Outside there was Goro and Mitsuni. After a hot steamy where the two lovers ran two hundred yards to stay in shape ( All Mitsuni's idea) Goro couldn't keep his hands off Mitsuni's sweaty body. He had her pinned against the wall licking her arms. Mitsuni was a dirty girl. She had to pee. Thinking about how sweaty she was, how wet Goro's tongue was when he licked, her whole body was hot. Goro pulled out his belt ready to pull down his pants.

" That's right. Love me! Love me! LOVE ME!"

Goro pulled his zipper down when the door to the Hinata House opened. Who was there watching Goro and Mitsuni? It was Ian. Ian stared at his aunt, his first friend, and his friend holding a belt and Goro's left hand fondling his aunts' breasts.

" Goro…?"

" Umm…rape."

" Aunt Mitsuni, I think you should come inside." Mitsuni had her hands on her blouse. Mitsuni didn't have a shroud of shame in her. Goro tried walking into the house, but he was stopped by Ian raising a hand in the doorway. " Goro, what was that all about?"

" What?"

" Are you and Aunt Mitsuni, you know, dating? It's not that it matters to me whether you are or not, no. It's just I want to know if my aunt was the first to deflower you. What are your attentions with her?"

" Well, in the morning we have sex. In the afternoon we have sex. We have sex at night. We have sex before going to bed. Sometimes when she can't sleep, like when she's drunk, she would ask me to have sex with her—our fundamental relationship is just sex."

" A little too much information. Of course I'm not surprised Aunt Mitsune would do something like this to my friend. She is a flake who suggested I shave my pubes and grow a mustache on my tenth birthday—are you two dating?"

" I think we are. I don't know about her, I think she sees me as nothing more than some kind of vibrator."

" Sounds like my relationship with Foxy."

" I try to be romantic for her. I really do. I've been trying to make her not see me as some immature plaything."

" Hard not to see you mature when you try having dry sex after pushing a door bell."

" One time I thought we we'd go to the theater's. I got the tickets and she showed up—and we ended up missing the show because she wouldn't go anywhere unless we have sex. Going somewhere didn't work so I tried having a romantic dinner at home. I got scented towels, roses; I even hired a caterer to make American gourmet smoked salmon, caviar, and focaccia bread. She was three seconds—three seconds through the door—she jumped on me demanding we have sex. By the time we stopped the food was cold, the candles were short, and I was so tired from all that sex I couldn't even lift a wine glass. "

" Poor Goro. I would feel sorry for him if he wasn't living every guy's his age fantasy."

" I decided taking her places and eating fancy with her wasn't the way to connect. So I waited until she was asleep and I tied her to the bed. She begged me to let her go but I didn't because I knew she was just going to take control and do rough sex with me. I tried kissing her. Whenever we're having sex she never lets me kiss her. If our lips entwined maybe it would cause some kind of spark—you know, like in those sappy love movies. Unfortunately, she laughed at me. She said my nose hair was funny. It hurt to hear her say that. She was so insensitive. By the time I recovered from her laugh she got free—hands out, hands pushing on my chest—and we just had sex. She totally took control."

" Well, I'm sure that's just Mutsuni's way of showing her love. Mom said she was the trickster of the inn back when she was a resident. And my mom knew Mutsuni when they were still in school. But she has a soft side—at least she's a good singer. What do you even think about her anyways?"

" She is a pig."

" A pig?"

" A pig. Also, " I've been meaning to ask you, Ian. There's this…thing in my…my…." Goro was suddenly so shy. His cheeks were red. Ian was staring at Goro's hands. They were shaking.

" Goro, I would like to help you but I'm afraid I can't do that if you can't be honest with me."

" Okay, you know how I've been having lots of—oh god, it's too embarrassing to say!"

" How can it be embarrassing? You've told me how you've done it at least over five times."

" It's on my special area. It's this…I can't say. It's just it isn't as…fresh if you know what I mean, and I'm just afraid—"

" Let me have a look at it."

" What?"

" Don't be a baby. Pull down your pants and let me what the problem is."

" Really? I don't know."

" Come on. We're both grown men here. Remember that sleepover we had six years ago."

" Yeah. Your mother didn't have a futon for me to sleep on. We ended up sharing your bed—and of course we had to sleep together, and since I forgot my pyjamas you thought it would be better if you slept naked trying to help me feel less uncomfortable."

" Yes, my mother thought I was gay. It took lots of convincing to prove to her I wasn't gay—but I only proved by watching that slideshow she made for me. Embarrassing Moments of My Past over, let me see it!"

" I don't know. Mine isn't really that big. Promise me you won't laugh at me."

Ian pulled his belt out. Ian pulled his hands down. Goro covered his eyes trying not to see the bush he believed was in Ian's pants. The only thing Goro saw was a small lump under his white underwear. " Look at this. It might not be the biggest bug it gets the job done. Look at it. Look at it! LOOK AT I—"

" Ian."

Ian and Goro nearly fell over when they heard Daisuke's voice. Daisuke was standing right behind him. He was looking at Ian, pants down, revealing all his shame to him. Daisuke surprisingly had a straight face on when he looked at Ian's underwear. Daisuke raised his small black book up, scribbling on it with a quill.

" Ian, a man will show up tomorrow. He will be working on the gauge on our onsen. Also, a man from Italy will also be joining us for dinner. It's impeccable that you give him the Hinata Household's hospitality. Everything must forgo to my plan. Aunt Haruka will be showing up today. She passed her seniority over to me, so I expect you give me the utmost respect. And Ian, tell Ichigo to keep Kaeda in her room. If she sees Motoko when she arrives they'll kill each other."

" Yes…Daisuke."

" And make no mistakes! Nothing in the walls of the Hinata House are left unchecked. Nothing can measure to my acuity. I'll expect you in the house by eighteen hundred hours."

" What?"

" He means Six O' clock."

" Ah. Doing Math in your head. That's a bitch."

Daisuke walked towards the guest room. Ian and Goro were still staring at him. The way he walked, the way his feet were raised up and moved like a rickety old wind-up doll, in Ian and Goro's mind there was no way he could be human.

" Was he always like that, Ian?"

" His mother didn't know better back then. She smoked when she was pregnant with him."

" Oh my god."

" At least he didn't grow up to be a crack head. Now that I've shown you my lower-horn let me see yours." Goro was still embarrassed at the sight of showing Ian his special area. Goro could feel Ian's nose breathing on his underwear. Goro pulled his underwear down. Ian had a whole view of what was underneath. It only took Ian one look for him to diagnose the infection. " That's syphilis, dude."

" Mamma-Mia."