookies onto a small plate and they went over to the couch. Connor curled up in his usual spot while Jude put the cookies down on the coffee table. He dropped onto the couch and then he looked over to Connor.

"Can I lay on you?"

"Okay," Connor agreed, but his voice was small.

Still, Jude lowered himself into Connor's lap. When he rested his head on Connor's thigh, he felt Connor relax and place his hand on Jude's head, playing with his hair. Jude felt perfectly happy as he picked up the remote and relaxed against his … Connor. Connor wasn't his boyfriend, not yet, because Connor didn't like that word. Jude did, though, and he wanted to use it with Connor, but he knew he had to hold himself back. He'd known that he would have to be patient in any kind of relationship with Connor and that he would have to move at Connor's pace. Even though Connor seemed to be doing really well, Jude knew that there was still a lot lurking below the surface. And Jude was happy to just to be with him and he could put that over using the word 'boyfriend', despite how much he wanted that word.

Jude rolled in Connor's arms so that he was looking up at him. Connor's hand shifted from Jude's hair down his cheek and the side of his neck. His touch was light and ticklish, but Jude didn't laugh. The look of concentration on Connor's face was intense and Jude's gaze fell to Connor's own neck. He didn't want to think about what Connor had gone through to cause such an intense hatred of hands near his head and neck. It was sickeningly obvious but Jude didn't want to believe that. He didn't want to think about that happening to someone he cared about.

"Will you tell me what you're thinking?" Connor asked.

"I need your help next week," Jude said. He didn't want to tell Connor what he'd really been thinking. Connor had been through enough today.

"With what?"

"I need a costume for Halloween. Since it's, like, a week away I figured I should get on that."

"If I go, will I need a costume?"

"You don't have to, but I think it's fun." Connor stared at him, uncertain. "Just think about it, okay? We'll go costume shopping sometime next week, after Gerald comes home."

"I can think about it," Connor agreed.

"Have you thought about what you want to watch?"

Connor shook his head. "You pick."

"I pick a lot."

Connor kissed his forehead and Jude melted. Connor was always so soft and sweet and he managed to tie Jude up in knots with just one touch. Jude felt like he could just lay with Connor like this forever. He turned slightly so he could face the screen and he felt the pads of Connor's fingers gently massaging the top of his head. Jude sighed happily.

He could definitely stay like this.

The chapter's title is after the song Brave by The Shires (reader recommended). If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~