Two chapters tonight because it's the birthday of someone super special! So, make sure you didn't accidentally skip chapter 57 before moving on to chapter 58!
~TLL~
"It went really, really great, Dad," Connor said, trying to focus on the conversation while sending a text to Jude. "Jake and I are definitely friends. He was fun at the batting cages. He's not bad. Better, um, better than Jude, actually."
Connor: how was work?
"Well, nothing wrong with that. It can be fun to have a little competition."
"It didn't feel like competition," Connor said. "That's what I liked. It just felt like friends."
"And that's a good thing too," Adam said happily. "I'm glad you had a good time. And that it went well with Alex."
"I liked him," Connor said carefully. "But I think I like him more in a group than I would individually."
"And there's nothing wrong with that," Adam said. "It's good that you tried, at the very least. And it's nice to know people, even if they're not close friends. You never know when you might need one another."
He checked his messages, but Jude hadn't replied yet, which was unusual for him. Jude was always quick to reply to Connor, even if it was just to explain that he was too busy
"Well, I think I'll end up having coffee with him and Jake again. Perhaps we might even study together, when a test is coming up. I think that would be nice."
"If someone else doesn't suggest it, then you should," Adam said. "It can't hurt anything."
It could. It might leave him humiliated and rejected, with Jake and Alex staring at him like there was something so seriously wrong with him that they could never speak again. He couldn't say that to Adam, though, and he mumbled something that sounded like it could have been an agreement. "I guess we'll see."
Adam seemed satisfied with that response. "What are you doing tonight?"
"I'm not sure. Jude mentioned it might be nice if I came over once he was done work, but if it doesn't happen, I've got some reading that I can get a start on. What are you doing?"
"Well," Adam said, "nothing tonight. Although, tomorrow evening, I have a date."
He sounded so awkward about it that Connor almost laughed aloud, as if that would make it any better. "Oh, that's good. Do you like her?"
"Well, that would be the point of the date," Adam said. "Her name is Rachel. She's an accountant that's my age. We're going to dinner tomorrow."
"I'm glad you told me," Connor said, though it definitely felt strange to have his father sharing such details. "I hope you have a good time tomorrow."
"Perhaps on Wednesday, I'll get to tell you about my date, for once," Adam said.
"I'd like that," Connor said. "It would make things seem fairer."
"Fair, right," Adam agreed. "I'll let you get on with your night, okay? Call me if you need anything."
"I will, Dad, thanks."
"I love you."
"You too," Connor said, his stomach churning. He had been ignoring the words, coming from Adam's mouth. It was a natural thing for a father to say to a son. Now, all mentions of the word love made him go rigid, no matter how often he talked to Dr. Scott about it and they tried to talk through it. He was still hoping for a breakthrough, not just on this, but on a lot of things, and it hadn't happened at all yet.
Adam hung up the phone. The moment he did, a text from Jude came in.
Jude: Sorry, baby. I'm not feeling good. I don't want you to get sick too.
Connor: are you sure you don't need anything? I can bring something over
Jude took his time answering again. When he came back, his text read: No, I've definitely got the flu or something. I'm just going to sleep on the bathroom floor
Connor: don't forget your fluids
Jude: I have water. Don't worry
Connor: I will. Can I call you tomorrow, after class?
Jude: Please.
Connor: And you can call me if you need anything.
Jude: Thanks. I love you baby.
Connor: Two. Feel better soon.
Connor put his phone down on the side of his desk, cracking open his textbook. He had already gotten everything ready for Monday, but there would be no harm in getting ready for Tuesday, although Jude's hardest day was his easiest, and there wasn't much to be done for Tuesday either. Connor checked the clock. Well, there was no reason that he couldn't start on Wednesdays readings too. He settled in at his desk, happy for the quiet night after his eventful day outside with Jake, even though he was worried about Jude being sick.
Everything would be fine by tomorrow.
(-.-)
"I think I stopped throwing up at, like, ten this morning," Jude murmured into the phone. "I've mostly just been sleeping."
