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A/N:
I hope you accept this chapter as a belated, but very happy Thanksgiving!
I work in retail (sadly) so chapters may take a bit longer for me to put out during the holiday season.
Just please know that it is in no way due to lack of interest.
As always, I would love nothing more than to read your thoughts!
~
Circling your head
contemplating everything you ever said
Now I see the truth, I got a doubt
a different motive in your eyes
and now I'm out
~
It was hard to tell if it were night or day but all Jane wanted at that moment was to see the stars.
Anything she could recognize or comprehend or grasp on to would make do, really.
But instead, the sky only grew darker and darker and the world returned to an insipid, smothering grey.
She sat just outside the cave's edge, her legs crisscrossed in front of her, and gazed at the veiled sky just as she had done for what felt like an eternity, searching for a break in the clouds… a ray of sunlight… anything…
Back on Earth she could easily know exactly where she sat using only a single star and her cell phone. The twinkling night sky had grown to become a warm, familiar face; even long before she'd spent her nights searching the stars for Thor.
Here she was lost; trapped well beyond her captor's watchful eyes. She could feel them on her back every so often from somewhere deep within the cave.
Other than that, there were no signs of life. No illumination. No astronomical map above. Nothing.
London had nearly constantly bustled beneath over-casted skies, but even that had nothing on the clouds that blanketed Svartalfheim.
She closed her eyes. Bright red coated the inside of her eyelids. She almost felt a little less blinded.
A harsh wind stirred the loose ground at the base of the mountain, but at her height within the protective walls of rock she only felt a gentle breeze brush against her cheeks. She could hear the sizzling sound of sand pelting against stone below, leaving the air thick with dust. It bristled in her nose when she inhaled.
For a while she imagined herself back to New Mexico. She had always loved the warmth there; her small, rustic town, the rolling dessert and glowing sun.
Then the attack on New York happened. A wormhole to another world gaped open in the sky and fearsome aliens had flooded through it by the hundreds. Before she was even able to believe what she was seeing, S.H.I.E.L.D had given her a large, manila envelope and told her to follow the directions in it without hesitation.
Of course, she'd hesitated. Just long enough for them to allow her to take Darcy with her. Erik had been missing for months already and she would not be losing her assistant too.
She missed both of them so fiercely that it hurt.
Erik had been nothing short of a father to her since she'd lost her parents and his absence reopened the holes the incident had left within her. She could feel them growing a little sorer around the edges with each passing day.
She squeezed her eyes shut with just a little more force.
Darcy had grown from her insufferable intern into a daughter-like figure she couldn't imagine living without. Jane would have given anything to hear one of her sly comments or inappropriate remarks right then. She could only hope that at least some of the girl's downright fearlessness had rubbed off on her over time.
Her fingers rose to her lips as she remembered numerous instances where Darcy's off-hand commentary had left her bright red with embarrassment.
A small laugh escaped her, despite her efforts.
She felt his attention turn to her before his smooth command disturbed the silence.
"You should come inside."
Jane slid her eyes open, the memories fading as quickly as the serene blackness. She'd almost been able to entirely forget her current predicament and the unfavorable company she was forced to share it with.
She immediately felt more confined than she had with her eyes closed.
"I'd like to stay out here for a while longer," she spoke softly to the sky.
Jane heard his languid footsteps as he made his way to stand at the opposite end of the cave entrance. She watched from the corner of her eye as his gaze met hers above. The grayness washed over him, dulling his robes and claiming his drawn, pale features just as wholly as it claimed the land. All but his eyes, which captured the fading light as if they'd found the hidden stars.
Loki studied silently for a long moment before he spoke.
"It's certainly not much to look at," he decided lowly, his brow twisting in distaste.
She blinked a glance over at him.
"Habit I suppose," she half shrugged. "I've learned to read the sky like a book and I find its stories much more enticing than my own at the moment… even with the clouds."
His usual scoff sounded more like a choked chuckle.
"You've no idea."
Jane tossed his words around in her mind for a moment. They brought with them the poignant memories of everything he'd put her through; of Thor's first visit to Earth, the Destroyer nearly taking both of their lives; intermingling with scenes from New York, fires blazing and buildings raining glass upon the city streets as the death toll steadily rose at the bottom of the television screen. Erik. And then there was being trapped in a world that wanted to consume her for nothing more than the energy she unwillingly claimed.
All because of him.
She swallowed the bile that rose in her throat.
"Oh believe me, I do. Every time tragedy strikes I have to force myself to believe that it's as bad as it's going to get... but I am proved wrong. Every. Single. Time," her eyes widened on the clouds. "So I've been out here trying again. I mean, it can't get much worse than this, right…" her head shook gently in denial, "It can't."
She could just make out his movement from of the corner of her eye but she guessed he looked over at her.
For a long while all was silent.
"What you call tragedy can result in just as much good as harm."
The words were smooth as glass and cut just the same.
When she turned to find him, his eyes were already back on the sky.
