Chapter 20: Flove and Stuff

The next few days passed slowly, even with work and Little One to keep me occupied. Bella and I had texted a few more times, but no calls. She mostly asked about Sofia, and nothing was mentioned about us. I seriously fucking missed her, which felt odd. Only days before I was considering calling it quits, but I now knew that wasn't what I wanted. We'd work it out, as long as she let us. I was worried she'd be pissed at me for doing this shit. It would be understandable, after all. I just hoped she'd let me make it right.

"How one little baby can have this many clothes still makes me scratch my head," I said, folding Sofia's clothes I had just gotten out of the dryer. "Not to mention the blankets."

She looked up at me from her swing, dropping the rattle toy she had been playing with. "Yeah, I'm talking about you," I laughed as she mimicked me and laughed, too. The laughing was a hell of a lot better than her crying fits, which had continued to leave me sleep deprived.

As I laid a folded pile down in the laundry basket, my phone rang from its spot on the end table. I grabbed it and saw Bella's name on the screen. I quickly accepted and put it to my ear. "Hey, Bella," I said. "Are you on your way back?"

"Well, I was," she sighed, sounding frustrated. "I need your help."

I picked up the laundry basket and started walking back toward Little One's nursery. "Of course. What's wrong?"

"My truck broke down."

I smirked, trying not to laugh at the expectedness of it. "That's not surprising."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was a piece of crap, whatever, but it was still mine, so don't."

"I called it a piece of shit," I laughed, putting the basket down on the floor, "but I'll shut up now. Where are you?"

"About ten miles outside of town, one the side of the 101. You really can't miss me."

"All right, let me get Little One loaded up, and we'll be there. Have you called a tow truck?"

"Yeah, but I just didn't want to . . . you know, ride with a stranger."

"Stranger danger?" I laughed.

"Dad's a cop, remember? I was conditioned not to trust strangers."

"Got it," I said, grabbing the car seat and diaper bag before heading back to the living room. "Call me if you need me."

"Thanks, Edward."

"You're welcome."

I checked Sofia's diaper before putting her in the car seat and popping her pacifier in her mouth. She was on her way to a nap anyway, so I hoped the car ride would help her go down. It didn't. In fact, as soon as I pulled out of the lot, she started crying.

"You had been doing so well today, Little One," I said. "Why did you have to start crying now? When you know I can't get to you?"

I glanced into the mirror, which showed me her reflection in the mirror attached to the back headrest. Her face was its normal shade of angry red when she cried like this. Fuck. Her cries were horrible . . . painful sounding to me. I had realized a while back I would never be able to let her just cry, so not being able to comfort her fucking sucked. Maybe I was a "softy", like Bella said. Little One had turned me into that . . . Great.

When I finally saw Bella's truck parked on the shoulder, I pulled over in front of it. She got out of the cab as I opened the back door to get Little One. I really didn't want to listen to more crying on the drive back.

"Oh, has she been like that the whole ride?" Bella asked as I held Sofia close and rubbed her back.

"Yeah, since the moment we pulled out of the lot, actually," I said. "And she had been doing so well today. She even ate the cereal this morning."

"Well, that's progress." She smiled, taking Little One's hand and caressing it.

I moved my hand from Sofia and reached to put my arm around Bella, but she moved away. Shit.

"I'm going to grab my bag," she said. "The tow truck should be here any minute. We don't have to wait."

I nodded. "All right."

I laid Little One back down in her car seat and buckled her up. She had eased up on the screaming, but she was still clearly upset. I grabbed her teething ring from the diaper bag and gave it to her, hoping it'd soothe her pain. Thankfully, she started gnawing away at it.

As I drove back, it was clear Bella wasn't happy with me. She was mostly silent, but answered my questions with a few words. For some reason, I was pretty sure flowers wouldn't fix this. Emmett was a liar.

"What are you going to do about your truck?" I asked, glancing over at her.

"I'm sure it's gone, so I'll have to get a new car," she sighed. "I'll miss it, but it's not unexpected, I guess. It's been around a long time."

I smirked. "It's ancient."

"Yeah, Edward, I know," she huffed as I turned into the lot of our building.

