Chapter 4- Burden

AN: Hey I'm back I know it's been a year but as usual I've had life to contend with so I'm back and this story will get finished even if it kills me. Thank you all those who have been patient. I will probably update twice a week.

Warnings- slightly disturbing themes ahead and swearing.

Disclaimer- I don't own FF8 and don't make any profit (these disclaimers are getting smaller)

Enjoy X

Chapter 4- Burden

Rinoa walked slowly through the car park that led to Squall's office, she hoped there wasn't a uniform requirement, she was way too warm, she'd resorted to taking her spare duster off and slinging it over her arm. The air wasn't this warm when I left my dorm, was it Rinoa thought. Angelo was bouncing merrily along weaving in and out of the parked cars.

Rinoa lovingly stroked her fingers over a black Audi R8, she had no idea whose car it was, obviously someone with money. She thought back to a memory with her father, she'd just turned 17 and it was when she first started to campaign with the forest owls, back then they were environmentalists who opposed plans for a new industrial site on a nature reserve, her father had bribed her with a red convertible to stop the protest. That was the time she moved out and lived with Watts and Zone, she made it clear to her father that she wouldn't be brought with expensive gifts if he had offered the year before she would have taken the car, anything to fit in with the other girls in her old friendship group.

She stopped outside of the office block lead at the ready. Angelo had been well trained to come to her when she had the lead out. Rinoa hooked the D-Link to the dog's collar and walked in.

Now that Angelo was off his lap he could really study her, the blue duster she always wore was slung over her arm, it was a cold autumn day so why was she walking around with a vest top, that said she did look feverish. Squall noticed that her cheeks were red her hair was slightly damp from sweat: she didn't look well at all.

"Rinoa are you ok" Squall asked concern in his voice.

"Yeah I'm better now I think I'm just fighting off the rest of this cold"

Squall's eyes narrowed, well that wasn't what he'd been told, Odine said she'd had a highly contagious stomach bug which I why he hadn't gone to see her. He let it slide however he would be having words with Odine after the meeting.

"Rin take a seat and I'll go over the plan for today"

Squall watched Rinoa with his SeeD eyes, she hung her duster up on one of the coat pegs, she didn't seem to notice the red stain or if she did thought nothing of it but he was too curious.

"What's that red stain" Squall asked.

"It's just red wine from the celebration night since that was the only celebratory thing I've done all year I think I should have gone to another but my invitation must have been lost in the post" Rinoa replied bitterly.

Squall was taken back by her tone he knew she had a mean streak but it was more of a childish ploy for attention. It could only mean one thing although it came as no surprise, he'd known she was there.

"You mean the award ceremony"

"Yes, Squall I was there, I watched you all pick up your awards and your goodies whilst so many young people looked at you in awe like they wanted to be you and little me was stood at the back hearing them say horrendous things about my kind, have you forgotten that I'm a sorceress, Squall?"

Squall narrowed his eyes. "Rinoa sit the fuck down" he said calmly, almost too calmly. If she was any closer to him he'd have taken her over his knee and made her ass sore. Rinoa deciding not to test him anymore sat down, her eyes never leaving his face, she'd been taught by her father to always look at her opponents in the face, it was a weakness to waver. She didn't regret her words but she did feel guilty about the only person who'd ever really cared for her. In a way, she was glad that she was a sorceress they probably wouldn't have fallen in love and the others would probably just left her like she was nothing special; ship her back to her father.

"Rin, I also was pissed off, for your sake but you have to trust us, Cid and Edea to keep you safe, there are a lot of people who either want you dead or captured".

Rinoa looked down at her hands on her lap, she knew Cid's reasoning for not acknowledging her but why had she exploded like that, she'd never been angry like that especially aimed at someone she loved.

"I'm sorry Squall I understand but I spoke without thinking, I should be more grateful since the only thing keeping me here is you, anyway what do you want me to do first".

Squall watched Rinoa, her eyes were glossy like she was about to cry he hated this, her self-esteem issues and her lack of self-worth wasn't something he could face for her, he wished he could take on her burdens but he couldn't.

"It's ok Rinoa I'm not mad, I just don't like seeing you in this state". Squall reached over the desk and entwined his fingers through hers even though he was wearing his gloves he could still feel the heat from her hand, her face lit up in a wide smile and she gripped his hand tighter. Squall blushed and let go already missing the contact.

"Yeah so, your job today is to deliver some items, your first one is to the new Finance guy, Belmont, it's just some files that he needs to sign and when you get back I'll be in a meeting so I guess you could go to the café or whatever".

"What's the meeting about?" Rinoa asked. Squall gave her a pained expression he wanted to tell her but he couldn't cause she'd only want to come and possibly give away her cover.

"Oh, I get it, just give me them files, is Angelo ok to come here with me whilst I do this, I don't really know what to do with her"

"Yeah, she's fine, I can always talk to people about dog sitting her if it would help" Squall replied as he handed her the black A4 ring binder.

"Umm let me think about it, I'll try and be as quick as possible" Rinoa stood up quickly, she wanted to please Squall and to prove that she could be more here instead of the commander's girlfriend if she could call herself that.

Squall watched her leave Angelo following on her heels. The door closed with a soft click but it seemed to vibrate against the whole room, these past few days he had missed her presence to the point where his sleep was disturbed by the thought of her. They'd already started the bond and he was barely hanging on, Edea promised that it would get better and that's all he had to go off it wasn't like he could pose question about the bond on online forums.

He leaned back in the chair and sighed, the others would be here shortly for the mission brief, he felt bad not talking to Rin about the mission it almost felt like a betrayal. The masquerade ball was tomorrow and he doubted he would be able to spend a lot of time with Rinoa since he had to do his commander duties but he had the perfect idea.

