A/N: This is part one of the end; part 2 will be from Edward. This story has been written over 5 years and I'm really just ready to have it finished now.
Yes ... One Direction ... but it's fitting.
**Edited to add** It's the third last chapter. Yeah, I know. I suck.
Chapter 50
Story of My Life.
Part 1.
Bella's POV
Uncle Billy decided not to press assault charges against Edward. Apparently Tyler Crowley, who was working at the Thriftway at the time, as well as the Store Manager both witnessed what had happened and were able to corroborate mine and Edward's statements. I also filled my uncle in on Mike's behaviour from the party on the night of Edward's accident, up until what had happened tonight.
He only gazed at me for a moment, his expression slowly growing dark before he released his breath. Slamming down his pen, he pulled himself to his feet and ushered me to the door. "Wait for me out here, Bella," he instructed me quietly, before turning his attention to Edward. "Edward, I have called your parents to come and pick you up."
"Great," Edward muttered as I sat beside him and grabbed his hand. "My mother's going to freak."
Freak was a slight understatement.
The moment Mrs Cullen walked into the police station with Carlisle following close behind, she pointed her finger at Edward, and stated in a cold, hard voice, "I'm in a good mind to leave you here all night!"
Edward's expression twisted, as a huff escaped his lips, just as Uncle Billy walked out of his office. "I won't be detaining Edward. He's free to go."
He motioned for Esme and Carlisle to speak with him, and as Esme passed Edward she glared at him. "Don't think this is the end of it, mister."
"Fuck my life," Edward grumbled in response, releasing my hand to drag his fingers back through his hair.
"Uncle Billy will explain it all. Don't stress," I said softly to him, but he remained unconvinced.
When he turned to me his expression was strained, his brow knotting. "You don't know my mother, babe."
"Hey," I nudged him playfully with my shoulder, "she couldn't be any worse than mine."
He broke into a resigned kind of smile, pushing it through his nose, before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me closer to him.
Bloody hell he was hot. I often wondered whether he was running a fever.
Resting my hand on his leg, I relaxed against him for a moment, feeling him immediately tense the second his mother reappeared from Uncle Billy's office.
"In the car—now, Edward."
He didn't move.
"Edward!" His mother warned; she suddenly looked incredibly intimidating.
"I'll get Bella to drop me off later," Edward replied defiantly, getting to his feet and tugging me after him.
Esme took a step closer to him, her eyes narrow, and her expression uncompromising. "Edward, I'm warning you now. Get your ass in the car right this minute!"
And because Edward was Edward, he snorted. "Or what? You'll drag me there?"
Esme looked like that was exactly what she was about to do, when I interjected with a weary sigh, "Edward, just go, and ... call me later tonight."
This is when Mrs Cullen turned her eyes to me. They were stone cold, and emotionless, immediately reminding me of Edward the afternoon of condom testing. She took a step in my direction, as a ripple of panic shot through me, causing me to impulsively stumble back from her; finding myself against my Uncle. "Oh no, Bella. Edward won't be calling you—or anyone—for a very long time."
"Mom—Jesus!" Edward burst, before his gaze met mine, his expression contrasting immediately into guilt. "I'm so sorry," he mouthed to me.
I only nodded quickly, with a sense of unease growing within; making me feel as if everything around me was falling apart.
It was a familiar feeling.
Uncle Billy placed his hands over my shoulders, his breath leaving him. "Okay, everyone needs to calm down. Mrs Cullen, I can understand where you're coming from, but this isn't helping."
Esme's narrowing eyes rose to my uncle's. "Thank you, Chief Swan. We'll handle it from here."
She was completely dismissing him; I did not appreciate it, at all.
And neither did Edward.
"This is such bullshit!" he exclaimed. His eyes were burning, making him appear close to tears. "If you think I'm going anywhere with you you're kidding yourself!" And with that, he turned around and left the station, slamming the door violently as he went.
I flinched, before immediately pulling from my uncle's arms and going after him, hearing Mrs Cullen burst as I left, "He's going to kill himself over that girl!"
That girl?
. . .
Edward was walking about thirty feet ahead of me, the anger immersed deeply in his strides, his posture; in every rigid muscle of his body.
