Hey, everyone, and welcome back to Warrior Cats Parody! As usual, I hope you like this chapter, and let me know if there's something wrong with it so I can fix it. I welcome constructive criticism as long as you're polite about it.

I'm not sure how long I can continue, however, since I've decided to take a big break from the computer and the 3DS. It's not that I don't like working on this story, but I've got a book series to work on, and I'm gonna try and find a job. So I'll update whatever I can try, and again, I hope you like it.

Uploading Date: April 19, 2017

Enjoy!

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Welcome To The Clan Life

Ravenpaw had gotten revived by a cold bucket of water thrown onto him. Because of the coldness, he had quickly explained what was going on. Another cat Clan called RiverClan had challenged ThunderClan to a Pokémon battle, but it was tougher due to pseudo-legendary Pokémon being introduced to their battles.

"That lucky jerk! He actually got to go Pokémon battling against RiverClan! If I'd been there, I'd have brought out a legendary Pokémon like Zekrom and - " Graypaw began, but Smallear and Whitestorm shushed him.

Ravenpaw continued, but he suddenly fell unconscious again. Spottedleaf came to his side immediately, making loud noises like an ambulance, and carried him off to her den. That was the weirdest thing Firepaw had ever heard come from a cat's mouth.

A yowl rang from the camp entrance as a large dark brown tabby cat came into the camp. He was covered in battle scars, especially on his face, and he was huffing and puffing as he dragged a huge coffin behind him.

"Yeah, thanks a bunch, you butt-heads!" the big tabby grumbled as he hauled the coffin into the camp. "'Sure, let's let Tigerclaw handle all the heavy lifting!' You got Lionheart too, right?!"

He set the coffin down and stopped to take a breath, and everyone looked down into it. It was a small tortoiseshell tom with a tail as red as a fox, and he was clutching his Nintendo 3DS even in death. Several cats let out meows of shock and grief.

"Redtail!" Bluestar cried. She turned to the tabby and asked, "How did this happen, Tigerclaw?"

"He died an honorable warrior death," Tigerclaw told her. "He died of a heart attack once his Shuckle got taken down, but I managed to defeat Oakheart's Floatzel. RiverClan will not strike again." Pointing to the 3DS, he added, "I heard someone wanting to put a white flag there instead of the 3DS, but Redtail had wanted to die clutching it one more time."

The cats gathered around the coffin, mourning for Redtail. Tigerclaw strolled off toward Spottedleaf's den, and Darkstripe was watching DVDs of modern Family Guy on a portable DVD player.

Graypaw lowered his head and murmured, "Redtail may be dead, but he still lives on in StarClan. See the stars fixing to come out?" He pointed up at the sky. "They appear on that long line of big bluish black thing in big groups and watch over us."

"Oh, you mean the Milky Way," said Firepaw.

"We don't call it that here. We call it Silverpelt," retorted Graypaw.

Firepaw almost grinned. "Why do I think we're gonna call the Milky Way candy bar Silverpelt?" he asked.

But Graypaw shook his head. "Nah, we call it the Milky Way," he said. "Let's go check on Ravenpaw."

As they got close to the medicine den where Longtail had run off to, they saw Spottedleaf and Tigerclaw bending over Ravenpaw. Spottedleaf was inspecting his wound and chatting with Tigerclaw, about Ravenpaw's health, the weather, prey, the Chicago Cubs, you get the idea.

"Come on, you," growled Tigerclaw suddenly, giving Ravenpaw a hard nudge with his claw. "As your commanding officer, I order you to stand up and recite Panzerlied for me."

Firepaw winced. Tigerclaw's claw could pierce through a steak if it was cooked enough properly.

"Hey, be careful with that," Spottedleaf warned the big cat. "Just leave him alone, and he'll recover under my care. You wouldn't argue with a medicine cat, would you, big guy?" she asked with a friendly wink.

Firepaw found himself wishing she could wink at him like that. But he felt a little left out when Tigerclaw chuckled "I wouldn't dare argue with you, dear Spottedleaf", before he backed out of the den. When he spotted Firepaw and Graypaw, though, he took a deep sniff, and his amber eyes narrowed.

"Why would Bluestar let in a kittypet?" Tigerclaw hissed. "I kept telling her to make that gorse wall higher. You know, to keep all the kittypets, loners, and rogues out."

"I didn't sneak in. She let me in," said Rusty, hoping to get on Tigerclaw's good side. "I'm gonna train to be a ThunderClan warrior."

Tigerclaw snickered. "Okay, good joke, really. Why don't you run along now, back to Twolegplace?" But Firepaw didn't move and actually looked serious, so Tigerclaw growled, "Fine then. I'll...pay you twenty-five dollars if you get to be a warrior. You better make me impressed."

And with a scowl, he spun around and marched away.

"So...he likes me, right?" Firepaw asked Graypaw.

Graypaw shook his head. "Nah. He hates everyone, except Goldenflower. He's a big softy to her. He'll buy her flowers and candy, but he'll give the rest of us scowls and barking orders."

They wanted to visit Ravenpaw, but Spottedleaf wouldn't let them until he got better. So Graypaw and Spottedleaf started blowing raspberries at each other until their tongues got too dry. So the two friends left the medicine den and continued the tour around camp.

"So there's the leader's den and the apprentice's den and the warriors' den, blah blah blah. And Lionheart must've shown you the nursery, which I doubt he did," Graypaw prattled on, pointing to each den. "Okay, next stop is the elders den."

They approached a fallen log, where five old cats were sitting. Smallear was trying to listen to old music through headphones (kinda hard to do with tiny ears), a big tabby tom was munching on a mouse slowly, and a black-and-white cat was knitting alongside a very old gray cat with a clouded eye and an old tortoiseshell cat.

