A/N: Yes ... Backstreet Boys...

Chapter 43

As Long As You Love Me

Edward's POV:

"Um … Bella," I began, stammering, "I can't—I think we're doing something tonight for dinner already." It was total bullshit of course, and it was obvious that she didn't buy it for a moment. The only thing was, she looked kind of … relieved.

Flashing me a warm, accepting smile, she half shrugged.

I felt like an asshole, but what the hell could I do? Meet her father and tell him he was a fucking bastard for abandoning her to the nightmare of her mother? The asshole would probably snap me in half. Like the other Swans he was a giant; easily six foot six and three hundred pounds.

The only problem was when Bella looked at him it was obvious she idolized him. I couldn't get the expression she'd had when she met him at the airport out of my mind. Her entire face had lit up and her eyes had come to life. It ripped my freaking heart out, 'cause I fucking hated him; hated him for having a gorgeous daughter that he put after himself; hated him for not doing something about Bella's trailer trash mother—not preventing his only child from the hell that she grew up in. Also, because I was a selfish bastard, I had to admit I was half jealous as well, but that to-bit excuse for a parent didn't deserve the affection Bella obviously had for him.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Bella's soft-toned voice broke me from my brooding thoughts, and when I looked up to meet her gaze again her expression was hedging with concern. I'd been reefing my hands through my hair, my expression no doubt darkening and pissed off, so naturally she'd react. . "You … okay?" she eventually asked sounding uncertain, before reaching up and tugging on her lower lip.

There those two fucking words were again...

I forced the smile back on my face and my anger over her father to the back of my thoughts. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'll call you tonight."

She smiled in response, but it still seemed cautious, so I winked and watched her grin grow broad and only partially cynical.

"You're a dag," she scoffed knowingly, before starting her jeep, reversing and driving out of view.

I watched her leave, my mood slowly returning to pissed off as thoughts of her father began to infiltrate my mind again.

Fucking bastard!

I let myself back inside through the front door, past Alice and Jazz, and headed for the stairs.

"So, bludge…" Emmett was suddenly before me with half a smirk on his lips. "I think you have a problem."

"What…?"

"Mom, she's clued on to … erm … root." And he snorted in his attempt not to fucking laugh.

"Emmett, Jesus!" I snapped, running my fingers stiffly back through my hair. "You're such a fucking asshole!"

"Well, how did I know the woman knew how to Google?" It was obvious the fucker was enjoying himself; he couldn't keep the wise ass expression from his face.

I huffed and shoved past him and up the stairs.

My mother was waiting in fucking ambush by my bedroom door. "I'm not going to give you a lecture, Edward, just that I hope you're being careful."

I sighed heavily but didn't reply. She moved aside to let me enter my room, but didn't move. In fact, she still stood gauging me as I was about to close the door. "Mom—what?" I burst impatiently, though I was fucking embarrassed more than I was annoyed.

"Do… do you want me to send Carlisle up later to have a chat with you?" she asked me apprehensively.

"What? NO!" I burst seconds before slamming the door.

"I wouldn't look so smug, mister. I am well aware of the recent happenings with you and Rose—not to mention you pair, Alice and Jazz!" I heard her voice rise sternly from the other side of my bedroom door.

"Likewise with you and Dr. Seuss, Mother dearest. I'm gonna need a shit ton of therapy because of the thin walls in this house."

There was a few seconds of silence, and I knew that as per usual Emmett had rendered Mom speechless.

A moment later she exploded.

Emmett was right though; the walls in the house were too thin. It was fucked up that I shared a common wall with him.

I logged on to my computer and checked my email. There was one from Nummi with an attached photo, and I exhaled deeply in relief. I was getting worried she'd forget.

This is the clearest one I could find, Edward. I hope it helps. How's she doing? Give her my love.

Nummi xo

I saved the photo to my files, trying not to focus on it or the anger that the sight of it immediately created within me.

After enlarging and cropping it, I began searching online. It took several hours, but eventually I found what I was looking for. I filled out an order form and forwarded the photo. The cost was pretty much what I had expected, and no doubt I'd have to ask Mom for fucking permission to withdraw it from my account.

