Wildstar93: Hey there, everyone, and welcome back to the Warrior Cats parody! Sorry it took this long to update; we've had a busy time. I've been to therapy, we've been to Pennsylvania, and I'm writing down more book ideas. I'm even thinking of uploading my first-ever Samurai Jack story sometime in the future.

You all know the drill. I hope you like this chapter, and if there's anything wrong here, please let me know so I can fix it. I also welcome constructive criticism as long as you're polite about it.

Uploading Date: June 6, 2017 (Bravelands: Broken Pride comes out)

Enjoy!

...

Training From Hell...I Mean, Training

"Rusty! Rusty! Rusty!"

Firepaw wanted to sleep, having a good dream of finally getting The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Remastered, but the annoying voice kept going. It was like a bug he wanted to squish badly.

"Rusty! Rusty! Rusty! Rusty! Rusty! Rusty!"

"WHAT?!" Firepaw yelled, sitting up and facing Graypaw.

Graypaw grinned. "Hi," he said with a quick giggle. He cleared his throat and said, "Anyway, training's gonna begin. Lionheart and Tigerclaw said they'll wait at the training area."

So Firepaw immediately got up, and like Robin Hood and Little John, he and Graypaw went runnin' through the forest. When they got to the training hollow, Tigerclaw and Lionheart were already there. The former was playing a Pokémon game on his 3DS while the latter was reading Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers.

"You're late," Tigerclaw growled, putting away his 3DS. "Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Wrong story, Tigerclaw," said Lionheart, giving the other cat a nudge. He put away his Lord of the Rings book and said, "Today, we'll be touring the territories, but since there's no trespassing allowed, we'll need some spy gear."

He passed out some camoflage spray paint. Rusty was about to complain that it's only spray paint when he saw the other cats spraying it onto themselves. So he just shrugged and sprayed some paint on himself. When they were done, they went off pass some random place with tree-cutting machines and smoking joints before passing the Twolegplace.

"Now we're passing the Twolegplace, where the Twolegs go crazy," said Lionheart as they started walking. "Anyone see anything?"

Firepaw peeked out of the bushes before looking back. "I see two Twolegs making out, but nothing out of the ordinary," he reported.

"Bleh," Tigerclaw grimaced. "Romance...basically poison to every Clan cat. I'm glad Goldenflower and I broke it off quick."

"But she was telling everyone that you're Swiftkit's dad," said Lionheart.

Tigerclaw scowled. "Looks more like Patchpelt than me. I'm gonna call Dr. Phil about that when we get back to camp."

They decided to ignore that little tidbit and continued on. Away from the Twolegplace, they came across the river, a place of frogs and fish and perhaps a sneaky Kappa. Fortunately, there was no Kappa out today.

"Over there is RiverClan," Tigerclaw said. "They swim, eat fish, and are just as obsessed with Pokémon as we are. And we fight for Sunningrocks so we can boast on how ThunderClan is better than the other Clans. After that, we eat, sunbathe, and practice for Pokémon tournaments."

"Isn't that where Redtail died?" Firepaw asked. "And Oakheart too?"

"I'm still alive, you know..." rasped a still-barely-alive Oakheart, whose face was being smushed by Tigerclaw's foot. Since he only noticed this, Tigerclaw stomped on him a few time, hushing him up.

"Yes, that is where they died," said Lionheart. "Everyone use some spray-paint here."

They all took out some spray-paint and made it their own styles. Lionheart made his into a poster for the first Lord Of The Rings movie. Tigerclaw made his into him wielding all sorts of weapons. Graypaw made his into just a big Mountain Dew can. And Firepaw made his into the series finale of Samurai Jack. Once Graypaw complimented his new friend on that, they went the heck out of dodge.

As they climbed a hill, Firepaw thought, I wish the Clan could drive a car. We'd get their faster. Then again, they got those hovering skateboard things that were in the news two weeks ago. He could now imagine all of ThunderClan riding around on these to hilarious effect.

Finally, they arrived at the top of the hill, overlooking an area with four trees surrounding a big stupid rock. Firepaw wondered what the four trees stood for: either the four elemental nations, the four Hogwarts houses, or celebrating burning all four Twilight books.

