Chapter 14

When Jack thought back to the night before, all he could remember was how much he had wanted this moment to arrive. He had longed for it, it had been his every dream. Now it felt as if it had come too soon. He just wasn't ready. He was in a pair of jeans and a jumper, but it was the wrong jumper and the jeans were the wrong colour.

Jen was going to think he was a mess. He was a mess.

And he wanted to ask his brother and his sister to buy him some time but by the sounds of it his wife and his daughter were already coming in to the room and if they did not love him and could not forgive him this time then he swore to god he was going to understand….

But he hoped if that was the case, then they just would not have come at all for he did not think he could with stand actually being rejected by them all over again.

His mind was racing and racing and going faster and faster and so was his heart he did not know how it was ever going to stop until at last it did.

All he had to do to stop it as it turned out was look at Jennifer Rose Horton.

His Miss Horton.

There she was. Another three years of separation had passed them by since they had last been together and yet she so looked like his Jen still. She was in a pretty pale pink dress and her hair was let down loose…

And she was Jen. His beautiful, funny Jen.

And she was not alone.

Whereas Jen seemed to stand still in time, Abby had no desire too. She rushed forward to him. To him.

His daughter was running to him.

"Daddy!"

That word from her mouth… it never failed to make his heart stop. He could still remember the first time he had heard it and he wished he could remember every single time.

But perhaps the other times did not matter so much.

Maybe it was only this time that mattered right then.

She wrapped her arms about him. She held him tight and he put his arms about her and he wondered how any of them could have ever stayed away for so long.

Maybe it was the Johnson DNA… or maybe it was just something about being a man in Salem which made men so very stupid. But he did not know how many of them missed so much time with their wives and their daughters and their sons.

No more. That was all he could promise. He was not going to miss any more.

"Oh baby…. I am so sorry, I did not mean - I did not meant to leave you – not again."

That at least was truthful.

When he had gone in to the elevator he had not meant to leave Jennifer or Abigail. He had just wanted to save his daughter and he had achieved that end.

He had done that.

What had followed after had not been his fault. The shaft had fallen and he had been knocked out and hurt pretty bad. It was weeks later that he came too and found out he had fallen into the hands of the ISA.

After further weeks of recovery he had been given a choice to either go home or go a mission to get DiMera. He had been on the verge of going back to his girls when he had reunited with his brother, really reunited. He had been unable to remember the last time he had seen Steve – so Steve. He had been so motivated and driven and it seemed like a good idea for the two of them to go on this great adventure together. The way people talked it felt as if they were not going to be gone for very long - and then they would return.

So had he chosen to stay away? He guessed so. But there was no active moment that he remembered choosing to not go home to his family. It was more just a case that he had got swept along in the tide.

He should have dug hid feet harder into the sand to stay put perhaps.

But it was too late for all that.

His heart broke a little further as he mentally came back into the Kiriakis living room and he knew his shirt was already wet from his daughter's tears.

"No, daddy – you are not the one who has to be sorry, I am. I am so sorry I went into that elevator, ever since that day – I have never ever forgiven myself, dad, I am so sorry," she said as she clung on to him.

When she had thought he was gone for ever because of her…

That he was never going to get to see the three of them again because of something she had done….That had broken her heart and she had been sure a little bit of her own soul had died with her dad.

But here he was – and that piece of her came back to life as he had done.

"Baby, np – none of that was your fault, not the explosion, not me – going away, not any of it. I choose to follow to because I could never have lived with myself if –"well he could not even say it. It was the unthinkable.

He continued to hold her for a while, yet as Abby's cries softened he felt his attention pass from his little girl to her mother.

Jen too had tears rolling down her face.

Her beautiful face.

Turning back to Abby for just a moment, he kissed her forehead before he nodded to Adrienne. His sister took his meaning and stepped forward to look after her niece while Jack turned to Jennifer.

When she had come into the room she had been so still it was almost unnatural for her.

When they had been young she had been like him. She had been a constant whirl of activity. That was why he had fallen so deeply in love with his Miss Horton. It was as he was remembering that, that she copied the actions of her daughter not so long before and ran in to his arms.

Instead of burying her head in his shoulders though, she pushed her lips very firmly to his.

