Chapter 18
It was going to very much be a day of two halves, thought Steve as he looked at his own small packed bag which sat by the door.
By the end of the day the most lovely women in the world was going to be, at last, home in her own apartment and on the other hand, he would not He would be across the hall in a different apartment, with his brother.
Still Steve knew that day was going to go down as a win for the Johnsons.
Picking his bag up, he took a look around. Steph had gone ahead of him to get her mama ready and with great reluctance Joey had gone to school. It was just him and he was glad of it, for he would hate for them to see how down he was at the thought of leaving. He had not been here long… but he did not want to go.
This place could- could have been home.
Still he had leave. And there was nothing else to it.
He shut the door behind him and made his way across the hall. He had decided to drop his bag off before going to the hospital. It was better he was sure just to get it done. Then he did not have to do it when Kayla was there…
Though he was going to be living there soon he knocked, mindful his brother (and truly himself too) were both still settling back into civvy street. Any surprising him, such as just wondering in, might be a little much for Jack.
It took Jack a moment to get to the doctor and Steve wondered if he was sleeping in but his brother had always been an early riser as long as he had known him.
He came to the door at last and it was clear he was up and ready and ready for the day – but it was also obvious he had not slept much.
"Morning."
"Morning yourself. You ok?"
"I am," he said in a way that implied there was someone who very much was not ok. "I know you have to get off to the hospital but can you come in for a minute."
He nodded and did so.
As soon as he was in the living room, he saw why he had been asked to go in. There on the couch sat his sister, looking as if the world had ended.
"Oh baby," he sighed as he moved to her side where he took her in his arms. Somehow Steve did not need to be told what had gone on. There was only one person who could upset her like this.
And he was ready to kill him.
X x x
"You were up with the birds today," said Caroline from behind the bar at the Brady pub, as she saw her son walk in.
It was true Bo had made an early start.
After his chat with Steve, he had decided his friend was right. He had to start trying to make progress. And he had to do it with or without his wife and daughter… and so he had decided it was high time he really begun to make good on his promise to the rest of the family .
And as far as he was concerned, given all she had been through, Kay was a great place to start, and so he had gone out that day with the purpose not to return till he could help her.
And he had not.
"I was. I had to go get myself registered for a session of sign language course."
He watched as his mom's eyes softened.
"Your sister is going to be so grateful."
Bo nodded but inwardly though she should not have to be.
It was all on them now to be there for her and there was nothing in the world which could make him feel different to that.
In truth he was still a little angry that Hope, himself and Shawn Douglas had not come back from their trip when Kayla had lost her hearing before. In fact, he was more than a little angry with the way the whole family had dealt with the situation.
Kayla had not had the support from the family which she should have. They should all be able to talk to her now but only Steve and Kimberly had stepped up to the plate last time.
The way he had heard it his Ma and Pa had not even tried to learn to sign. If it was Shawn Douglas or Ciara in that situation then he knew himself and Hope could not stand not being able to communicate with their children… and as a result they would do whatever they had to in order to do so. He just did not get why they had not been the case for his folks.
But at the end of the day, he was aware that no good could come from dragging all of that up. They had to move forward.
"I hope so."
But he did not want her gratitude.
A single true smile would be enough.
X x x
"My mom is coming home today," Joey told Ciara as he caught up with her at break time.
"That is really good news!" Ciara's smile was genuine. So much of what had gone on of late for the Brady family had resulted in bad news or at the very least…. News that made her feel confused and conflicted. At a time like this, the family should be pulling together and she had just been feeling… disconnected.
"Yeah it is," Joey beamed… but there was something which he was holding back. And Ciara knew it. Only she and JJ would pick up on it, knowing him as well as they did.
"So what is still wrong?" she had thought with her Aunt Kayla going home everything would be looking good for Joey. She waited for a while as he found the right way to say what he wanted, knowing this was not going to be easy for him. Her cousin was already a man of few words.
"Nothing – not really. It is just my dad is going to go move in with my Uncle Jack."
An uncle who was not even welcome in his own home.
"Well, what is so bad about that?" it was not as if he had had time to get used to him being about. It was the look on his face which told her she was being far too callous. That Joey had got used to his dad being about.
