"Hi, Dad," Connor said, resting his phone between his ear and his shoulder. "I sent you my exam schedule this morning. Did you see it?"
"I did. And I've already got flights booked. You're done on the fourteenth, I will be there around midday on the fifteenth, and then we're leaving early on the sixteenth so that we can go out to dinner with Jude on the evening of the eighth."
"Thank you, Dad."
Connor weaved his way around a woman's grocery cart, stretching onto his toes to reach the sprinkles on the top shelf.
"So, try and find somewhere you really want to go. Some place nice, okay?"
"Okay. I'll look around."
"What are you doing?"
"Some grocery shopping. It's Jude's birthday today and I'm going to make him dinner."
"Oh, that's sweet. What are you making him?"
"Um, Mom's shrimp alfredo. And a cake. I saw a recipe for hazelnut icing so I think I'm going to try that out. I think that he'll like it."
His basket had grown heavy, but Connor still had more ingredients to add. He needed shrimp, for certain, and eggs. He wasn't sure if Jude had eggs. He thought that there were still red pepper flakes in Jude's cupboard from the last time that he made it.
"It sounds like a really good dinner. I'm sure it'll be a great birthday. Is he going to be twenty-one or twenty-two?"
"Twenty-one. He's a little younger than I am."
"So you're in the grocery store now?"
"Yes. Almost done. And then I'm going to bike to his house and we'll have dinner and watch a movie or something. Just have fun."
"I won't keep you too long then. I hope you have a great night and tell Jude 'happy birthday' for me, okay?"
"I will."
"I love you, Connor."
"You too, Dad."
Connor hung up his cell phone and slid it back into his pocket. He quickly finished up his shopping and then went through the self-checkout. It was a lot less nerve wracking. Connor had been doing really well today, he thought, though he knew that it was also because he had kept himself in a little bubble, only doing things that he knew wouldn't stress him out. He didn't want to have a breakdown on Jude's birthday. He could have a breakdown tomorrow instead.
Connor carried his groceries out to his bike. He had also purchased a bike basket earlier that day, for the specific purpose of being able to carry his groceries to Jude's. He packed them all in carefully, pleased when he discovered that he wouldn't have to put anything in his backpack for the ride to Jude's. Connor put his helmet on and unlocked his bike, quickly pedalling down the street. He had given himself most of the afternoon to cook for Jude, just to make sure that he got it right. Jude got home at seven and Connor wanted to have everything perfect when Jude walked in his door.
Connor didn't go straight to Jude's apartment, though. He knew that he nearly had to – some of his groceries would go bad – but he made a quick stop at Jude's work. Even though he had a key, even though Jude had already told him, several times, that it was fine for Connor to go in, Connor just wanted to see Jude first.
Jude was putting chips on a shelf when Connor walked in. Connor was nervous about walking in too, though. What if Jude was busy? He didn't want to interrupt Jude's work day or get him in trouble when he had things to do. But Connor was the only person inside who wasn't an employee.
"Hey!" Jude said. "What are you doing here? Did your key not work?"
"N-n-no, I'm, um, just on my way over now. I j-j-just wanted to see you before I did."
"You're allowed in, I promise," Jude whispered.
"How rude? You're not going to introduce us?"
Jude's shoulders slumped while Connor shied to the side at the loud voice.
"Connor, this is my co-worker, Jason. Jason, this is my boyfriend, Connor."
Jason was tall and clean-shaven, with a rounded belly. His arms and neck were incredibly thick, and he leant on the counter with a smug nonchalance that made Connor take a step back. Even though Jude wasn't a mean person, Connor had always thought, on some level, that there was a splash of bias in Jude's dislike for Jason. But there was something about the other man that made Connor bristle. Arrogance was off-putting.
"You're not ugly," Jason said.
Connor wasn't sure whether or not he was supposed to say 'thank you' to that or not. He bit his lip and stayed silent. He didn't think it was a compliment.
"So why are you dating him?"