"Do you think you feel better, at least?" Connor asked, carefully pouring water into a cactus pot.
"Maybe. I don't know, at this point."
"Have you eaten?"
"No. Scared to."
"Let me come over," Connor said. "I'll make you chicken soup."
"I don't want you to get sick too. You're sweet for offering."
"Jude, I would really like to just help you," Connor said. "I won't kiss your or let you breathe on me or anything."
"I won't stop you if it's what you want," Jude said. "Just don't feel like you have to."
"I don't. Feel like I have to, that is. I really would like to."
"Okay. Then, I'd like to see you, soon. Thank you, baby."
"It'll be about an hour," Connor said. "See you."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Connor hung up and moved quickly about his room and heading down to his bike. He didn't want to leave Jude, sick and alone. He knew what it was like to try and nurse himself through the flu and it wasn't something that he really wished upon anyone. It was hard and gross. He rushed through the grocery store. Chicken soup was simple, particularly when someone was making it for a sick person who wouldn't want a lot of flavours and spices. He was soon locking his bike to Jude's deck and using his key to unlock Jude's door.
He opened it slowly to find Jude on the couch, wrapped tightly in the plaid blanket. He was fast asleep, his forehead covered in a sheen of sweat. There was an empty glass of water on the coffee table in front of him. The whole apartment smelt of sickness and it felt closed in, something Jude's apartment hadn't felt like in a long time to him. Connor shut the door behind him and, though he locked it, Connor turned around and opened the window, letting what little breeze there was outside come in. He went over to the small window and opened that too. Jude barely stirred and Connor decided to start the soup. There was absolutely no point in bothering Jude now. He deserved his sleep. Connor started the soup on the stove and refilled the water glass in front of Jude. The clinking of the glass on wood caused his eyes to flutter.
"Sorry," Connor whispered. "I didn't want to bother you. How do you feel?"
"Gross. My throat hurts."
He sounded sick and raspy and Connor felt even worse for waking him.
"I've got soup started," Connor said, "if you think you'll be able to eat it."
"I don't know," Jude murmured. "It feels like I haven't eaten anything in years."
"It's been a while," Connor agreed, and he pressed his hand to Jude's forehead. Jude was warm, but he didn't feel feverish. He decided that was a good sign, though his lack of medical experience made him unsure if that were true or not. "Do you want to try crackers or toast first?"
Jude shook his head. "I don't want to try anything."
"Okay. We'll see how you feel when the soup's done." Jude shifted and the smell of dried sweat wafted up from between the blankets. "Should you try showering or changing your clothes? That might help you feel a little better too."
"Maybe," Jude agreed.
"You can sit on the floor of the tub," Connor said.
"Going to run me a bubble bath like I'm a little kid?"
"If you want me to. I'm here to take care of you. Do you want a bath instead?"
"Would you?" Jude asked.
"Of course."
"Really warm water, please," Jude said.
"Of course," Connor repeated. "Try and drink some more water, okay?"
Jude nodded, but he just cocooned himself more deeply in the blanket instead of reaching for the water. Connor stopped in the kitchen to stir the soup a little bit and then he went to the bathroom, filling the tub with water that he thought was slightly too warm. He hoped it was exactly what Jude wanted. Before bothering his dozing boyfriend, Connor fetched clean pyjamas from Jude's dresser and left them folded neatly on the bathroom counter. It would have been too overstepping of his boundaries, were it not for the fact that Jude was sick. That made all the difference.
Jude floundered his way to the bathroom. He didn't close the door all the way behind him. Connor kept his back to the door as he heard the soft splashes of Jude getting into the tub. He went back to stirring the soup, adding a few things to it. It would have to sit and simmer for a while longer before it was able to eat. He started to fold the plaid blanket and then inspected Jude's actual bed. Clearly, he'd spent the night tossing and turning there too. Connor stripped the bed down and made two separate piles of blankets: blankets that should be washed and blankets that didn't have to be washed. He was just taking the pillow cases off of Jude's many pillows when he heard the sloshing of the tub and then he heard dry heaving. Bile flooded Connor's mouth at the sound.