"Sorry – are you going to miss him?"
Joey shrugged but his answer was already a given. Steve had been there when he got up and when he went to bed every night since he had got back. If he had had any worries, then he had known his father was going to try and help soothe them. He'd miss him.
Joey knew he might be being slightly dramatic. His dad wasn't even leaving the building, just going across the hall. But still…
"I guess so. What about Uncle Bo?"
Ciara had seen him again since the first time in the pub but there had been no real progress to speak of. And now she felt a little jealous. Because if the truth was known she did want to spend a little time with him. It felt a little disloyal it admit, but she and her mother had spent a little time away from Aiden and Chase and it was making things easier and harder all at once. It was Ciara's turn to shrug.
Joey smiled slightly sadly. They had been through so much together – at the same time. The same heart ache. It had left them with a bond they did not share with anyone else, not even their own siblings.
They could go through this together too, he thought.
"Just give him chance Ciara. He might surprise you."
Ciara nodded. The only problem was that he might surprise her either… he might not surprise her at all….
X x x
"I am sorry it took me a while to get here," said Steve as he finally got to Kayla and Stephanie.
He had said he was going to pick them up at about eleven but now it was much nearer half part.
Jack and Adrienne had not wanted to keep him from them, but once they had got talking that had proved tricky because he never wanted to leave his kid sister when she was hurt but that was what he had had to do.
Damn Kiriakis to hell.
"Are you ok?" Stephanie asked. She had been getting aggravated with her dad for being late if the truth was known, but that faded away as she saw how stressed he was. Steve had never been good at hiding his agitation. And there was clearly a reason, not an excuse, behind him being late to get to them.
'It doesn't matter,' Kayla signed back in agreement with her daughter as she got off of the bed when she had been sitting on. She had picked up on it too. 'What is bothering you?'
"Bothering me baby?" Steve signed and spoke. He shook his head. "What could bother me today? You're coming home, sweetness! You ready to get out of here?"
Kayla nodded as carefully stood up, watching as Steve picked up her bag. She wished he wouldn't do that – pretend when they could all see he was lying. But she would get it out of him.
Steph came to her side and the two of them held hands. Whatever was going on with her dad, it'd be ok…
Kayla was glad the two of them had had a little time alone that morning – it had been girls together. And she had needed that after what had been a relatively sleepless night.
For the first time since the accident it had seemed to her they were finding a way forward. That she was meant to find a way forward. And that meant surgery and procedures but it also meant going home and she wanted all of those things, as she knew they were going to give her life back to her…
But it had been in the middle of the night before that she had been able to label part of what she had felt as 'fear'.
Her life was going to be so different on so many different levels when she went home. And there was nothing she could do but face it.
The one saving grace was she knew she had a great circle of friends and family about her to help her deal with the transition… the kids were learning to sign and Kimberly was home and looked set to be going nowhere.
Which was all great.
But she was going to have to live in her apartment and she was going to have to do it in silence. There had been moments in hospital when it hadn't been so bad. When she had not had to listen to the endless beeping or hear her family members cry.
But when she got home she was not going to be able to hear the kettle boiling, or dance around the kitchen to music or even know when doors were opening and shutting.
She was scared.
And she was vulnerable.
But she knew she could do this. She had done it before and she was going to do it again.
She could, however, not do it alone.
She looked at Steve and his false smile and wished thongs were very different to the way they were.
The drive home took no more than twenty minutes door to door and stepping in through to the apartment felt wonderful.
It had been way too long.
Her sigh of relief was audible.
"Mama," Stephanie's sighed as she spoke. "I am going to get you some tea, do you want anything else?"
Kayla shook her head as she thanked her daughter and then sat down on the couch. She did not know what she would have done without her girl just then. She really didn't.
She was so glad she had her.
She turned to see her daughter's father. He had thought she was distracted and once more his expression had clouded over. It kept doing that. He would try to hide his troubles from her but somehow he was not very good at that, something for which she was grateful for.
At the turn of the tide, when she had need him most he had found a way back to her. And though she knew she was going to keep to her promise to herself she had made at the hospital – to not depend on him – she hoped that was not going to go two ways.
