Because pagaininpurple wanted "Fluffy humour with Ladynoir", seasonofthegeek wanted a non-scary akuma, and I wanted to write drunk Chat. Ta-da!
Ladybug leapt to the ground and looked around the quad in confusion. An akuma had definitely been reported at this end of the university, but this didn't look like ground zero for an akuma attack; it looked like the late stages of a frat party. Given that it was after midnight on the weekend, at a university, that didn't seem too unusual. She swung her yoyo lazily and wandered over to a small group of students, who were drunkenly discussing…anime?
"Uh, excuse me," she said, tapping the guy closest to her on the shoulder. "Is everything ok here? Someone reported an akuma in this area."
"What?" He blinked owlishly at her, and then his face lit with recognition. "OH! Hey look guys, it's Ladybug!"
"Ladybug! Hi!"
"Oh my god, you're here!"
"It's Ladybug!"
"Um, hello." She stepped back in surprise at the exuberant greeting, and waved awkwardly. "You haven't seen an akuma around here, have you?"
"I don't know about any akumas, but this fat guy came around and hooked us all up with drinks!" They all held up their identical drinks with big loopy grins. "Santé," he called, and then they were all knocking glasses and drinking merrily.
She frowned at this. A fat man going around giving out alcohol? Could that be the akuma? Or just a frat guy being a good host? She eyed their violently purple cups.
Probably the akuma.
She turned and slipped away from the group, wondering where he could have gone. And where was Chat? Normally, they'd have found one another by this point, though admittedly, this was not the usual run of akuma. She brought up her yoyo to try to contact him, only to snap her head up when she heard her name—just in time to be knocked to the ground by a large, leather-clad body.
"Ohh, that didn't feel good." They were sprawled out in the grass, with his body pinning hers to the ground. "Chat, are you ok?"
He pushed himself up on his hands and looked down at her with a goofy smile. "Ladybug, you're here! Now we can really get this party started."
She narrowed her eyes. "Chat? Are you drunk?"
He tapped his chin thoughtfully. Or at least, he tried to. He missed his chin and poked himself in the cheek. "I'm not sure I would say drunk, necessarily. But tipsy? Yeah. I'm definitely tipsy."
"Ugh, Chat, get off of me!" She shoved at his shoulder and he rolled off of her to flop on his back in the grass. "You are drunk! Why would you drink something from an akuma?"
His mouth dropped open in outrage, and he sat up to glare at her indignantly. "Give me a little credit here, LB. I didn't drink anything. He has a wine cask strapped to his back, and it was tapped with a spray nozzle…thing. He sprayed me with it."
"…Right. So this akuma—"
"Bacchus."
"Bacchus?"
"Yeah. That's his name. Bacchus. You know, as in the ancient Roman god of wine and merry-making?"
She pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh. "Ok. So Bacchus is just going around getting people drunk? Why?"
"No idea, he just seems to want everyone to party, and have a good time. He didn't even try to take my Miraculous."
"He…didn't?"
"Nope! And I know Hawkmoth was trying to push him to it, but do you know what he said? He told Hawkmoth to—and I quote—'get lit and get laid'. I mean, how great is that?"
Ladybug blinked, opened her mouth to speak, shut it, shook her head, and tried again. "So, where is this Bacchus? We need to—"
"Ladybug, have I ever told you how much I love you?"
She blinked at him. "Chat—"
"No, really. I mean, you're the best! I couldn't ask for a better partner. Not even Nino. You're waay prettier than Nino, and you're wonderful and I—"
"Chat! Now is not the time!" She grabbed his hand and started towing him behind her. "Let's take care of this akuma, and then if you're still trashed, we can have this conversation. Now come on, before you start drunk dialing people…"
"Oh my lady, I love it when you get aaalllll grabby and sassy."