Connor didn't like the way that Jason sneered about Jude. Jude wasn't the one bursting into other people's conversations or calling other people's relationships into question. What did it matter what he looked like anyway? (Except that was the reason Jude talked to you in the first place.) But the point was, what did it matter to Jason? Jason wasn't even Jude's friend. Before Jude could even open his mouth, Connor said, "Because I like him." He looked at Jude, and his bristle calmed. He wasn't good at being angry. Softly, his eyes on Jude, he murmured, "Who wouldn't?"
Jude's smile was beautiful. Connor looked down as Jude linked their hands and squeezed.
"I'll see you later, okay, Jude?"
"Yeah. I should be home by ten after at the latest."
Connor nodded and slipped out the door. He didn't want to look back at Jason, and so he didn't. He put his helmet back on, even just for the short bike back to Jude's, and then he took off down the street. He walked his bike down the hill to Jude's door, and his hands were shaking as he fished for the key. He dropped it twice before he managed to put it into the lock and open the door. The front door swung inward and Connor just stared into the depths of Jude's apartment. It took three deep breaths for him to start unpacking the groceries. He put the bags on the counter and then locked his bike to Jude's deck. Finally, he pulled the key out, shut the door, and locked it. He had to check that it was locked several times over. He didn't trust himself to lock it properly. He didn't want anything to happen when he was here.
Finally, he unpacked the groceries and hid the small present he'd gotten for Jude. He knew where to put most things in Jude's cupboards and it surprised him a little how at home he felt standing in Jude's apartment. He was happy here. Happy enough and comfortable enough to let his phone softly start playing music. He picked out his mother's favourite song to start with, and then he pulled out the cake ingredients. He needed to get the cake in the oven as soon as possible so that it could cool by the time he needed to put icing on it. Also, he definitely needed the oven for the shrimp alfredo bake. Connor kept a careful eye on the time as he worked. Everything needed to be perfect for hen Jude came home. Perfect.
While the cake was cooking, he found the few birthday decorations that he had bought. He was far too embarrassed to make a huge deal out decorations and things, because there was always that lingering insecurity of what if Jude didn't like it? It was Jude's birthday. He didn't want to do a single thing that his boyfriend wouldn't like. But Jude liked small little details, and so Connor hung a colourful 'happy birthday' sign on the wall above Jude's bookshelf and he took the birthday tablecloth that he'd bought. He took clear tape and taped the cloth down so it wouldn't just slide off Jude's counter. He made sure it was wrinkle-free, and then he had to trot back into the kitchen to take the cake out of the oven.
It was beautiful. It looked better than he had hoped it would. He'd found a white cake recipe that had sprinkles baked into it and he thought that it would go well with the chocolate hazelnut icing he was trying. He liked the look of the rainbow sprinkles in the cake and he really did think Jude would too. He slid the cake onto a large plate to cool and went about making the frosting. The Alfredo bake, while having a lot of different components didn't actually take that long and so he needed to time it absolutely perfectly. If he started by quarter after six, it should be ready for Jude as soon as he got home.
Connor slid the icing in the fridge and did the small amount of prep work that the Alfredo bake required. Then, he stopped and looked around. He had some time before he had to do anything else and he had no idea what to do with himself. He crept to the doorway of the kitchen and just stood there. Coming to Jude's apartment to cook his birthday dinner for him was the reason that Connor was here. It was what Connor had been given permission to do at Jude's. He had never mentioned doing anything else to Jude, because Connor hadn't thought he'd have any spare time. He should have known better. He should have realized that he always over-budgeted his time in case something went wrong. To be late was to be worse than to be early, although right on time was always the goal.
