A special Barefoot And Bruised announcement! This story will be 78 chapters long, plus an epilogue!

~TLL~

Connor folded the last of Jude's shirts and put it on top of the others in the suitcase. There. Everything on their list was packed, except for their toothbrushes and their deodorant, which they would pack right before their flight. Connor closed the suitcase and zipped it up and then checked his backpack, which was serving as their carry-on. Everything was ready. The alarm was set, there was no food to spoil in the fridge, his cactuses were watered and would be fine until they returned. All that was left was for Jude to come home and for them to sleep until it was time to go to the airport. In a taxi, with a driver that he didn't know. To walk into a building full of people he didn't know. To get on a plane, where there was only Jude that he knew. To go to a town that was supposed to be home, but was just filled with things that he didn't know.

Except for Jude.

The door opened and Connor looked at the time.

"You're an hour early."

Jude sat down on the floor next to him, crossing his legs. "I bribed Benjamin to come in an hour early. I just wanted to be home with you."

"You're always with me," Connor pointed out. "And you're about to spend an entire week with me."

"Yeah, I know, but I'd rather be kissing your ass than Jason's. Is that such a bad thing?" Jude grinned and Connor tried to smile back.

"Not that you touching me worked out."

Connor surprised himself by the twinge of sadness in his voice. It had been days since they'd tried anything. There had been exams to study for, a job to go to, and a trip to worry over. Nothing beyond light kissing had been done, unless the intensity of their cuddling counted for anything. And it shouldn't matter. Connor knew Jude wasn't keeping score. He knew Jude would be happy no matter how far they went physically but, just because he knew it, it didn't mean he felt it. Especially with Jude feeling the way he did about the physical. He believed intimacy was intimate, unlike the chore Connor had always lived through. Connor would like to feel what Jude did, even if it only happened once. Even if it only happened for a moment.

Jude stretched his arms up over his head and the slightest flash of his stomach showed. Connor tugged at Jude's calf and Jude slid across the floor so that he was seated next to Connor, his back nearly touching the side of the couch.

"Come here, please," Connor said, beckoning Jude even closer.

"Baby, what is it?"

Connor grabbed the hem of Jude's shirt and started pulling it up. "I don't like your work shirt."

Jude laughed, pulling his arms out of the shirt for Connor. Connor gave into his tendency and folded the shirt. Their flight left early. If he didn't keep everything neat and tidy as he went, he wouldn't have the time to fix it up. Jude laughed at him again.

"Have I ever mentioned that I love that you hate my work shirt?"

Jude seemed to love a lot about him but the thought was comforting now. Well, almost comforting. It was more comforting than anxiety inducing. Connor touched Jude's stomach, feeling shy. As if there was a reason for him to feel shy in front of Jude now. In September, maybe, but never now. Jude had seen him – broken and vulnerable and literally naked – and Jude was still standing in front of him.

"I love the rest of you too, you know."

Connor glanced up at Jude, feeling breathless as a memory echoed through his head. "You know, baby, I love your eyes … And the rest of you. All of you." How things had changed since the first time Jude had said it. How they had changed.

"I know," Connor whispered and he felt the impulse to say more. "I'm so grateful for you."

Jude grinned and it nearly stopped Connor's heart. "Then help me up, babe. Work and the hard floor are going to make me super sore."

"Want a massage?" Connor offered, clambering to his feet so he could help Jude up.

"Would you?"

"For you," Connor said. "And then we should try to sleep."

"It's only ten now," Jude partially whined, leading Connor toward the bed.

"We have to be ready to leave here by four. And then we're on a plane and then we land and then we have to spend the day awake. With my dad."

"We can try to sleep."

"You worked. You should be tired."

"Should," Jude hummed, nosing at Connor's thigh with his foot. "But, you know, you keep me awake."

Connor smiled at that and let himself fall onto the bed next to Jude.

"Are you going to take my pants off or are you going to make me do it?"

"I'll do it. You won't fold them."

Jude laughed again. "That's romantic."

Connor popped Jude's button; his hands didn't shake anymore. "What would you consider romantic? Aside from actually going out because, um, you know."

"You're still scared to have your face out in public." Jude lifted his hips and Connor pulled his pants all the way off, folding them neatly and turning to sit them on the edge of the couch. When he turned back to Jude, Jude said, "Chocolate covered strawberries. Those are romantic, right?"

"And easy to make."

"Bubble baths?" Jude suggested, turning on the bed and putting his feet in Connor's lap.

Connor put his hands against the sole of Jude's foot. "I don't think one of us could comfortably take a bath in your tub, let alone both of us."

"Guess you'll have to go the extra mile and find a tub that we can both fit in," Jude mused. "Oh! Oh, right there."

"What else?" Connor asked. "What else can I do so that you're happy?"

"Baby, I am happy."

"Happier," Connor amended. "Happiest."

Jude went silent for a long moment and Connor felt his whole body tense. Connor quietly worked along Jude's calves. Jude pushed himself up on his elbows.

"The things that what would make me happiest are things out of your control and have nothing to do with you. When it comes to you and us, I am generally at, um, ninety-five percent happy."

"The other five percent?"

"Four percent could be fixed with a little more baking," Jude admitted.

Connor grinned. He was sure that a few cakes wouldn't hurt anything, but he was also sure that it wasn't the only thing Jude could possibly need from him. It was nice, though, to have something to hold onto. Connor liked concrete things. "And the last one percent?"

"Is walking down the hill to the door, wondering if you'll still be here or if there will be a note saying you never want to see me again."

"Jude –"

"And it's okay," Jude said. "It's mostly gone now. Just every once in a while, especially if I had a bad day."

"I'm really sorry."

"I know you are. Come on, baby, up a little more."

Connor obliged, his thumbs along the tops of Jude's thighs. He felt his heart sinking low into his chest and he had no idea how to raise it back up again. He was sorry. Just so sorry. But he knew Jude knew that.

"Roll over."

Jude flipped over and Connor pressed his fingers into the flesh of the back of his thigh and wished that he could see Jude's face. There was no way for him to tell what Jude was thinking or feeling just from the backs of his legs. It didn't stop him. He didn't want to let Jude down in this way too. And, so, he just massaged the seemingly endless length of Jude's legs until Jude stretched his arms out in front of him, letting out a high, squeaky sound that was adorable, frankly. And Connor wasn't used to thinking of Jude as adorable. It wasn't a descriptor that he usually connected to Jude but it fit for now. Jude turned onto his back again, pushing himself up so that he was sitting. Connor knew what was coming and he was ready for when Jude's arms went around him and they tipped back onto the pillows.