"Please, let me explain," I said, parking the car and turning to her. "I know you're upset with how I treated you, and that's understandable, but you have to let me explain."

She looked at me as she took off her seatbelt. "I'll let you. Let me put my stuff away and make a few calls. I'll come over in a little while."

"I'll make lunch, if you want."

I didn't miss her small smile. "Okay."

. . . . .

Little One wasn't quite ready to go down for her nap when we got into our apartment, so I put her in her high chair as I made lunch for Bella and me — Mac and Cheese, my idiot proof specialty. I probably should've used what she had taught me, but to be honest, most of those lessons I spent with my attention on her, not her words. Still, it was only lunch. Maybe I could actually try to cook dinner for her some other time.

It didn't take long to make, and Bella still hadn't come over. Well, shit. I guess she was getting heated up Mac and Cheese. By the time I had finished, Sofia was looking a little tired, so I picked her up out of the high chair. I brought her into the nursery and sat in the rocking chair, hoping to lull her to sleep. It worked, thank-fucking-god. I actually almost dozed off, too.

Well, until I heard a knock on the door. I quickly laid Little One down in her crib and grabbed the monitor, sliding it in my back pocket. When I opened the door, I smiled, but Bella really didn't. Shit. What if she didn't . . . forgive me for fucking up?

"Hey," I said, moving so she could walk in. "Lunch is ready."

She nodded. "Oh, good. I hope I didn't make you wait too long. I had to call the tow company. I need to clean out my truck and pay them, and then they'll send it to the junkyard."

She was obviously sad, so I figured cracking a joke wasn't the best idea. "I'm sorry about your truck."

She sat down on the bar stool and shrugged. "Me too."

After heating up the Mac and Cheese, I sat down next to her to eat. I asked her about her trip to see her dad, and she said it was good — that she missed him. She told me how they went fishing and it gave her time to think.

"I was an asshole," I said as I grabbed our bowls and dumped them in the sink. "I freaked out."

She looked at me with an eyebrow raised. "You were, and I know you did."

Wow, blunt. "Do you . . . want to go into the living room to talk?"

She nodded, standing up. I followed her to the couch, sitting down next to her, facing her. She nibbled on her bottom lip as she waited for me to start. Fuck, that nibble. I missed that these last few days.

I decided just throwing it out there would probably be best. I had wasted enough of her time. "I'm . . . scared," shit, that was hard to admit, "of a relationship."

"I know," she said. "It's not shocking, you know? I've . . . kind of been waiting for this."

"You have?" I asked, creasing my brow. "You've just been waiting for me to fuck up?"

She quickly shook her head. "No, but I knew this was different for you. I expected you to question it, if that makes sense. Though, I didn't expect you to just shut me out. That hurt, Edward."

"It was that obvious, huh?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "You completely changed that night on my couch. You left early, and then you didn't even come over the next night, and when I came here, you pretty much gave me the cold shoulder. You did that for days. It was shitty."

I rubbed my face with my hands. "I know."

"You could have said you just needed time."

"I know, but . . . I've never been in a relationship, Bella," I said, looking back up at her. "I'm fucking clueless about all of this. I never wanted a relationship, either."

"Do you want one now? Because if not, now's the time to say. Honestly, Edward, I'm pissed at you," she said, narrowing her eyes. "Like I said, you hurt me. You made me feel like no one special, and I'm not all right with that. I like you, and I want to be with you, but I'm not going to let you use me."

"I'm not going to."

She moved closer, placing her hand against my face, forcing me to look her straight in the eyes. "I will leave you so fast if you do this again. I understand you needed this . . . freak out, or whatever it was, but if it happens again, it's over."

I nodded as she dropped her hand. "I want to be with you, and I'm so sorry for hurting you. That wasn't my intention, but I didn't know how to . . . Shit, explaining isn't easy," I laughed awkwardly.

"Just say it," she said, smiling and clasping her hand around mine.

"I didn't know how to act. I'm happy. Really happy, and it freaked me the fuck out. I was worried I'd go back to how I was — that maybe I missed that. But I don't. I don't miss it, Bella. I mean, I miss sex."

