The knock on his door was strange to hear in these human lands. By now, though, it was familiar despite the fact Bull only heard it twice before.
So she did come to him after all.
Heh, this was the first time a woman came to him for more before he showed her what he could to do first. First time a human woman came for him, to give him what he needed, rather than for what he could do for her. This was… new. He felt himself start to swell in his pants and swallowed.
"Come in!" he called out, much more gently than the first time they've met. He didn't want to scare her off before they even started talking.
Why was his heart beating so fast now? He felt like a boy holding a sword for the first time. She couldn't possibly get so close to him in such a short time, right? They knew each other for less than a month, for fuck's sake! He clenched his hand into a fist, feeling the old scars on his missing fingers pull taut.
The very idea that he could have someone he trusted and who trusted him back under his control… or even to let her control him…
The door opened to reveal Rush, carrying a small cloth satchel.
Now he was curious what she had planned. It would almost be worth it to let her do as she pleased, to see what she had planned.
"Good evening, Bull," she spoke quietly, but confidently. Was she so certain she knew what he will ask of her?
"Good evening, Rush," he replied, letting a bit of danger slip into his tone. He took several steps closer, with full knowledge of just how menacing he appeared, and saw her eyes turn… gentle?
To his surprise, she took a step closer to him too.
Humans didn't usually approach him when he pulled a stunt like that. Could she possibly handle him? The thought sent a spike of pure heat through his gut. He decided to speak, before they accidently rushed too far ahead to hold a conversation. Bull refused to start anything before she knew what she was getting into and he got her consent to proceed.
"So, listen," he began in the voice he rarely used now. Non-threatening, but serious and calm. "You asked me what I need, but I'm not sure if you know what you're asking. If you're ready for it." He gently put his hands on her slender shoulders, giving her a soft squeeze. She might not be as slim and breakable as an elf, but at this moment, he thought her fragile as glass.
She smiled up at him, but instead of lust, he still saw that damned kindness in her eyes, "I believe I am." With shock, he recognized her expression as one of his own. "But not in the way you expect."
"Oh?" He lifted an eyebrow, curious despite himself about what she had planned. She was too shy around non-hostiles to try anything too adventurous. So much so, in fact, that he was worried about pushing her boundaries just by having plain sex with her. What could she possibly plan to do that she felt the need to warn him about it?
She looked down at the satchel in her hands, and opened it to pull out… wait, was that horn balm?
Bull bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling. "Do you know what it is?" he asked her gently, trying not to laugh. What did she think it was, some kind of kinky Qunari lube?
"Horn balm," he stated plainly and looked at him with a calm, knowing look.
Bull lost his smile. His heart wrenched, then started beating fast and strong inside his chest. He swallowed. This… this was the damn blanket all over again.
He had no idea how to react, what to do. None of his training prepared him for this. For a human to treat him with respect and caring; to set her own needs aside to fulfill his.
Had she been Qunari, he would know the words to speak, the things to do, but… Rush was not.
Before he could decide, she took the matter into her own hands. She leaned in… and hugged him around the waist.
There was nothing sexual in that gesture. It was one of comfort and caring. It said, much louder than any words ever could, that everything will be alright. He swallowed again, and hugged her back.
They stood like that for several moments. Then Rush withdrew and Bull found he immediately missed her warmth.
"Come. Sit." She gently took one of his much larger hands into her own and led him to sit at the edge of his bed. Bull found himself obeying her without pause. She spoke with the voice eerily similar to that of a Tamassran, gentle but firm, and he knew better than to refuse a woman when she asked like that.
The moment he sat down, Rush placed her satchel next to him and opened the jar to scoop out a healthy amount of horn balm. He decided to simply watch her.
At the first touch of her small, gentle fingers on his horns, Bull closed his eye.
When he was assigned to Orlais, he thought that he'd never have this again, never have another care for him like his people did, unless he asked to be reassigned back to Seheron, back to his original duty. Most days, the comforts of his new role were good enough to override the pain, the way he still missed simple companionship with no hidden agendas. When he knew what everyone's duty was and could trust them to fulfill it.
Then he'd watch the people around him, the greed, selfishness and betrayals of those they professed they loved and found himself missing his people so much it hurt.
Because that was the point of this assignment, wasn't it?