Connor took a hesitant step out of the kitchen and then drew his foot back. He knew he was being ridiculous. Jude wouldn't care if he sat on the couch and watched T.V. It was something that Connor would be allowed to do if Jude were here. He didn't think it was quite so different now. Jude wasn't like that. It still took Connor sixteen minutes to get to the couch. Even then, he just tucked his legs up and started at the blank T.V. screen. He was allowed to touch the T.V. remote! Jude let him change channels and pick shows! It shouldn't be a big deal. Connor knew that. But his hands trembled a little and Connor thought about how he didn't want to be on edge for Jude's birthday at all, and so he rested his head against the armrest. He didn't really have that much more time before he had to get back up anyway. He should just relax.
He turned his head and stared at Jude's bookshelf and dresser. Connor wondered if he were a different person, would he snoop around in Jude's things? Objectively, Connor could see the appeal. Personally, the thought made Connor feel a little sick. It would be a violation of Jude and his trust, and that was the absolute last thing that Connor wanted to do to Jude. Other than that, Connor knew that he just flat out wouldn't be able to do it. He'd likely end up having a nervous breakdown. Connor looked away from the dresser and snuggled into the couch. Jude trusted him. He trusted Jude. And sometimes secrets were better kept. Connor knew that too well.
He watched the time very carefully and he was up off the couch the moment the clock turned to six. He checked the cake and the frosting and determined that they were ready to go. He quickly set up a little spot on the counter, wishing that Jude owned a cake platter. He was worried that by leaving the cake on its current surface, he wouldn't get the icing to spread as evenly as he wanted to. He didn't think that Jude would mind. Connor just needed to make sure that his icing was extra good in order to make up for the flaw.
He transferred the slightest bit onto the tip of his finger and tasted it. He thought it was good, but it wasn't as if his opinion mattered. Jude's opinion as the one that mattered. Connor put his music back on and hummed along as he started icing the cake. He should have known it would take him too long. Jude was going to be seeing it and his perfectionist tendencies were out in full force today. He had to interrupt himself to start doing some work on the shrimp dish. It was quarter to seven, not long before Jude was expected home, when the doorknob rattled. Connor froze in the kitchen. Could Jude have been able to get out of work early? No, he couldn't! Connor wasn't ready for him!
The door swung open. "Thanks, Melanie!"
A woman.
"You're welcome."
Two women.
A pretty woman with dark brown hair, wearing black pants and an Anchor Beach sweatshirt walked through the door. Her dark eyes landed on Connor and for a moment, they just stared at her. If her sweatshirt hadn't given Connor enough clues, her eyes sealed it, and Connor's gaze flickered to the bookshelf.
Callie.
He could see in her eyes that she was wracking her brain, trying to figure out who he was. But she would have no idea. Connor didn't expect that to sting as much as it did. He knew Jude hadn't told his family yet. And it should have been fine. Connor couldn't help but think that his father knew all about Jude, more than Adam was probably comfortable with, and that Connor's ex had hidden his existence for years. It was wrong to compare. Stef and Lena knew about him; Stef and Lena knew him. But Callie didn't. Callie, who was so important that it left Connor scared to meet her.
And now, here she was. Connor didn't do well with the unexpected, but this was beyond unexpected.
"You're not Jude," she said.
Connor shook his head while saying, "You're Callie."
Callie stared at him. "Who are you?"
"Oh! C-C-Connor."
She put her bag down by Jude's bed. "What are you doing here?"
"D-d-d-dinner. F-f-for his b-b-b-birthday.'"
"Are you two friends?" Callie asked carefully, slowly walking toward Connor.
Connor felt like shrinking away from her. She wasn't scary, necessarily, but she was commanding. "Yes! Well, no. Um. He is … Um, we … we are … He's … I'm … I'm his … We're … d-d-dating. I'm … I'm his … b-b-b-boyfriend."
Callie was smirking at him, though it wasn't smug, it was more of an expression of disbelief. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Um, s-s-sorry, I have t-t-to f-f-finish this."
"No, go ahead. I'll just sit here." Callie slid into one of the stools at the counter. "How long have you known Jude?"
"Since September," Connor said quietly. He checked on the shrimp in the oven and stirred the Alfredo sauce.
"How did you meet?"