She wanted him to confide in her. After all there had been a time when his troubles had been hers and vice versa. And for all the troubles… they were good times.
He may have been late to pick her up but he had come. And it was as she remembered that that another memory came to her mind unbidden… the one of him holding her all night at the hospital.
But then he saw she was looking at him. And smile crept on to his face and she knew for then he was shut off, at least for then.
But she knew him. And whatever it was – she'd find out, whether she could hear it or not.
'Sweetness, can I talk to you about what we talked to about Jonas?' he signed to her as he sat on the coffee table in front of her to make sure she could easily see his lips as well as his hands.
She nodded.
'I want to take a bit of time to consider what he said.' She admitted.
She was not afraid she was not going to get her hearing back. She had done it before and she was going to do it again. That was becoming a little bit of a mantra for her.
She had got through this before – she had got through all of it before. And she could do so again.
"Yeah. And how about we explore some other options to? I mean – just if you want too."
She took his hands in hers for a moment. He was being sweet that day. She could see much of the young Steve in him, the nervous energy right then that it broke her heart.
'I asked you to come to the appointment. I want your input on this."
'So you are not going to be mad if I tell you I have already rang another doctor."
'Depends who it is, I guess.' Kayla replied with a curious look in her eye.
"Doctor Homey.' He grinned boyishly.
Marcus Hunter was coming back to town.
She felt a smile spread across her face.
'Marcus?'
He nodded.
Now that was the best news she had had in a while. Marcus had been there best friend when they were young and he had been there for her without question before when she had been without her hearing before.
He had helped get her better.
'When is he going to get here?" she could not wait to see him.
'Fly's in tomorrow.'
If the two of them had not been in such a weird place then she would have thrown her arms about him then there. But they were.
And so she just smiled.
But that smile settled a contentment with in him. No matter how bad things had got when he had first got back… she was ok now. Or at least she was going to be.
That was everything to him - just everything that mattered.
Before he even knew how to stop himself, he leaned over and kissed the top of her forehead.
When he pulled back he saw a look on her face which he did not think he could quite read.
She wasn't unhappy but still…
'Sorry sweetness. I am just so happy your back.'
She nodded. She had got that memo.
'I should go.' He signed.
'Why?'
'Because you need your space with the kids baby, you just got home… you probably want a nap or a shower or something and I need to go get settled across the way there with Jack.'
And Adrienne…
But there was a look in her eye.
And he knew she wasn't happy. She had been when he said Marcus was coming home but now she wasn't.
And he did not like to think that he was the one who made it that way.
'Kayla, what's wrong?'
She shrugged. He gave her a moment to gather her thoughts and then she begun to sign. 'What if there is something wrong in the night and I can't hear it?'
'What do you mean?'
'With Joey?'
He was not a baby any more but he was always going to be their baby. And if the two of them could not communicate or she could not help him.
And then there was the phone ringing – who'd answer it… or the smoke alarm going off…
She had forgotten she realised… what it was like to be deaf in the world outside of the safety of the hospital.
When she was with people who understood what was going on then that lessened the fear. Last time around, just being in the same room with Steve and Kim had made her feel better knowing that if she had a problem then they were going to be able to understand what she was trying to tell them.
Bless the kids, they were leaning sign but it was not the same with Steph and Joey. It did not matter what was going on with her… she was there mama. She was not meant to lean on them, it was meant to be the other way round, always.
And then there was the other thing. It did not matter how far she and Steve had grown apart, she trusted he would always keep her safe, physically at least. If he was about then no one who she didn't want near her would get close…
'Stay.' She signed before she was able to stop herself.
'I… I can stay for tea… or I can stay… just stay…' he nodded... there was no way he was going to leave her if she invited him to stay.
If she wanted him there for good, then he would be. Their eyes met and the understanding went unsaid between them. He did not have the physical, mental or emotional strength to walk away from her. Not when she wanted him there.
'The sofa isn't too uncomfortable is it?'
Steve felt his heart swell. She really had asked him to stay. She wanted him around. If she had asked him to sleep on the floor without a pillow or a blanket then he would have.
'The sofa is fine, sweetness.'
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