Grabbing my laptop, I opened the door to go in search for her, when I ran into Alice.

"Mom's pissed. She's threatening to cancel Emmett's party," she spoke half laughing and rolling her eyes.

I only stared at her, feeling my confusion turn to agitation for, as usual, not having a fucking clue what she was talking about. "What … party?" I asked after a moment.

She blinked a few times and looked away suddenly looking uncomfortable. "Um … it's for our birthday, as well, but you know how Emmett's prom party was sort of … cut short?"

Dropping my head, I scratched the back of my neck, nodding. "Yeah," I mumbled as memories of the night of prom flooded through my thoughts.

Alice had called Mom and Carlisle, worried about Bella, and they had put an end to the party the moment they saw the state she was in. Naturally, Emmett had blamed me for it; thinking I'd fucking forced myself on her—or some bullshit like that. Of course, upon seeing my girlfriend hysterical in my arms that would be the normal fucking assumption.

I was so pissed off I'd punched him, square in the face, taking him completely by surprise. It'd no doubt be the first and last time Emmett would ever let me hit him without retaliating. He'd still out matched me, though; wrestling me to the ground with blood pouring from his nose. As I struggled under him, my stomach had burned as if my internal organs had exploded, but it only spurned my anger on further. It had been insignificant when Bella was in so much pain. Mine I could tolerate, but I couldn't bear hers.

I wasn't even sure why, just that it had made me so angry it didn't seem rational.

"Where are you going with your computer anyway?" she inquired, gazing at me oddly, her forehead beginning to crease. Fucking mind reading me as usual.

I shrugged. "Nowhere."

She snorted barely beneath her breath before seeming to push it aside. "Got ten minutes? I want to talk to you about something."

Immediately my back snapped upright. "You walked in on me and Bella, Alice. I get it. Do I want to talk about it? I'll take a fucking rain check!"

She flashed me a sarcastic look. "Yeah, because I enjoy discussing the details of my—" she broke off and looked around us quickly, before dropping her voice and continuing, "brother's sex life."

"Well, what the hell do you want, then?" I snapped.

"It's about Bella," she answered with equal amounts of impatience.

I grabbed a fistful of her sweater and dragged her back inside my room. "What about Bella?" I asked skeptically, the moment I had closed the door behind us.

She folded her arms across her chest and took a breath. "I'm worried about her."

"What else is new, Alice? You're always worried about her. Bella isn't a baby, you know!"

She huffed out her breath sharply. "Don't be an asshole!"

"Just spit it out. I've got shit to do."

"Fine—I'm worried about how fast things are moving with the two of you. That maybe Bella is using it as a way to deal with everything she's been through. She might not be even ready for any of it—have you even thought about that?" Her tone was practically accusatory and instantly it pissed me off. No, not just pissed me off, it made me completely fucking irate.

Taking a slow, measured breath in, I clenched my teeth together. "So what you're saying, Alice, is that Bella is using me for sex, and I'm taking advantage of it?" I spoke lowly, wanting to grab the little rat and hurl her out of my room.

"Of course that's not what I mean—stop being so dramatic, Edward!" she yelled back in frustration. "Jesus, you're highly strung!"

"Alice, get the fuck out of my room," I demanded, past all fucking patience, pointing my finger toward the door.

I glared down at her, ready to pick her up and propel her through the door, but there was something about her gaze that made me pause. It was all fucking pleading and apologetic.

"Edward, of course I don't think you'd ever treat Bella like that." Her tone was gentle this time, before she sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."

I didn't answer her, I couldn't. My thoughts were suddenly racing, recalling and analyzing everything that had happened in Australia until what Alice had just spoken seemed almost fucking logical. Bella, who was initially despondent and withdrawn, was physically shy with me—if not at all. Then she completely cut me off, severing all ties, barely able to look at me. Then after Rach had gotten her drunk and she finally let go of her pain, something reversed within her. She was suddenly not the shy Bella she was before; she was all fucking flirty and physically assertive. I mean, fuck me, she'd full on grabbed my dick at the bonfire, and it was her who had initiated things sexually between us. And despite her apparent apprehension about it, she almost appeared to need it. I had led her in that direction, unwittingly, because I was a horny fucking prick, and it had been all I'd been thinking about since the moment I'd met her.