"Over there is Fourtrees, where all four Clans gather," said Lionheart. "Some dead cats decided that it would be fun to have parties together...but we cut that when some nutcase named Mapleshade went nuts. Anyway, we all gather and talk about territory, who's having babies, who killed who, and TV shows we liked when we were kids."

"But we're all separated," Tigerclaw added. "And that's the way I like it. No RiverClan cat's gonna step onto my grass without a shotgun to the - "

He was interrupted when Firepaw asked rather boldly, "That seems stupid. How about we all get together someday and sing 'Why Can't We Be Friends'?"

No one said anything, and one could hear a crow just cawing in the distance...followed by it falling down. Finall able to respond, Tigerclaw threw Firepaw against a tree. "Tell me you didn't just say that, you dumb kittypet!" he spat. "And we don't sing that song here! We in ThunderClan are proud to sing Thunderstruck!"

"Whoa there, Tigerclaw," Lionheart said, running over to pick up Firepaw. "Let's not go roughing up the new kid. He's new to this whole thing." Then he told Firepaw, "You speak from your heart, young Firepaw. That may make you a great warrior one day."

"Oh, when he speaks from his heart, it's okay," Tigerclaw grumbled. "But when I speak from my heart, I get a slap on the wrist!"

Lionheart gave him a look. "Maybe it's because you've got flails, whips, and daggers in your nest," he replied.

Tigerclaw flinched before saying, "They're not flails, whips, and daggers! They're experiments for the battlefield!"

This made Lionheart roll his eyes before saying, "Ignoring that, no, we cannot be friends. Now it's time to see what ShadowClan's like."

"It stinks worse than badgers!" Graypaw added.

Suddenly, there was a badger standing across from them. It gave a very offended "Hmph!" and stomped away. The cats ignored that and headed out toward the road. They avoided anything from bicycles to vans and even the occasional ice cream truck with lots of kids forcing themselves inside.

"There it is," said Graypaw said, dodging a melting ice cream cone. "That's ShadowClan over there."

"How can you tell ShadowClan is over there?" Firepaw asked.

"They have claw marks and beaten-up teddy bears on the side of the Thunderpath," explained Lionheart, pointing to said evidence on the other side. "I mean, not every ShadowClan cat is bad, but have you seen their new deputy Brokentail?"

Firepaw rolled his eyes. "Sure, I saw him a million years ago," he said in a sarcastic way. "No, I came here yesterday! How would I meet him?"

Lionheart backed away. "Triggered much?" he asked. "I was only saying that he's the one who came up with that. In fact, I even heard of how he would eliminate all books in ShadowClan." He turned to Tigerclaw, who was busy playing his 3DS and called, "Are you ready to head back to camp, Tigerclaw?"

"Yeah, just hearing how there's gonna be Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon coming out as new Pokémon games," Tigerclaw replied.

Graypaw gasped. "No way! Sinnoh remakes would've been nice, though," he muttered.

"Ignoring that, let's head back," said Lionheart. "I think we'll be having tacos for dinner tonight."

...

But as it turned out, there was to be no tacos for dinner tonight. Instead, they had pizza sticks for dinner. Bluestar had announced that for the Gathering, any Clan cat going would have to eat light. So Firepaw and Graypaw went to their den to play Pokémon, where they saw Dustpaw and Sandpaw getting ready for the Gathering.

"Hey kittypet," scoffed Dustpaw, throwing a mouse at him. "Enjoy the food we caught for you."

Wow, jerk much? Firepaw thought. He had thought that he would at least be quiet considering Redtail's death. "How come you're being a jerk? I didn't do anything bad to you," he told Dustpaw.

"It's because you're a kittypet," Dustpaw replied. "Plain and simple."

Firepaw now felt like he wanted to throw something back at him. Like "Your mama wears combat boots!", but he wasn't sure whom everyone was related to yet.

"Anyway, we were out on a tour," Graypaw spoke up. "We didn't get to see any enemy Clan cats around."

"I bet you were running scared!" Sandpaw giggled not so kindly.

Graypaw puffed himself up. "Oh yeah? Well, we peed so hard that no ShadowClan cat dared come near us!"

Now Firepaw had a bad mental image he would never get rid of. "TMI, Graypaw," he said before turning to his denmates. "I heard there's a Gathering tonight. Are you going?"

"Heck yeah," boasted Dustpaw. "We'll get to see the other Clans while you stay in camp. We're gonna stay up all night with them, go swap manly stories with them, and I'm making waffles in the morning!"