"W-we h-have a, um, class." Connor looked over his shoulder and Callie had her eyes narrowed,
"Let me guess, his mythology course."
"Y-y-y-yes."
"Jude's spoken very highly of that class. He told me that he had a great professor."
"Kroger is great," Connor said. "They are a very good professor."
"Hmm," was all Callie had to say about that. "What are you making?"
"Oh. It's a Shrimp Alfredo bake. It's Jude's favourite. He asked me to make it. And then I have a rainbow sprinkle cake with ch-ch-chocolate hazelnut icing. H-he di-didn't h-h-have any … any, um, thing, um specific ab-bout the c-c-cake ex-except, um, the … chocolate. So, um, I d-d-decided to try something, um, th-that I th-thought h-he w-would l-l-like."
"Chocolate hazelnut icing?" Callie repeated, and Connor nodded. "That sounds really good."
Connor's hands were shaking as he moved the shrimp from the tinfoil where they'd been cooking to the mix of sauce and pasta and everything else. He topped it with a heavy dose of cheese, checked the time, and then slid it in the oven. Everything would be perfect when Jude got home. He quickly went back to icing the cake. Jude would be home soon. It had be done by the time that Jude came home.
"What time is Jude supposed to be back?"
"Oh. S-s-even."
Callie checked her phone and Connor watched her, mildly fascinated by her. She tucked a strand of medium-length brown hair behind her ear. He could see Jude in her – could see their shared parent – but he was also aware of their differences, right off the bat. Of course, they weren't the same person, and Connor couldn't expect them to be.
"Jude's never mentioned you," Callie said.
"Oh. I-I-I-I kn-know. Um."
"Usually he'd talk to me."
"Oh. Um, no. Not … Not about y-y-you. I was n-n-nervous."
"You seem a little nervous."
Connor shrugged and slowly turned the cake, checking his icing job. Everything looked even, and Connor put the knife he'd been using back in the bowl. He only had a few minutes before Jude was expected home. He pulled out the two bottles of sprinkles he'd purchased. The rainbow one was fairly depleted, having been baked into the cake, but Connor knew there'd be enough left to do the decorating that he wanted.
"Are you done with the frosting?" Callie asked, and Connor nodded.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her start to stretch. It felt like it was moving in slow motion and, even though it wasn't really heading for him, Connor still flinched. Immediately, Callie recoiled.
"I just thought I could try the frosting if you were done."
"Oh!" Connor picked up the bowl, his hands shaking so badly that the utensils inside rattled against the dish and each other. He offered it to Callie who took it slowly. He didn't know if she was more aware than he wanted her to be or if she was just slightly fearful, but she took great pains to not touch him as she took it. "I h-h-h-hope y-y-you l-l-like it."
Connor bent over the cake, moving quickly to ring the edge of the cake in rainbow sprinkles. Then, he took the mix of chocolate and vanilla sprinkles he'd also bought and wrote "21" in the centre of the cake. He'd put the candles on when they were closer to serving. He tucked the cake into one of his own containers than he'd brought over, not wanting to let dust or an odd fly onto it. He opened the oven to double check the Alfredo bake, and he heard a key in the door.
Jude.
Connor's heart leapt and the strong bolt of happiness was so foreign that he felt disoriented.
"Baby, I'm home!"
"Hi, baby," Callie drawled.
"Callie! What are you doing here?!"
"Well, I came to surprise my little brother on his birthday!"
Connor pulled the Alfredo bake out of the oven and sat it on the stovetop. He took the oven mitts off and turned to watch Jude wrap Callie in a hug.
"I'm surprised," Jude said.
"Me too!" she responded, looking over her shoulder and meeting Connor's eyes. "I was expecting to find you here."
"Oh, this is my boyfriend, Connor."
"He said."
"Well, I'd hope so." Connor stared at Jude, and Jude grinned cheekily back at him. Connor smiled, reassured.
He turned his back to Jude and Callie and got out three plates. He hoped that Callie liked shrimp. He heard footsteps approaching him and he glanced over his shoulder. Jude put his arm carefully around Connor's waist and kissed his cheek.