The Ben-Hassrath did nothing without purpose, without a goal. Assigning him to play Tal-Vashoth was the best way to make sure he would never feel any desire to truly become one.
It worked. It worked for a long, long time. Until the moment he decided he had enough of following incompetents and the Bull's Chargers mercenary company was born. Until he commanded his own men, and found them just as good, just as worthy as the men who followed him, died for him back in Seheron.
The only thing Qunari had that the Orlesian didn't… were the Tamassrans. Those who speak.
He had no idea humans had them too.
Bull concentrated on the way her soft human hands spread the balm on his horns. Much harder than he would have expected her to, as most humans were scared of them, no matter how the foreign horns also excited them. Rush spread the balm on them as if they were just another part of his body. And just the way he liked it, too. Hard, but above all, caring. She was careful with the skin at the base, firm in the middle and teased the tips. Bull swallowed, but didn't move a muscle despite the desire now tenting his pants. No way will he miss a single second of this. Whatever this actually was.
When she stopped, he almost groaned with disappointment. He enjoyed her touch. Way more than he should.
Before he could turn around to get to the 'fun part' of the evening, Rush laid a hand on his shoulder. "Stay," she commanded in that damnably calm and certain voice that only made him harder, then picked up her satchel again.
She wiped her hands on a small piece of cloth, then pulled out… a bottle of massage oil. He closed his eye and swallowed a moan once again. Looked like she was not done with him yet. He didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed that they weren't going any further yet. His body settled on aroused, but he was nothing if not a patient man. His resolve was tested, though, when she all but sat on his lap to unbuckle his harness.
He breathed out, giving her control of the situation, releasing all the tension from his shoulders and let her do whatever she intended to. She laid his harness aside, went to sit behind him, warming some of the oil in her hands, then gently set her hands on his shoulders and applied pressure.
More pressure than she should be able to make.
He opened his eye curiously to look at the hand on his shoulder. It was just as pale and fragile looking as usual; the hand of a lady.
The same hand that used magic to lift and wield weapons too heavy for her to handle.
She paused, but didn't withdraw. Her hand rested on his shoulder and the extra pressure disappeared. He lifted his head to look at her, and found her watching him with a calm expression.
"Relax, Bull." She didn't back down, wouldn't look away even as he stared at her for what felt like an eternity.
This was magic. The thing every Qunari was afraid of. He was no exception to this rule, even if he allowed and welcomed mages among his men. They didn't use magic on him, after all. Yet Rush just did. He was not even truly surprised to realize he didn't mind it half as much as he should.
In fact, he realized with shock, he didn't mind it at all.
He made his decision and relaxed under her hands, turning to look up front again. He felt rather than saw her smile as she continued massaging his shoulders, applying pressure human hands weren't supposed to be capable of. Pressure bordering on pain, in just the right spots, kneading the knots of his muscle. Exactly what he needed.
Bull smiled to himself and wondered just how much her body could take. Now that he thought about it, he didn't see her injured yet, though he heard from Krem that she took the full brunt of a giant's hit right in the spine, was sent flying head first into a rock… and survived, not much worse for wear.
It made him wonder.
As her hands continued to work down his arms, he snorted to himself. 'Heh, I think like a human now, with nothing but sex on my mind'. He swallowed, feeling her so close to him, smelling the sweet combination of massage oil, horn balm and something else that must be Rush herself.
He invited her to his room for no other purpose than pleasure. But then again, she had found the purpose for him. He smiled faintly as her hands went back to his shoulders and continued working his muscles, far more relaxed now.
If the Ben-Hassrath knew how far he fell, how he found his own private little Qun with the Chargers, he'd be declared Tal-Vashoth on spot.
He interrupted her work by leaning back to rest his head on Rush's chest and smiled at the way his horns encompassed her body, too wide for her slender shoulders. She hesitated, then one of her hands gently rested on his cheek.
He closed his eye and, for the first time in his life, thought that being Tal-Vashoth might not be so bad.
-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-
It felt like hours later when Rush finally lifted her head, wiped the sweat off her brow and sat down heavily next to Bull's quietly sleeping form.
This was more exhausting than she expected. Both physically and mentally. There were several moments when she thought Bull would refuse to go along with her plans. Especially the moment when he realized she was using magic to give her hands more strength. But he eventually acquiesced to her silent request. Command. He let her move him around, lay him down on the bed and take care of his physical needs… in a manner of speaking.
