Tris

One thing my mind yells while I lay in bed staring at the wall is "Stop moping and pouting like a child and get your ass up and do something productive," so thats exactly what I do. Take a shower and throw on clean clothes ironically all black. I do my best to clean off the makeup but it is still dark around my eyelashes. As I clean my face I stare into my eyes, my blue grey stormy eyes, like the white water of a wave during a hurricane. Thinking back at when I think I fell for Four, I guess it was when he picked me up during his water balloon fight and we got soaked. My lips pull into a smile at the memory, at the way he was looking at me, like we were friends and possibly more. I think that part of me did want to stay there with him rather than go to the mall. Though Marlene told me he liked me after that. And then I fucked up. Being the jealous idiot that I am. Asking myself again and again why I don't go and fix this, I always come up with a different answer. He'll cheat on me, or how can you be friends with someone who tried to kiss you? There's way too much sexualty between us, it would be awkward. Skinny love is evident and I'll end up hurting him or he'll hurt me.

It was always something.

Christina is at school right now, and after Four, I'm sure Lauren doesn't want to hang out anymore. I would call Marlene, but she's probably with Uriah, and the same goes for Shauna and Zeke. God, that can't be all the people I talk to. I could go to work, and get some counseling, but it's 7:50. They wouldn't be home on a Friday night. Molly maybe? No, she's not been around since the party. God, what could I do alone? I look in the mirror, at myself. I notice how my skin is clear, how my ears were never pierced. I can fix that. Making this decision I grab my phone and keys, checking the apartment for anything out of place. Finding nothing and locking the door I make my way downstairs and hop in my car.

It takes a good twenty minutes to find a good tattoo and piercing parlour, but hell, I've got all the time in the world. I park and enter the small building. On the inside it doesn't appear small though, it's a spunky place with glass countertops and everything it displays are studs or gages for ears to body piercings. There's a girl with auburn hair already getting a tattoo a man. A cross on the left side of the back of her neck. I look to my right, finding a woman of asian descent, writing something down. Her hair is long and black, and her body is slim. Her ears covered in piercings, and her shoulders both holding inked in figures. I step up and clear my throat, her eyes snap up to mine. A very dark color. "Hi," I say, glancing at her name tag.

"Hey," She straightens, "How can I help you?"

"Uhm," I stutter,

"Ink or piercing?" She asked,

"Both," Her eyes scan my ears and body,

"Okay," she nods, "I'm Tori, and I'll be with you in just a minute alright? I'll be doing your tattoo first, but while I get everything I need you to fill this out," She says, pulling out a grey sheet of paper. She gives me a perfect smile. "Do you have any idea of what you would like?"

"Uhm, no," I say, "I've never done anything like this before," She smiles wider at me, before walking off to the back room. I look down at the paper, filling out my name, age, payment option, what I'm getting, and various other things. I'm just about done when she says "Tris?" I flinch and look at her,

"Yes?"

"Pretty name, short for something?"

"Beatrice," I tell her, she smiles.

"Sorry for looming over your shoulder, but if you're ready you can go and sit right there okay?"

"Do you have any tattoo options that I could look at?" she walks next to me and shows me a binder of tattoos that I could get, I nod my thanks while she walks over to the chair. I skim through most of the pages until I find a bird, a raven, mid flight. I stare at it a moment, then a minute, then five. "Tori?" She's by my side in seconds, I point at it, "Can I get this one?"

"Yeah, any special requests? Or just that?" I think a moment,

"Could you do three of them? Flying to my heart?" I pull my shirt down and trace my finger along my collar to my heart, she nods and smiles yet again. I take the picture with and sit in the chair. She asks me to remove my shirt so it's easier and I comply swiftly. I sit there for about an hour, maybe a little less while she inks my skin in black. When she's done, she wipes some oil or chemical on it, before placing a bandage over it. Then she gets up and puts the needles away. Coming back with a small gun in her hand and a box in the other. She sits next to me and says, "Now your ears alright?" I nod, "Where would you like them?"