It had been as if the time he had been with Abby, their daughter's mother had been thinking – but the truth was that wasn't it at all. She had just been taking the moment in.

She had done all her thinking long ago. She no longer cared to think about how many times she had believed Jack to be dead – how many times she had thought herself a widow. The only answer to that was too many. But it had given her hope – and it had allowed her to make a promise to herself. That if he was going returned and that if he came back… this time she was not going to question it.

She was just going to take the lemon life gave her… and make lemonade.

This was the last thing Jack had expected. He had been ready to try and defend himself for he knew – or at least – he had thought he was going to have to work harder than ever before to convince her he truly did love her….

Only she seemed to already know, thank god.

He pulled her closer, setting his hand on her lower back for just a moment. He felt her lips curve, smiling at the taste of his kiss knowing she was as wanted as she was wanting at that moment. Jack wished a wish it could go on forever. But he knew it couldn't…

As he knew drew back he knew there had to be about a million questions in both of their eyes, but before he could ask single one of them, she had put his fingers to his lips and shook her head gently.

"We have wasted too much time we are not going to get back already. I know the drill here and I don't care where you've been…. this isn't like last time. Just… just tell me your home for good."

He had said that to her before and it had ended up not being the truth. He knew that she was trying to fool herself that his word was enough even then.

But if he could take the basis she was trying to give him then, pick it up and run with it, and back it up with actions, maybe they did have a starting point after all…

He nodded. Truly… he had no intention of leaving her – not ever again.

Once again, he kissed her deeply, breaking apart only when they both needed air. He came away laughing as he held her tight, wondering if his heart could possibly be fuller, when he realised the answer to that was… yes. It could.

"Where's JJ? Where's my son?"

Abby wished she had not looked at her mom in that moment, begging her to be the one to answer. She just wasn't sure what to say to that.

But she gave the game away, that was for sure.

"Is something wrong with him?"

"No!" Jen hushed her husband as she held on to him. "He – he just has a lot going on right now. He would have been here if he could but you will see him soon."

Gotta be a pretty big deal to stop him coming to see his daddy coming back from the dead, thought Steve. He had known something was up with his nephew

As Abigail stepped forward to help her mom convince her dad there was nothing all that wrong with her brother, Steve realised the three of them at least were going to be fine. They were united as a family and they certainly did not need him hanging around.

He could go back and focus on his own family.

With drawing from the room, he had been about to go and get Joey and Stephanie's packed bags to put in the car when a voice stopped him.

He turned back to see his sister was there and she had a look on contentment on her face.

"Seeing that – it was quite something…." She started.

"Yeah… yes it was, baby. Adrienne, listen –"

"No, for once in your life you are going to be the one who listens." She cut him off. "I had every right to be angry with you…. And I still wish you would have told me sooner… but what's done is done. And the two of you are home. That's what matters to me."

Having her two brothers back was all she had ever wanted. And now she had them she was not going to let anything spoil that.

"Jennifer is right, you know? Over the years, you, Jack and I have lost so much time together too. I don't want to waste want more being angry over something I cannot change," she finished as she stepped closer to him. Assigning blame was not going to change the past.

She needed her brother more than ever – or at least she knew she was going to in the coming days.

Steve took the hint as a smile appeared on his face and he wrapped his arms about her.

"Love you."

"I love you, too, Steve," She said as she settled in his arms. "Besides, I should be used to this by now right. It's a Monday, right? Why the hell shouldn't one of my dead brothers be alive after all?"

X x x

Stephanie dropped in to the living room to see her uncle later that morning. Where the two of them had never been that close she had been anxious to not take away from his reunion to those who mattered most to him, but the two of them reunited warmly and had a quick chat.

"I was just going to put a pop of coffee on if anyone wants one."

Her aunt had told her a million times that week that if she just asked Henderson then he was going to bring the coffee to her but she felt weird about it.

She was not an invalid and she could go get her own coffee. Her aunt had grumbled when she had explained the way she had felt and said something about 'Johnson pride' but that had been that.

"You know what," Abby said as she stood up. "I will help you."

She could do with a moment to compose herself after the morning she had had.

Turning back, she kissed both of her parents on the forehead in turn.

"Don't go away," she said with half a smile at her dad.