When she tried to figure out what she could do for her Chief, how she could fulfill his needs, she had one thought that simply wouldn't leave her. He already had the sex part of his needs covered. No matter what she could do in that area, she couldn't do any more or better than all those serving girls or whoever else he slept with. If she wanted to help him, to show him she cared, she needed to find something else, something different. So she did.
And sex? That could come later. This was going a bit too fast for her anyway.
Her plan had been a bit uncertain, but thankfully it worked out just fine. She had been right to think Bull had no one to care for him. Not like this. As much as his men trusted him, they were still mercenaries and caring or, Maker forbid, nurturing, was not exactly part of their job descriptions. For some time, Bull had been tense and prepared for an attack, before he finally relaxed and let her do as she pleased. She ended up working the tension from his body as much as she could, but felt that she still failed.
There was just too much damage for a simple massage to fix. It made her heart hurt.
She was no healer, not by a long shot, but her skills as Knight-Enchanter allowed her to notice aberrations in the physical form. She had to know how bodies worked, if she wanted to manipulate her own to her advantage. The skills came in handy when spotting wounds, and the Iron Bull's body… was one big wound.
Nearly every bone in his body had been broken at some point, his insides carried weapon damage that should have killed him on spot, his skin and flesh were ravaged with old wounds and scars that surely still hurt. Every muscle in his body screamed with pain she noticed the moment she touched them.
It was a wonder their Chief could move at all, much less fight in this condition.
Her main regret right now was that she did not take the chance to learn healing at the Circle when she could. Had she learned, she might have been better prepared to help him… thought she had a feeling that no amount of healing would help Bull at this point. The damage simply went too deep.
But she was willing to learn, just to make it a little bit easier on his end. If not to fix him, then at least to make his life bearable.
She looked back at his sleeping form. He laid on this back, bare naked and deeply asleep. This time for real, it seemed. With a smile, she realized that she felt no need to look away or cover his nudity. She barely paused when she undressed him, and was not even surprised to see he wore no underwear. In fact, she almost expected him not to wear any.
Her eyes took in his powerful form, for the first time not as a healer, but as a woman.
He truly was… astounding. Strong. Muscular. He had the body of a true warrior, scars included. Her hand rose of its own to gently skim down his chest. She felt his deep breathing under her palm and moved her hand down to rest on his stomach.
He was softer here than anywhere else, she thought with a fond smile, no doubt due to all the ale and sweets she saw him eat during their travels. Instead of being put off, she found it strangely adorable. It made him more approachable than perfection ever could.
His thighs were next to be admired. Thicker and stronger than what she's seen on any other man. But then, as a mage, she had only ever seen other mages, who didn't have much muscle, nor any reason to build some up. The only warriors she knew were templars she wouldn't touch if they paid her… and the chevalier tutors from when she became a Knight-Enchanter. None of whom she ever saw naked.
She caressed the grey skin of his inner thigh and had to fight down a blush. There was just so much of him. In more ways than one. She swallowed and let herself watch his manhood as well. Bigger than any she'd ever seen, even flaccid as it was in his sleep. For a moment, she hesitated and wondered if she'll ever be ready to take him in fully. Will she need to use her skills in body manipulation to… make herself more… pliable?
She blushed harder at her own thoughts, but realized she wouldn't mind some minor body adjustments during sex, if it meant she could have all of him. If she could keep up with him as a lover.
She skimmed her hand down to rest on his calf and felt it tremble lightly, even asleep as he was. She kept her warm hand there, pushing magic into her palm to make it warmer, and felt the tremors ease a bit. 'It might be possible to heal this', she thought with a smile and gave his leg a gentle squeeze.
After a moment, she stood up with a small sigh and went to gather his blanket. While she wanted nothing more than to cuddle up next to his powerful body and fall asleep like that, today was… too much. She might have pushed too far, come closer to his heart than was wise, and she didn't want to push his boundaries more than she already had. Let him sleep, she thought, and if he was willing to accept this, accept them being closer than a one-night stand, to have a relationship, he will come back to her.
She covered him with blankets, gathered her things and went to sleep in her own room.