"Are you going to fall asleep now?"

"No. I'm gonna make you talk to me." Jude grinned, all of his teeth showing. "And we left the lights on. I can't sleep with the lights on."

"I thought I was going to do the talking."

"What are you going to talk to me about?"

"Um, well, Dad's going to let you drive his car," Connor said. "So that we can go exploring while he's at work. There's not that much to do but we can try and do something."

"You can show me where you went to school."

"It's … It's not worth remembering. And it's hard to look at the high school I never really got to go to or graduate from. There's too much to think about. The person I could have been. Maybe I would have actually gone to school in New York. Maybe I would have something I really wanted to do with my life. I-I could have been someone completely different."

"Don't you think parts of us are set in stone?"

"Like fate?"

"Kind of. Don't you think you'd always be kind, always be a ball player? Don't you think I'd always suck or math or fall in love with you?"

Jude sounded serious and he looked even more so and Connor couldn't laugh. He couldn't shoot down the idea, even though he wanted to. He didn't think the idea of fate was funny, but he definitely thought it was uncomfortable. Fate meant that something had decided he deserved to be abused for years; that he deserved to have a father that couldn't decide whether or not to like him; and that he had a mother that deserved to die.

"I think that this is it. This is all we have. It's our choices that put us here. That's all."

"Hmm."

"But you don't agree."

"I usually sit in the middle of a lecture hall," Jude said.

"So?"

"So, the first day of classes this year, I was late and I had to sit in back. I didn't choose to be late. My car wouldn't start but it's not like the car decided that."

"You didn't have to choose to sit next to me after that."

"I couldn't just forget about you after I saw you."

Connor kissed Jude's forehead and tightened his arms around his boyfriend. "I wish it were that easy for me."

"What?"

"To be sweet and know romantic things like that to say without having to really think about it." Connor took Jude's hand in his own, repositioning it on his chest. "You make my heart race."

"I love you as you are," Jude said and he laughed. "I think it skipped a beat."

"Probably."

"So, if you're not going to show me your school, what would you like to show me?"

"The batting cages. There are good memories there. Um, I'd like you to go with me to put flowers on Mom's grave."

"It'd mean a lot to me to go with you."

Jude hooked his leg up over Connor's body.

"Other than that, I don't know what we'll do. I'm making dinner for us and Rachel."

"You think you'll like her?"

"I think Dad does and we live such separate lives that it would be unfair of me to be the deciding factor."

"Separate lives but you talk to him more than I talk to anyone in my family."

"Yeah, but nothing really gets said. You can open up to your family. That makes me a little jealous too."

"Maybe you and your dad will get better. If not, Moms have to parent everyone."

"Mmm." Connor stared upward at Jude's white ceiling. "I guess it's hard to imagine a world where Dad and I have an honestly good relationship."

"Maybe this trip will change things. You never know."

"No, I don't know," Connor agreed. "And that's what bothers me so much."

Jude laughed and it turned into a yawn.

"I thought you weren't tired."

"Maybe I'm slightly sleepy."

"So, let me get up and turn the lights off. You won't like to sleep on the plane."

"I wouldn't let myself."

"Why not?"

"Because planes freak you out and you wouldn't wake me if you needed me. Plus, it's only an hour. What kind of sleep could I get in an hour?"

"Well, you could get better sleep, here, in bed."

"I could. If I wanted to sleep."

"Instead you want me to talk to you."

"Or make out with me. I'd also be happy with a nice kiss. Or two. Or three."

Connor hesitated, wondering for a moment if this was the beginning he'd been waiting for. Was this Jude asking for physical things and then asking for more and more than that until Connor couldn't handle his requests anymore? No. That was ridiculous. Jude had asked for kisses before. Jude would never do that to him. His hand shook.

"I'm going to go turn the lights off."

"Baby."

Connor untangled himself from Jude and quickly turned out the lights. In the darkness, he pulled the curtains around the bed and fell into the still-warm spot on the mattress. Jude was right there to wrap himself around back around Connor, all long limbs and heat. The darkness was overwhelming and Connor almost regretted turning off the light. Connor turned his head and pressed his forehead to Jude's, sliding down the bed so that he could bury his head in between Jude's arms. He needed to be held; he needed to be the one who found comfort. Jude circled around him and it felt like the most welcoming hug he had ever experienced.

"You don't have to be so scared, baby. It's just your dad."

"What if he's there?"

"He won't be. He won't. No one knows you're going to be there. And you can wear that hat and those big sunglasses and no one will know. No one's going to be looking for you. Nothing scary. You're okay."

"What if I'm not?"

"What if you don't have to be scared every time you leave the house? What if he's not looking for you? What if we're here and safe and that's what we have and that's what matters?"

"I don't know and that's the problem."

"Do you know I love you?"

Connor nodded, crushing his ear against Jude's arm. "I … I know that. I think I'm sure about that."

"Me too."

"You should have been sure of that the first time you told me."

"I was! You can just … You can just get surer about something, you know, as time passes."

"Excuses, excuses."

Jude laughed. "Look at you, being funny."

"I'm not funny."

"A little bit. Sometimes. Not when you mean to be, though."

"See, if I was really funny, I'd be able to make you laugh on purpose."

"It's part of your charm."

"I don't have that, either."

"You charm me."

"Well, if you had standards, I wouldn't."

"Baby! That was mean!"

Jude still wasn't mad at him. He wasn't angry. Connor never wanted to see Jude angry again.

"I'm sorry."

"You set the standard, you know."

"You're not really convincing me that you have high standards, you know."

"Connor!" Jude laughed. "Shh."

"You told me to talk."

"Next time I'll give you talking points so you don't end up insulting us both with one sentence."

"You still don't sound mad."

"I'm not. It's hard to get mad at you. And I hate it when I am. It makes me feel gross."

"Gross."

"Gross. It's the only part of me and you that makes me anything less than happy. I don't want to be gross with you."

"Gross," Connor repeated again.

"Wrong word to use?" Jude guessed.

"A little," Connor murmured.

"Sorry."

Connor tilted his head upward and softly kissed Jude. "Goodnight, Jude."

"Still not tired."

"Now you're just being stubborn."

"Tell me a story, baby, and then I'll go to sleep."

"A story? About what?"

"About you."

"If I didn't care about you," Connor warned, "I wouldn't."

"But you do care about me," Jude said sleepily.

"Yeah, I do," Connor agreed, hunting around in his mind for something about himself that he hadn't told Jude yet. Not a snippet of something or a tiny piece, a real story. Something about himself that Jude didn't know. And Connor would do that for him because Connor would never let him down again, even in the smallest of ways.