She rolled her eyes, scoffing. "Really?"

I smirked. "But I don't miss sex with women I don't know."

"Well, that makes me feel better," she laughed.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be with anyone else. I want to be with you. I missed you while you were gone. I missed talking to you. You're . . . amazing."

She smiled, blushing. "Thank you."

"You are, Bella. You're like no one else. I can't honestly understand why you'd want to be with me, though," I laughed.

"You're funny, and I love the person you are. You are caring, Edward, even if you don't think so. How you stayed with me the other week . . . that showed me how caring you are. And when you're with Sofia, I swear, it's the sweetest thing."

"I'm really not that caring."

"You're a doctor. If you didn't care, why are you?" she asked, pulling her leg under her. "Why does it affect you so much when you lose a patient if you don't care? Under your shell, I think you care a lot, and you're a great person."

I smiled. "Okay, so I'm 'caring'."

She laughed. "Don't make it sound like a bad thing. It's a good thing. A very good thing."

"All right, it's not a bad thing. I care about you a lot, Bella. More than I ever thought I could. You scared the shit out of me that night in the bowling alley."

"It probably won't be the last incident of clumsiness you see."

I pulled her close, kissing her softly.

"I am very sorry for how I acted. Will you give me another chance?" I asked. She smiled, pulling her lip between her teeth as she nodded. "Thank you."

"I'm serious, though," she said. "I'm not letting you do it again."

I brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "I won't do it again. I . . I love you."

Her eyes widened as her mouth opened slightly. A squeak come out, but that was all.

"Shit," I cursed. "Too soon. Shit."

She put her finger to my lips, silencing me. "You . . . love me?" I nodded. "Oh." Her finger fell as she blinked.

"Did I just fuck it up again?"

She moved closer, to me, running her hand through my hair. A smile formed on her lips, turning into a grin. "I love you too, but I didn't want to say it and scare you away."

I laughed before kissing her for a moment. "It's a good thing I said it first," I chuckled.

I pulled her over onto my lap. She pressed her chest against mine as our lips continued to move together. My hands trailed down her back, resting on her firm ass, giving it a little squeeze. She giggled softly, moving her lips down my jaw as her fingers entwined with my hair, tugging and pulling lightly.

She pulled her mouth away from mine, meeting my gaze. "Will Sofia be asleep for a while?" she asked before pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

Oh, dear God I hoped so. "She better," I said, holding her to me as I stood up. She wrapped her legs tightly around my waist. Her lips went along my jaw again, kissing me . . . distracting me from walking. I almost ran us into the wall before my door.

Clothes seemed to fly off once we got into my room. I told her I loved her, and she started attacking. Okay, not really, but her lips and hands were everywhere. She was on top of me, kissing my neck. I moved my hands around her waist, over the small string of her thong to her ass. Those needed to come off. Now.

I flipped her over, so we were on our sides. I caressed her cheek, noticing her blush. Her chest was even flushed. Beautiful. She panted softly, looking in my eyes. "I want you," I said, kissing her.

She nodded, humming in agreement. I moved a hand down her stomach, slipping my fingers under the band and pulling her thong down. She wiggled and lifted, kicking them off. I pushed her onto her back, spreading her legs as my hand moved back up. She gasped when I touched her clit. I smirked, moving my finger in slow circles. I kissed her neck, down to her collar bone as her fingers tugged softly on my hair. Soft moans escaped her lips as I continued to smirk, knowing she was enjoying it. I moved my finger into her, going in and out slowly. She felt so fucking good around my finger. I just wanted to actually be in her, but she deserved patience. She deserved to feel amazing first.

Holy shit, that was a first.

"Do you like it?" I asked, whispering in her ear. She bit her lip, nodding feverishly. "I love you, Nibbles."

She laughed softly as I pumped faster, adding another finger. I rubbed my thumb over her clit again. The laughing was interrupted by more moaning. Fucking hell, I loved the sounds she made, not just moans, but the gasps and mumbling I couldn't understand, too. I noticed her other hand reach out, gripping the sheet. I heard my name over and over, along with God's as she came.