"What did you make me?"
"What you asked for."
"I meant the cake," Jude said. "You were going to surprise me with that."
"It's really good," Callie teased.
"Callie's had some of my cake?!" Jude rested his chin on Connor's shoulder. "Now you need to tell me."
"Callie didn't have cake, but it is really good. I hope. I want you to like it."
Jude kissed his cheek again, which helped calm Connor's anxiety. "I know I'll love it. I always like what you make."
"You have so far," Connor corrected quietly.
"And don't worry, I'll love this too. Is there anything that I can do to help?"
"No, no. It's your birthday, Jude. I'll make up plates." Connor turned his head to look at Jude. "And I don't think Callie drove here to watch you talk to me."
"Well, since Callie didn't know you had a boyfriend, Jude," she started, and Connor's heart restricted, even though he could tell that Callie wasn't seriously angry.
"Hey, hey," Jude said, slinking away from Connor to sit next to Callie. "I was going to tell you, soon. But this is new, Callie. I only told Moms because I tell them everything."
"Moms know!" Callie playfully punched Jude in the shoulder and Connor looked away sharply.
Connor found a large spoon and started scooping equal portions onto the plates.
"Hey, Connor, when you went grocery shopping, did you happen to get the rolls I like?"
"Yeah, of course I did. It's your birthday, Jude." Connor pulled the bag out and put a roll on each plate. He got the butter out of Jude's fridge and placed it behind the sink, close to the stools. Then, he put out the silverware and then handed out the plates. Callie smiled at him as he did so, but Connor could tell that she was still unsure about him.
That was okay. Connor was still unsure about her too.
He was happy that Jude sat in the middle.
"I've been waiting all day for this," Jude said, buttering his roll. "Connor's an amazing cook."
"It's nice to know something about him," Callie grumbled.
"Be nice," Jude warned.
It was a real warning and Connor tried to curl in on himself. It was impossible to do, sitting at the counter like that, but he still wanted to curl into a ball. He hadn't meant to ruin Jude's birthday. If he were just a little different, then today would be too.
"Jude," Callie started.
"He's not the one who showed up uninvited," Jude continued.
"Are you saying you don't want me here?" Callie asked.
"Don't put words in my mouth," Jude said. "Connor means a lot to me and you mean a lot to me. He's playing nice. Play nice back. Callie, you knowing him means a lot to me."
Connor shifted uncomfortably, and then he felt Jude's hand against the top of his thigh.
"I thought I was playing nice!" Callie insisted. She peered at Connor around Jude and Connor's breath caught as he looked back at her. "You caught me off-guard. Sorry if I came across as harsh."
"It's okay," Connor said. "Really. I understand."
Jude was looking at him and Connor knew that Jude saw through him. He didn't think it was okay, necessarily, but he did understand. It was his fault and Connor could accept that. Connor knew that. A silence settled over them. Connor didn't feel brave enough to speak and Jude was busy ripping open his roll to butter it. Connor watched Callie toy with her fork for a moment and then she dove into the Alfredo Bake. He anxiously waited for her reaction. Like baseball, cooking was one of those things that he had developed an expectation of being good at it. It wasn't as engrained as baseball was, since not as many people had complimented his cooking, but this was also his mother's recipe, and Connor needed Callie to like it.
"Jude was right, Connor. This is really good."
Callie smiled at him, which made Jude smile, and so Connor let a small grin creep onto his face. "Thank you, Callie."
"So," Jude said, "now that you know about my boyfriend, time to tell me, Callie."
"Tell you what?"
Even Connor could tell that she was hiding something.
"The reporter?"
"He's cute and I don't want to jinx it." Callie rapped her knuckles on the counter. "How'd you know about that, anyway?"
"Mariana and Moms mentioned it."
Callie rolled her eyes. "Of course they did."