A loud call from Bluestar brought all those attending the Gathering out. Some of the elders were heading out using canes and walkers.

"Bye, nerds," jeered Sandpaw. "See ya after the Gathering!"

Nerds? Firepaw thought indignantly as he watched them leave.

But Graypaw reassured him, saying, "We'll go to a Gathering one day. And they're calling us nerds because we still cling to our favorite childhood movies and stuff. By the way," he added, lowering his voice, "you spray-painted the Samurai Jack finale on Sunningrocks, right? Can we see it?"

Firepaw nodded.

...

The next day, Ravenpaw was well enough to join Firepaw and Graypaw. Only he didn't look so happy to train. He just hung back to read a book while Firepaw and Graypaw did a Pokémon battle this time. Firepaw was getting the hang of playing Pokémon, but he had still yet to learn the EV training stuff. Plus, there was a lot to be said for what they saw on the DVD last night.

"Come on, Ravenpaw, cheer up!" Graypaw urged him.

"I don't wanna open up my scar," mumbled Ravenpaw, who yelped as Tigerclaw poped up behind him.

"Having that battle scar makes you a man," growled Tigerclaw. "Either be a man and boast about it, or be a weakling and shut up. In other word, either man up or shut up."

Ravenpaw yelped again and hid his book. That was when Firepaw was that it was a coloring book instead of chapter books that he had seen in the Clan.

Now Lionheart was coming into the clearing, carrying two Lord Of The Rings books. "Good morning class and all who inhabit it," he said. "First lesson today is to learn to hunt mice. What can you tell me about how to hunt mice?"

Ravenpaw didn't answer, for Tigerclaw had told him to shut up. Graypaw had suggested getting elephants to crush the mice since he thought elephants were scared of mice. It was only when Firepaw suggested "stepping lightly" (to which Tigerclaw scoffed) did they start practicing.

As they did, Graypaw did his well, though he waved his butt around like he was a duck. Ravenpaw was doing the same, though not on purpose. Firepaw decided to go for an epic ninja crouch...not to much effect.

"You call that a crouch?! I've seen a dog bend down further than that to pass gas!" Tigerclaw spat.

"Even though I agree, at least he's trying," Lionheart told Tigerclaw, putting his book away.

Tigerclaw grumbled, but he said, "Yeah, you're right. At least he's not Ravenpaw. That little wimp can't stop falling over!"

Ravenpaw looked like he was going to cry, and Firepaw told Tigerclaw, "Don't pick on him! His injury's bothering him!"

"Shut your mouth, kittypet," growled Tigerclaw. "At least you're doing a lot better than Ravenpaw! You, a kittypet, get a crouch right, yet he, a Clan-born apprentice, ends up looking like a duck! Seriously! Why would Bluestar make me train a wimp?!"

Nobody spoke for a moment...except maybe a faraway crow crowing. Then Graypaw strode up and said, "Crouches are boring anyway. Can't we use a butt-slam on mice? You know, like how Po fought Tai Lung in Kung-Fu Panda."

"No, no. Don't show us that," said Lionheart, waving a paw. "Just go out there and see what you can find. Do your best."

"In other words, if you don't catch any prey, everyone gets to point and laugh at you," added Tigerclaw. "Even if you do...I'll still do it."

Lionheart nodded. "Tigerclaw is right. He'll laugh at you even if you do hunt well," he said. "Well then, you three, you better get on with it."

So he gave all three apprentices maps on where to go, and off they went. Firepaw took the route around an ancient stream, which was probably full of leaves, twigs, and lungfish complaining about the stream never filling up.

Just then, he saw a mouse nibbling on some cheese. This has nothing to do with the story; just wanted to say that it has some cheese. Firepaw crouched low, ready to pounce, and he could hear Graypaw yelling "Everybody was kung-fu fighting!" from a long distance away. Not distracted, he delivered a Five Knuckle Shuffle to the mouse before giving it a killing blow.

"YES! YES! YES!" Firepaw cheered in the way of Daniel Bryan. "I caught my first prey!"

"Well, that's great, 'cause you scared mine away!" Tigerclaw called back.

"Oops," Firepaw mewed.

But he didn't feel bad for long. He was going to be a warrior. And with that, he would finally get that Little Caesar's pizza.

To be continued...