Chapter 9

Caroline had not wanted to keep her son away from his daughter. That was the last thing in the world which she wanted to do. The two of them had been apart for so long already. But she did think that this was something which Hope should be supervising. So much water had gone under the bridge for all of them.

When Bo had come in that night, he had been the only thing on her mind. He had been gone for so long and he was her son… For just a moment, she had forgotten she had Ciara at the pub at all. She had just been so happy to have him there.

But when she had come to her senses… well, she had wanted to do things for the best.

Now, as that little voice called out to Bo, she knew she was not going to get a chance too.

Kimberly stepped forwards and put a hand on brother's arm as all three of them looked to the source of the noise. She was aware he had to take this slowly. But they were Brady's and they were passionate… and their hearts ruled their head.

"Little one…. Oh baby…"

Ciara looked as if she had no idea what she wanted to just then.

She had imagined this scene so many times, with her running into her daddy's arms and him being so happy to see her.

And he was. And she wanted too. But at the same time she felt as if she was just stuck where she was and as if her feet were too heavy to move.

And then there was a question in her head: why now? And then another: who cares?

Suddenly her feet were on longer routed to the ground. They weren't even on the ground and her daddy and picked her up. She remembered the way he smelt. The way he had been with her when she was a little girl.

But… She did not feel as if she was a little girl any more. After all she was going to be going middle school in the fall and she had gone away to camp.

But this was her daddy. And all she wanted to do was shut her eyes and turn back the clock.

But she couldn't.

Her father's voice seemed as if it was a very far away.

He was asking how she was doing but she could not answer.

It was all too much. It was all far too much. She struggled down and out of his arms.

For so long all she wanted was to see him and now he was here she just did not know what to do with that.

"Ciara, honey," another voice said and she knew that voice. That was a voice she knew very well. She turned and ran towards it.

"Mommy!"

X x x

"Its ok, I am here, I am right here with you," soothed Hope as her little girl run into her arms. She should have known this was a possibility. Sending her daughter to the Brady pub that day afterschool had not been her smartest idea.

She had simply been so set on avoiding Aidan when she was dealing with her feelings that she hadn't even considered Ciara bumping into her dad here. Which should have been at the very front of her mind.

Walking into the pub to see Ciara in her dad's arms had been a dream of hers before she had moved on to her new life. Before she had done one of the few things that had hurt her more than anything else she had ever had to do and divorce Bo.

Now… now this was not a dream. Too much time had passed for a happy reunion and that was written all over Ciara's face.

Her daughter had never been sheltered enough, she thought to herself. And she had found out what the real world was life far too soon. But she was just a child. And that was obvious just then. She had so many emotions coursing round her and she had no idea what to do with all these feelings. They were terrifying her.

And so for the first time, perhaps ever, she had frozen till her mother had got to her.

She was glad she could be her little girl's safety, even if she should not have to be.

Not from him.

"Hope, I am so sorry," Caroline said. "It just all happened so fast I did not get the chance too…."

"I know," she said as she held on to her daughter and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

As strange as it was, she felt so sorry for Bo as her eyes crossed to him… he just looked as if he was crushed.

He had been gone… and he had been gone for so long that she knew she had a god case for arguing he did not care about his daughter at all. But his expression in that moment said it wall.

That was not even nearly the case. He cared very much.

And the fact that their reunion had seemed to scare Ciara in to some sort of silence broke Bo's heart.

"Little one… I did not meant to go to too fast for you there. It is just daddy missed you so much." Bo said as Ciara peaked out from Hopes arm.

"Wanna go home," she said as she looked up at her mother. "I want to go home, mom!"

"Ok, ok honey we can go home." Eric passed her daughters school bag over the bar. "Thanks for watching her Caroline."

Her mother in law nodded but all of them were too saddened by how the situation had worked out for any words.

"I – Ciara, honey –" Bo tried to add.

Hope shook her head. "Not tonight Bo, ok? We can may be sort something out later in the week. But not now. Ciara, say good bye to your grandma."

The little girl did as she was told and was then swept out of the pub by her mother.

Bo thought back to the way he had felt that morning when he had seen Hope in the arms of another man. It had hurt, but it had been bearable.

He could almost understand her wanting to move on.

When he thought about it, he could understand the way his daughter had reacted too him as well. He got it. He had left her and then he had simply walked back into the pub and her life as if he had just gone to do a shift at work and then come back home again.