Fuck!

The little rat was right, and it was so fucked up that she was!

I ran both my hands back through my hair, before rubbing my fingers heavily against my creased forehead. "Shit..." I admitted to myself.

"Edward …" Alice spoke up delicately, "it's not abnormal. I mean, every time I have to get testing done, I want to lose myself too… It doesn't mean she's using you, at all. It's obvious she's crazy stupid in love with you."

I nodded and released my breath, running my fingers once more over my scalp. I felt weary all of a sudden. This shit with Bella and I was tiring. As much as I loved her, she was so messed up, it was emotionally fucking tiring!

I knew it was too soon—I should have listened to my instincts. But I didn't because I got caught up in the train wreck that was our two weeks in Australia.

But now that we were back…

"Alice, do you think that maybe you could have spoken to Bella about this? You know how fucked up it is that you're talking about this with me?" I was starting to feel irritated that my sister was a nosy, pain in the ass, and even more because she was so fucking perceptive.

"I can't, because Bella's the one still grieving, and I don't want to upset her."

Releasing my breath fucking heavily, I sat down on the edge of my bed, placing both my palms over my face and massaging my forehead. "Yeah," I mumbled.

"Edward, now is the time that you and Bella get to be normal boyfriend and girlfriend. Australia was unique … you know? Don't base everything off what happened there," she said, gently.

"Yeah, okay, Alice. You're a fucking know it all, now get out!" I replied with only half feigned anger.

She broke into a grin. "You're welcome, now give me a hug."

"How about you leave me alone for once in your fucking life."

"I couldn't do that. You're my brother, and if you didn't have me, you'd be rooted." And with that the little rat started fucking laughing.

Shaking my head, I scoffed, deciding to take her in good-nature, before I threw the little ferret out of my room.

Okay, Bella and I were home and life was slowly getting back to normal, so now what? We couldn't have sex again—or at the very least for a while? The very idea of it made me feel fucking neurotic. I was a horny fucking bastard, sure, but it wasn't just physical. I craved that connection with her; maybe the same way she did. Who the hell knew?

Maybe I just had to let it all go and not think too much about it, but I knew I had to learn to read her more carefully. It wasn't exactly easy, though, since she kept herself pretty much locked up.

I grabbed my iPhone and sent her a text, want to do something fun tomorrow, baby?

I always have fun with you, silly, was her reply a minute later.

I was smiling all fucking tenderly to myself before I was aware of it. Want to see a movie?

Ok, in the arvo?

I chuckled, and as if she knew what my reaction was, another text came through from her before I was able to reply.

Shut up.

It only increased my laughter. You're gorgeous, but ok in the arvo.

If you're mocking me there will be consequences.

Fuck it—she was worth every minute of the shit we'd gone through. I loved her!

. . .

She arrived at 3 pm to drive us to Port Angeles, because I was a fucking decrepit still with no license. It didn't mean Mom would allow me to spend any more of the money my father had left me from his life insurance to buy another car when I eventually got my license back. I hadn't brought it up with her. She'd told Alice, Emmett and I, just before we were old enough to drive that we could buy a car, but the rest was for college. But I had to get another car; it was driving me fucking mad without one.

Climbing into Bella's jeep, I pulled her impulsively into my arms to kiss her, then again, parting my mouth further against hers. She threatened to completely conquer me, so with a huge amount of willpower, I pulled back, before dropping my lips to the crook of her neck, releasing my breath. In sync with me, she exhaled, humming softly with it, before turning to kiss me quickly on the cheek.

"What are we going to see?" she asked, murmuring against my skin.

I shrugged, before raising my head to look at her. "You pick," I replied wiping her hair off her face and behind her ear.

She thought about it for a moment. "Hmmm … the vampire one?"

My response was an immediate groan. "Serious, Bella? What is the appeal about that guy anyway?"

"I read the books," she answered as if to convince me. "Okay they kinda sucked, but it's romantic…" she let her voice trail, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth, and smiling at me all coy and fucking appealing.

"Okay," I conceded, my eyes zeroing in to her mouth.

