Outtake One: First Momma

Bella

When Edward woke up at noon after his last night shift of the week, I was in the living room, looking up gift ideas for Sofia as I enjoyed the peace and quiet. Christmas was only three weeks away, and we had barely begun to shop.

"Little One was sucking her thumb," Edward said, sitting down beside me. "I pulled it out, but I think she's still pissed about weaning her off the pacifier."

I nodded, looking over and smiling. "I bet she looked cute, though."

"Fucking adorable," he laughed, lowering his lips to mine. "So, what's going on? I feel like I haven't seen you in days."

"You saw me this morning and yesterday evening," I said. "But I miss you, too. The play will be over soon, and then I'll have a little while off before school starts back up after Christmas. And speaking of which, we have got to go shopping for Sofia. I wrote up a list of ideas."

He chuckled as I turned my laptop to him, showing him the document. "Let's just buy everything. I want to give her every single thing she could want. I mean, it's her first Christmas, after all."

"Why do I have a feeling she's going to be one spoiled little daddy's girl?" I smirked.

"Because that's my goal. The daddy's girl part, I mean." He grinned.

The change from how Edward was when I met him to now was . . . astounding, actually. Sometimes, I wondered if this was even the same man. He went from whoring around to being a great man and father.

When I first saw him, I was . . . stunned. He was devastatingly handsome. Tall, lean, a little scruff on his face, and these beautiful green eyes. He made my heart race . . . But then, I realized how he was, and his looks didn't seem so great anymore.

Sure, he was still beautiful, but his personality wasn't. He brought home a different girl every few nights. Sometimes she'd leave in the middle of the night — you know, after he had his fun — and sometimes I'd find them slipping out of his apartment as I left for work. Each woman was gorgeous — thin, long legs, and tiny dresses. He had a type all right. It was called easy.

But then, there was another woman. She looked like the others, but with one very big difference. She had a baby. A little girl who, swear to God, was the most beautiful thing in the world. She captured my heart the first time I saw her.

I watched as he struggled — after all, he didn't even know how to change a diaper — I watched as he fell in love with the little girl, and I watched as he transformed into the man he was today. There were no more women in tight dresses, he eased up on his curse words, and he became a good man. It took him a while to admit his love for his daughter, but once he did, it was like a floodgate opened. He adored that little girl. The way he lit up was . . . it made him more gorgeous and breathtakingly handsome than ever before.

Fatherhood suited him.

He changed so drastically for his daughter . . . and for me. I couldn't deny that I had a crush on him in those first few months, but I never dreamed it'd turn into this. We were living together, and I was completely in love. It seemed to have happened so quickly — and trust me, I had questioned it in the beginning — but it seemed so right.

I never really believed I could be this happy with someone. I wanted it, but wanting and believing we're two completely different things. He made me laugh like no one else could. Whether it was something he said or did, I would sometimes laugh so hard that my stomach hurt. And trust me, watching him figure out how to take care of Sofia in the beginning was the funniest thing in the world, but it was also the sweetest thing.

She changed him. Hell, she changed me. That little girl didn't realize it, but she was the cutest, most special girl in the world. And she was now mine. Not legally yet, but he called me momma. He wanted his daughter to be mine, and that was the most precious gift I could have ever received.

Edward turned on a documentary and I got back to my list, but it wasn't long before I heard Sofia start to cry on the monitor. I quickly stopped him from getting up, wanting to get our little girl myself. She was at such an adorable age, and I cherished each moment I could spend with her. When I walked into the nursery, I found her sitting up as she cried.

"Oh, sweet girl," I said, picking her up. "What's got you down? Is it diaper time?"

The smell confirmed my suspicion, so I laid her down on the table, latching the strap before changing her. I just cooed at her, smiling as her cries eased and she babbled. Once she was all done, I lifted her back up and kissed her cheek.

"I guess nap time's over, huh?" I asked. "Daddy's up, so let's go see him."

"Dada!" she squealed.

"Yep, I'm sure he wants his Little One, just as much as you want him," I laughed softly.

Her excitement for her daddy was so precious. He really was her world. When he'd come home from work, she'd crawl right to him. When he tickled her and kissed her over and over, her giggled was different, somehow. She loved him, and I hoped she loved me, too. It seemed like it. She was always thrilled to see me when I picked her up from daycare, reaching out for me when one of the staff members brought her over. For the few hours in the afternoon that we were alone together, she was attached to me.

When I walked back into the living room, Edward looked up, smiling and holding arms out as I passed her to him.

"Hey, baby girl," he said. "Did you have a good nap?"

"I'm going to get her something to eat," I said, leaning down to kiss him.

