Ichigo was living a previous memory. He was the same perverted person in his memory when he was eight as he was now. Ichigo sneaked through the halls of the Hinata House, tip-toeing very softly so nobody would hear him and pushed open the door.
It was how he remembered. A young, sexy brunette woman in her 30s sleeping in nothing but a man's shirt and no pants. He could smell her lavender perfume. He didn't care so much about the perfume but more about her breasts. He wanted to squeezed those H-cup breasts and flick her areolas - the perverted lion inside of him needed to feed.
" I am a boobie loving alien. Come to me, little mama-"
That's when it happened. Ichigo nearly had his throat slit by the woman. The girl acted on reflexes, but she slashed her sword diagonally. The hair on his jugular were cut in half. Ichigo was so scared he wet his bed for ten days straight.
Now here he was days later and this crazy woman was back. She tried to look so pure and clean, wearing that black blazer emblazed with the word "FLOWER" on the right collar and blue jeans, wearing a golden ring on her forefinger, ribbon in her hair, but all that sweetness couldn't put Ichigo away from the truth. The truth...she was a conniving psycho bitch.
" Yo," the woman said. " I'm here for the Hinata House reunion. Is Naru here?"
" Y-Yes." Ichigo said.
" May you take me to her?"
" Y-Yes." Ichigo walked towards upstairs with samurai woman. He thought about how much he wanted to get away from her. Her cold breath stank. " Shitballs."
###
" Ian. Ian. Earth to Ian. Wake up, Ian. It's your friend, Goro."
" Goro?"
Ian woke up. His head hurt. Being unconscious made his head hurt. The only remedy he had for that headache was Goro and his smiling face. If there ever was a character from a anime everyone would like it would be Goro. Goro grabbed Ian's hand and helped him to his feet.
" Thanks," Ian said sheepishly. " So, how long was I asleep?"
" A few hours."
" Hours? Hours? What the fuck? Wasn't anyone else worried about me?"
" No. Everyone knew where you were."
" Then why am I outside. Why didn't anyone put me in a bed or in the hospital? This isn't anime. I'm fuckin' fragile here. No one...no one in this house cares about me. No one!"
" I care about you. You're my bro, bro."
" Thanks, but that sounds really gay. Goro, please don't drop my pants and give me a hand job."
" Please..."
" Ian!"
Ian's ears perked up like a cats. He heard a familiar sound. He turned around and sure enough there he was. Keitaro Urashima. Keitaro and Aunt Ema. He made it. His father really came. His dumbass, four-eyed, strange father. Ian and Keitaro both opened their arms and frolicked towards each other.
" Ian!"
" Dad!"
" Ian!"
" Dad!"
" Hahahahahahaha!"
Keitaro and Ian ran up to each other and prepared to hug each other. But at the last second Ian's gleeful eyes turned angry red and he punched his father in the face. Goro and Ema both gaped as a tooth came flying out.
" YOU SELFISH ARROGANT BASTARD!"