Chapter 16: French Toast and Conversations

Unfortunately, I couldn't sleep in like I wanted to. I was just too used to waking up for Little One. I got up at six and decided to go for a jog, knowing Bella wasn't planning breakfast until at least nine. As I made my way through the trail, my mind wandered back to last night. It probably wasn't the most exciting date that there had ever been, but it was . . . nice. I learned a little more about her, like her last and only boyfriend. Fucking moron. Honestly, cheating on Bella? How could someone want to hurt someone so . . . kind, so sweet? It seemed like a crime to do that. No wonder she hadn't been with anyone else for a year. That could have been why she was so reserved with me.

Did she think I could do that? My track record probably didn't boast well for her to believe otherwise, but I'd neverdo that. If we did make this work, I had to make sure she knew she'd be the only one. I had gone two months without sleeping around, and I knew she'd noticed I'd changed, so hopefully she'd believe me. The only question I had for myself was if I was really ready for a relationship. I wasn't ready for a kid, but I managed it. I changed for Sofia in ways I never thought I could. I could change for Bella if this worked out. I'd have to stop things, like glancing at the women who ran past me, jiggling so perfectly. But I could do that if it meant something better, I guess. Fuck if I knew. Hell, we just had our first date, so why was I already thinking about this?

I shook my head, changed my iPod to a different playlist, and kept going, deciding to put that to the back of my mind for now.

By the time I got back in my apartment, it was only seven-thirty. I knew Mom and Dad would be up, so I decided to check in on my little one to see if she did all right.

"You're up early," Mom answered.

"Good morning to you, too," I said, pouring a cup of coffee. "Is Sofia still asleep?"

"No, she just got up. Your dad is giving her a bottle now."

"How'd she do?"

She sighed. "She was fussy last night when she realized you weren't coming back, but we got her calmed down. She's done fine, Edward."

"Bella even said she was fussy at first when I left her with her."

"She just misses her daddy when he's not there," she laughed softly. "It's sweet. She calms down quickly, though, so don't worry about it."

"Good. I'll probably come get her around noon. Is that all right?"

"That's fine. So, how was the date?" I could almost hear her smirk.

"It's was nice. I took her to that Italian restaurant by the waterfront. We had a good time."

"Did you behave?" I heard Dad ask in the background.

"Do you two realize that's none of your business?" I asked. "It's rude to ask your son if he slept with someone."

"Well, did you?" Mom asked.

I sighed and ran my hand over my face. "No, okay? And don't ask again because I'm not going to tell you."

"Will you tell me when you do?"

"No!"

She laughed. "Okay. Gosh, I was kidding."

"Somehow, I don't think you were. Call me if you need anything . . . regarding Sofia."

"I will. We'll see you later. Love you."

"Yeah, love you, too," I said, hanging up the phone.

I decided my parents — more specifically my mother — were too interested in their thirty-year-old son's love life.

. . . . .

"You're earlier than I thought," I said, opening the door a little wider for Bella. "And you have no food."

She laughed softly, making her way toward my kitchen. "I'm teaching you, right? So we're doing this together."

"I can make eggs," I said.

"How about french toast? Do you have syrup? Powdered sugar?" she asked, going through my cabinet.

"I always have syrup," I said, laughing as I grabbed it from the top shelf for her. "Eggos are a must in this apartment."

She went over to my fridge next. "Good, so I need to go grab powdered sugar, vanilla extract, cinnamon, and sausage. You have everything else, and all the dates are good . . . amazingly," she teased, double checking.

"I'm not that bad . . . anymore. Little One requires me to make frequent trips to the store."

"You used to get milk from a gas station, didn't you?"

"Possibly." I smirked, trapping her against the counter. I brushed my lips against her. "You didn't say good morning," I whispered, kissing her.

She moved her lips with mine, bringing her hand up to my face. She scratched at the stubble I had yet to shave. I felt her giggle softly as she pulled away.

"You're . . . stubbly," she laughed.

"Do you want me to shave?" I asked, running my jaw against her cheek.