"Jude?" he called. "Are you okay?"
Jude groaned.
Connor put down the pillow and took a few steps across from the wooden floors. What if he was naked? What if he had ended up in trouble? "Jude?"
"You can come in," Jude said. "I'm … not naked."
Connor pushed the door all the way open. Jude wasn't nude, but he wasn't fully clothed either. The clean shirt that Connor had gotten for him was on the floor by his feet; the clean pyjama pants were pulled haphazardly over his legs, too high up on one hip and too low down on the other. He was bent over the toilet, but he was just coughing feebly.
"Oh, Jude."
"I don't feel good."
"I know. Do you think you're going to throw up again?"
Jude finally looked up and shook his head. "I didn't even throw up that time. It just hurts. Everything hurts."
Connor picked up the shirt and crouched down in front of his boyfriend. "You're going to get cold in here. Come on, put this on and I'll take help you back out to the couch."
Jude took the shirt, his hands shaking. "You're just overwhelmed by my hot body."
Connor laughed lightly. He hadn't even thought to look, but as Jude pulled his shirt over his head, Connor watched his muscles stretch. He was unscarred, his belly rounded, with dark beauty marks speckling his skin. Connor looked away as Jude pooled the shirt down across his rounded stomach. He didn't want Jude to realize that he'd been looking, though it was exactly what Jude had teased him about doing.
"I don't like feeling like a kid," Jude said, as Connor helped him to his feet.
"I know how you feel."
"I'm sleepy."
"I know. I'm going to put you back on the couch. I'm washing your sheets and then I'm going to make your bed."
"You're the best boyfriend in the whole world," Jude said.
"And you sound really tired," Connor said. "Try and go back to sleep."
He got a clean blanket and tucked it in around Jude. Jude rolled it around himself, staring at the glass of water on the table in front of him.
"Do you need anything else?"
"My head hurts."
"Dehydration."
"Lack of caffeine."
"That too," Connor agreed, "but drinking coffee won't help you at all now."
"No," Jude agreed, though he sounded upset about it.
"I'll find you a straw," Connor said. "That way drinking won't be so hard."
Connor found the straws in Jude's cutlery drawer and added a light blue one to Jude's drink. Jude did his best to smile at him, and then he curled up as best as he could. He looked too small on the couch and Connor ran his fingers through Jude's damp hair.
"Did the bath sort of help?"
"Sort of," Jude agreed. "I love you, baby."
"Go to sleep, okay? I'll wash your sheets and then you can try going to sleep."
"I don't want you to leave," Jude said.
"I didn't say anything about leaving. You just focus on getting better." He slid his fingers through Jude's hair again and Jude reached up his hand and wrapped it loosely around Connor's wrist. "I will be here when you wake up."
A small smile crossed Jude's face and he snuggled into the comforter. Connor got his hands free and went to wash them before beginning to sort through Jude's blankets for the laundry. It was going to be a long night.
(-.-)
Jude woke with a headache, fuzzy teeth, and a sore stomach. It was like the worst hangover he'd ever had, but doubled. It had been a short flu, but an intense flu. He sat up in his bed slowly, letting the layers of blankets fall off him. The world wobbled for a moment but everything fell into place. His muscles were so sore it was almost hard for him to reach over and push his curtains back. The room was already sunny and bright, and that had to have something to do with how much he hurt. He must have been sleeping for at least ten hours. He picked up the half-full glass of water that was on his bedside table and drank it all in one go. It hit his empty stomach and he groaned. It hadn't felt good in the way that he'd wanted it to.
Jude stumbled out of bed. When his feet hit the floor, he realized that Connor was still sleeping on his couch. Jude felt his heart go warm; he hadn't thought Connor would stay. He reached out and gently grazed the bottom of Connor's sock foot, but Connor bolted awake.