Running towards him, I called out his name; he stopped walking and half turned to me just as I reached him.
"Hey—where are you going?" I put to him, deliberately making my tone gentle as I fought to catch my breath.
He turned to me squarely and grabbed my upper arms. His expression was completely overrun, his eyes intensifying with the emotion of it. "What was I supposed to do—let that fucking pissant put his hands on you? What was I supposed to do?" He was on the edge of control and it was scaring the hell out of me.
Nodding, I grabbed his t-shirt in my hands, pulling him closer to me. "I know—I know! Honey, please calm down." My tone broke. I couldn't stand to see him like this.
He pulled me to him roughly, folding me against his chest, as his heated breath washed over me. "I'm sorry, baby! I'm so sorry."
He was on the verge of tears.
Jesus, what was I doing to him?
"Edward—bloody hell," I burst, my voice catching, and feeling my emotions fray. This person who was ruled by such a passionate, dominating heart, and who had made me whole again, had become so ingrained in who I was now. It was as if my heart was rigged as a receptor to his, unable to function independently. It scared the life out of me. "It's okay—really, it is."
I pulled him off the road under the canopy of a line of maple trees. He was breathing stiffly, his jaw set, with his hands on his hips, continuing to struggle; only his eyes were drowning, making him appear so incredibly vulnerable.
I kissed him, over and over, repeatedly, feeling his body tremble against mine as he fought an evident onslaught of emotion. Edward would never be in full control of his emotions. I knew this now, and understanding it helped me to calm him down.
This was just who he was.
Severing my lips from his, I moved back to see his face, telling him adamantly, "Don't let yourself get so upset. You did nothing wrong."
He only gazed at me for a moment before he nodded, expelling his breath in what appeared like resignation. "I suppose I should just let my mother get it out of her system."
Immediately relieved, I dropped my forehead to his chest, grabbing his shirt in both my fists. "I'm beginning to think you and your mother are a lot alike," I murmured, before looking back up and meeting his gaze, my smile turning wry.
He laughed, the timbre of it soft as it rocked gently from his chest. "I'm sure she'd like hearing that."
Kissing me tenderly, but briefly on the lips, he encircled his arm around my shoulder and turned us back towards the police station again.
Carlisle was waiting by his car watching us approach, and seeing him Edward suddenly blurted out, sounding more like his old self again, "I'm not going to fucking apologise for anything."
"You'd better not!" I replied lightly, sighing beneath my breath. As ironic as it was, I definitely preferred his short temper.
"Everything okay, Edward?" Carlisle enquired when we came to a stop beside him.
Edward only jerked his shoulder in evident irritation.
"I've calmed down your mother. She and Chief Swan are talking inside for a moment. He's a fair man," Carlisle elaborated.
"What a great story," Edward replied, with blatant sarcasm.
"Edward," I whispered to him, nudging him gently in the ribs.
A small smile lit up on his face before he turned to me, planting his lips quickly to my temple. "See-ya, Babe. I'll call you soon," he said lowly, before he opened the back door to the Mercedes and got in.
Carlisle took a sedate breath, before turning his clear blue eyes to mine and offering me what appeared to be an empathetic smile. I returned it before turning back to Edward where it grew broad across my face. He grinned back, winking, but his expression still remained guarded.
Sighing and feeling weary, I turned to walk back inside the station, only to find myself staring into the intense green eyes of his mother.
She flashed me a strange sort of smile, that I think was meant to be some kind of farewell, but all I could hear in my mind was, that girl, that girl, that girl; that girl who's going to kill him.
I glanced down eager to sever her gaze, feeling awkward and unsure of myself, and hating the fact that I did.
"Goodbye, Bella," I heard Mrs Cullen say, and her tone was hard but still courteous.
"Goodbye," I spoke softly in return, before I again met Edward's eyes through the window. "Bye," I mouthed to him, flashing him a warm, parting smile.
"I love you," he replied.
I didn't respond to it. I'm not sure why; maybe because I feared it was the reason this was all happening.
. . .
Uncle Billy drove me back home several minutes later, and the atmosphere inside the car was strained.