She laughed more and pushed me away. "I've got to go get that stuff," she said. I didn't move, and she narrowed her eyes. "I'm serious."

"Fine," I sighed, smirking. "I'm hungry anyway, and I'm not shaving."

When Bella came back, she explained the process of making French toast. I didn't say anything, but, amazingly, I did know how to make it. I let her keep talking, though, because it was clear she liked to teach.

"How many pieces do you want?" she asked, pulling the bread from the bag.

"Would I be a fat ass if I said five?" I laughed.

She smirked and tilted her head, clearly looking at my ass.

"Excuse you," I said. "Somehow, I think that if I did that, I'd be getting slapped."

She rolled her eyes. "You're not as subtle as you think, and I haven't slapped you yet." I stared at her boobs as she spoke, just because I could. "But I might have to," she added, folding her arms over her chest.

"If you don't want me to stare, don't wear low-cut tops," I said, shrugging as I continued to beat the eggs and other shit together for her.

She dropped her arms and pulled more bread out of the bag as I finished the eggs and passed her the bowl. We shared a few more laughs as I burned the first four pieces on one side, which she dubbed mine. Honestly, it was her fault. She distracted me. What with her boobs and ass, it was difficult to stay focused on some damn bread. I was fucking horny. This . . . was going to be difficult. I could kiss her, I could touch her, but I couldn't fuck her. Not yet, at least.

After devouring one of the best damn breakfasts I had eaten in a while, Bella and I laid on the couch, watching a movie. It was Tuesday morning, and there was no way in hell I was watching cartoons or news, so we were left with movies. I found myself sprawled out with Bella between my legs — not in the way I wanted — and her back against my chest.

She turned her head and looked at me. "If I ask you a question, will you promise not to get offended?"

"Starting a question that way doesn't make me feel good, but all right, I won't be offended."

She turned her body so her back was against the couch. "How did you become . . . that person you were before Sofia?"

I cocked my eyebrow and pulled myself up a little. "Are you asking why I used to sleep around?"

She nodded. "I'm just curious. I know it's rude to ask."

"Um . . . well, because I liked it. I realized women liked how I looked, so I used them. I'm a bit ashamed of it now that I'm looking back, but it's the truth. I didn't sleep around because of some unresolved issues or that kind of bullshit. I didn't do for any other reason other than I could. I wanted to, women wanted me, so I did."

She blinked in surprise. "Oh," she whispered.

"I was a bad person. You can say it."

"I . . . I'm not saying that."

"Bella, that's not who I am anymore," I said, brushing my fingers over her cheek.

"It's only been two months."

I pulled my hand away as my eyebrows creased together. "You don't think I've changed?"

She bit her lip and looked down at her lap. It wasn't that endearing nibble I liked. "I'm concerned," she admitted. "But I like the guy you are now. My concern is you're not really over that, and if that's the case . . . I don't want to be with you."

"I won't hurt you," I said, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen out of her eyes. She looked up at me again and smiled a little. "My goal in life before Sofia was to have as much fun as possible. Sex is fun; we both know that. But the moment she came into my life, that goal changed. I have to give her a good life, and I can't do that if I'm sleeping around. So as for going back to how I was, it's not going to happen. Not because of you — though, that's a reason now — but because of her."

She moved a little closer and brushed her fingers against my cheek. "You're a good dad. Do you realize that?"

"I'm doing my best for her."

"You're not just doing this, taking me out, kissing me, making me feel good because you want to sleep with me, are you?"

I sighed. "I want to sleep with you. But no, that's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing this because I like you. I like how you're kind and caring, how you treat my daughter, how you're clearly a good person. I like you. I can honestly say that for once in my life, I'm not using a woman."

"That's what I wanted to know." She smiled, leaning over to kiss my lips. "Thank you for telling me the truth."

"You're beautiful," I said, getting her to blush. "Nibble on your lip for me?" She laughed softly before pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. "That's the nibble I like."