She kissed me again briefly, her lips soft, her mouth slightly apart—completely defeating me in that moment, before turning back to the steering wheel and turning the key in the ignition.

I wondered how she could just pull out of it and go back to life when I was left in shredded fucking ruin.

"What are you wearing, Bella—is that new?" I asked her after a couple of minutes. I'd become transfixed by the way she chewed on her bottom lip as she drove.

She was wearing a t-shirt with a V-neck, revealing just enough of the top part of her breasts that it made me want to grab them.

She glanced down at it quickly before half shrugging. "Yeah, but I'm kinda cold."

She was.

"Did you bring a jacket?" I asked her; I didn't want every asshole ogling her.

She shook her head. "My father bought this for me, and … I guess I didn't want to hurt his feelings by covering it with a jacket."

I felt myself tense, suddenly not liking that shirt on her anymore, despite how it fit on her; pissed off that The Colonel would have his daughter go out cold, because he couldn't pull his head out of his ass long enough to know she wasn't acclimatized to Forks yet.

Glancing sideways at me, her expression furrowed. I'd been sitting fucking scowling to myself and she'd caught me.

"Edward," she breached, her eyebrows bunching together, "you're doing that face again."

I straightened myself out immediately.

Sorry, Babes. Just thinking," I said quickly, throwing her a too hastily put together grin.

Her lips twitched slightly and as she turned to glance at me her expression lightened. "Did you just call me 'babes'?" she repeated, quirking her eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes, secretly relieved it had shifted the mood. "What? Not allowed?"

"No, it makes me cringe; besides"—she lowered the tone of her voice and turned her attention back to the road; the smile still ghosting over her lips—"Jake calls Ness the same thing."

Fuck me sideways.

"Nice to know I make you cringe, baby cakes," I teased her, grabbing her leg and squeezing playfully.

She donged my hand with her fist, before changing gears. "Behave!"

It was pleasing to know that with a sappy word, and a mild mannered amount of groping, I could still kind of charm her.

I was definitely filing that one away.

"What? You don't like me sounding like Jake?" I asked her, continuing before she could reply. "I wuv you, Belly Welly."

She almost choked, a grimace mixing in with her amusement. "Oh my God, Edward. That is so cheesy. You'll make me chuck."

"Chuck Wood? I asked, teasing her further.

She sighed and shook her head, her usually cynical smile turning warm. "There's no hope for you…" she mumbled softly to herself.

I returned her smile before resting my hand on her leg, squeezing it gently. She placed her right hand over mine, grabbing my fingers, continuing to drive as she chewed absently on her bottom lip, with the barest hint of a smile.

"Okay, let me know when we come to the turn off. I always bloody miss it," Bella said, after a few moments of silence where I was sure the extent of her smile was at the expense of my clammy fingers.

"Bugger! You missed it!" I replied, fully feigning seriousness.

Bella immediately turned to me, a flustered expression on her face, before she realized I was joking, and only a split second before I burst into laughter.

"That's not funny!" she protested, but scowling at me good-naturedly. She whacked me in the chest, and moved to hit me again, before I caught her hand and brought it to my lips.

"I'm sorry, baby," I said, trying to suppress my chuckling. "It's about a mile up ahead."

"You love to mock me, don't you?" she replied, releasing her breath and half rolling her eyes, shaking her head.

"I can't help it; I love your bogan language." I chuckled this time beneath my breath.

Her lips thinned, and she pulled her hand from my grip and pressed her fingers into her brow. "Edward…" she complained with a sigh, "Stop..."

"I'm sorry," I said gently, deliberately putting too much sap into it, and making the grin twitch to the surface again. Reaching over, I cupped the inside of her upper thigh in my palm, making her almost flinch. "Belly Welly, honey bear?"

She shook her head lightly to herself again, unable to disguise the smile that was growing across her face, or the fact that her face was flushing.

Oh yeah, I had it nailed. I finally knew how to charm Little Miss Stubborn.

. . .

We reached Port Angeles shortly after. Bella found a place to park close to the movie complex, and we jumped out.

"Here, baby, put this on," I said gently, placing my jacket over her shoulders, and gathering her hair from beneath it.

She eagerly slipped into it, before bringing the sleeve to her nose and inhaling.