Connor picked at his food, listening to Callie and Jude talk about their family. Every so often, Callie would ask something of him, and he would respond immediately. He noticed that he'd stopped stuttering in front of her since Jude had gotten home and he was glad. He didn't need Callie to think that he was an idiot on top of everything else. When the dinner dishes were clear, Connor poked Jude's shoulder.
"Hmm?"
"Are you still hungry for cake? Or do you want to wait?"
"I've been waiting a week for this cake. Let's have it now." Jude rubbed his fingers across Connor's leg. "I'm excited and I'm sure it's going to be great."
"Okay."
Connor gathered up the supper dishes and put them away in the dishwasher. He put out smaller plates for the cake along with new forks.
"Does anyone need anything else to drink while I'm up?" Connor asked. They'd just been sipping water all evening.
"Oh. Jude, I brought you some coolers. It's your twenty-first, so I figured you should have a drink. Even though it's not your first drink."
Jude chuckled. "Thanks, Callie."
Callie hopped off her stool and went over to the bag she'd abandoned, pulling out a four-pack of coolers. "Would you like one, Connor? They're all tropical flavoured."
"Oh, no thank you."
"Connor doesn't drink," Jude added.
Callie shrugged, having no reaction one way or another. "More for us, I guess."
Connor turned his back on the siblings and he carefully lifted his cake out of the container. It looked the same as when he put it in, though he had an irrational fear that it wouldn't. He retrieved the candles and the newly bought lighter. He pressed the candles carefully into the cake – he'd just bought a pack of ten to ring around the cake and he hoped Jude wouldn't be too disappointed with the lack of candles. He lit them carefully and turned around, the cake balanced in his hands.
"Happy birthday, Jude!" he said brightly. He hoped Callie wouldn't launch into song, but when he glanced at her, she seemed just as disinterested in singing as he was.
"Happy birthday, Jude!" she repeated.
Connor put the cake down in front of Jude. "Make a wish."
Jude's dark brown eyes met his own, then Jude bent over the cake, putting out all the candles in one breath.
"What did you wish for?" Callie asked.
"I can't tell you or it won't come true!"
Connor handed a knife to Jude, watching as he first squared it up to cut the cake, and then he looked up at Connor. "Come back over here, baby, come sit with us. It's not right for me to cut it without you."
Connor looped back around to sit in his stool. "It's your cake."
"You made it. And it looks awesome."
Jude carefully measured out his slice and transferred it onto his plate. Then, he cut a slice for Connor, and a slice to Callie.
"What happened to ladies first?" Callie teased.
"Chefs first," Jude responded.
"Birthday boy first," Connor responded. "Jude? Will you try it now?"
"Absolutely!" Jude dug his fork into the side, scraping off large amounts of icing and cake and forking it in his mouth. He stopped, savoured it for a moment, and then took an even bigger bite. "I love it!"
"You're not just saying that?"
"No. I promise."
Connor touched his fingers to Jude's wrist softly.
"Try it, you deserve it."
"He's right, Connor."
Connor shied at Callie's voice. Caught up in Jude's eyes, it was easy to forget that there was anything else in the world. Jude was safe ground and an escapist fantasy.
"It really is a good cake," Callie finished.
"Thank you."
"Try it yourself," Jude said. "Go on, it's okay."
Connor put his fork in his cake and took his own bite. Immediately, criticisms jumped to the forefront of his brain and he thought of everything that he could have done differently to make it a lot better. Then he looked at Jude. Jude loved it and it was Jude's birthday and Jude liking his birthday dinner was all that mattered to him. Connor just had to remember to keep it in mind.
Jude took a sip of his cooler and Connor checked the alcohol percentage. It wasn't much at all and, even if Jude drank both of them, Connor didn't worry. Connor knew that he shouldn't worry about Jude anyway.
"So, Connor?"
"Yes?" Connor leant so that he could see Callie.
"Are you coming to Jude's birthday weekend? Is that when we're supposed to meet you?"
"Oh, I, um … I hadn't d-d-decided, um, yet."