I pulled her back to me and pressed my lips to hers. Our tongues moved together as I brushed my thumb behind her ear. She fucking loved that. I had her panting between kisses. Eventually, I pushed her back so she was laying on the couch as I hovered over her. Her leg lifted and wrapped around my waist as our lips continued to move, parting every once in a while to breathe. My hand moved up her waist like last time, bringing her shirt with it. She didn't stop me this time. I pushed my hand under her bra, lifting it up as I brushed my thumb over her nipple. Oh, fucking hell yes.

"Mmm," she moaned, tilting her head back as I moved my lips to her neck.

I wanted to get her shirt and bra actually off so I could see her, but she stopped me as I went to pull it up the rest of the way.

"No?" I asked.

"Not right now," she said, looking apologetic. "It's just . . ."

"Quick?" She nodded as I pulled the cup of her bra back down along with her shirt. "Okay, taking it slow. Got it."

"I'm sorry."

I shook my head and helped her sit up. "Don't be. I understand."

"It's not that I don't want to, okay?" she asked, resting back into my chest. "Let's just take our time."

"I think I can handle that," I said, kissing the top of her head.

I could handle that, but I seriously needed a fucking cold shower now. I could wait, though. She was worth it.

. . . . .

Bella and I spent the morning watching movies and making out like fucking teenagers. When noon rolled around, she came with me to get Little One from my parent's house. The second we stepped inside, Mom was on her, hugging her before even acknowledging me.

"How are you, Bella?" Mom asked, pulling back.

"I'm great Mrs. Cul—Esme," Bella said, quickly saving it as Mom gave her a look. "I hope you had a good second honeymoon."

Mom smiled. "Oh, it was amazing. Hawaii is beautiful. I just wish we could have stayed longer."

"Hey, Mom, it's good to see you, too," I said as I leaned down for a hug.

"I didn't forget about you," she teased, kissing my cheek. "I was just more excited to see Bella."

I put my hand over my heart after we parted. "Ouch."

She laughed along with Bella as we walked back to the living room. Dad had Sofia sitting up on the couch as he crouched down in front of her. I cocked an eyebrow as I observed the scene. What the hell was he doing? Dad removed his hand from my little one's shoulder, and she started falling to the side.

"She can't hold herself up yet," I said.

He turned his head toward me and smiled. "I'm just trying it out. She can already lift her chest completely off the floor, so I wanted to see."

He picked her up off the couch and walked over, passing her to me. I held her to my chest and kissed her head a few times. "Hey, Little One," I said. "Daddy missed you." I kissed her once more, murmuring that I loved her before looking back up. Of course Mom and Dad had their usual ridiculous grin on their faces. Bella smiled and put her hand against Little One's back, caressing it softly. Sofia's hand reached out toward Bella, and I took it as a sign she wanted her, so I passed her along.

"So," Mom started, "have you decided where you want to go for your birthday dinner?"

Bella's head shot up from kissing Little One. "It's your birthday?"

"Next week," I said. "I was actually going to ask if you wanted to come to dinner with my family, but it slipped my mind."

Her mouth fell open in surprise. Why, I wasn't sure. "Oh, well, if you want me to, I'll come."

"Great," Mom said. "Now Edward just needs to decide what he wants. We could go to the steakhouse."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's fine."

She smiled. "Good, do you work?"

"Yes, so is eight okay?"

"Sounds wonderful. I guess you two want to get going, huh?"

After a lengthy goodbye, which included Mom making plans with Bella on Saturday, we left, heading back to the apartment. I wasn't sure how I felt about my mom and Bella having lunch. Actually, I was. It fucking freaked me out. I knew Mom liked her, so I wasn't worried about her scaring Bella away, but I was just . . . I felt uneasy about it. There was talk of Rosalie joining them, too, so that didn't make it any better. My mother and sister were going to be alone with my . . . what the hell was Bella anyway? Friend? Girlfriend? Woman I was, I guess, dating? We were dating, right? I mean, we had been on a date, but did that qualify as dating? This shit was just fucking confusing and making my head hurt.