"You really think that don't you?" She failed to hide the accusation in her tone. "You truly believe that there are no consequences to your actions… but there are. You do whatever you want not caring about what you level in your path. People have died…"
"Because of me?" He cut in, heat suddenly steaming hot beneath his words. "You may study the sky but you clearly know nothing of its true stories or the secrets that lie within the vast realms you call stars. Until you do, I suggest you hold your tongue because each word you speak shows just how ill-informed you mortals truly are."
She clenched her fists in her lap. A surge of curiosity crept over her, holding her pointed frustration just barely between her teeth.
"Then tell me."
"I've no reason to. But you should ask Thor sometime," his eyes tightened slightly with the name. "He obviously hasn't shared very much of his past with you."
Jane felt a familiar bubbling begin to warm her bones.
"He didn't have time to," she grit her teeth and simmered. "Why doesn't my Aether trick work when I want it to," she groaned, relaxing her fists to let her head rest in her hands.
She could feel his brow quirk over at her.
"Tricks are kind of my strong suit," he announced with an odd mixture of pride and dejection. "And every single one of them has a counter. I've simply locked it where it lies and I allow you to live because you keep it hidden from those who need not sense it yet."
"You destroy everything you touch."
Her head lifted and their eyes met.
His gaze was tilted sharply down at her, leaving deep purple shadows around screaming eyes. His lips were grey lines, cutting harshly across his locked jaw.
The sudden silence was deafening.
Jane's survival instincts automatically kicked in in the far reaches of her mind; the Aether boiled hot beneath her skin; and still, her eyes held his firmly for a beat – two... Then, they fell to her lap.
"Thor was right…" She whispered, before seeking the comfort of the sky. "I've spent most of my life searching for exactly what was out there… Trying to connect our world to whatever it was the universe had in store… but we weren't ready. I always knew I'd find something but I never once pictured it to be anything like this," she huffed at her own staggering realization. "Not even close. I expected creepy, big headed Martians with bulging eyes and glowing fingertips – not dueling gods with severe family issues."
A small light of pride warmed her chest. She would have to remember to thank Darcy someday if she got the chance.
Before she could even enjoy the feeling, tension pulsated through her in deep, rolling waves electrocuting the crisp air and raising the hair at the back of her neck in a way that she had once believed only Thor's lightening could cause. It quickly stifled anything lively within her.
"Not yet."
The hissed words were his last and hung heavy in the night.
She heard the sharp rip of boot scraping rock as he turned to make his way beyond her, back into the cave.
Her nerves and the air thinned out just as quickly.
She filled her lungs with it and desperately continued her search.
Jane wasn't sure exactly when she'd fallen asleep, but the grey had given over to much-too-vivid dreams.
She dreamt of her parents; their yearly road trip to the mountains of California for the best possible view of the stars.
She could hear the soft tones of their voices coming from the front seats of the car, but no words. She was too excited; her small nose pressed up against the cool glass of the window, watching reverently as clustered buildings and webbed streets slowly spaced out and gave way to tall trees and dirt trails.
Only this time, their edges frayed.
The car jolted to a sudden stop and she was thrown into a flash of white.
Then she was falling.
Slicing violently through still air.
She landed hard, face down upon the unforgiving floor of her prison cell.
The collision reverberated through her ribs and she fought against the cold stone to catch her breath.
She spread her fingers flat against the shining white floor and inched herself up just enough to turn her head to the right. She clenched her teeth at the pain in her muscles.
The white light above was blinding but she could just make out a dark form inches beyond the glass.
She froze as her eyes traced the lines of his mask.
It was expressionless. Void of anything relatable – inhuman.
The eyes it bore were black, limitless, and they focused directly on her; claimed her – swallowed her whole.
Jane blinked to focus and reopened her eyes to another blinding wall of white.
She squeezed them shut.
It did nothing to dim the glaring brightness.
She blinked them open and realized why.
Through the slits of her eyes, she could see that the wasteland was illuminated in white all around her.
Her hand rose to shield her strained eyes.
The thick clouds above were veined by streaks of glistening silver, branching off and crossing unsystematically like a spider's web collapsing upon itself. At its center, a few miles from the mountain, a thick streak of glowing white struck the ground with a force that trembled through the solid rock beneath her.
It sent the rusted dust spiraling around its base in huge, radiant red cyclones.
She took a few seconds to decide if she was actually awake.
Only then did she realize what she was witnessing.
She rose to her feet without fully meaning to. Her hand fell to rest on a stout rock at her waist as she leaned forward to get a better view.
It was another conduit; a big one, cutting through the sky like a pure white ray of sunlight. And it had to be touching the ground somewhere near where they'd crashed.
It was no star, but it would do.
When her mind snapped fully awake, she took a quick look behind her.
The light brightened the inside of the cave, glimmering off of every inch of the copper walls it could reach.
The small fire still flickered sadly in the middle of the floor.
Otherwise, the space was empty.
It was all the assurance she needed.
Her heart flipped once in her chest, she pulled her jacket closed tight over it, and she fled toward the light.
Epigraph: Headstrong - Trapt