"Are you going to tell my father what happened tonight?" I braved as he pulled up in front of the house.
"No," he answered matter-of-factly, before sighing deeply and explaining further. "Despite Edward's history, Bella, I can't fault him for how he acted tonight."
With a relieved sigh beneath my breath, I opened the door, turning back to flash my uncle a grateful grin.
"Where's Jake and that girlfriend of his?" he queried after returning my smile with added warmth.
"I think they went to the movies," I lied quickly. I didn't know where they'd gone, just that, in keeping with my agreement with Jake, they'd gone to give me and Edward some privacy.
Privacy we no longer needed...
After Uncle Billy dropped me off, I retrieved the groceries from the back-seat of my car, where they had remained, and headed inside.
Jake and Ness weren't home.
I was restless. After putting the groceries away, I cleaned the living room of cheese ball crumbs, and empty cans of cola, mentally calculating how long it would take Edward to get home, be lectured by his parents, storm around angrily in his room and then calm himself enough to call me.
I put it at an hour.
But after an hour and a half I still hadn't heard from him, and becoming more anxious I called him. Three times it went straight to his voice mail, and for a moment, forgetting myself, I took note of his message with a knowing grin forming across my face.
It's Edward, what's so important?
I hadn't heard it before. Though, after a fifth time hearing it I was no longer seeing the humour in it, and gave in, calling his house.
Esme answered.
"Hi, Mrs Cullen, I-I was just wondering h-how Edward was," I said, stumbling for words.
"Edward is fine," she replied curtly, "but I'm sorry, Bella. I don't think it's a good idea that he speak to you right now."
My heart paused, and I faltered. I opened my mouth to respond, but I had no words, and in the next moment she hung up.
Blinking, I drew in a shaky breath, feeling the sting of it. I valued Mrs Cullen's opinion and I had a lot of respect for her, and to have her think lowly of me, shook me more than I wanted to admit.
Refusing to succumb to tears, I headed into the kitchen for a tissue, knowing it was inevitable. I was doubting everything, and I felt pathetic and ashamed without fully comprehending why, but it should have been evident; it was always how Renee made me feel.
Grabbing the entire box of tissues from the kitchen counter, I headed to my room. It was then that my phone rang, making me almost fall backwards down the stairs in my eagerness to answer it.
Alice.
"Hey, Bells. I couldn't remember whether Edward said you were dropping him home, or if I was," Alice blurted in a cheerful voice before I was able to speak a word.
"Alice!" I suddenly exclaimed, my tone becoming seeped by anxiety, and in a rush, I explained everything.
"Oh ... fuck..." she mumbled sounding uneasy. "I'd better get home."
"I'm worried about him, Alice," I stressed, feeling close to tears. "He was so upset earlier. Please let me know what's happening!"
Edward could so easily lose it, and he was so unpredictable.
"My mother's an idiot!" she suddenly blurted in uncharacteristic hostility, before her tone softened. "I will, Bella. I promise. Talk soon."
Forty minutes later Alice called back.
I'd called Edward a further five times; each time it went straight to his message bank. It was obvious his phone was switched off and he didn't have it on him. I had no other choice but to wait for Alice, and I'd been so frozen in fear and anticipation the whole time that when she finally did call I almost fell apart.
"Bella, I have Edward with me, and we're on our way over. He wants to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?" I repeated, my voice almost failing. "Where's he going?"
"We'll be there in five minutes."
I waited outside on the porch in my pyjama pants and singlet top shaking, with my arms folded tightly across my chest in vain. It was a long five minutes, but Alice pulled up right on time, and in the next moment, Edward was out of the car and walking up the path, his expression completely overrun.
When he was within a few feet of me, I reached out and pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his neck, just as he dragged me against him; engulfing me in his arms.
"I'm sorry, baby," he spoke, his voice husky and too compromised, before his lips enclosed over mine, and then again longer and deeper; repeatedly taking me willingly into him; into his ever constant passion and intensity.
"Edward…" I broke away, breathlessly, turning my head so that his lips pressed against my cheek. "What's going on?"
Tears were spilling silently down my face. I hadn't even been aware of them.