And, so, he thought of a story of his first time playing on a winning baseball team and told Jude that. Because Connor wasn't letting him down.

(-.-)

"Shut it up."

"You're closer."

"Baby."

"Still closer."

Jude rolled over and killed the alarm that Connor had set, yanking the blanket up over his head and burrowing into Connor's ribs.

"Told you it was going to be an early morning."

"Did you set my snoozes?"

"Of course."

Jude yawned and his arm slung across Connor's waist. "Coffee."

"Another snooze and I'll make you coffee."

"No, lay with me for two more."

Jude turned over and grabbed Connor's hand, turning Connor over to wrap around him. Connor hid his head against the back of Jude's neck. Jude snorted and it half-sounded like a snore.

"Airport," Connor reminded him.

"Sleep."

"Airport."

"In five minutes," Jude argued. "Plus, coffee."

"Of course. I wouldn't let you go without your coffee."

"That's why I love you," Jude said through a yawn.

"Only that?"

"I have a million other reasons to."

A million? He had to be exaggerating but Connor didn't dare ask. Knowing Jude, he would probably start listing things and Connor knew he was going to just think that Jude was lying. No one could possibly think that many good things about him – even though he had to admit that if someone were going to, it would be Jude – by telling the truth. Connor didn't want to start the morning off thinking about that. Today would be hard enough without thinking that even Jude was lying to him. If there was one thing that Connor could trust Jude on, it was his honesty.

The second alarm started blaring and Jude hit it with a little more anger and a more antagonized groan escaped from him.

"Connor."

"What?"

"It's early."

"You knew that."

"I know. I want to forget."

Connor laughed at him and hugged him tightly again. Jude groaned and slid his head underneath of a pillow.

"One more snooze, and then coffee."

"Sleep forever."

"Not quite."

"Mean."

Connor kissed the back of Jude's neck. "Did you mean that?"

"No, no," Jude said. "Of course not."

Jude faced him so they were chest to chest, nose to nose, and Jude's leg hooked up over Connor's hip.

"You've spoilt me," Connor said.

"I really don't."

"No, you just … indulge my lazy mornings."

"I really love being lazy with you," Jude said. "I love it. It's my favourite activity with you."

"I don't know if it counts as an activity."

Jude groaned and then he pushed himself up, throwing his leg over Connor so that he was straddling his boyfriend. "Does this count as an activity?"

"I think so. Even if you kind of look like you're going to fall asleep on me."

"Then, wake me up."

Sometimes, it was still fascinating to Connor that Jude flirted with him. That Jude wanted to flirt with him. Someone like Jude saw something in him and wanted to keep him around, liked him for it, in fact. Connor pushed his hand up along Jude's leg, watching Jude smile. Connor pushed himself up onto his hands and pressed his lips to Jude's. Jude fell against him, kissing him desperately. Connor lifted one hand, and then the alarm went off, shattering the moment. Jude groaned loudly and lunged for the alarm. Connor sat up all the way but Jude rolled back into his lap, his head against Connor's thigh.

"Where are you going?" Jude whined.

"To make your coffee, so you can have the energy to get dressed, so we can make it into the cab and then to the airport."

"You left us lots of time to be early."

"Because I knew you'd do this."

"I'm just saying, you have time to kiss me once."

"I've already kissed you once."

"Baby, you know that's not what I meant."

Connor kissed him, softly and deliberately on the forehead. Jude groaned and then he erupted into a laugh.

"You know, it's so easy to tell when you're happy. I love the way that you are now." Jude raised his eyebrows and added, "Even though I love the way that you were when I met you too."

Jude knew him too well.

"Jude, I –" Connor's tongue tied in his mouth.

"You?"

"Should get you coffee," Connor said. "We can't be late."

"Coffee, clothes, cab," Jude said, holding up his pinkie. "Let's do this."

Connor hooked his finger over Jude's. "We can do this."

"That's the attitude!"

Jude pushed himself off the bed. Connor followed Jude, veering off into the kitchen and starting the coffee maker. Jude left the bathroom door open while he changed into his day clothes and Connor couldn't help but peek around the corner of the kitchen to watch Jude pull his jeans up over his hips. Jude turned to grab his shirt off the edge of the bathroom counter and caught Connor's eye. Connor flushed, as if he were going to be punished for wanting to see his boyfriend. It wasn't as if Jude had shut the door. It wasn't as if he had cared that much about privacy.

"Do you like playing peeping Tom with everyone or am I just special?"

"If you don't know that you're special by now, I'm really failing at this relationship thing."

"You think I'm special," Jude said, as if he were gloating about something. "And you made me coffee."

"Yeah. It's kind of like I really like you or something."

Jude laughed and pulled his shirt over his head. "You know, for all of your talking about getting ready to go, you're still in your pyjamas."

"I was making your coffee," Connor protested.

"And I'm just teasing you," Jude said. "Come on, you get dressed, I'll pour."

"Thanks."

Connor shut the bathroom door behind him, because he wasn't as confident or as fearless as Jude was. He didn't mind so much now if Jude saw him, because Jude had seen all of him, but Connor still wanted to be in control of it. He glanced at the shower as he slid his button-up over his shoulders and butterflies appeared in his stomach. But they weren't the ones that he'd been experiencing over his trip. These were the butterflies from Jude. Connor turned and opened the bathroom door. Jude was zipping up the side of their big suitcase, his coffee mug in his hand.

"Did I forget something?" Connor asked.

"No, no," Jude said. "I just think you're rubbing off on me and I felt the need to doublecheck it was all there."

"And was it?"

"Yeah." Jude picked a second mug up off the counter and offered it to Connor.

"Thanks."

Connor curled his hands around the warm porcelain and tried to take comfort from it.

"You don't have to look so scared, baby. It's just your dad."

"But it's not. It's being back in that town. It's wondering if he's there waiting for me. It's meeting Rachel. It's a million things." Connor sipped at his coffee, just for something to do. "And I hate planes."

"It's not even a long flight. We'll be okay. We've got each other now."

Connor nodded and he reached out one hand, just to hold onto Jude. They leant against the back of the couch, drinking their coffee as quickly as they could manage, because then they had to brush their teeth, pack their toothbrushes, and head out the door to meet their cab. Connor felt his stomach drop the further they drove away from Jude's. Adam coming to visit him was fine; Connor going home was not. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to do it again. It would probably depend on how this visit went, but Connor was gladder than ever that Jude was coming with him. He couldn't imagine doing it without Jude. Jude was his strength.