"By the way, the old black-and-white cat's my dad," Graypaw whispered to Firepaw. "I asked my mom why, but Willowpelt says she's mad at him."

"Why?" Firepaw asked.

"Because they're brother and sister, and they remembered that when I was born," said Graypaw, making a face. "Weird, right?"

That's beyond weird, that's "beweird", Firepaw thought as he made a face too.

Smallear was the first to notice them. "Hello, youngsters," he called in a slight Scottish accent. "Have you two eaten?"

"Not yet, Scrooge McDuck," said Graypaw with a grin.

"Come off it, you loony," Smallear scolded him. "It's not my fault one adaptation of our series made me Scottish...even if that adaptation is pretty good. Now then," he went on, his tone friendlier as he turned to the other elders, "you mind if these youngsters share a mouse?"

The elders shook their heads, as if they were one cat.

"Go on and help yourselves," said Smallear. "Dustpaw and Sandpaw are turning into fine hunters. Must be because of lending them the slingshots I've had since I was a kit."

He showed them a small pile of mice, and Firepaw and Graypaw picked one out. Graypaw said, "Okay, now's the time to try a mouse like you've always wanted. Hope it's better than pizza."

Firepaw took a bite out of the mouse and felt his taste buds explode. He had always loved pizza, but now he loved a kind of prey just as good as pizza. "This is amazing!" he purred, licking his lips.

"Then that means you're no longer a wimp," said Graypaw, pulling out two soda cans and tossing one to Firepaw. "And nothing goes better with a mouse than some Pepsi!"

As the young cats ate and drank, Smallear asked, "One-Eye, how long until Bluestar appoints a new deputy? She has to appoint one before moonhigh."

"What?" One-Eye asked, being half deaf.

"I think your hearing's gone as poor as your eyesight," Smallear snapped, giving the old she-cat a nudge. "I said 'How long until Bluestar appoints a new deputy'!"

One-Eye's response? "...what?"

Smallear growled silently to himself, "I hate my life."

"Dappletail," said One-Eye, turning to the old tortoiseshell, "do you remember when Bluestar herself became deputy?"

"Oh yes, I remember!" Dappetail replied. "It wasn't long after she lost her kits."

Why do I get the feeling that I'm gonna remember that? Rusty thought.

Once they were done eating, they joined the other cats outside as they finished their vigil for Redtail. Tigerclaw was there too, but he was playing his 3DS instead of grieving. "Come on, that's not a Brave nature Charmander," Firepaw heard the tabby growl. But the grieving came to an end when Bluestar showed up on her "big stupid rock", as she called it.

"So we bury Redtail, I will announce my new deputy and give him or her the first taste of Coca-Cola as the new deputy," said Bluestar, holding up a can of Coca-Cola. "Lionheart, get your lion butt up here!"

Lionheart looked surprised, but he came up and accepted the drink. He took a sip and held up the can as a toast, soda still on his mouth fur like a soda mustache. "As young Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee take responsibility to take the Ring to cast it into the heart of Mount Doom," he declared, "I too will take responsibility for being the deputy."

That made the Clan raise their cans too as a toast.

Tigerclaw quietly threw a tantrum. But he kept it inside as he "heartily" congratulated Lionheart with a hearty smack on the back of the head.

"Oh, and two more things I wanna add," Bluestar said. "First, Darkstripe will be Dustpelt's new mentor. Just don't get a swelled head," she told Darkstripe, who had puffed his chest out pompously. She had taken up Redtail's 3DS plus the games and added, "And second, since Firepaw hasn't had a 3DS yet, I'll give him Redtail's, along with his Pokémon games and the Pokémon in there too. Treat them well."

Then she very carelessly threw them toward Firepaw, but a tabby named Runningwind caught the stuff before they hit the ground. He gave them to Firepaw, saying, "Here you go, new buddy."

"Um...thanks," Firepaw replied.

As the cats gathered around Redtail's coffin, ready to take it out for burial, Graypaw said, "I'm feeling tired. Let's get to bed."

So they went off to bed, but not before having some more soda. Rusty had noticed that Graypaw could chug soda down as if it was water. When they were done, they went to the apprentices' den, where they saw a pale ginger cat fixing to curl up for the night.

"You're the new ThunderClan apprentice?" she sniffed. "Ugh...you had to interrupt my Cheetah Girls movie with that kittypet stench!"

Firepaw felt a little taken aback, but Graypaw chuckled. "Sandpaw's usually not like this," he told Firepaw. "She's been watching too much Disney Channel sitcoms. It was bound to bite her back sooner or later."

Sandpaw glared at him. "So will all that caffiene you're drinking," she spat.

Now Graypaw glared back at her.

"I'm sensing hostility over here," came Whitestorm's voice, and he stepped into the den with his metal detector on. "Sandpaw, I thought you'd show your new Clanmate some decency."

"Sorry," Sandpaw mewed, though she looked as sorry as seeing mosquitoes die. "I just didn't know he'd be a kittypet, that's all."

Whitestorm told her, his voice still kind but firm, "Well, you'd better get used to it. Bluestar said that a kittypet is better than no cat." To Firepaw, he said, "Get some sleep. Tomorrow, your first day of hell awaits."

Firepaw, who was curling up in a nest, asked, "What was that?"

"Um...training begins tomorrow," Whitestorm blundered. "Anyway, good-night, sleep tight, dream of bedbugs tonight and all that."

He quickly left the den, his metal detector beeping all the way.

Firepaw and Graypaw settled beside each other...but not too close beside each other. They fell asleep, visions of mice and birds and RiverClan cats dancing in their heads.

To be continued...