"Thanks, Bella. I love you."

"I love you, too."

. . . . .

After getting Sofia her food, I heated up some leftovers from Thanksgiving for Edward and me. We had gone to his parents' house the other day for it, but had to leave early since Edward was working the night shift. His mom's turkey was amazing and huge, so we were still enjoying the leftovers.

"What do you want to do today?" Edward asked as I sat on the floor with Sofia.

"Not a thing," I laughed. "I think you deserve a day of rest."

He smiled, moving off of the couch to sit with us. Sofia crawled over to him and he pulled her into his lap. "Well, I think a day with you and Little One sounds pretty much perfect. Doesn't it, Sofia? I've missed you."

I watched, basically grinning as he kissed her cheek over and over while she giggled. It really was the sweetest thing to see. She had made him whole, I believed. He might have been happy before her, but I was positive that it was nothing compared to this. The same went for me. Every day I woke up, knowing I had an amazing man and daughter who loved me. The feeling was something I couldn't have understood just a few months ago, and I'd be forever thankful for it.

When Edward pulled the bag of soft blocks over, we arranged words and spoke them, trying to get her to repeat. She was more amused with picking them up and tossing them, though.

"Let's try momma," Edward said, spelling it out. "Can you say momma, Little One?"

She clapped her hands, giggling as she babbled nonsense. I now knew exactly how Edward had felt when he wanted her to say daddy. I wanted her to at least attempt it, but the most we had gotten was ma, and she had been babbling that for some time now. It was a little disappointing that she didn't say it, but I tried to shake it off, knowing it'd happen soon.

Once it was obvious that Sofia was bored with her toys, we sat back down on the couch and turned on an animated Christmas movie. Honestly, these were my favorite. I just . . . liked them, even if I wasn't a kid anymore, but at least now I had Sofia to share them with. She was clearly fascinated by the TV, pointing to it and giggling for no reason.

Edward, on the other hand, looked like he could kill himself.

I nudged his shoulder and smiled. "This is your life from now on, so get used to it," I teased.

"I have no interest in a talking snowman," he laughed. "The two of you seem to like it, though."

"Of course! It's the magic of it, you know? I love Christmastime. We need to put a tree up soon, too."

He nodded. "How about tomorrow? I'm sure Sofia will love the lights."

"I can just picture her face!" I laughed softly. "It'll be adorable!"

As the movie continued to play, Edward and I decided to go get a tree and some more Christmas ornaments. I had a few, but only enough for a small tree. While he went to shower, Sofia and I finished the movie. Well, I finished it. She started her afternoon nap early in my arms.

Once Edward was finished, he took her from me so I could get ready. By the time we were able to leave, Sofia's nap was over and she clapped when he told her we were going bye-bye. It was then she repeated her newest word.

"Bye!" she said as I secured her into the car seat. "Bye, bye, bye!"

I laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Yes, sweet girl, we're going bye-bye."

She couldn't get enough of her new word and went on and on as we got into the SUV and drove to one of the tree lots. I kept looking into the mirror, seeing her smiling face through the other mirror in the backseat. She played with one of her small stuffed animals, waving it around until she had accidentally thrown in. Then the crying started.

I knew full well that Edward would never let his daughter cry needlessly, so when he pulled into a gas station to get the small animal, I wasn't surprised in the least. I turned around, watching as he reached up under the back of my seat for the animal. Once she saw that Daddy had it in his hands, the cries eased.

"There you go, Little One," he said, kissing her forehead as she squeezed the stuffed animal to her chest.

"Dada," she said, all smiles once more.

After getting back in the car and driving to the tree lot, I put the carrier on my chest and Edward put her in it. Personally, I loved the carrier, but he refused to wear it, opting to hold her instead. Since it was cold, he made sure her hat, gloves, and boots weren't going anywhere before we started through the lot.

Our apartment wasn't that large, so we made sure to only look at smaller trees. It didn't take us long to pick one, thankfully. Edward was rushing, wanting to get Sofia out of the cold air as quickly as he could. While he and the attendant strapped our small tree to the top of the SUV, I got into the car with Sofia and gave her a little water.

"We're going to have such a pretty tree, sweetie," I said, helping her hold the bottle. I didn't give her much, so she was done quickly. "There will be lights and shiny decorations that I just know you'll love."

She released the nipple from her mouth, smacking her lips together. I put the lid back on the bottle and stuffed it in her diaper back before leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"Mommy loves you," I said. "And you know what would be great? Having you call me mommy, even just trying would be amazing."

"Eee naa," she babbled. "Bye!"