They arrived at the airport and Connor felt as though his heart was in his mouth as he paid the baggage fee. They were close to leaving. He was going to be out of the safe bubble that he had formed for himself and, unlike when he went to New York, he wasn't going to be entering a strange, new place full of distractions. The last time that he had been in his father's home, there had had been nothing but pain for him. Even with Jude at his side, it was hard to picture being happy there.

He hooked his backpack over his shoulders, putting one hand on each of the straps and clinging to them. He needed something to hold onto. Jude rolled the large suitcase behind him and they walked through the front doors. It was early and it was still bustling with people and Connor almost froze in the middle of the bright, tiled floor. There were too many people. Too much could happen.

"I can't do this."

"Yes, baby, you can. You're going to be able to walk on the plane and we're going to watch part of a stupid plane movie and then we're going to get off the plane and we're going to spend an uncomfortable but decently good week at your dad's. That's all there is. Come on. We can do this."

Connor's fingers itched and he wanted to reach for his baseball cap but he knew how he would look, skulking around the airport in a ball cap. He knew that he would have to take it off for security anyway. He took a deep breath and looked at Jude's outstretched hand but he didn't want to take it. He just didn't want to do anything that could attract attention and Connor knew how PDA attracted attention. Single people, wondering if their relationship was good. Couples, wondering if their relationship was better. He clutched his bag straps more tightly.

"C-c-can we, um, find the gate? Please. I … I'll find … I mean, find the gate. I … I feel better when I c-c-can know when we're g-g-going."

"Okay. We do have to go through security first."

"I know."

"And get rid of the bag."

"You mean check it in, right? No, like, leave it in the hall?"

Jude laughed. "Right. Check-in."

Jude started padding along the airport and Connor followed him. It was easier just to follow along sometimes and he wanted to be strong and he wanted to be independent, like all of the things that Dr. Scott and Adam said that he would be someday, just like he should have been all along, but sometimes, he just had to give in. It was easier to give in to Jude, to someone that he knew and trusted and who would hold him properly when he needed it. Jude found check-in. Jude talked and smiled at all the people who needed to be talked to and smiled at. Jude put the bag down to be carried off to their flight. Jude found the way to security and they were about to step into the line when Connor's feet just stopped.

"Connor?"

"I can't go through security."

"Why?"

"People in front of me and people behind me and I … I don't know any of them and they could be anybody and they just stand so close to each other."

"They're just here to get on flights, just like you. That's all. You go ahead of me, okay? You can control how close you stand to the person in front of you and you'll know that it's just me behind you. Just me."

But that was hard too, because Connor still couldn't really handle Jude behind him. He was too used to surprise, to pain. There was nothing that he could do about it, though, and he knew that it was the best option. What other option was there? He had to get on that plane. He had to go through security to get on the plane. It was going to be fine.

"It's fine, right? It's fine."

"It's completely fine. I promise. We'll be on the other side of security and bickering about plane snacks before you know it. I promise, it's fine."

"We're not going to bicker about plane snacks."

"Why? We bicker. I mean, otherwise, we're perfect, but we bicker."

Connor almost grinned, peering up at Jude's face. "I packed your work hoard in my backpack. We don't need any more plane food."

"See, it's just fine."

Jude's brown eyes were so trustworthy and so this time, Connor led the way to the back of the security line. He ended up standing behind an old woman, who was rifling through her purse, asking the woman in front of her if she was sure that they had locked the house behind them. Connor kept his distance from her; the last thing he wanted was an elbow in his ribs from the way that she was fidgeting around. He half-turned, trying to keep Jude's face in the corner of his eye while also trying to see the rest of the airport. Which was impossible. He couldn't see everything. He couldn't be aware of everything. He shuffled through security, wishing for it to go as fast as humanly possible. He couldn't handle slow. Not today. He and Jude got to follow the lady through to line four and it wasn't hard to slip off their shoes and put the backpack in a tray to walk through the security gate.

Despite the fact that Connor didn't think he took a breath until he had his shoes back on and his bag against his back again. His head was spinning. It wasn't even that loud in the airport. It was early; most of the people around him were essentially asleep on their feet. But there were more people than he could possibly keep track of. There was more than he could know.

"Connor, do you want to go find our gate?"

No. He wanted to wake up in bed, next to Jude, and have it be an ordinary morning. He wanted to make breakfast and the bed and sip at his coffee with Jude's feet in his lap until Jude went to work and Connor scoured his reading app for a novel to start, now that he didn't have studying and classes to worry about. A novel with sweet words in quotes that he could write on Post-It notes to stick in Jude's lunch, the way that Jude left notes and hearts in his journal. He wanted something more than the poetry blog that he knew Jude flicked through too, just so he could write down something that Jude hadn't seen before. But he couldn't do that. Because they had to go find their gate and get on a plane and go visit his father.

"We'll get water on the way, find seats that we won't get closed in on. We'll be just fine."

"Thank you, Jude."

"It's what I'm here for."

Jude smiled at him, his smile beautiful. His smile was always beautiful and Connor was lucky. Lucky to have him.

"Okay. Gate," Connor agreed, and off they went.

They were a little early but not so early that the area was empty. There were people. A lot of people. They sat down against the wall.

"You can get a seat," Connor said. "You don't need to sit here with me like this."

"But, I want to," Jude protested. "I'm not going to leave you all alone."

Connor pulled his bag into his lap and wrapped his arms around it.

"How long until we board?"

"Less than half an hour," Jude said, and Connor could tell he was trying so hard to be upbeat. "We won't be in airports for that long. You'll feel better once you're with your dad, won't you?"

"I hope so. I mean, I'll feel bad in a different way. Is that better?"

"No."

At least Connor was able to laugh at that.

"We could dig out the candy. That might help."

"You have a sweet tooth."

"We knew that."

"You just brushed your teeth."

"You're my boyfriend, not my babysitter."

Connor found the candy in the side of the bag and pulled out the chocolate for Jude. He took one for himself and tried to concentrate on the way that the caramel inside stuck to his tongue. The alternative was to look at how the area around them was filling up.

"Want to know something?" Jude asked, and Connor was grateful for his voice.

"What?"

"I … I've never been on a plane before."

"Wha –" Connor pulled his gaze away from the gate attendants to look at Jude. "I didn't know that."

"I know, that's why I told you. It's not a big deal. I'm not scared. I think."

"I don't know if we've ever been scared together."

"We probably have, we just might not have noticed it. We'll be okay."