He stopped and seemed to gather his breath in resignation, gently wiping my tears away with his fingers. "Come inside... You're freezing."
We'd walked no more than five feet inside the house when I turned him back to me. "Tell me," I appealed to him, the anxiety I could feel in my chest, only increasing by the raw expression that was encompassing his face.
Taking a deep, subdued breath he began, "Tomorrow, I'm going to Vermont"—I felt my expression immediately transfix in dismay—"Just for three weeks, baby."
Exhaling heavily, with my shoulders slumping with it, I let my gaze fall to the floor. "Your mother wants you away from me…"
"No," he tipped my chin, making me look at him again, "... come and sit down for a moment."
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders he led me to the lounge, where I sat beside him, one hand on his leg; the other flat to my brow in a vain effort to hold myself together.
"Bella, my mother just thinks my fucking personality is some kind of syndrome, but if I don't do this she won't get off my back. She's threatened to send me to Military school next year"—my heart stalled—"even to one of those three month camps in the middle of fucking nowhere, where they come and physically drag you there. I-I have to prove to her that "I'm not out of control." He quoted with his fingers sarcastically, rolling his eyes, before he slung his arm back around my shoulders.
"I-I thought my uncle explained to her what happened?" I asked, feeling suddenly over wrought, the pitch of my voice reflecting it.
His expression darkened further, before he shrugged his shoulder, looking defeated. "She won't listen, baby."
"What's ... in Vermont?" I asked, taking a wavering breath in.
His eyes again met mine, sombre, resigned. "My uncle runs a camp for kids with Autism. I'm going to be a counsellor, I guess you could say."
"So, it's like a summer job?"
He scoffed shortly, bitterly, moving his hand from around me to push his fingers into his ridged brow. "No, it's a fucking punishment—not matter what she says."
I released my breath, bowing my head against his shoulder, disheartened.
"Look ... I've just got to do it, but she promised me that if I go I will only have to work with Carlisle for three days a week when I get back. Plus"—I rose my head to look at him again, hopeful—"Jazz agreed to go with me."
I nodded slowly, managing a half a smile, before shrugging a shoulder. "It doesn't sound too terrible."
"Yeah, and it's just for three weeks," he conceded, a smile ghosting over his lips in response.
I returned it for a moment longer, before I dropped my gaze, pushing the heel of my palm into my forehead. "I hate that she thinks I'm so terrible for you."
"Hey..." he spoke firmly, cupping my cheek and forcing my eyes back to his. "Baby, she doesn't think you're bad for me—she thinks I'm bad for you."
I felt my brow knot. "Why would she think that?"
"I don't know…" he mumbled, his forehead knotting behind the frustration in his voice. "Because I'm such a fucking train wreck, I guess."
I immediately shook my head, insistent.
"You're not—you're not bad for me!" I stated emphatically.
His broke into a small, responsive smile, before it grew warm and toothy. "Anyway," he said after a moment, burying his face against my hair, "it'll all be worth it the next time we see that fucking weasel, Newton."
I almost laughed, and I would have if I wasn't filling with so much pessimism. Instead, I pressed my face against his chest, breathing him in deeply. I kept my thoughts focused on the present, telling myself there was nothing to overreact to, but a sense of inevitability was beginning to wash over me.
"It isn't going to work, is it?" I eventually asked in a whisper, before looking up to meet his ever intense gaze, elaborating, as my voice softly broke, "You and me..."
He opened his mouth to reply, when he paused, and only gazed at me for a long moment; his eyes wide and full of pain.
"Why would you say that?" he eventually asked, the tone of his voice cementing exactly how much my words had hurt him.
I shook my head, trying to hold off the tears as I did, because I needed him to understand. "Because ... I have too much baggage—and I bring out the worst in you."
He expelled the air in his lungs into a frustrated sounding sigh. "Bella ... no one said we have to be perfect. I know I'm a bad tempered prick most of the time, and you're a stubborn pain in the ass"—his lips twitched slightly, causing me to break into a small smile—"but everyone has shit to work on, and we're no different."
I nodded, biting down on my bottom lip, my brow heavily creased to prevent myself from crying. It didn't work, and Edward immediately encircled me in his arms.