-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-
She sat down next to Stitches early in the morning next day and tried to find the best way to breach the topic of Bull's health. If she knew anything about healers, it was that they didn't like to talk about their patient's condition, and while Stitches might not have been a trained healer or even a surgeon, he was just as protective of their Chief as the rest of them.
Thankfully, Stitches started talking first, "So, how was your night with the Chief?" he asked her with a smile.
Rush looked at him incredulously. How did he know about them? The only one who she 'told' was Krem and he wouldn't share… Although, come to think of it, Dalish might have guessed too, as she saw her leaving with the horn balm yesterday. Rocky probably did as well. And Skinner…
She sighed, "I have a feeling that secrets don't stay secrets long around here," she commented dryly.
He grinned at her and took another spoon full of the porridge he ate every morning. How he could stand the bland grey sludge, she'll never understand. Maybe because it was 'healthy'. Well, so long as he didn't try to force it on her… "In a mercenary company as small as this and not busy with a job? You bet they don't. So, how did it go?"
She shook her head with a quiet chuckle. "Great, actually. But I wanted to talk to you about… well, about Bull's health."
Stitches lost his smile and concentrated on his porridge. "Ah." He sighed. "So you noticed, then."
"That his body is on the verge of falling apart? You bet I did." She was not sure how to ask, so she went ahead as tactfully as she could, "Is there any way I can help?"
"Not really," Stitches sighed and pushed his bowl away to give Rush his full attention. "I already give him the best poultices and potions I can, but… even those aren't quite enough to heal him anymore. The fact that he's technically a Reaver doesn't help either."
Her eyebrow rose in surprise, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"Reavers use pain to fight. Their own pain. That means that the more hurt they are, the stronger they get and the more damage they cause to their enemies." Stitches poked the porridge listlessly, "Chief… is in a lot of pain. All the time. So much so that he built his entire fighting style around it. But using pain in this way is very damaging, to himself even more than his enemies."
"How long has he been doing this?" Rush asked him quietly.
"Ever since I can remember." Stitches sighed, then continued, "I think he started… back during his old job, so it's been a while and he got used to it. Still, he's getting worse. I honestly don't know how long he can… keep this up."
Rush bowed her head. It was worse than she expected. If he regularly used his pain in combat… there was a good chance that even healing magic won't be able to help. Every single injury would be used to power up his attacks; his consciousness, the intent making it that much harder to heal. Almost impossible, in fact.
"Why would he choose this?" She was dismayed. As much as she wanted to help, it seemed she won't be able to. Bull was already set on this path, and has been for a long time. Now she knew why his battle roars back on the Storm Coast scared her so much - there was pain in them. Not only the promise of pain for his enemies, but his own as well.
"I think it was more of an unavoidable consequence than choice," Stitches added quietly. At her questioning look, he explained, "He still sometimes… defends, out of reflex. Us, mostly. I've known many warriors in my time and I know a Champion when I see one. He probably only became Reaver when he wasn't able to stand the hits a Champion could take anymore."
She raised her head, "So, it's possible to heal him and…" she paused.
Stitches only sighed. "You're welcome to try, Rush. But I honestly don't think anyone can heal him completely at this point."
Rush felt new determination rise within her. "Doesn't matter if I can't heal him completely. Every little bit helps. I'm still going to try."
The first thing she'll do when they get to the marketplace would be to find a tome of healing and learn how to heal properly. With her skills in body-manipulation as a Knight-Enchanter and some proper knowledge on healing, there was no way she could fail to help him.
Stitches smiled and took another spoonful of his porridge. "I wish you luck, then." He swallowed, then looked over at her pensively. "And if you learn to heal, maybe you can help me with stitching up our men sometimes. What do you say?"
Rush smiled back. "It would be my pleasure."
She settled in more comfortably, prepared to order her own food, when they both heard heavy steps on the stairs. Steps so heavy that they could only belong to Bull. Rush automatically turned to watch him as he came to view.
Was it just her imagination, or did he seem… stronger today? Or perhaps that was not the right word. He moved with certainty and focus, even more so than he usually did.
Her breath caught. He truly was… an impressive man. Today even more so than usual.
Their eyes met and Rush felt heat spread through her body. The look in his single eye was scorching.