"So this is your mom's car?" Bella asked as I drove.

I nodded. "Tanya isn't really kid friendly."

"Tanya?" she laughed, throwing her head back against the rest. "You named your car Tanya?"

"Well, she's sexy as hell, so yes, I named my car Tanya. Are you jealous." I smirked.

She put her hand over her mouth to muffle the laughs as she shook her head.

"It's not weird, you know?" I asked. "People name their cars."

She nodded, lowering her hand. "I know. It's just . . . Tanya? Really?"

"It fits."

"And is Tanya going to be sticking around?"

"You're jealous of my car, aren't you?"

She scoffed. "I swear to you that I am not jealous of your car. I'm just curious why you still have it."

"Her," I corrected.

I looked over at her as she rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm curious why you still have her. Wouldn't it make sense to sell her and get a car that your daughter can ride in?"

"My mom doesn't care if I use this."

"Edward, why won't you sell her?"

I sighed, removing a hand from the wheel to run it through my hair. "I'm not ready, I guess. I had to change how my apartment is, my work schedule . . . my entire life for Sofia. I'm just trying to hold on to one thing that reminds me of . . . my life."

"But that's not your life anymore," she said softly. "Do you honestly want that life back?"

"Well, no, not if it meant losing Sofia. I guess I'm just . . . I don't know. I don't want to sell Tanya yet. I'm not ready."

"I get it," she said, smiling. "But when you are ready, I'll help you."

"No offense, but I'm not sure I like your taste in cars," I laughed.

She smacked my arm. "My truck was a gift from my dad, all right? When it wheezes it's last breath, I'll get a new one."

"I have a feeling that's going to be soon."

"Probably," she said as I pulled into my parking spot.

. . . . .

We spent the rest of the day together, just Bella, Sofia, and me. As I finally got around to doing some chart work and dictations, Bella and Little One played on the floor. It was . . . distracting, let's just say. I couldn't keep my mind on my work because I kept stopping to watch them. Bella was just . . . words couldn't describe how great she was with my daughter. It was natural. Little One was constantly giggling at the things Bella would do, and Bella's smile said it all for her. She was happy.

When Sofia finally went down for a nap, Bella left because she needed to go to the store. I managed to get a good deal of my work done before Little One woke up, screaming her head off. When I got in her room and looked in her crib, I found her flailing her arms and legs as she continued to scream. The happy baby that went down for a nap an hour and a half ago was now gone. I quickly realized why she was so unhappy when I checked her diaper.

"You saved this just for me, didn't you?" I asked, pulling on gloves because I still wasn't willing to touch the shit. "Bella would have been just fine with changing you, but you waited until she left so you could give Daddy this special gift. Well, Daddy doesn't like this type of gift, so all these milestones that you've achieved so early need to include potty training."

Once she was clean and in a new diaper, I brought Little One out to the kitchen so I could make her a bottle. She was in a much better mood as I fed her. Her hand came up and rested on the bottle as she drank happily.

"I can't believe how big you've gotten in just two months," I said, stroking her cheek with my index finger. "I'm going to start you on cereal soon. I'm thinking we'll try it tomorrow night and see how it goes. I'm scared, though, because I have a feeling your 'gifts' are going to be a lot more unpleasant," I laughed.

I shifted her a little, pulling the nipple from her mouth so I could wipe the excess dribble.

"So things with Bella seem to be going well," I said, giving her the bottle back before she became fussy. "She likes me, but she's worried I'll go back to how I was. I won't do that." I shook my head. "And I have you to thank for it. I'm actually pretty fucking glad you came into my life . . . And yes, I need to stop cussing around you. I should start a swear jar or something. You're college fund will be complete by the time you can walk," I laughed.

I pressed my lips to her forehead. "I love you, Little One. I'm still a little clueless about this dad stuff, but you're worth figuring it out for."

Once she was done, I put her against my chest and patted her back. I realized too late that the towel wasn't covering where it should have been. I shuddered as I felt the spit up soak through my shirt.

The joys of fatherhood were endless.