Apparently the new season is starting... (the sheer lack of enthusiasm in my heart deeply saddens me)

"Boss, is this really necessary?" Tony asked Gibbs as he paid furtive glances at his partner. She's sleeping soundlessly on the passenger seat of an unmarked van. It was parked a few blocks away from his apartment, not too far to tire anyone from carrying a fully grown unconscious female, yet not too near to draw attention to the happenings inside his humble abode.

Gibbs edged closer, giving his senior field agent his famous stare. "DiNozzo, how do you think she would've reacted if we told her that the bastard that threatens to bomb a city and kill her aunt already has her?"

Tony's jaw clenched tightly. "Shit. They got to her?"

"Shmiel is working on getting her back. What we are doing right now, these are merely precautions." Gibbs said. "We cannot have another Ilan Bodnar on our hands."

Honestly, with the way Ziva's mind is going, having another Ilan Bodnar scenario would probably be the best case scenario. "I understand that part, but this?" He gestured at his partner's limp form, frustrated at his inability to control the situation in a less crude manner. He strapped her seatbelts on, using all his might to do so as gently as he could. "This is all we could do?"

The bossman placed his jacket above Ziva's shoulder, kissed her temple, and muttered something on her ear before replying sternly to his other agent, "He's using people she cares about to get to her, Tony. We can't let her roam around facing danger head on… just to protect them."

The boss has a point, and he gets that. He really does. But it doesn't make the situation feel any better. He heaved a sigh. "Yeah, I get that, but—."

"Ziva won't think twice giving up her life to protect someone important to her." No matter how calm and collected Gibbs seemed from the outside, Tony could tell that his boss hates the situation as much as he does. "And no matter how noble that sounds, or no matter how I would very much do the same if I was in her shoes, I am not losing another daughter."

Those words caught Tony off guard, but he tried not to let it show. "Okay."

"Good." Gibbs handed his service weapon and badge back to him. "You left this on your desk earlier."

Tony reluctantly grabbed his stuff from Gibbs. "She'd kill me when she wakes up."

All he got was a smirk from his boss. "She'll get over it."

Sure, but that would take time. He might be long dead by then. "If I don't turn up at work one of these days, will you do me a favour and check any bodies of water for my corpse?"

Gibbs eyed him warily.

"You can rule out the Potomac, though." Tony said his face serious. "Ziva loves that place so much; she wouldn't dare use my corpse to taint it."

His boss tilted his head and glared at him. "DiNozzo."

The humour on Tony's face vanished completely at Gibbs' tone. "We should have told her."

Gibbs sighed. "Roles reversed, and it is Senior on Nettie's shoes, what would you have done?"

Tony opened his mouth, but closed it again when his brain found absolutely nothing to say.

"Exactly."

"Just take her to the place I told you about, okay?" Gibbs handed this senior agent the car keys, as well as a small duffel bag. "Let me take care of the rest."

The music went on just as Tony revved the car. It started playing a jazz song which was too familiar for his liking, but he could not bring himself to turn it off. He kept on making furtive glances at his unconscious partner, half expecting her to be awakened by the not so smooth ride they're currently having (the van's fault, not his).

With his luck, maybe she'd start screaming bloody murder before they could even reach halfway towards their destination. But the more reasonable part of his brain tells him that she's completely knocked out, and she will probably stay that way for the next ten to sixteen hours.

A muffled voice of an old man was the first thing Ziva heard the following day. Wanting to sleep more, she blindly grabbed for a pillow and covered her ear. The scent of the pillow was familiar. Too familiar…

Crap.

Ziva woke up with a start, and she immediately regretted it for she almost fell from the queen-sized bed she was lying on. It is a good thing that her reflexes have not completely failed her yet, regardless of how muddled her mind was. With gritted teeth, she lied back down and cursed silently in Hebrew. Her vision was blurry as hell, but judging the amount of light that passes through the window on her right, she could tell that it's about noon.

The voice went on. By this time, Ziva was sure it was from a television. Because there is no way in hell Bogart would be talking to himself in the next room. God, she's so drowsy. She was about to zone out again when her partner's overly jovial tone that yanked her out of her stupor.

"Mornin' sunshine!" Tony greeted her cheerfully. He offered her a glass of water, "Thirsty?"

Ziva, who still seemed a bit confused about the situation, shook her head weakly. "What—"

"Alrighty, then. If you won't drink this, I will." He took a huge gulp, and the fluid hasn't reached his throat yet when he heard Ziva's surprisingly loud realization slice through the room.

"You knocked me up."

Water spluttered out of Tony's lips as soon as her words sunk into his brain. He coughed, and coughed once more, and tried to breathe slowly. Closing his eyes, he urged his brain to go to a more peaceful place where he has not fathered any children out of wedlock. He failed. He always uses protection. And he never—

Back up for a second.

Tony sighed in relief as comprehension came. Not that he had not considered that thing happening in the future. He sure had thought of that. Multiple times, in fact. But that's a topic for another day. Right now he has more pressing matters to get into. Like how to survive this day facing Ziva's wrath.

"You knocked me up." She repeated, as if she could not believe her own words.

"Word's 'knock out', not 'knock up'." Tony grinned. "If I knocked you up, I would have made complete documentation of the whole 'knocking' process." He made imaginary apostrophes in the air for emphasis. He tried mustering a wistful look. "Imagine all the naughty things we could have done."

She did not seem to get his joke.

"Anyway, the food's ready, and before you kill me, could we please have a peaceful meal first?" He offered her a friendly smile, extracting her from the covers.