"Jude? Are you feeling okay?" he asked quickly, before he even cleared the sleep from his eyes.
"Much," Jude said. "I didn't think you'd still be here. I thought you'd go home."
"You asked me to stay," Connor said. "And I wanted to."
"Thanks. That means a lot."
Connor smiled at him and then reached up, touching his hand to Jude's forehead. "You look better. Are you feeling a little hungry?"
"Yes."
Connor laughed. "We'll start with toast, okay?"
"And coffee."
"That's probably not the best idea."
"Can't hurt to try."
"I guess not."
"And," Jude added, "you can have a cup this way too."
"I'm starting to like it," Connor admitted as he stood from the couch. He fixed the blankets. "Here, sit."
"I'm a little sick, not a lot broken," Jude said, but he sunk to the couch cushion anyway. Every so often, it was nice to feel taken care of.
"Just for today, let me baby you," Connor said.
"Just for today," Jude agreed.
He liked it, but he didn't know if he could do it every day. It felt so unfair, and Jude liked to feel that there was some sort of fairness to their relationship. He turned on the couch so that he could peek over the shoulder of the couch, watching Connor start the coffee maker and put bread in the heated oven. Simple, domestic actions, that left Jude happy. Happy that Connor was here, with him, looking content.
"Baby, I have a question for you."
"Sure," Connor said, leaning against the kitchen doorway.
"Scale of one to ten," Jude started, and Connor nodded. "How happy would you say you are right now?"
"Umm." Connor took a moment, and Jude was happy that Connor was taking his time to really think about his answer. "Eight."
"That's pretty good."
"Yeah," Connor agreed. "Do you want to just go with one piece of toast or would you like to try two?"
"Best to play it's safe. It's not hard to make another one, right?"
"Right," Connor agreed.
The smell of coffee started to fill the apartment. The acid in it slightly turned Jude's stomach, but his brain perked up at the smell. He doubted that he'd even be able to finish one cup, but he wanted to try it. Even the slightest bit might help his raging headache. Connor brought over a small plate with toast several slices of toast. He had just put it on the coffee table when he said.
"Oh!"
"Oh?" Jude said.
"Um. You never eat here. I guess I should have, um, I guess I should have known you don't eat here."
"It's fine, we can eat here. Not a big deal."
"Okay. I'll get the coffee."
Jude waited for him to come back to pick up the piece of toast that belonged to him. Connor put down the coffee mug and a jar of jam for himself. Jude nibbled slowly at his toast, trying to take sips of his coffee as best as he could. It was a slow breakfast, but a good breakfast. Connor found a channel that was playing cartoons. They were bordering on a little too childish and Jude hadn't heard of any of the characters, but there was something about it that added charm to the morning. The breakfast dishes were left in the corner of the coffee table and Jude laid back down on the couch, this time, his head on Connor's thigh. Connor tucked the plaid blanket tightly in around him and Jude sighed happily.
"Do you feel sick?" Connor asked. "Or do you still feel okay?"
"I still feel okay," Jude said. He closed his eyes as he felt Connor's fingers in his hair. "Baby, don't you have to go to class?"
"No," Connor said. "It's one day. I decided that it would be better for me to be here."
"I love you," Jude said.
Connor's fingers stilled in his hair. Breathily, he said, "One."
Jude supposed he should be used to that by now, but he could admit that it still stung. He wanted Connor to end up saying something else to that, like the sweet response that Connor had once said. Now, it was just numbers.
"Connor, I have a question for you," Jude said, and he shifted on to his back so he could look up at his boyfriend.
"Still an eight," Connor said.
"No," Jude said with a chuckle. "I just wanted to talk to you about Valentine's Day."
"It's still, like, two weeks away," Connor said.
"I know. But if we wanted to do something, we shouldn't leave it to the last minute. It's Valentine's Day. Everyone will be doing something."