"Do you want us to work?" he asked softly after a moment, and there was a vulnerability in his tone.
"Of course I do," I insisted, passionately, gripping him to me tighter, before pulling back to look at him. "I just want one week without something happening that pulls us apart, and where I feel like I have no control over anything!" My voice rose in frustration, while inside I was filling with hopelessness.
Nodding in understanding, he curved his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me against his chest. "I know..."
Taking several deep, heavy breaths, I closed my eyes and allowed myself to calm. I focused on Edward's hands as they ran up and down my arms and over my shoulders, and his lips as they pressed against the top of my head; flooding me in the warmth of his breath. Until slowly the kinetics of my mindset began to shift; just as they inevitably did with him.
Lifting my head I ran my nose up along his neck and jaw before I planted my lips softly against his. He immediately responded, and as the air gushed from his nose, his hands came to face, where he guided my mouth more open to him.
His body temperature appeared to rapidly increase in just those few moments until he was burning. My body immediately reacted to him, creating that same fire within me.
In the next minute we were stumbling up the stairs, kissing deeply, heatedly, blindly. As usual I was only half aware of what I was doing; fuelled forward and controlled by the sheer physical desire for Edward, and little else.
By the time we got to my room, with Edward collapsing on top of me in the middle of my bed, he was already topless, his shirt on the stairs along with my pyjama bottoms; his jeans falling to his ankles. Clumsily, with his lips not severing from mine, he kicked off his shoes, while the sound of my bed springs began to drown out the rushed sound of our breathing.
For a moment I was oblivious to it, content to lose myself against Edward and the sensation of his hands over me, his mouth taking me further, until his lips paused over mine, and the air suddenly burst from his nose as he silently laughed.
"Oh, fuck no..." he mumbled semi against my mouth, before he pulled himself off me, grabbing my hand as he did, then hauled my mattress off my noisy spring base; letting it drop to the floor beside it.
"Better?" he murmured, his grin growing askew, before drawing me into his arms again and planting his hot lips against mine.
"Better," I pulled back briefly to reply, while Edward used the opportunity to peel my singlet top over my head.
I curled my naked torso against his for a moment, content to feel his supple, heated skin against mine as his fingers grazed up and over my body. Eventually, I allowed his hands to delicately inch between us, run over my breasts, where he cupped them to my face and enclosed his parted mouth again over mine.
"You okay...?" he asked softly, as he slid his nose to the other side of mine to reconnect our lips.
I only hummed in reply into his mouth, closing my eyes and surrendering myself against him.
I allowed him to take control, as I slowly emerged from the complete abstraction of burning arousal to prepare myself physically. I let him keep me as distracted as I could, so I wouldn't focus on every action he made—so I wouldn't clam up—in hopes that it wouldn't hurt so much this time.
It did anyway. The moment he pushed into me, I immediately locked up, sucking in my breath. In fact, it hurt more than it did in the back of my car earlier, and it was really beginning to frustrate me.
I tried my best to mask it from him, while attempting to release myself from the sensation, but I wasn't fooling him.
He paused and rested his lips heavily on my forehead. "Relax ... Bella."
"I'm fine—stop worrying about me!" I insisted.
Exhaling shortly through his nose in obvious amusement, he moved into me again, deliberately slowing himself down.
I concentrated on his chest as it pushed repeatedly up and against mine, his warm breath as it flooded over the side of my face; and his hands as they entwined around mine, squeezing...
It wasn't about physical pain or even desire for me, but having this moment with Edward, letting him in and embracing this intimacy with him. It still surprised me how much I yearned for it—how much I craved that connection with him.
He was going longer than he had earlier, and he was getting tired. His body was becoming heavy over me and beginning to shake, his face dragging over mine, while I could feel his heart pounding from every pore of his dampening skin. It was then that he seemed to almost literally explode, physically and verbally reacting to it in such a raw and rustic way that again it ignited that spark in me where his was dimming.
"Fucking hell..." he managed to utter breathlessly, relaxing his entire weight on me as his heart continued to hammer rapidly within him.
