~
A/N:
I'm not going to lie, I dug in a bit further than usual to write this chapter.
I'll just blame it on my love/hate relationship with this cold, dreary weather.
A tear or two shed is well worth it so long as you enjoy.
~
If I cried me a river of all my confessions
would I drown in my shallow regret
As the walls are closing in
and the colors fade to black
And the night is falling fast and deep into the sea
and in the darkness all that I can see
the frightened and the weak
are forced to cling to mistakes they know nothing of
At mercy are the meek
~
Loki walked aimlessly amongst the shadows deep within the cave, watching from the amnesty of their quiet refuge as the clouds gave up on clutching so desperately to the light above and gave in with hopeless release to dusk.
He was almost appreciative when Jane had chose to stop at the entrance of the cave instead of following him inside. He wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to contain himself under such impudent scrutiny. And keeping her alive was key.
At least long enough for his plan to go smoothly.
He frowned down at the harsh contrast of dirt upon his dark boots.
Of course he had a plan.
How dare she question him.
To any extent.
Most would not have lived long enough to make the same mistake twice.
But she had said something else too.
Called him a title that'd turned his blood to lead.
She'd referred to him as a prince as plainly as if it were what she truly believed him to be.
The memory pulled a snarled smile of disbelief to his lips. This woman really was the embodiment of madness, wasn't she...
What had stopped him in his tracks mid-pace was that he'd almost wanted to believe her.
It was impossible for her to know just how right she'd been.
He had been told exactly where to stand at every ceremony, slowly being moved more and more often from Thor's right shoulder to the sideline. Guided and guarded from the sunlight to the shadows. Controlled and threatened. Instructed on exactly how he was expected to behave as a person of affluence; uptight and impossibly boring as compared to the nature Odin would declare as childish and unfit for nobility.
The same nature the Chitauri had pandered to and bent to their will.
His true nature.
The Allfather's voice spitting venomous words of discouragement through Loki's brain curled his fingers into straining fists at his sides.
It was almost ironic that one so weak and unfit to rule would make such statements. He was honestly surprised the old rag had even re-awoken, much less reclaimed the throne. If only the people of Asgard knew he'd taken down their prided king with nothing more than a few painfully pointed words...
Jane had laughed.
The sound clashed against the barren land like metal upon the thinnest glass. Much too innocent for the impasse she found herself in and much too foreign upon his heavy ears.
It was striking.
He cocked his head toward it.
She sat at peace, her back half-leaned against the edge of the cave wall, her brown hair twisting at her neck in the breeze, and her chin tilted up to the sky, just as it had been since their return.
He was constantly left puzzled by such a strange human.
She was brave, he would give her that, but the brashness with which she showed it rode so treacherously close to the border of foolishness that he was sure it would drive him just as mad as she was before this ended.
When he'd followed the sound to her side, she had continued to push him - dangerously close.
He'd had to tear himself away once more and fall back farther within the cave.
Who was this feeble girl to call out his flaws when she herself was so clearly broken. Far beyond any known form of restoration. She showed it in such pitiful ways. The way she continually tried to reason with him instead of following through with his commands. How she still searched the sky for hope whilst she knowingly sat upon that land that fed on it... The fact that she still sat there in general, just beyond the cave wall and his sight.
He reemerged from the shadows when they quivered to find that that was no longer the case.
And finally, for the first time since their meeting, her actions made sense to him.
Jane had just made the descent to the mountains base when the conduit's light drew back up into the sky and disappeared from view.
She refused to look away from the spot in the sky where she last saw it, doing what she could to find her footing in the dark.
The rock turned to sand beneath her feet. She struggled to run as fast as she could, pulling the heels of her boots up from the clutches of greedy sand with each swift step.
Without the protection of the mountains the sands whipped at her, stinging the exposed skin on her face and her hands when they rose to protect it.
The dry, dusty air was sharp at the back of her throat.
Her heart drummed in her chest.
She slowed in precaution, using the side of her hands to wipe the sandy tears from the corners of her eyes.
Jane took them off the spot in the sky for only a second... and lost it.
She turned frantically to see if the mountains were still at her back but was met with a blinding wall of wind that knocked into her with such unexpected force that she staggered sideways.
She pushed her boots against dirt and fought to stay on her feet as gust after gust closed in on her in blinding walls.
She pulled her shirt up over her nose and mouth, holding it there with one hand while clasping the other tightly over her eyes.
Sliding her first two fingers apart just enough to see through, she turned back to where she hoped she'd seen the last of the conduit and fought against the storm to make her way toward it.
Red outlined her vision. She could feel the Aether pushing her; making her fight for her own safety against the harsh elements.
It warmed the surface of her skin and she relished it, using the burning as the driving force behind each of her labored paces.
She immediately knew something was wrong when the smoldering sensation continued to grow.