Connor let one hand slide from his bag and grab Jude's, hiding their hands between their hips as the first-class passengers stared to board the plane. Connor let out a shaky breath and ducked his head down. He would be okay. He squeezed Jude's hand and revised, I'll be okay if I don't let go. Jude grounded him. It was what he had always thought about Jude and he knew it to be true. And he clung to that and he clung to Jude's hand as it was their turn to get on. Connor led the way to their seats: all the way at the back of the plane, just in front of the lavatory. It wasn't the ideal place to be sitting but it meant that there would be nothing but a seatback behind him, instead of a bunch of heads that he couldn't possibly keep track of. Connor took the window seat while Jude sat in the centre. The seat on the aisle stayed empty but Connor wasn't sure how long that could last at all. The three seats in front of them were already filled and Connor felt the need to be silent, to compensate for the hushed noise as other passengers tried to speak with each other while not disturbing the rest of the plane. He tucked his bag down next to his feet and then he clenched Jude's hand in his own.

"I get to be the nervous one now, remember?"

Jude was joking and the humour made him smile. Connor turned his head to look at Jude and the grin only widened.

"You have chocolate on your lip again. You always manage to do that." Connor lifted his thumb and tenderly wiped it off his skin. Jude kissed the pad of his thumb. "You just want me to take care of you."

"Well, you're so good at it. I love that about you too. That it feels like you really know me."

"I think I do." Connor's breath stopped as an old woman lowered herself into the seat next to Jude. Jude wasn't her watching her as closely and was more interested in leaning over Connor to peek out the window.

"I think you definitely do." Jude stretched his hands out in front of him. "I just want to take off, you know? I'm excited for that part."

Connor opened his mouth, wanting to say that it wasn't all that exciting; Jude could probably close his eyes and imagine what it would be like. But those weren't the words that came out, because Jude was excited. And, Connor could admit, that he was a killjoy. Other people might find the take-off thrilling. Jude might love it. Jude might love it so much that he would let out that little laugh, almost childlike in its innocence, that sent Connor's heart fluttering because if magic existed, it was in Jude's laugh.

"I won't spoil it for you," Connor said. "It'll be great."

"It's not even that long of a flight, right?"

"Right," Connor murmured. "Are you … anxious?"

"A little bit. I think I'm hungry. We should remember that for next time we fly. Jude would prefer to be fed before take-off."

"I'll make a note," Connor promised.

The pilot came on, announcing that they were about to start pushing away from the gate. Connor clenched his hand tightly around Jude's as the plane start moving. Jude leant onto his shoulders, staring out the window.

"It's so dark," Connor said.

"I know," Jude whined. "There's not much to see."

"It'll still be beautiful," Connor promised him.

Jude kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks for saying that."

They started going down the runway and Connor clenched his eyes closed. Truthfully, he hated takeoff. He hated having to face that he was stuck on a plane for any amount of time; that he had no option of where to go or where to be. He had to stay in his seat, contained between the walls of the chair until the plane touched down. And then he had to sit for even longer, trying not to fidget as the plane emptied, so that he could be the very last one off, save the flight attendants, who he ran away from as fast as he could possibly manage. He felt the plane lurch.

"Oh, baby, we're up."

There it was: magic, in Jude's voice. As Jude peered for the window, Connor turned his head into Jude's shoulder.

"I wish planes actually went high enough that we flew between stars but that sounds like something that a ten-year-old would say."

"I like that you said it, anyway."

Jude's hand held tight to the front of his shirt. "Why aren't you looking?"

"Because I hate planes."

They had reached the point where the captain clicked the seatbelt sign off. Connor let out a long sigh and forced his eyes open. Jude slid the armrest between them up so that he could shimmy even closer to the window. Connor laughed quietly; flying with Jude was already better than any of the other trips he had taken.

"Oh, Connor, look at the clouds."

Jude gripped his arm, leaning heavily against him like the world's most awkward blanket. He was fascinated with the window, even when they were nearly halfway through their flight, he hadn't moved at all. Connor dug out his journal, trying to find the page that he had left off at. Instead, he came across one of Jude's written quotes, in a messy scrawl, as if he'd been in a rush when he was writing it.

I wasn't admiring

the freckles on your skin;

I was stargazing.

& when I said I wanted

to make love to you,

I meant all of you.

& when you felt my fingers

tracing poetry

over parts of you that

were supposedly broken,

know that all I saw

were prisms, refracted light,

& everything I wanted

to make mine – Amanda Torroni.

Connor reached down and hugged took Jude's hand, lifting it up and carefully kissing the back of his hand.

"That's really sweet."

Jude's chin pressed into his shoulder. "Oh, yeah. I wrote that one a while ago."

"Does it take me a long time to find things?"

"Sometimes. But I'm starting to crowd your pages. Between the two of us, you're going to need a new journal soon."

"That's okay. I don't mind you in my space."

"Now," Jude teased. "Remember when I met you? I'd accidentally touch your foot and you would teleport back to your dorm room."

"That's a massive exaggeration," Connor whispered, trying to keep his voice down. Their neighbour was sleeping and Connor was sure that the people in front of them were napping too. He didn't want to bother anyone.

"Not really but I fell in love with you anyway."

"That was your fault."

"No. If you weren't so lovable, I wouldn't love you. And I do."

Connor felt a blush start to rise on his cheeks. "You, um, you can't be like that when … when we're with Dad."

"You mean, just when he's in front of us or at all on the trip?"

"Just in front of him."

"Deal."

Connor flipped back a few pages in his journal, finding the spot where he left off. While he tried to gather thoughts within his tired mind, Jude lifted his left arm and snuggled against his side, picking idly at the sides of Connor's jeans. His hand wandered up and down, poking at the top of Connor's thigh. Once, his hand journeyed up too far and Connor poked the top of his hand with his pen. It was natural, casual. Like a thing that occurred in relationships, between two people that were comfortable. He didn't have to stop and worry about whether or not he had hurt Jude or whether or not Jude would be angry. He knew he hadn't hurt Jude; he knew Jude wasn't angry. And Jude laughed quietly, throwing his arms back around Connor, vainly attempting to do it again.

"Stop it," Connor murmured.

"Mile high club?"

"Jude!" Connor anxiously glanced over at their far neighbour, still snoring on her neck pillow.

"What? We're almost done with the flight but we've still got some time."

"Mind out of gutter," Connor instructed, reaching up with his hand and stroking Jude's hair. "We're … not there. You know we're not there."

"I know. But, I thought I could try and tempt you anyway."

"You do." Connor kissed Jude's forehead. "But we're not there."

"I'll get you on the flight back."

"We'll see."

"I'll take it."