She seemed to like smelling my jacket.

"Aren't you a sweetheart," she mumbled, snuggling into me as I snaked my arm over her shoulder.

I led her in the direction of the cinema when she stopped me and looked up and down the street as if she was searching for someone. Before I could enquire, she elaborated, "Is there a chemist around here? Alice said there was."

I felt myself immediately grin, though I tried my hardest to conceal it.

"Chemist?" I asked feigning ignorance, though I knew from being in Australia that a chemist was a drug store.

She huffed, her cheeks flushing deeply for a moment. "Chemist is wrong? Seriously?" She sounded annoyed.

My grin broadened. "What do you need, Bella?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but paused. "It … it's for you as much as it is for me." Her face tinged again.

This piqued my curiosity, and I gazed down at her; she was tugging on her lower lip again. "What is it, baby?"

She released her breath. "I have a prescription for the birth control pill."

For a moment I wasn't sure how to react. My first thoughts were of having sex with her again—completely uncovered. Something which immediately threatened me with a boner, followed by a freaking new surge in my body temperature.

"You sure? I mean, there's no rush?" What the fuck was I saying? I had to get fucking interfering Alice out of my head.

But Bella only grinned at me wryly. "I'm sure, Edward. I'm the product of a teenage mother. It's not exactly a legacy I want to continue, and …" her tone turned soft, "I wouldn't do that to you, either."

My heart suddenly felt flooded. It was fucked up how much I loved her.

"Baby … you know if anything ever happened like that, I'd never leave you?" I'd never abandon her, but I suddenly knew how to deflate my hard ons when I needed to; think about getting Bella pregnant.

Fuck that.

Her smile turned tender, and a raw emotion seeped into her expression; making her eyes do that haunted shit again. "I know you wouldn't, Edward, but that's why I'm getting this pill, so we're never put in that position," she said, before muttering something further. It was something I think she meant to be under her breath, but it was loud enough for me to catch. "And so I won't turn into my mother."

I tensed, feeling my jaw clench at the very mention of that trash whore. It was inconceivable that Bella could be anything like her.

She immediately realized that I'd heard her, and in an instant her whole demeanor changed. Anxiety flooded her expression before she quickly masked it—it reminded me of the Bella when we first arrived in Australia. The Bella that had completely cut me off and out of her life.

I had to distract her, and fast.

"Well, come on then, baby cakes. Let's go and find a chemist," I teased her, lowering my head to nuzzle her neck, before slipping my hand under the jacket, and grabbing one of her tits.

"Edward!" she exclaimed in surprise, trying to keep her voice hushed as her face immediately burned. She quickly pulled my hand away before scoffing to herself, and smiling discreetly.

Fuck, I was good!

We went in search of a drug store, finding one a block away. I paid for her birth control—whipping out a twenty dollar note from my pocket and handing it to the cashier, while Bella rummaged through her purse for the right amount.

I figured I was going to benefit the most from it, so it was the least I could do. Of course, it was worth it alone for how much it frustrated the hell out of her. She spent the entire walk to the cinema insisting on paying me back, and when I kept flatly refusing she tried to shove the money down my front pockets. Though, it kept her thoughts well away from her trailer trash mother; she laughed the whole time.

When we got to the cinema there was already a mile long line for the crappy vampire movie she wanted to see. Unfortunately, it wasn't that large a crowd that it was sold out. I bought two tickets before Bella and I joined the back of the queue.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her against me, before looking down—straight at her cleavage, exposed from that fucking t-shirt 'The General' had bought her. I immediately went tense, and didn't know whether it was because I was pissed off or horny. She was wearing a black bra; it looked like the same one she'd worn in Sydney...

Bella, ever perceptive, cocked her head, looking up at me, and I had exactly two seconds to straighten out my expression. Her eyebrows were drawn, and before she could tell me I was doing that face, or ask me if I was okay, I quickly intercepted her. "I think I'll go and get the popcorn and drinks while we're waiting. What would you like?"

Her brow puckered as she contemplated for a moment. "Um … a Passiona."

I only continued to gaze at her, this time well and truly stumped, and I didn't know how to tell her that I had no fucking idea what a Passiona was. "Erm … I'm not—wouldn't you just rather a coke?"