I released my breath fully, physically relieved it was over, but as usual, emotionally engulfed. Running my fingers into Edward's dampening hair, I cradled his head to my chest as he came down. He seemed to be barely conscious, and as I pushed my fringe back from my face, feeling more and more overwhelmed, I ended up in soft laughter.
"What's so funny?" he mumbled, sounding almost drunk.
"You. You're a wet noodle," I teased him affectionately, wrapping my hand back around his neck.
"I love you, baby…" he half spoke in a murmur, half humming.
I chuckled softly, pressing my lips to the top of his head. "You're not in full control of your reason yet, cheeseball."
"Sap..." he mumbled with even less coherency.
A moment later he fell asleep flush on top of me and still inside me, snoring softly as I caressed my fingers gently over his brow and into his hair.
He was so heavy I was beginning to feel suffocatingly overheated, so after successfully managing to roll him off me, without fully waking him, I curled myself further in his arms and followed him into sleep.
. . .
We were awoken an hour later by that bloody ridiculous sounding rap song that was my iPhone ringtone.
Jolting against me, Edward rose his head groggily, looking around the room with his brow knotted.
"What the hell is that noise?" he mumbled.
"My phone. Can you get it?" I murmured into his chest, sleepily.
It was sitting on my bedside table.
Pulling his torso off me, he reached out and grabbed it. "Alice," he said in a croaky voice before putting it to his ear.
She was coming to pick him up.
With a reluctant sigh, Edward pulled himself off me, and with the absence of his body heat I was immediately cold. Shivering, I rushed to cover myself with my doona, my eyes not leaving his naked silhouette from the dim moonlight as he yanked on his jeans.
He left my bedroom, returning a moment later pulling his t-shirt over his head one handed; my pyjama bottoms were in his other.
"Might not want to leave these where your uncle will find them," he said, kneeling down to me, a sleepy, charming grin growing across his face.
I smiled back with added affection, wanting to pull him back to me for five minutes more, but grudgingly, I pulled myself to my feet and hastily got myself dressed.
We waited on the porch for Alice, just as I had done a couple of hours earlier, and when she arrived, Edward drew me tightly into his arms.
"Remember, it's just for three weeks," he reminded me in a husky whisper.
With my face pressed to his chest, I nodded in resignation, taking a deep breath in and clinging to him for a moment longer.
"You're not gonna go all sappy on me now, are you?" he teased me in a tender voice.
I laughed gently, shoving him playfully, before pushing off him and tilting my head back to meet his lips. It was brief, before his kiss connected to my cheek, my forehead, then back to my mouth, where it deepened.
Stretching on my toes, I wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him tighter against me, wanting to prolong this moment for as long as I could.
He rested his lips against the top of my head momentarily, before he inevitably released me, and turned to walk down the steps.
But grabbing his hand I pulled him back, stretching up to whisper into his ear, "In three weeks we'll no longer need condoms."
He moved back to look at me, his grin becoming sly and devious, before he replied in a teasing murmur, "In three weeks I will make you scream my name so loudly, Nummi and Rach will hear you all the way in Australia."
My eyes immediately widened, causing him to break into soft laughter
I nudged him, my smile becoming wry. "Hurry back, stranger."
He kissed me one last time, tender, but brief. "Later, alligator."
Again he turned to leave and again I grabbed his hand.
"I love you," I told him when his eyes again met mine. My voice was soft and a little too affected.
His smile this time was charming, but raw, before he teased me, "Bloody hell, woman; you're becoming such a pain in the ass."
"Always mocking me." I pushed him playfully, the wryness to my grin quickly turning affectionate.
It was inevitable.
He smiled, laughing softly with it, before lightly tipping my chin and finally turning to leave.
I stood on the doorstep and watched him go, fighting to keep my fractured emotions from reflecting on my face. Before getting in Alice's car, he turned, throwing me one last tender smile, and then he was gone.
. . .
I trudged back upstairs to my room, my brow aching as I stubbornly repressed my tears; even as I commanded myself to hold strong.
This would be good for us, I told myself repeatedly. We'd been through so much for such a short time of being together, after all; a break would be good.
It'd set us on a new, more positive trajectory.