Connor closed his journal and put up his tray, dislodging Jude so that he could repack his bag. The seatbelt light came on and they were about to descend. He didn't want to descend. The armrest between them slid back down but Connor held onto Jude's hand for all it was worth. It was lighter now and Jude was practically sitting on Connor's lap, as far as his seatbelt would allow.

"Baby, it's beautiful. How can you keep your eyes closed?"

"I hate this part."

"You hate every part."

He was right, of course. Connor felt the lurch of the plane really going down and he sucked in a breath until he felt the wheels touch down. He was home but there was no sense of relief in that thought and there was no connection. The world would be familiar, but it wasn't home. He felt a certain restlessness come over the other passengers as the plane inched toward the gate. Connor just tried to pry his eyes open.

"Can we go home now?" he asked of Jude.

"It's going to be a good visit!" Jude said optimistically. "You'll see."

Connor wished he trusted Jude that much. He held tightly to Jude until the plane had mostly emptied out and then he let Jude lead the way off the plane.

"Are we allowed to hold hands in front of your dad?" Jude asked, swinging their joined hands between them. "Or does that count as PDA?"

"You'll hold my hand in front of your moms."

"And put my arm around you. And I'd kiss you a little, little bit."

"I think that anything we would do in front of your moms would be okay to do in front of my dad," Connor said. "I wouldn't say my dad is more of a prude that Stef and Lena, so, I think it's okay."

"But I'm not allowed to flirt with you?"

"No. It makes me too flustered. Makes me want to kiss you in a way I shouldn't."

"Oh, you should do whatever you want to me whenever you want me."

"See, that's what I'm talking about." Connor tapped his thumb against Jude's wrist. "Come on, Dad said he'd be waiting by baggage claim."

"And then breakfast, please."

"As soon as possible," Connor promised him. If he survived the crowd in the airport. Baggage claim was a mess and he wondered how he was supposed to find Adam in a mess like this.

"Oh, I see him! This way, baby."

Connor hung onto Jude's one hand with both of his own, letting Jude take him through the crowds of people to where Adam was standing. His father smiled and Connor made himself smile back. He had to act like this vacation was going to be wonderful. It was going to be great. If he acted like it was going to be terrible, he knew that it would become so. It was going to be bad enough and Connor wasn't about to tempt fate.

"Hey, how was the flight?" Adam asked.

"It was good. No turbulence. Easy," Connor said.

"Good, good. How are you, Jude?"

"Great, thanks. You?"

"Great. Um, what colour are your bags?"

"We're sharing a big red one," Connor said. "Hopefully, it will be here soon."

"Feeling overwhelmed?" Jude asked, low enough that Adam didn't even turn his head.

Connor could only nod and Jude squeezed him gently. "We'll be out of here soon."

Connor tried to believe it, but it was still a while of standing, feeling claustrophobic and sweaty, until Jude spotted their bag coming down the line. Connor actually felt full relief.

"So," Adam said, dragging the bag off the line for the two of them, "Would you like to go out for breakfast and then go home or would you like to get settled at home and then get something to eat?"

"Let's go eat first," Connor said. "Once I get in the house, I don't know if you'll be able to get me back out."

"Today," Jude said. "But we were up early this morning. Maybe you should nap before we try to do anything later."

"That sounds like a great idea!" Adam said. "I couldn't take your entire visit off from work, because of the New York trip."

"That's okay, Dad." Connor watched Adam roll the suitcase along behind him. He should take it from his father.

"So, I have to go into the office today. I thought that there wasn't anything you'd want to do today, maybe even tomorrow, but then for a couple of days after that, I'll be off for us to do things together. Is that all right?"

"I think it worked out great, honestly," Connor admitted. "You're right. Today and tomorrow, I just want slow."

"After breakfast," Jude said.

"Yes, of course."

"Are you hungry?" Adam asked.

"Oh, a little. We didn't get the chance to eat before we got on the plane, so, I'm looking forward to breakfast."

Adam stopped next to a small dark car and opened the trunk. "Anywhere in particular you'd like to go, Connor?"

"No, um, wherever you want to go is fine."

"We'll go to the pancake place close to the house. No point in going out of the way."

The trunk slammed and Connor skittered to the passenger door, relaxing into the seat of the car. It was getting older now but the only memories Connor had of it were from the time after his ex. It had been a shock that the old red car was gone now, replacing by something smaller and faster and blue. It was a car that he had never seen or that his mother had never seen. The world had been different the last time that he had been here and now, coming back again, the world was changed again, because of the brunet boy sitting the backseat, avidly looking out the window like Connor didn't live in a place that looked like every other place. Connor snaked his arm backward, on the side with the door so Adam didn't notice, and brushed his fingers along Jude's knee until Jude held his hand again.

Now, there was breakfast. Connor could survive breakfast.

(-.-)

Jude could admit that it wasn't the type of house that he had pictured Connor growing up in. He had pictured something stereotypical – one level, idyllic, small. Something like a cottage, from the way that Connor had described his mother. It was larger than Jude thought. It was two stories, painted white with boxes for flower beds, even though there were no flowers in them. Adam stopped in the driveway.

"For the next days I have to work, I'll get a ride with someone else so that you can really show Jude around."

"Thank you, Dad, you didn't have to do that."

"It's all right. As long as Jude is careful with the car."

"I will be. Thank you for trusting me."

Adam took a key off his key ring and handed it to Connor before popping the trunk. Jude slid out of the car and quickly went around to grab the suitcase while Connor said goodbye to Adam.

"I love you," Adam called out the window.

"You too, Dad. Bye."

Connor waved and adjusted the backpack over his shoulder, squaring his shoulders as he looked at the house.

"Are you going to let me in, baby?"

"Oh, yes, of course."

Jude carefully maneuvered the suitcase to the door, which Connor held open for him, letting him into a bright space. It was sparse – not a lot of decorations were on the walls and there wasn't much to look at.

"Grand tour and then a nap?" Connor suggested.

"Sure. I'm curious about your room."

Connor laughed a little. "Um, leave the bag there for now. I don't think we need anything out of it, right?"

Jude shrugged. Connor let his backpack lean against the suitcase and then he took Jude's hand. "So, living room."

Jude trailed behind him through the rooms. They all looked the same: not a lot of photos or decorations, just furniture and surprisingly bright paint on the walls. The furniture was all homey: big and wooden, overstuffed and comfortable looking. The only room Connor didn't take him through downstairs was the small room that served as Adam's office. Connor skipped the stairs down to the basement and instead led Jude upwards.

"Um, Dad's room, bathroom, and my room."