A loud exuberant knock arrived on the door and both Selphie and Zell barged through the door nearly on top of each other. Quistis and Irvine were stood back from the door they'd obviously been waiting for a reply to enter. Squall watched Zell turn his head towards the door and hold his hand out; a small pale hand gripped his much larger one and a mass of wild curly ginger hair came into view.

Squall nodded towards Zell's girlfriend; this was Willow or library girl as everyone used to call her. She was a computer whizz with unbelievable talent for programming and hacking but she was also a deadly shot with a bow. It was sweet watching them interact and an odd sight to see Zell so gentlemanly with her. Willow was the ying to Zell's yang the fragile and shy to his boisterous. Much like him and Rinoa but in reverse.

"Everyone take a seat so we can start, I've sent Rinoa on her way remember nothing said leaves this room". They surrounded the table in the centre of the room, Squall got up and handed out the files.

"By now you should have read the brief and know what your role is in this mission but I'll go over everything anyway. Team Alpha is Irvine and myself, team Beta will be Selphie and Zell and team Omega is Quistis and Willow. Omega will be our eyes and ears watching the movement of the target and also keeping track of us in case we need to void the mission. Beta will be the negotiators remember the aim is to apprehend the sorceress not hurt her, we need to use communication first than if that goes tits up I will give Irvine the command to shoot her with a tranq, any questions".

Selphie raised her hand. "What are the accommodations and why isn't Rinoa coming with?"

Squall knew Rinoa would somehow come up during the brief they'd been a party all year so having to do a mission without her felt strange, like they were missing a vital part.

"We are staying at the palace, Lag… I mean President Loire insisted we stay there, we fly out to Esthar the morning after the ball and Rinoa doesn't even know about the mission because it's a conflict of interest".

The room went quiet if was true though she would be biased, if the mission went wrong and the girl started to become hostile they would only have two chances to reign her in than it would be a matter of them or her, something he hoped he wouldn't have to do; yes, he'd killed innocents before but he didn't want to be treated like a monster.

"Rinoa would only be a burden and get in the way" Squall said solemnly, his hand suddenly rubbed the back of his neck the hairs were standing up and a shiver went down his spine, what was going on?

Rinoa walked quickly back through the carpark, she'd done her first job even though it was small she felt like she had accomplished something. Angelo stopped sniffed the air and growled, Rinoa followed her to an alley. A red liquid dripped down the walls leaving puddles on the floor, she stepped back from the wall it looked like the liquid had been used to write something or rather draw symbols that looked strangely familiar. Rinoa reached into her pocket and grabbed a tissue her hand slowly stretched to one of the puddles she watched as the red liquid spread over the tissue destroying any white.

Another growl this one angry made Rinoa quickly put the tissue back in her pocket and look behind her. Seifer stood against the wall his arms crossed against his chest and a wicked smirk on his face.

"Well hey princess" he said, a voice she knew well.

"I'm honoured to have actually shut you up for the first time what's wrong the big bad sorceress afraid of an inferior human".

Rinoa was speechless she never expected to see Seifer again she thought he was in prison or dead, the arrogant streak was still there but something else crossed his face, something she'd never seen before; was Seifer afraid of her?

"what the hell are you doing here Seifer I thought you were in prison" Rinoa whispered, she still couldn't believe it, was she dreaming?

"Well technically I should be rotting in a grave somewhere if it wasn't for puberty boy I'd have been executed so now I'm here having to fucking redo classes".

"How dare you Seifer, Squall saved your life and this is how you act by being ungrateful are you honestly playing the victim here when you deserve to be 6 feet under" Rinoa shouted.

Seifer shrugged. "Do you think he'll show you the same kindness when you become the next Ultimecia or will he shove his gun blade through your heart, which do you think will be the kindest action?"

"Your wrong Seifer, unlike you he's my real knight the love of my life, I can't turn bad".

Seifer laughed in her face his eyes turning ugly and cruel. "Don't be stupid Rin it's already happening you're in denial, this is the calm before the storm take it from somebody that knows; Squall wouldn't be able to kill you anyway cause you've got him wrapped around your slutty little finger"

And that was the breaking point, Rinoa grabbed him by the neck and shoved him against the wall her fingers tightened, constricting his throat making his breaths laboured and harsh. She could feel her eyes tearing up indicating that they were changing colour, a lick on her free hand snapped her out of it.

Rinoa stepped away from Seifer and watched as he rang away looking back in fear. Angelo was laid at her feet whimpering in fear but also trying to comfort Rinoa as well. She felt a dripping sensation coming down her chin her hand wiped across her face, she had a nose bleed and the only thing she could have wiped it away with was the tissue but that was already stained with the liquid that was… had been on the wall.

Rinoa wrapped her arms around her stomach she was going to be sick and she still had to clear her nose up. Squall's office was just around the corner, she would tell him everything about her, about Seifer, the visions. She ran through the courtyard and up to Squall's room. Oh, shit she forgot he must be in that meeting well if she said it was an emergency he would help right.

She was about to knock when she heard Squall speak 'Rinoa would only be a burden and get in the way' her eyes watered and she could feel her heart physically breaking. Rinoa ran and ran not caring where she was going or to who but anywhere away from here.

Squall opened the door to let the others out, he hated not being able to tell Rinoa of the mission, it felt like heartache. Before he closed the door, a red shimmer caught his eye. A barely noticeable patch of blood, whose was it maybe one of them had a cut but his instincts thought differently.

Songs

Kaleo- way down we go

Linkin park- Faint