Ziva ran a hand through her unruly curls. She remembers being angry at him for drugging her. Honestly, she's still not over being angry. But even her own brain is rejecting the notion of confronting him mere minutes after waking up. Her mind's still not up for engaging in such complex task. It'd take too much energy. He made her miss her window anyway. The plane she's supposed to give her a life has long been gone. And she haven't even seen a cup of coffee yet. "What time is it? Where are we?"

"Away. Somewhere far." He replied. "Where you could rest that little injury of yours without interruptions of let's say, a suicide mission." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "I changed your bandages by the way, if you don't mind."

Her eyes widened. "You did not."

"Oh, I did."

She opened her mouth, but closed it again when no words came out. He grinned.

"Good." He told her. "Let's go. The food's not gonna eat itself."

"Why did you do it?" She finally asked as Tony cleared the last of the plates. They spent the entire meal in an awkward silence, which is not typical whenever you are dining with a DiNozzo.

"Change your bandages? What do you mean 'why'? They're due to be changed." The innocent look he gave her did not mask the slight tensing of his fingers onto the plate he was drying. "Don't worry, it was done so very sexily, it would pass as a movie scene. You know, after that big gun fight and the hero brings his injured flame back into a shady hotel room, patching her up in a very movie-esque manner, and with only a small candlelight to guide him?"

"Tony—"

"Well, I did not exactly use a candle. Too caveman for my taste." He said with a shrug. Talk about being hypocritical. "Not that they use candles then. 'Coz that would be weird."

She doesn't really care about those godforsaken bandages. "Tony, why?"

He cocked his head. In the outside, he looked relaxed and back to this usual jokester self, but in the inside, all he wanted to do was shove himself in a shoe box and never come out. "Why what?

"Why did you drug me?"

"You know what, that's a very good idea." He said to her. It was as if he did not hear her question at all. "Let's get you back to bed so you could rest some more."

"I have already slept for hours!" Ziva replied, eyes shimmering with exasperation. "I believe that I have been considerably gracious about this whole ordeal during our breakfast, considering what you have done to me last night—."

"Woah, there. I did not… We didn't—" He began, turning around to face his partner. He thought of trying another attempt at humor, but the look on her face had effectively pushed all the jokes forcefully back to his throat.

Ziva went on, ridding him of the plate in his hands, which at that point was already too dry for any further wiping. "Now, you are going to explain to me what's going on, or I am going to start being very mad at you."

Tony swiped the plate back, putting it inside the drawer where it came from. "Can I just say sorry, and leave it at that?"

She glared at him. "You think a simple sorry will cut it? You drugged me, you bastard!"

He pushed the drawer shut with more force than necessary. "No." He snapped. "But right now, just rest okay?"

"You do not want to talk? Fine! Where is my phone?" She hobbled towards the bedroom, scouring every inch of it for her goddamn phone. Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and followed her.

"You won't find it there."

Ziva's patience was wearing thin, but she did not stop looking. She pressed on, "Then where is it?"

"Let Gibbs deal with it, okay?" Tony said, obviously not talking about her absent phone. His eyes followed her every move. "He'll be here when it's done."

"Done?" Ziva irately threw the one of the pillows back on the bed and approached him. "And what do you all expect me to do here, huh? Twiddle my thumbs while the monster who wants to kill my aunt is out there?"

"You're wounded." Tony replied, trying so hard not to get angry, but failing at it.

"This," Ziva began, gesturing at her thigh, "is nothing. Tony, do you have any idea how much worse I—"

Tony took a calming breath. "This is not a competition on who's got the bigger wound, Ziva."

She gritted her teeth and returned to the kitchen. She muttered scathingly, "easy for you to say."

"This guy wants you dead." Tony would not give up until she sees reason. "What do you expect me to do? Let you offer yourself up like a lamb for slaughter?"

"That is exactly the point!" Ziva gestured wildly. "He would not stop until he gets to me, so why not use it against him?"

"Injured or not, that's not a good idea and you know it." Tony doesn't care if he sounded like a selfish bastard, but his decision is final. Ziva will stay put where it is safe—where that psycho could not reach her.

"That is it! I am leaving." Ziva limped towards the door, and yanked it open. What she saw outside almost made her want to do a double take. What the—

Tony smiled guiltily at her. "Is it too late for me to greet you aloha?"

"Hawaii?" Ziva was so gobsmacked, she was lucky to even get a single word out. "You brought me to Hawaii?"

"Vance helped." Tony admitted. "We took a C-130 at Andrews. Flew straight here."

She still could believe what was happening. "You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm a funny person, Ziva. But none of my jokes have taken me overseas like this." Tony took the door knob from her, pulled her back inside, before closing the door shut. "Now sit."

Ziva was too overwhelmed to argue. "I take it that my passport and wallet, just like my phone, are mysteriously gone as well?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, because you and I both know that I'd trust you with my life." Tony said, sitting at a comfortable distance beside her. "It's just that, right now, I am not a hundred percent sure I can trust you with yours."

She closed her eyes, counted one to ten, and sighed. There's no good arguing with him. He would not listen to her anyway. "After this, we are through." Her voice remained calm, but the look she gave him is the most threatening look he'd seen on her. She's not just angry; she's downright livid. "We. Are. Through."

Tony expected her to say something along those lines, but hearing it for real made his heart clench painfully inside his chest. His throat burned. He pulled her face towards him with both hands, urging her to look at him. When she did, he murmured, "no, Ziva, we're not."

She pushed his hands away. It will be hard to hate him if he kept on looking at her like a wounded puppy. "Leave me alone."

"Okay," he replied, finally deciding that it was time to back off and give her some space. "But don't get any ideas about ditching me. I'm not letting you go that easy."

4-5 more chapters to go! Cheers to everyone who's been living vicariously through fanfictions!