But that logic did nothing for the ache in his heart and his soul. He was meant to be the one who kept Ciara Alice Brady safe, he was meant to be her protector.

The fact he had done this too her… that, he was never ever going to be able to forgive himself for.

"She is going to come round, baby brother, you'll see," said Kimberly as she put her arms about him.

But just then, it seemed to him as if his sisters words were not worth a damn thing…

Not when his baby girl was so mad…. And afraid.

X x x

"You let me grieve. For three years. Any one of those roughly thousand days you could have rang me and told me my brother was alive. But you didn't!"

Adrienne did not know what she was more upset about. The lie, the fact she was furious with Steve or the fact she had just got him back, and now she had to be angry with him.

"I know it was a lousy thing to do baby, but we were on a mission and – it was no good, you know how often we were allowed to be in contact with all of you."

"No. I do not know how often you were able to phone me – only that you didn't!" she said as she put her head in her hands.

God knows she loved Steve and Jack but – but sometimes she wished they were simpler men.

The two of them could not do anything right. Not even dying.

"Did you know when we were scattering his ashes that they – well, weren't his ashes?" she asked.

Because if he had stood there with her and held her while she had cried for their brother she really did not think she was going to be able to see past that.

Thankfully for Steve, he shook his head.

"It was after that – a few months. I was on a case on my own for a bit and then I got pulled on to the DiMera one with Shane." He could recall how angry he had been when he had got back from Africa – where he had just broken up his home – only to be told by his former brother in law that things were not quite as ready to go with the get DiMera plan as he had hoped. "He told me there were reasons why I had to be on it, not that I needed a lot of convincing. It was a few weeks after that we went in on a raid and found Jack."

"And you never thought to tell me? To ring Jen and the kids and tell them their husband and daddy was ok?"

"I thought about doing it about a million times a day, baby. But I couldn't." his voice was so much quieter than hers right then that she could only assume the tone was sincerity.

She shook her head. "I am never going to understand why you couldn't tell me."

"I know… but we had to protect you. And Jack being dead – well, it gave him a kind of anonymity."

"I'll say," she bite. "When am I going to get to see him?" That was what she wanted to focus on now.

The good that was going to come out of this mess.

"Soon. I promise, soon. He is on his way home, him and Shane. I do not know if they are already on their way but if they are no then it won't be long."

That was a small comfort. A very small comfort.

"I – I get why you waited today to tell me. I know you have to focus on the kids and on Kayla at the moment…. But you are my brother and I hate that you kept this from me. I hate it, Steve!"

He nodded. He knew that, he heard it in her voice. He only hoped she did not hate him.

"I want to be on my own for a bit."

That he could respect. "Ok, well I have to go say night to Kayla so I will see you in a little bit." He said as he picked up the jacket he had discarded earlier on in the day. "But I want you to listen to one more thing Adrienne. I did what I did because I love you. I love you and I love Jack. And I know it may not seem like it right now, but I was just trying to protect you. To keep you all safe." That was all he had ever wanted to do.

The looked which she threw at him to begin with said that excuse was cutting absolutely no slack for him with her – but before he had so much as left the room it softened.

Because if nothing else that did ring true to Steve's past behaviour. He had always been a protector. The majority of the time he had been her protector specifically. And if he had thought there was a real danger to any of them knowing then of course he was going to keep it to himself.

When he had to be, he was good with secrets.

But that did not take away from the fact she had spent years and years missing her brother and grieving for him.

Steve could have stopped that and he didn't. And she just was not sure if she could forgive him for that.

X x x

Joey and Stephanie took the news about Jack much better than their aunt did. He had never really been a part of their lives and it was not as if this was the first time this had happened in their family…

Once he had given the two of them a kiss on the top of their heads and said goodnight, he made his way back to the hospital.

He had barely been back twenty four hours, and this was his third trip…

But then he had never been able to stay away from his sweetness. Not for long… until the last three years.

When he got back to her, he saw Kayla was dozing. She had had a busy day no doubt between him and the kids and her others visitors.

But a smile crossed her face when she saw him.

He could not be a little sorry to have disturbed her as she rubbed her eyes and sat up. She needed her rest.

'You must be getting sick of me.' He signed.

'Not yet.'

He gave a small smile.