Callie watched him sharply. She and Jude had such similar eyes but there was something a lot more pointed in her gaze. She made him feel more like a specimen than anything.
"I think you should come."
"You do?"
The surprise in his voice made her laugh.
Connor ducked his head, feeling warmed as if she'd given him the compliment of a lifetime. Jude tapped his wrist and when Connor glanced at him, there were a thousand questions in his eyes.
"Happy birthday," Connor repeated, and he kissed Jude's cheek softly.
Connor spent the next hour with Jude and Callie, allowing it to slowly pass by. Jude had two large slices of cake and one small slice. Callie had tickled his belly, teasing him, but Jude was swift to defend Connor's cooking and point out Callie's large second piece. Connor was glad that they enjoyed his food and he packed the dishes away into the dishwasher. He made sure the kitchen was clean while Jude and Callie talked, but they both kept him in the conversation, and Connor didn't have a chance to feel lonely.
"I think I should go," he finally said. Callie came all the way down here to spend quality time with her brother and Connor didn't want to take that from her.
"Are you sure?" Jude asked. "It's not that late."
"I didn't get much homework done today," Connor admitted. "I want to be prepared for class tomorrow."
"Okay. Let me walk you out to your bike."
"Bye, Connor. It was nice meeting you!"
"You too, Callie," Connor said and he tucked his shoes on. He slipped out the front door, Jude on his heels. The moment the front door was closed, the dam that Connor had been trying to keep around his anxieties flooded open. "Did you really like your birthday, Jude? I was so worried that you wouldn't because I –"
"Connor?"
"What?"
"I'm going to kiss you now."
"Okay."
And Connor leant into Jude's embrace. Jude's kiss was strong and full. Connor wrapped his arms fully around Jude and pulled him closer. Jude kissed Connor's forehead.
"Baby, my birthday was perfect. I hope Callie didn't scare you too much."
"She didn't," Connor said. "I mean, when she walked in … I … almost died a little, I think."
"So, what was that about you coming this weekend? I thought you didn't want to?"
"Callie said … she'd like it if I came."
"Don't let my sister dictate your life. It's annoying, trust me."
"No, but, Callie was one of the big reasons that I was so scared and I … like her, Jude. I didn't think I would or that she wouldn't like me or that there would be something else there. Something bigger. But if she's okay … if I'm okay with her, then, you know … maybe, maybe if this wasn't so bad then everything else won't be either."
"Connor, I want you to want to go."
"I know." Connor looked up at the night sky and took a breath. "Honestly?"
"Honestly," Jude repeated.
"I want to go. I really want to go. But I was scared. There were too many things to be scared of. And I don't want to ruin your birthday weekend for you, and I am still scared of that. But now I'm looking at it like … the scariest part is over. I know Callie and I know your moms. And I know Taylor and I know you and … I trust you, Jude. I know you want me there and I know that I want to be there."
Jude's face was blooming into a bright grin. "So … you want to come this weekend?"
"I … would I be able to think about it for the night?"
"Of course. I'm still going to classes tomorrow because we have a midterm review in health psych. So you can just let me know tomorrow what you think."
"Okay. That sounds good to me." Connor squeezed Jude's hand. "Promise you thought it was a good birthday?"
Jude wrapped his arms around Connor again and Connor took comfort in the embrace.
"Baby, it was the best birthday. I loved it. I promise."
"Will you kiss me again?"
"Absolutely."
Jude kissed him much more softly this time, but Connor liked it just as much. "Do you really like she likes me? I feel like she does but I don't know if I just want her to."
"She likes you. She's just being Callie. I promise." Jude pecked his nose. "But I should head back in there before she pokes her head out."
"Oka. Have a good night."
"You too."
Jude kissed him one more time. "Text me when you get home safe."
"I will."
Jude headed back inside and Connor unlocked his bike to ride away. He had a lot to think about.
The chapter's title is after the song Forests by Duologue (reader recommended). If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)
So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.
~TLL~