Her expression immediately turned cynical and frustrated, and it was all I could do not to openly laugh. I placed my hand over my mouth in the guise of rubbing my chin to prevent her from seeing my reaction, but it was obvious she didn't buy it?

"Passiona is wrong? Are you kidding me?" she huffed. "I've been gone for two weeks, and now I feel like I'm back to my first day in Forks."

Jesus, she was so freaking adorable, and before I could properly smother it, I expelled an amused breath through my nose.

She sighed deeply, breaking into a wry grin and lightly shaking her head to herself.

"Explain to me what a Passiona is?" I asked, chuckling gently.

"It's a passion fruit flavored soft drink."

I continued to gaze at her, fucking blankly. "Soft drink..." I repeated before recognition hit me. "It's a coke, right, sweetie?"

"Not even close—and sweetie?" she put to me skeptically, quirking her eyebrows.

I released my breath, groaning in feigned frustration before wrapping my elbow around her neck, pulling her to me. "You're killing me here, baby cakes. Okay, stay put for a minute, I'll be back with popcorn and a Passiona." I winked at her, and she elbowed me in the ribs before I could move away.

By the time I'd returned with the snacks, the queue of people was slowly filing into the cinema. I caught up with Bella inside; she'd found us a seat in the far back corner. I sat beside her and passed her a vanilla coke. "One Passiona, and they didn't have Chokito Bars, honey bear, sorry."

She bit down on her bottom lip, attempting to scowl but breaking into a small smile. "Very funny, Edward—and I told you in Australia that I didn't like Chokito Bars!"

I passed her the bucket of popcorn, and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer to me. "I have no idea what a Chokito bar is."

She sighed, only sounding minimally bothered by me. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Shhh…" I teased her, putting my finger to my lips. The crappy movie was starting.

She only rolled her eyes at me.

I made it through the first twenty minutes before I gave up trying to follow it and decided to take advantage of having Bella next to me in a darkened room.

I kept angling her face toward mine, trying to get her to engage with me, but she stubbornly held me off for the majority of the movie. Eventually, she seemed to surrender, and the combined taste of popcorn, soda and Jujy Fruits on her lips almost made me rabid.

Again, she kissed me with more depth, more intensity, while her hand ran around to the back of my neck, her fingers burying in my hair; completely inundating and awakening me. Every single time she enslaved me; turning me into a sack of horny, drooling impulses just by kissing me. I had no idea whether she had some kind of power of persuasion, or I was just this much of a pussy, but when the lights turned on, her mouth disconnected from mine and she switched off the seduction without seeming to suffer any of the torment that I did.

The problem was that just kissing her was never enough. I wanted all of her all the time.

And I wasn't grieving...

Alice had to be wrong.

We walked out of the cinema, my arm wrapped over her shoulders, completely drunk on her and barely able to control the beast in my pants, while my skin was burning to the surface. Being perpetually on the cusp of arousal was just my reality now that Bella was my girlfriend.

We drove back to Forks where Bella dropped me home. She switched off the ignition and turned to me; her eyes dark and endless in the dimness of dusk.

"Later, Alligator," she said gently, leaning toward me.

I met her half way, cupping her face in my palms and kissing her tenderly but briefly before I released her. I couldn't allow her to conquer me again, or I'd have to seriously whack off in the shower, and Emmett was astutely aware of things like that.

"While, Crocodile," I replied, my voice low and husky—already completely affected by her. I kissed her once more on her partially open mouth, and then jumped out of her jeep before my impulses took control and I dragged her into the backseat.

I walked to the porch, turning around to see her car retreating down the driveway before opening the front door and stepping inside.

"Oh, there you are, sweetheart. Were you out with Bella?" Mom asked me, coming over to me and wiping something off my face with her licked fingers.

"Yeah," I replied, wanting to cringe away from her and make a hasty retreat for my room before she could recall the meaning of root again.

"I ran into her father today—lovely man. He and Bella are joining us tomorrow for Dinner."

Fuck!

A/N: So you know your poison; lurk, review, flame, pm, flounce. Whatevs…
PS: Passiona is pronounced "pash-ee-own-a.