Connor opened the door and Jude walked in. It looked like stepping into the room of a young teenager, from the books to the fading sports posters to the actual sports memorabilia. There were actually a large number of sports trophies decorating the windowsill, which the single bed was stretched out under.

"It's not much of a room," Connor admitted.

"I think it's great." Jude turned his back on the room to face Connor, dipping his head and pressing a kiss to Connor's forehead. "Is it so bad being here?"

"No, but it's just over an hour since we landed. Lots of time left for things to go wrong."

Jude kissed the edge of Connor's jaw. "Are we napping in your room?"

"Oh, no. Um, it's a single bed, anyway. We don't want that. It's one of the reasons you've never stayed in my dorm."

"You're just protective over your space," Jude accused, kissing Connor on the other side of his jaw.

"I've been good about it," Connor insisted. "The apartment …"

"Is my space and I think that helps you share."

"All yours?"

"No, not all mine. Would it scare you to say 'ours'?"

"Yes. Come on. I'll show you the basement."

"Oh, really?"

"Mhm. It's finished. It's the most comfortable room, I'd say because it's just family and close friends allowed down there."

"Close friends," Jude repeated.

"You know what I meant."

Jude went to go kiss Connor's lips but Connor was pulling him back down the stairs. They rounded into the basement, which had green carpet on the floor. Down here, it felt like a home. The couch looked nice, but sat in. There was a large TV on the back wall and there were photos. Lots of photos, mostly of Connor, under the age of ten. That was exactly what Jude had been wanting. He reached for the nearest picture, which was Connor grinning wildly at about five years old, dressed in pyjamas and holding up a baseball glove.

"Christmas, the year I started playing."

"You're adorable."

"It feels like it was someone else."

Connor pulled the frame from Jude's hands and put it back on the shelf. Jude wrapped his arms around Connor.

"You going to be less grumpy after a nap?"

"Maybe. I really want to nap."

"Then nap we will."

Connor sat heavily down on the couch. Jude sank in next to him and he exhaled.

"This is so comfy. Think your dad would send it to me?"

Connor laughed. "You don't want it. It's old."

Jude stretched out, flattening his back against the cushions. It was larger than his couch at home, giving far more room for Connor to slid in along the inside of the couch. He curled Jude's arm around his waist, laying his head on Jude's chest. Jude reached one hand out and grabbed the T.V. remote from the coffee table; the other hand, he slid under the hem of Connor's shirt, resting along the scarred mess of his ribs.

"What do you want to watch, baby?"

"Something normal," Connor said. "Or, um, whatever you want. I want to go to sleep."

"But I was the one who was so hard to wake up this morning," Jude teased.

"Being anxious is exhausting and I've been anxious for hours."

Jude kissed the top of Connor's head. "You comfortable?"

"Mmm."

Connor grabbed a green, fringed blanket off the back of the couch and haphazardly draped it across them. His arm flopped across Jude's stomach and Jude thought he might have been mostly asleep by the time that Jude got the TV on, let alone found something that he could watch and that wouldn't bother Connor. He felt tired but he didn't feel tired enough to sleep. He just looked down at Connor, relaxed and sweet, his hand curled around the hem of Jude's shirt. Jude rested his head against the top of Connor's, the silk of his hair tickling Jude's cheek. Jude wanted to lift his hand, run his fingers through the strands of Connor's hair and have Connor just completely fall into him. Connor sighed in his sleep, his head fall away from Jude's to lay lower on his chest. Connor stretched out, his leg sliding over Jude's, as if Jude were one of the large pillows that he liked to cuddle when he had to go to bed alone. Jude just stared down at him – at the way his cheek was mashed against Jude, so that his pink lips were partially pouted out; and the way that his eyelashes were stark black, particularly against his pale skin.

And Jude was just so in love with him.

He was glad that Connor knew that. More than that, he was glad that Connor liked it now, rather than running away from it. And he wondered, as he often did, what Connor felt for him. If it was close to love, if it could be comparable to what Jude felt for him. He knew Connor liked him but he wondered just how Connor felt, compared to how Connor felt for his ex-boyfriend. Jude didn't like to think about it, would really rather not worry about it all, but he knew that it would always come back to him. He was human and even though he could intellectually know things, his heart sometimes went off on its own worried tangents. Connor didn't love him; Connor wouldn't have sex with him. Connor had said he loved his ex; Connor had sex with his ex. But it wasn't the same. Jude would do anything to make sure that it wasn't the same, because Connor was safe here, safe with him. Jude would never let anything happen to him again, particularly anything like what had happened to him before. Jude loved him, more than he had ever loved anything else before. And he knew that he would never want to be without him again, not since he knew what that was like. He had known Connor for less than a year and when he looked at the man sleeping on his chest, Jude knew that Connor was more. He was more than just a college sweetheart, a passing attraction, or someone he could just move on from. He didn't know of he should even be thinking it at this point and he knew that he wouldn't be able to put it into words for Connor just yet, but when Jude looked at him, Jude felt like he was looking at his future.

A crash of symbols rang out over the room, born from the commercial playing in the background.

"No!"

Connor bolted upright at the sound.

"Shh, baby, it's okay." Jude held onto Connor's hips lightly. "It's me. You're safe, it's okay."

"J-Jude," Connor breathed, turning to look at him. Jude watched his eyes start to clear. "Wh-what was … What?"

"Just the TV," Jude promised. "And you might have been dreaming. You were a little twitchy, like you were dreaming."

Connor reached down and grabbed onto Jude's hands, lifting them from his body to hold them tightly. "I'm not dreaming now."

"No, I don't think so."

Connor rested back down against Jude, his head on the pillow next to him instead of on him this time. One arm was trapped under Connor again and Jude already felt the tingling in his fingers, like it was about to go to sleep. Jude just slid his hand back under Connor's shirt, back to the warmth of his body.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Maybe forty minutes. This show's not even over."

"What are we watching?"

"Worst Cooks. Audition round, my favourite."

Connor whined. "I still don't understand how you can call yourself a bad cook after watching this."

"At least they're trying to flavour things. All of my food is bland."

"Except for your sandwiches."

"Right, because I make really good sandwiches."

"You do."

"I love you, Connor."

"I know," Connor whispered. "You're my favourite person, Jude."

That was something amazing too. Connor pushed himself up on his elbow and turned Jude's head toward him. The moment of anticipation before the kiss felt almost as good as the kiss itself. Almost, but not quite.

"Making out with me on your dad's couch isn't against the rules?" Jude teased.

"Dad's not home, it doesn't count. We won't make out on the couch when he comes home for lunch."