I pressed my lips back to hers, silencing her because she was getting pretty damn loud. Apparently, I didn't do it soon enough, though.

"Son of a bitch," I cursed, hearing Little One's wails loud and clear.

Bella laughed, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. I looked at her incredulously. This wasn't funny. This meant it was over, and I was fucking hard, with no relief in sight.

"It's not funny," I said, bringing my hand up to her side, tickling her.

She pushed my hand away, still laughing. "I'm sorry, but it is!"

I sat up, looking back at her. "You're not the one who has to go get her . . . with a damn hard-on."

"Get her back to sleep, and I'll take care of that." She smirked.

I got out of bed, pulling on my boxers, and then my jeans. "Damn straight," I mumbled, trying to figure out where she threw my shirt. Shit.

"Excuse you?" she asked, covering herself up with the sheet.

"I asked where my shirt was," I lied.

She rolled her eyes. "Sure, you did. And it's over there," she pointed, "by your desk. Where did I toss my panties?"

I grabbed my shirt, shrugging. "Check the bed. I don't think they went far."

I rushed into Little One's room, finding an angry baby in the crib. I quickly picked her up, smelling the reason my time was interrupted. "You couldn't have waited?" I asked, laying her on the changing table. "Daddy was . . . occupied."

I made quick work of her diaper before getting her dressed again. As I picked her up, I looked to the door and noticed Bella leaning against it with a smile on her lips. Little One rested her head on my shoulder as she gripped my shirt in her little fist.

"She's probably hungry," I said, making my way to Bella. I leaned down, kissing her softly. She was . . . beautiful. Almost glowing, as strange as the sounded.

She sighed as we parted. "I can give her a bottle. You know, if you need to . . . shower." I wanted to wipe that smirk off of her face. She just laughed at my scowl.

"I think that's probably a good idea," I said. "You know, she might be able to occupy herself for a while if you put her in the swing after her bottle." I winked. "You could join me."

She laughed softly. "As much as I want to, I think I'll pass. I've missed this little girl."

I sighed, passing her Sofia, who still looked half asleep. "Fine. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Don't sound so devastated." She smirked, rolling her eyes. "Good things come to those who wait."

. . . . .

I turned the shower on cold, letting the water rush over me. I held out hope that maybe, just maybe the curtain would be pulled open, and I'd find a naked, gorgeous woman standing before me. That didn't happen, which fucking sucked. Then again, I guess it wasn't all bad. I put Bella's pleasure before mine today — something I had never done. And, to be honest, it felt . . . good, making her feel like that. She deserved it. She was so damn beautiful. Her face was etched in my mind.

Once I got out of the shower, I walked into the living room to find Bella still giving Little One her bottle. She was speaking softly, smiling as she cooed at my daughter. She loved her. She loved her like Sofia deserved to be loved by a woman. And I loved Bella. I loved the person she was. I loved her kindness — her goodness. How she saw past the person I was, and brought out the good in me. I never thought I could be in love. I never thought I'd be that guy, but she made me that guy. She showed me happiness I never knew existed. She made me a better person, and I didn't even realize she was doing it.

I watched as she put Sofia against her shoulder, patting her back softly. Bella whispered that Little One was a good girl after she burped and Bella wiped her mouth.

"There's Daddy," Bella said, holding Sofia so her back was to Bella stomach. Bella pointed at me as Little One smiled and lifted her hand as well.

I walked over and kneeled down in front of them, taking Sofia's hand with a smile. "Are you going to be a happy girl now?" I asked. "Showing off for Bella, huh?"

Bella kissed the top of her head. "She's always a happy girl. A happy, good girl."

I scoffed. "You should spend the night. She's not so happy then."

She took Little One's hand and placed it against my face. "Say, I'm sorry for keeping you up, Daddy, but I wove you," she laughed.

I chuckled, kissing Sofia's forehead. "I 'wove' you too, baby girl."

Comfort . . . it wasn't a bad thing. In fact, it was good. Really good, actually. Still, Bella and I had a ways to go. Our relationship was just beginning. There were still things we didn't know about each other, and I wanted to know everything.