It began low in her calf muscles, gnawing at the flesh there as if they'd been set ablaze. It rose up her legs, locking her knees into place so suddenly that she fell to them, each sinking into inch-deep craters in the loose sand.
A name flooded her thoughts and she screamed it as loud as her struggling lungs would allow.
"Thor!"
She felt it seeping up over each of her ribs, burning raw as a viper's poison as it slithered between her bones.
"Thor!... Tho-!"
It reached her heart, filling it so quickly and entirely that it took her breath away. The scarlet glow radiated straight through her thick brown jacket.
Jane could feel her heartbeat quicken in her chest to a painful rate.
She toppled forward onto her hands.
Her vision blurred to black.
And she felt every nerve in her body bared open to the blistering sand as the Aether exploded from her skin.
Consciousness returned to her in what felt like only a few seconds, but she awoke to find that the wind had stopped and the world around her stood deathly still.
She felt the weight of heavy clay resting over her, nearly burying her entirely. It matted thick over her back and hair. Her mouth was dry and gritty.
Her limbs felt numb and exhausted. Everything stung.
She tried to blink her eyes open, but with every attempt she could feel each individual grain of sand scraping beneath her eye lids. She kept them closed instead and resignedly let her cheek fall against the dirt with a soft exhale.
If Svartalfheim truly did want to consume her at that moment, she was almost positive she'd be okay with it. It almost seemed a better fate than the life that had devoured her already.
The universe had proven her wrong yet again and she wasn't sure just how much more she could bear.
Twin tears fell across the bridge of her nose and cheek and dripped to the dust on their own accord.
At first she blamed the dirt but raw emotion bit and refused to release her.
She hadn't allowed herself to cry for so long now that they came on strong and silent, one fresh tear after another, following uniformly along its sodden trail.
The moisture felt good in her dry eyes.
She burrowed her fingers a little deeper into the cool earth.
Maybe she could just disappear beneath the sand forever.
She had tried and tried again to continue living a normal life after her run in with the god that fell from the sky, but now she almost wished she would have just left him where she'd found him, sprawled across the desert of Puente Antiguo.
It would be only fair considering where she found herself now.
But that was just Svartalfheim talking; digging into her soul and tearing it apart just as Loki had warned her it would.
He had warned her of a lot of things, in his own way, now that she thought about it. The evils this realm had to offer, how to combat them, how to hide from them...
He'd saved her life.
If only she'd listened.
Just as he materialized into her thoughts, she blinked her watery eyes open to spot him materializing a few feet before her prone form.
Her breathing picked up though she was anything but surprised.
She knew her escape... if it could be called that... was a hopeless endeavor the moment she'd lost sight. And she knew he was going to be seething without even having to look up to see the expression he wore.
She did anyway.
What she found staggered her.
It was not anger that weighted his brow, but something much different that the grainy tears in her eyes wouldn't allow her to clearly make out.
Instead of trying to decipher it, she slowly let her forehead fall against the dirt, doing what she could to hide her vulnerability from the eyes that scrutinized her so thoroughly.
She counted her shaky breaths as time ticked passed.
When his steps finally closed in on her, she tensed.
He shifted close by.
A cool finger curled around the base of her chin and smoothly lifted her gaze to meet his. She clenched her jaw at the sensation, the movement causing another pair of tears to drag slow, fresh streaks down her dirtied face.
She found him crouched inches in front of her, the wrist of his free hand resting idly over his bent knee.
His eyes searched every detail of her features, the jade of his irises transfixing on her so solidly that for a short-lived second, she searched too.
Jane watched his brow dip a fraction as he deliberated something for a exhausting moment. It relaxed when he must have found what he was looking for.
"You've given up."
The gentle declaration scorched her with its grave truth.
She could only imagine what he saw.
Her descending tears curved along her jaw line nearing his finger and he released her head, pulling his hand back to rest over his other knee.
"I'm sorry."
She could barely recognize her own vacant voice as it rattled from her throat.
Loki shook his head at her slowly, his eyes filling with a sudden air of melancholy.
It vanished just as quickly.
He adjust himself to her side, lightly brushing away some of the dirt over her hair before he guided her over onto her back. She felt the grains rolling off of her in sheets with the motion.
He leaned over her.
"Come now," he murmured, slipping one of him arms beneath the bend of her knees, the other supporting her torso as he gracefully rose to stand with her in his arms.
The familiar scent of spiced leather was equal parts calming and unsettling.
It left a sickness churning deep within her belly.
Jane instinctively wrapped her arm around his shoulders to hold herself up.
A small shrill of panic hummed in her heart as he turned beneath her and started walking.
It was familiar now too.
She leaned her head back to peer one last time through the darkness behind him, praying to catch a glimpse of a flowing scarlet cape or a bright flash of lightening pierce the dark sky.
Epigram: Black - Sarah Mclachlan