My room was in a shambles, and it helped lighten my mood as my mind replayed the last moments I'd had with Edward as I tidied it up and shoved my mattress back on its base. In fact, I was so caught up in it, that when Jacob came through the front door, slamming it so hard the entire house shook, I almost jumped ten feet out of my skin.
In surprise, I pulled open my door just as he was walking passed. His jaw was clenched, his face flushed and contorted, looking nothing short of irate.
"Jake, what's…" I managed to ask, before he disappeared into his bedroom, slamming that door with just as much volatility, and making me wince.
With an internal groan that quickly became audible with growing frustration—knowing exactly what this was about—I knocked on his door quietly, hesitantly. "Jake? Can I come in?"
"Yeah, Bells," he replied. It didn't sound like him at all; there was a bitter edge to his tone.
Apprehensively, I opened the door; Jake was sitting stiffly on his bed, his head resting in his palms.
Sitting beside him, I wrapped my arm over his drawn shoulders. "You know what happened tonight, don't you?"
"You mean Cullen beating the crap out of that dickwad, Newton? Yep!" he answered, bitterly.
I paused with uncertainty, before I breached, "Are you angry at him?"
"At who?" He removed his head from his hands to look at me. His dark eyes were blazing. I'd never seen him like this before.
"Edward," I answered quietly.
He scoffed sarcastically. "Of course I'm not. He did exactly what I would have done."
Taking a relieved breath, I tightened my arm around him, making my voice more consoling. "But Nessie's angry..."
"Nessie wanted me to kick Edward's ass, and when I told her I wouldn't she broke up with me," he stated bluntly, his tone void of emotion.
"What?!" I exclaimed, immediately annoyed.
He shrugged shortly.
"Oh fuck that!" I burst, getting off his bed and striding angrily into my room, before snatching up my phone.
Nessie answered after the third ring, already sounding defensive. "I don't want to talk about it, Bella!"
"Well too bad, because this is bullshit, Nessie!" I snapped.
"Oh give me a break," Nessie retorted, her tone sarcastic. "You're blind when it comes to Edward, and you've brainwashed Jake. I hope you're happy!"
I huffed out my breath, pissed off and struggling to control my sudden anger. "I'm blind, am I? What do you think Jake would do if Edward put his hands all over you?"
She snorted. "That's not what happened!"
"The hell?" I screeched. "I was the one he did it to—why do you think Edward wasn't charged with anything?"
"Um … maybe because your uncle is the chief of police," she answered, her tone turning patronising.
I was fuming. "Okay, first, that's a huge insult to Jacob's father, and second, Edward wasn't charged because the manager of the Thriftway, as well as several employees, saw what happened."
She was quiet, and the longer she was the more pissed off I became.
"Nessie, me and Edward have nothing to do with you and Jake," I ranted, "and you have no right to put Jake in that position. You know, you mustn't really love him like he loves you, because when your asshole of a brother was going around spreading lies about me, Jake never once threatened to break up with you if you didn't make him shut up."
More silence.
Exasperated, my patience snapped. "Well since you have nothing else to say, I'm going. I've had enough bullshit for one night!" I hung up, throwing my phone on my bed in disgust and whirling around with my arms crossed, fuming further to myself.
"Thanks, Bella," Jake said, his tone softer.
I looked up and caught his gaze as he stood in the door way, a begrudging smile on his face. I only smiled back in reply, before I walked over to him, pulling him down to wrap my arms around his back. "I'm sorry, Jake."
"It's not your fault, Bells. This was coming for a while," he admitted, squeezing me in return.
I pulled back to gaze at him quizzically. "It was?"
"Yeah," he said simply with half a shrug. "Wanna chat?"
"Sure."
While Jake sat in front of the TV flicking through channels, I headed to the kitchen. Making two cups of cocoa, and grabbing a tub of choc chip ice cream from the freezer, I joined him in the living room.
"This is how us girls do it," I said lightly, setting it all down on the coffee table and handing him a spoon.
He took it with an abashed grin, and after taking several mouthfuls of ice cream in silence he finally spoke up, meeting my gaze earnestly. "The truth is, Bells ... I've been thinking of breaking up with Ness for a while."