"Uhm, the lobe please, I don't know if it will hurt," I admit, she nods with a small smile, showing me the box. "Pick wich stud color you would like, youll keep these in for about two months, otherwise the hole will close and heal."

"Okay," I say, looking at all the options. Most are designs like crosses or hearts, or anchors, even a cat. Though the simple stones catch my eyes. There one in particular that gets to me, it hurts but makes me happy at the same time, a dark blue stone, like the ocean. I point to it and she smiles, "Okay, lean back against the chair for me please," I do so while she loads the needle gun, "It'll make a click, but that's the worst of it," She cleans each ear, and marks the spot with a sharpie, then positions the gun, "On three, one-" The click happens and then theres a hole there. It doesn't really hurt. She does the other ear exactly the same, except on two. Soon we're done and both smiling, I get up and walk up to the mirror to check everything out while she cleans up a little. My eyes look silver, like the cold steel with these ear rings. I offer a smile and I catch a glimpse of pretty. Tori walks up and compliments me, and then I pay, in cash. Which, was about 120, because the ear ring is real silver and stone. I make a note to come back here. She gives me instructions on cleaning the tattoos and my ears, and what and what not to do.

After the explanations I hop in my car and leave, driving past a park, making another note as to visit it tomorrow. Upon parking my phone rings, I pull it out, not looking at the ID. "Hallo?" I say in an accent,

"Beatrice," A boyish voice says on the other side.

"Caleb?" I kill the engine.

"Heyy, how are you?"

"I'm fine," I say in habit.

"Bullshit," wow, he's never cursed before. I listen closer and hear the steady pound of bass and music. "Caleb, are you at a bar?"

"Yes," he slurs.

"What are you doing at a bar?"

"I'm with some friends," he laughs.

"You can't have called me to ask how I was doing, what do you need?" I ask him,

"Oh," he pauses, "Your friend, Christina, I think, called me. Telling me you were in some sort of rut," he says.

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not," Dammit Christina, "Doesn't matter now," I tell him.

"No Beatrice, tell me what happened."

"A guy," I huff, he's drunk anyway, theres no way he'll remember anyway.

"Do I need to kill someone?" He asks, suddenly serious.

"No no, nothing like that, I just," I pause, did he really deserve getting hurt? I told him to leave me alone in the end, no correction, I told him to fuck off. "Just what Bea?"

"I messed up Caleb," I say, and before I can stop myself, I start crying.

"Bea, what happened?"

"I like this guy, and I'm pretty sure he likes me, but, he only likes me, and I hardly know him. I don't know if he likes me for me or my looks. He's handsome and smart and honest, Caleb, he was almost perfect, no he was. I only looked at the fact that he was a player, and I'm sure he still is, but Caleb he kissed me and I kissed him but he was drunk. God Caleb I loved it, I loved the way he felt. But I messed up so bad, I told him to f-fuck off," I sob into the phone, "I'm so scared of getting hurt, I don't want to be alone, he hugged me and tried to apologize but I shut him down like a bitch. He said I'm the only thing on his mind, that he hasn't even looked at another girl for me. I'm miserable without him and I told him to go. Caleb, I lost him, I lost the one guy I liked," He's quiet for a while,

"Bea, let me tell you something about guys," I sniffle, "Once they find something they like, something they want, they will stop at nothing to get it. Now, when it comes to a person they love, they'll never stop until they die, if this guy really likes you. Bea, you didn't lose him, you can still get him back,"

"H-how?" I hiccup,

"If you could say anything to him, right now, what would you say?"

"I'm-m s-sory Four, I'm so sorry, you're on my mind too, I wanted to hug you back, hell I wanted to kiss you and make everything okay, but I choose the easier thing to do and yelled at you. You don't deserve that, I'm sorry Four, for everything," And thats when I hear a warm, deep, familiar voice that I've found myself longing for.

"Apology accepted, Tris," Four says.

I'm sorry for no updates!