"Well, we better make sure we get enough making out down before he comes home for lunch."

Connor pulled Jude upward.

"Can I take your shirt off, Jude?"

"You can do whatever you want to me," Jude promised.

Connor smiled, soft and sweet. He tugged Jude's shirt over his head and then he sat up, folding it and resting it on the coffee table. Jude had to laugh at him, but he loved that too. He loved the way that Connor leant back on his side and softly ran his fingers along Jude's abdomen. His eyes flickered up to Jude's and Jude watched his eyes. Connor's eyes that could look green or brown or any mix of the two and were always just so bright.

"I love your eyes, baby."

Connor's smile widened and he tapped his fingers, half-anxiously against Jude's ribs. Jude watched throat bob with a swallow. "Will you tell me the rest?"

"The … rest?"

"You love my eyes and …" Connor prompted, lowering his gaze as his cheeks went bright red.

"And everything else." Was it so wrong to hope that it meant something Connor was asking? But then, fear crept in. The last time that Connor had asked for Jude to say he loved him, Connor had left him. "Why?"

"You like to say it. I thought it would make you happy if I asked you to say it." Connor sat up fully. "And, um, it makes me happy when I hear it."

Jude felt his heart lift and he crawled into Connor's lap, wrapping his legs around Connor's waist. Connor's large hands covered his back.

"Please, don't knock me over," Connor pleaded.

"I won't," Jude said. "But, I might knock me over."

Connor cocked his head to the side, considering. "If you're okay with it. But, maybe, um, not for another minute or two."

"Why not?"

"Because I like you where you are."

"And would you like it if I kissed you?"

Connor nodded. "I think I always like that."

Jude bent his head and let his lips drift across Connor's. It was Connor that pulled him closer, his hands spreading over Jude's body, leaving heated trails that made Jude feel wanted. It made him feel like he was desirable, which was something that Jude didn't know how to feel. He didn't know what to do about it, except to tighten his legs around Connor and whimper when Connor's mouth left his lips to gently trail kisses along his neck. Connor was so gentle with him that almost all of his touches felt like he was teasing Jude, but Jude loved that too. Jude loved him so much that he loved almost everything about him. Jude shoved his fingers under the back of Connor's shirt, lifting and pulling until Connor was half-naked against him, Connor's own hands sliding further down Jude's back toward his butt. Jude lifted himself into Connor's hands, just wanting to be touched, just wanting to be loved, by the man that he loved. Jude leant back, falling onto the couch cushion again, taking Connor with him. He wondered if he could tempt Connor into doing something or making the first move. Connor held himself up, hovering over Jude. The way Connor looked at him sometimes made Jude feel naked, in the best way possible, because he wanted someone who knew him so well.

"You know, I hated it when you were gone," Jude whispered.

"I hated it when I was gone too. I can't believe I could have given you up. Almost as unbelievable as the fact that you let me come back to you."

"I couldn't be anywhere else. I couldn't have you be anywhere else. We were supposed to be here."

"The fate thing again." Connor's hair fell into his eyes as he shook his head.

"Something like that."

Jude pushed himself up on his elbows in order to kiss Connor again, soft and sweet, and to run his hands along the beautifully sculpted chest that Connor had.

"Jude?"

"Mhm?" Jude asked. He loved talking to Connor but there were some moments where Jude would rather focus on other things.

"This is all for now, okay?"

"Okay. I've got you right where I want you, anyway." And then he winked at Connor, even though he wasn't really the type of boy to wink, because Connor brought out that side of him.

Connor smiled at him and slid his thumb across Jude's ribs. "You have goosebumps. Are you cold?"

"No. Just really into you."

Jude slid his hand up Connor's chest and touched the bottom of the long scar. Connor let out a shaky exhale and lowered himself over Jude, covering him like a blanket. Jude closed his eyes before Connor kissed him, finding Connor's lips without even trying. He moaned from the lightest touches, the softest contact, and he'd had a taste, before, of what it felt like when Connor let go a little. He wondered how it would feel if Connor ever let go completely. Jude hitched his leg up over Connor's hip and he managed to illicit a groan from Connor.

"You can't keep doing that," Connor said, his breath hitching.

"Why?"

"Because you drive me crazy when you do," Connor confessed. "And I don't know what to do with that feeling."

"Is it something you want to run away from?" Jude asked, biting down on his lip. Connor reached up and freed his lip from his teeth.

"You can't do that to me either. And, no. I'm through with running away from you. It doesn't do anything but hurt us."

"Oh, you just don't want me to turn you on," Jude realized.

"I don't know if you could avoid doing that."

"See, I love the sound of that."

Connor brushed his lips against Jude's. "You love everything."

"I love you."

Connor pressed against him, his hand sliding against Jude's back so that they were even closer together. Jude couldn't breathe with the way that they touched and when Connor kissed him again, he brought up his other leg to wrap around Connor's waist and Connor's hips grinded against his own and Jude felt as if his soul was about to leave his body. Connor's hand made it down Jude's back, fingers awkwardly making it into Jude's back pocket, massaging gently. Jude tried to control himself but he lost his grip on that too and thrust his hips back against Connor. All he felt was the heat of Connor's skin under his palms, the quickness of his breath as he turned his head and desperately pulled in air before just returning to their kiss.

When Connor's phone rang, Jude immediately became resentful. Connor pulled away from him completely, including both of the hands that had been cupped around him.

"Hi, Dad … No, no, just napping. The, uh, the ringtone, um, startled me … Fine. Yes, sure … Okay. We'll have lunch … Yes, I'm glad I'm home too … Yeah, you too … Bye, Dad." Connor put his cell phone down on the coffee table. "Dad, um, will be home for lunch in about an hour."

"So, we still have an hour?" Jude asked.

"No, I, um, I want to make, um, something nice for lunch. For my first day with him."

"All right. Let's go make something good."

Connor picked up his wrinkled shirt off the floor and passed Jude his folded one.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to get into the habit of folding when we're in the middle of making out."

"That's okay. I know it's one of my quirks."

Connor pulled his shirt over his head and Jude crept up, wrapping his arms around Connor. "I like your quirks."

Jude felt Connor relax against him and he held Connor's body to his own. For a moment, Connor let himself just fall into Jude and Jude was happy to just hold him tightly. Connor rarely let himself be the small one, even when he was letting Jude comfort him. Jude rested his head atop Connor's and closed his eyes, half-hoping that Connor would never remember that there was lunch to make. Jude just wanted to hold Connor in his arms forever.

The chapter's title is after the song Malibu by Miley Cyrus. If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~