I almost choked on my hot chocolate.
"Um—what?" I uttered in disbelief.
He chuckled lightly, shrugging his shoulders. "It's true. I mean she's so possessive and jealous. I can't go anywhere with the boys without her hounding me to make sure I'm not with no other girls."
"Really?" I asked, feeling my brow quirk. "You never said a word."
"Well, I didn't want to bother you. I mean, with your pal in Australia..." he abandoned it, breaking my gaze and rubbing the back of his neck.
"Yeah..." I mumbled quietly, with a tightening in my chest that I pushed aside stubbornly.
He took a gulp of his cocoa, seeming in contemplation, and when he met my eyes again he expanded on it, "Everyone thinks we're really—what do you call it? Sloppy?" His lips twitched ironically. I only laughed shortly and nodded for him to continue. "But it's her more than me. I mean, I won't say no"—his expression turned devious for a moment—"but it's all the time."
I nodded in understanding, remaining almost incredulous. "I never expected this—ever, and this afternoon you made that arrangement with me..."
He blushed, his grin lopsided and sheepish. "Yeah, I mean, I kinda wanted to make it work, because I like having a girlfriend."
I shook my head to myself, my thoughts probing back over the last several months regarding him and Nessie. "I had no idea she was so possessive," I finally admitted.
He nodded emphatically. "Hell yeah, she is. Like, last week when I was out with Sam and the guys at the movies, she turned up—and she always does shit like that."
"Yeah, that's not good," I replied in agreement.
"Plus…" Jake's expression suddenly turned sly, only his face was going a deep shade of red.
"Plus?"
"Plus, I've kinda been hanging with Leah..." He bit down on his bottom lip and broke eye contact.
"Leah…?" I asked blankly.
Good grief, did I know my cousin at all?
"Leah Clearwater," he explained. "You know? Seth's sister?"
I nodded slowly. I knew who she was, but I was just stumped by this whole conversation. "Um … wow…?"
"What? Bells, what—you don't like her?" He suddenly seemed anxious.
I shook my head quickly. "No, it's not that. I'm just having a hard time wrapping my head around all this."
He slung his arm heavily over my shoulder, squeezing me good-naturedly. "Bells, you were kinda disengaged there for a while."
I exhaled into a guilty sigh. "Yeah, I was..." I admitted before I snapped my head up with piqued interest. "Okay, well you're gonna have to fill me in on it all now."
His grin broadened, before he shrugged again, embarrassed. "I dunno. She's cool, and we have a lot in common, ya know? She's really into mechanics, like me."
I nodded, my grin growing teasing.
He nudged me, his face flooding deeper. "Bells ... come on..."
"Well ... is this … thing mutual?"
He took a heavy breath, his eyes conflicted. "That I don't know—maybe. But, I didn't know what I wanted with Nessie, and my head was kinda all over the place, ya know?"
"I completely get that, Jake. My head is all over the place most of the times, these days," I confessed, scoffing humourlessly.
Jake didn't reply, and I found myself becoming lost in thought, only to be broken out of it as he nudged me again.
"Reckon you and Edward will make it, Bells?" he asked.
My eyes rose to meet his; they were sincere. I smiled at him warmly, before answering behind a huge, weary-filled sigh. "Whether we will make it or not isn't the right question with us. For me it's whether Edward will be annexed to my soul for the rest of my life."
He grinned full of cynical amusement. "Jeez, Bells, that's pretty corny for you."
I laughed lightly, dryly. "I know, but since Australia ... I don't know... I have this connection with him that I'm not sure was exactly voluntary."
His brow bunched and the longer he gazed at me the more dubious his expression became. "Bells ... you think too much, and everyone knows Cullen is an uptight asshole. The two of you just need to seriously chill."
I opened my mouth to reply, before stopping myself and breaking into a short, ironic laugh.
In one sentence Jacob had completely defined me and Edward. If he got it, why the hell couldn't I—why couldn't Edward?
Maybe the right question really was: were Edward and I going to make it?
A/N: Nessie and Jake-did anyone see that coming? I didn't!
Thanks for reading. Leave a review if you want, if not, see you for the very end.
** kiss**
:)