Connor didn't look at him, instead, he directed his gaze to directly above the TV. He sighed for a moment and then his fingers resumed playing with Jude's hair. "Why do we have to do anything? Why can't it just be a day?"
"We've been together for a couple of months. It's Valentine's Day. That means something to me. We should do something. What is Valentine's Day usually like for you?"
Connor looked back at him, a series of small expressions flickering across his face so quickly that Jude didn't understand what he was thinking. "It doesn't matter. I wouldn't want it to be the same at all."
"I just want to do something," Jude said. "It doesn't have to be huge. We can go out for dinner and go to a movie. A real theatre, this time, not the one on campus."
"Not out for dinner," Connor blurted. "Too much. And it's too busy. It's … I mean, dinner just doesn't sound like a good idea."
"What if we had dinner here and then went to a movie? Then we can come back here again?"
"Okay," Connor agreed. "I guess, um, that wouldn't be so bad."
"It's not going to be scary, baby. It's Valentine's Day. It's all pink and fluffy with hearts."
Connor cleared a few strands of hair from Jude's forehead. "I'm really not good with the romance part of this, am I?"
"No," Jude said. He wasn't about to lie to Connor about that. "I don't mind. You're sweet. And I know you care about me."
"I hope you know that. You mean a lot to me."
"You know what," Jude said, "for Valentine's Day. One of us should make dinner and the other should make dessert."
Connor nodded. "What do you want?"
"I'll make you dinner, since I don't usually. If you wouldn't hate making dessert."
"I wouldn't hate it," Connor said. "I don't usually make a lot of desserts."
"Sounds good."
Connor's fingers brushed his forehead again before tangling in his hair. "Um, people usually give gifts on Valentine's Day. Is there anything you would like?"
"Don't feel like you have to, baby."
"I think people go too over the top of Valentine's Day," Connor said. "I just think you should care consistently about people. You shouldn't have to prove your love on one day."
Jude grinned. "I love that. I think you're right. I'm still going to be helpless on Valentine's Day."
"I'll find a mushy card for you," Connor said, "if it'll make you smile."
"I love you," Jude whispered. "And it would make me smile. That and a box of chocolates."
"I think your smile is one of my top ten favourite things in the world," Connor whispered, and Jude found himself grinning like a madman. He pressed his face into the side of Connor's muscled thigh and pulled the plaid blanket up to cover his face. He didn't think it was a particularly cute smile that he was currently wearing, but Connor coaxed him back out of the blanket, and it felt like something that Jude often did for Connor instead. "I meant that."
"I know. Is there anything you'd like for Valentine's Day?"
"Umm," Connor said, and then he shook his head. There was a touch of pink to his cheeks.
"Baby, come on, you can tell me."
"Flowers, maybe," Connor finally said. "Red ones? You don't have to."
"It's why I asked. Red roses or?"
"Anything red," Connor murmured. "They don't have to be the same flower. I just kind of like red flowers."
"Your wish is my command," Jude said. "I wish I could kiss you, but I don't want to make you sick."
"You'll be better soon," Connor said. "You seem a lot better today."
"I feel better today," Jude said. "The toast didn't make me feel sick."
"Did the coffee?"
Jude shrugged. "A little. But I didn't want to not drink it."
"Do you want more toast?"
"Not yet," Jude said. He carefully turned on his to face the TV and settled in.
Connor bent down and kissed Jude's cheek.
"If you get sick, I'll come take care of you," Jude promised.
"I'll be fine," Connor said. "Rest now, okay?"
"Okay," Jude agreed. "Thanks for everything, baby."
"It's what boyfriends are for, right?"
"Mhm," Jude murmured.
He hadn't meant to sleep again, but he was so warm and safe and happy inside of Connor's arms that, when his eyes began to drift shut, he didn't fight it. Before he settled into his dreams, Connor gently kissed his temple again, and Jude fell asleep with a smile on his face.
The chapter's title is after the song You Save Me by Kenny Chesney. If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)
So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.
~TLL~