I laughed, giving her another kiss. "Just hearing your voice is enough for now, I suppose."

. . . . .

After going to a few stores, finding enough ornaments and decorations for the tree, we headed home. Sofia was clearly pooped from our afternoon out and fell asleep once more in the car. When we got home, I had to help Edward get the tree down from the car. It may not have been very big, but it gave him a hell of a lot of trouble.

I was just glad Sofia was still in the car when profanities poured from his lips. His gloves were covered in sap, and I couldn't help but laugh when he swiped his hand over his face without thinking.

"Son of a bitch," he said, holding the tree up with one hand. "Next year, we're getting one of those fake ones, just so you know."

I nodded, laughing a little. "Sure, Edward."

"You're laughing at me," he said, cocking his head and narrowing his eyes at me.

I lifted my hand, squeezing my index finger and thumb close together. "Just a little."

Without warning, he rubbed his hand on the side of my face, causing me to jump away and stumble onto my ass. "Rude!" I said, picking up a snowball as he laughed at me. I threw it, missing him completely as he doubled over. After dusting myself off and gathering another ball in my hand, I made sure to get close enough and hit him in the face with it. The look was priceless, and before he could retaliate, I opened the backdoor and lifted Sofia's car seat out.

"Using our daughter for protection is just wrong," he said, smirking. "I will get you back."

"Well, you started it," I laughed, putting the diaper bag over my shoulder. "I'll meet you upstairs."

I walked away, leaving him with the tree. Once I got Sofia inside and into her crib to finish her nap, Edward was just coming inside with the tree. I quickly stopped him, making him leave it in the hall until I could get the stand down. By the time we got the tree in and the ropes off, the floor was a mess and so were we. But, it did look so nice. It was only four feet, but very full. I couldn't wait to decorate it.

"Do we have to wait until tomorrow?" I asked as he put the rest of the bags on the counter. "It's just so bare."

He chuckled and closed the distance between us, wrapping his arms around me. "If you want to do it tonight, we can."

I lifted up on my toes, pressing my lips to his. "Thank you," I said. "I'm going to shower and then start dinner. Spaghetti okay?"

He nodded. "Sounds fucking amazing."

He pressed his lips to mine again, caressing that spot behind my ear. Once we parted, I hurried into the shower and then started dinner. Sofia had woken up by the time I started cooking, so Edward got her and fed her, keeping me company in the kitchen.

"You were so good today, Little One," he said, lifting the spoon to her lips. "You only fussed in the car, so thanks."

"Of course she doesn't fuss around people," I said. "She loves the attention they give her."

She really did, and people loved her. Whenever we all went out together, we were always told how cute she was and today was no different. One of the shop owners even gave her some ribbon to play with, which she adored.

"You're way too much like daddy, baby girl," he laughed. "I have a bad feeling about what that'll mean when you're older. I'm going to have to make Charlie teach me how to shoot a gun, aren't I? No boy would try anything then."

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "I think you have a few years before you need to worry about that."

He looked up at me and shrugged. "I know teenage boys, so I'm preparing early."

Once dinner was done, so was Sofia. Edward kept her in the high chair, pulling it over to the table as we ate. When we finished, I cleaned up the kitchen as he started getting things out of bags. Sofia, ever the explorer, wanted to play with everything.

By the time I got in there to help him, he had given up trying to keep her from things and she was playing with the garland on the floor. Decorating our first tree together was fun, especially with Sofia's help. It took longer than it should have, but she had a good time with all the shiny things. I made sure to take plenty of pictures of her and Edward together because they were just adorable. Well, it was adorable until she decided the balls should be thrown. Luckily, they didn't shatter.

"Ready to see the lights, Little One," Edward said as I held her.

I kissed her cheek and turned off the lamp as he turned the tree on. The colored lights looked beautiful, and Sofia was in awe of it. Her little hand was out, wanting to touch, even though we were far enough away from it.

"Mommy picked out nice things, didn't she?" Edward said, wrapping his arm around me and kissing my cheek. "Tell Mommy it's pretty."

"Momma," she said, looking at him.

My heart felt like it had grown at her word, even if she wasn't looking at me. She said it. My breath caught in my throat as tears began to form in my eyes. It was such a simple word, but it meant more to me than I ever could have explained.

Edward smiled, titling her chin up to me. "This is Momma," he said.

"Momma!" she giggled.

I nodded, trying not to cry. "Yes, sweet girl," I said. "I'm your momma, and I love you so much."

Her hand reached out, pressing against my cheek as Edward said it again. She repeated him each time he had said it, and I had to have been the happiest woman in the world at that moment.

My daughter called me momma.