She stood up to greet him as he approached, but before she could say a single word, Bull took her by hand and gently but firmly led her outside, back to the same spot where he told her he was Ben-Hassrath. He took one quick look around to see they were alone here, then he turned to face her.
"What is…" was the only thing she managed to say, before Bull pushed her against the wall.
Then his mouth covered hers and he kissed her, hard.
He kissed her with more passion than she ever felt in her life and his hands grabbed her shoulders to hold her still as he leaned over her. His stubble scratched the soft skin on her face. She felt it burn everywhere it touched her. She whimpered and lifted her hands to touch him, but before she could make contact, he growled into their kiss and pinned her with his whole body against the tavern wall. Then he abandoned her shoulders to grab her hips instead.
Rush felt dwarfed by him, trapped between rock and hard muscles. His lips caught her breathless moans and all she could do was grab his horns and hold on tight as he pressed his tongue against her lips, then plunged it inside the moment she opened up for him. She moaned and felt him press even deeper. Deeper than she ever felt before, more than any human could. He was… everywhere. It made her lightheaded.
He pulled their bodies even closer together and she felt the insistent press of his erection against her core. She moaned helplessly around his tongue and pushed her hips against his. He growled and kissed with even more passion, if that was possible.
The insistent movement of his hips, the unrelenting feeling of his tongue plundering her mouth… 'It's too much' she thought as she tried her best to return his passion in kind. But she couldn't keep up, couldn't move, couldn't think.
She was overwhelmed.
Just when she was on the verge of drawing back from him, from the sheer intensity of him, one thought flashed through her mind. 'Let go. You don't need to control this. Just let him kiss you.' She relaxed in his hold and heard him groan deeply, helplessly, as his hands covered her backside and he pulled her up against him. Her legs around his hips, he moved his hips rhythmically against her, then one of his hands grabbed the back of her neck to hold her in place as he continued his assault on her mouth.
She felt on the verge of coming, from the burning, scratching kiss and the movement of his hips alone. She gave up on trying to return every gesture in kind and simply enjoyed the ride. Bull seemed to enjoy her sudden pliancy too, as a steady growl formed in his throat and travelled through their connected mouths to vibrate deep inside her chest. Then it fell lower and transformed into sticky wetness between her legs.
She felt ready to plead him to take her right there and screw it if anyone saw them.
Bull must have noticed they were going too far, though, as he slowed down. Rush whimpered in disappointment as he stopped moving his hips to slowly set her back down on the ground. His mouth didn't leave hers yet, though. Instead of the insistent, passionate assault, their kiss became a playful chase, then a gentle caress, until finally he pulled back with one last sweet peck against her lips.
He looked into her passion-blown eyes and smiled down at her, "Good morning, Rush."
Her dazed eyes rose to meet his. "Uh." That was all she could manage at the moment. If he didn't still hold her firmly by the back of her neck and her backside, she felt she would simply slide down to the ground and melt into a puddle. "Uh."
Bull's reddened lips pulled into a grin. "Thought you might like it. Since yesterday ended kind of one-sided, I decided to even it out a little bit." A gentle light entered his eye. He leaned in close to rest his forehead against hers. "Yesterday was… That was good, Kadan."
She blinked stupidly a couple times, trying to clear her head. Then she smiled up at him, "Anytime, Chief."
He smiled back and enveloped her in a hug.
Rush closed her eyes and enjoyed their close contact. Still, she couldn't help but imagine what sex with him would be like. If a kiss (and a bit of passionate groping) could turn her to mush and all but overwhelm her… She wondered, once again, if she should use her Knight-Enchanter skills and manipulate her body to accept him. All of him. Completely.
'I will need a good strategy,' she thought with a mischievous smirk and hugged him back.
A/N: Rush rushed so far ahead that she skipped the whole D/s thing and started with aftercare. What can I say? She likes to aim for the heart. :3
Also, when a man confesses that he's afraid of becoming a rebel, you don't send him into enemy territory to pretend he's a rebel. Seriously, that's an epic dick move. Poor Bull.
On a less pleasant note, I might need a bit more time to finish up the next chapter. It's… mostly written, but I don't like it :/ So, there might not be a chapter next week, if I can't figure out how to make it better. And determine what tone it will set for the next big Chargers mission. So, I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter and hopefully I'll have the next part finished in two weeks :)