'I hope we did not tire you out.'

Kayla grinned. 'A little bit, but it was worth it. Have you had any rest since you got back?"

Steve laughed. 'Don't you worry about me. I am all good.'

She nodded and thought so was she now he was here. Seeing he had left a hand on the bed when he had sat down she reached out and took it in to her own.

She was not sure what it was between the two of them. She had never quite understood it. She had named it 'love' a million times, but it could also be called trust or security.

All she knew was he made her… whole in ways no one else did.

Squeezing the hand which was now in his own, Steve placed a kiss against the back of hers. She did not think he was any ones idea of a convention prince charming…

But he was hers.

'You need to rest,' she signed again.

'I am all good, sweetness. But I do need to ask you a question…'

She nodded for him to do so.

He was done with the family reunions for that day. As nice as it had been to be with everyone, he had business here as well.

And seeing the mother of his kids lying on a hospital bed battered and bruised reminded him of that.

'Can you tell me how this happened?'

Kayla looked panicked for a moment and so he gently traced her knuckles with his thumb in a manner which he could only was reassuring.

She took a moment to consider before shaking her head. 'Not tonight.'

He nodded. He knew he had to accept that. A lot had gone on with her that day and if she was not strong enough to get into it right then he was not going to make her. He had no right.

He reassured himself that they were going to get to the bottom off this. And he was going to get his hands on the scum who had put Kayla here. She may have been the one who was driving the car but he knew there was something much bigger at play.

'Ok, sweetness. That's fine. You take it easy…. Take your time.'

He wished he had not mentioned it at all when he noted how stressed she was by it all.

Reaching up, he stroked her hair. It was an old habit, one he had developed as a way of comforting her when the two of them had been so much younger.

It was beginning to feel too easy to fall into all their old ways….

'Sweetness, is this ok with you?' he signed.

She nodded. This was exactly what she wanted. This was all she had wanted ever since she had left Africa. The two of them being them.

'Will you stay?'

He nodded. He was going to stay for as long as she would have him. For as long as the kids needed him.

He only hope that the answer to both of those was forever.

X x x

"I am going to catch an early night, bro," said Stephanie as she popped her head round her brother's door.

Joey paused the video game he had been playing as she came in and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Sounds as if that is a good idea." He nodded. He had been thinking along the same lines if he was honest.

"It has been – quite the day."

"I am so glad pop is home," Joey admitted, not that he had too.

Steph nodded. She had known that from the way that he had greeted their father home.

"So am I. We all need him right now and – and I missed him."

"Do you think he is going to stay around?" Joey asked.

"Well – I do not think we have to worry about him going anywhere as long as mom is the way she is."

There was a pause between them for just a moment….

"You don't think they –"

"He has been home a day baby brother. None of us should run before we can walk."

Joey nodded. He knew that. Deep down, he did.

"It just - it kinda seems like one of those days when anything is possible."

Stephanie nodded. She got that. "I can't believe that Uncle Jack is alive…. Only I can totally believe it because we Johnsons do not seem to be very good at staying dead even when we do die."

The two of them laughed even though it was no laughing matter. For years and years when she had been a little girl she had thought she was never ever going to get a chance to know her dad.

And if that had stayed the case then she never would have got her baby brother either.

All of them would have missed out on so much.

"I do not think JJ is going to take the news very well," Joey pointed out.

He was close to his big cousin…. JJ had been his big brother while Stephanie had been gone, the elder sibling who did look out for him. It was as if he had appointed himself his guardian and he was not sure why, not that Joey had thought that deeply about it. They were cousins… but he had never really explained…. he knew there was a reason his cousin seemed to hate his dad, a reason Joey had never been told.

"We can cross that bridge when Uncle Jack makes it home," Stephanie shrugged.

There was nothing either of them could do about it that night. In fact the only thing which they could do that evening was catch a good night sleep.

If their mom was with them right then she would tell them not to borrow trouble before they found it.

And so she wouldn't.

"Night, baby bro," Stephanie said as she kissed her brothers forehead. As she reached out to mush up his hair as an affectionate parting, Joey moved out of her reach with a scowl.

Laughing, the young women left the room. Maybe things were a way from normal still… but the universe was getting back on an equal footing somehow.

Either that, or there was a new normal for the Johnson family.

One they had not quite worked out yet.

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