"I am not going anywhere, for a long time to come, you can count on that."

Abby left the room and for the first time in a long time Jack found himself alone with Jennifer.

The laughter that filled the room as they looked at one another over rode the silence and Jen knew no matter what else was to come, she would always think of her Jack as a blessing to her.

"I can't believe your really here. God I can't believe you're real."

How did he keep doing it? How did he keep finding a way back to her when all paths back should be closed?

"I can't believe you're in my arms," he said as he held on to her, kissing her cheek. "I can't believe that I am lucky enough to get to hold you like this. I can't believe – oh Jen, I can't wait for tonight. I can't wait for you to take me home."

The way the two of them were together he did not think there could be any other end to this day but with them going to bed together. In their bed.

What a pleasure it was going to be to sleep next to his wife, to hear her breathing by his side as they slept.

If they slept at all. He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, show her how much he loved her…

But that was when she tensed up.

"Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head. He hadn't. He had not said anything which she did not want to hear. But she was a mom. And as much as she wanted to relish being with Jack again in every which way that she could…

"Jack, you are going to have to give JJ a little time to get used to the idea that you're well… here."

It was the second time his sons name had been brought up – Jennifer could insist things were ok – but he knew they weren't.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Jennifer."

"JJ loves you. So much, ok?" she said as she caressed his cheek, looking into his face. She did not want to do this to him. But deep down she knew she had to level with him if he was ever going to get to begin to understand.

So they could start rebuilding properly.

"A couple of years ago, JJ came back from England. It was about a year after we thought you had –"

"Died," he provided.

She nodded. "H – he was not in a very good head space, you have to understand and he missed you so much. I wasn't being the mom he needed."

Jack rubbed her shoulder. "I am sure that isn't true."

"It is true." Jen nodded. It was kind of him to say that but as she looked back on the past she knew the truth of their situation and this was it.

"Daniel and I were trying to make a go of things when he came back –"

"Daniel." Jack sighed. Well, he should have known his death was not going to stop the doctor from trying to take his place…. Or wins Jens heart. He was not sure he could even blame him for that.

Nothing would have stopped him trying to win Jens heart.

"Nothing is going on now. It is a long time over," she explained. "But at the time it wasn't and JJ was desperate to defend your memory and your book was coming out and – and there was a lot of mixed emotions going on about that time.

"Anyway, what I am trying to say is JJ thought about you a lot and – and your past."

She felt her husband tense at the words she was saying. He knew what she was saying.

There was silence between them for just a moment as he digested the news.

"Did he find – does he know…. About Kayla and I?"

Jen looked as if her heart was breaking as she nodded.

Nothing had made sense to Jack that morning over why his son would not come to him. Now it all made sense.

"He – he did not find out as gently as Abby did. I was too busy trying to stop him from finding out to sit down and tell him. There was other stuff going on at the time too, we weren't getting on."

"So how did he find out?" Jack asked with a voice devoid of emotion.

"He read the transcript from Lawrence's trial."

Jack smiled bitterly. So he had been the one to tell his son his own darkest secret.

He himself. Billy Jack.

God, he made himself sick…

"Well - this is no less than I deserve. I was – I was so arrogant and I don't know what I was thinking back then…"

And now he had to face the consequences. Years after the event he had to face the real consequences of what he had done. At the time he had thought him going on trial for rape was the worst thing that could possibly happen to him. But now he knew better.

Knowing his children knew what a monster he had been. That was his just desserts.

"You were a completely different man back then, I told JJ that."

"No, I wasn't. I am the same man, living in the same body now –" he said as she shook his head.

Over the years she had been so swift to say words of comfort to reassure him he was not the same man who had raped Kayla. He couldn't hear that then though.

Now he was not the important one. Then important one was JJ – and how he dealt with this.

"Do you know the worst thing?"

She shook her head. She did not know what could be worse for him right now.

"It is the fact I know just how he feels. I loved Harper so much when I was a boy. I wanted to be just like him, a real Deveraux man. He was my hero…. And then I learnt the truth."

It all rung to true to what she had just told him.

Jack felt his heart shatter. At the end of the day, he was still the same man he had always been.

And he was truly his father's son after all.

Please review!