LEGEND OF ZELDA LOOPS: LET THE FUN BEGIN!
Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda, or many of the ideas in this fic. This fic is for fun, not profit.
5.1 - (Crisis)
Zelda pouted as her little sister Malon laughed her butt off.
"This really isn't that funny, you know," Zelda Harkinian Antes Lon-Lon de Hyrule groused at the younger princess.
"Yes it is!" Malon Daphnes Tetra Lon-Lon de Hyrule squealed in reply.
"When I said I wanted to be a princess, this wasn't what I meant," the older sister glared.
"I know!" the younger sister giggled maniacally. "But when I forged official ties with your family, I had no way of being certain that this Loop would take that one as its history and merge our families. I certainly didn't think you'd end up being the older sister!"
"Yeah, yeah," Zelda muttered. "Laugh it up 'squirt'."
Malon just kept grinning like a maniac, until she suddenly gasped. "OHMYGOSH!"
"What?!" Zelda whipped around, trying to see what had gotten her little sister this Loop so worked up.
"I'm not the heir this time!" Malon's eyes were wide and bright. "Do you know what this means?!"
"Uh, no...?" Zelda hedged.
"I might not have to be the princess next Loop!" Malon exulted.
Zelda blinked.
"Maybe I can marry a farmer, and if the next Loop takes this one as its history, I can be the farm girl for once!" Malon turned her excitement towards her sister this Loop. "Ooo, I can'twait to see the look on Link's face when he sees that!"
"What do you actually know about farming? Or ranching for that matter?" Zelda asked curiously.
"Absolutely nothing!" Malon chirped. "How about you teach me?"
Zelda looked at the little sister who currently had the name that should be hers and should have had the name she herself currently held. "Sure, why not?"
5.2
Zant floated above the platform as Link panted below him. This Loop had been particularly draining, as in this variant, the "god" empowering Zant was apparently Majora, though luckily, no moon had been called down to crush the world. Ganondorf had been imprisoned in the Twilight Realm, but he had broken free and now Link, Ganondorf, and Midna (who wasn't Awake), were all facing down Zant.
Zant laughed as the Mask on his face continued to distort, long tendrils of shadow sliding out of his body. "Ha, yes, feel my hatred. Feel the despair of those banished from the light of the world. Ha haha hahahahahaHahAhaHAHAHAHA!"
Link tensed, reaching into his subspace pocket. The Fierce Deity Mask wasn't his favorite mask to wear. It was too easy for him to go into a bezerker rage, but, as he was facing the Mask, it would probably work properly. However, before he could pull out the mask, Ganondorf stepped forward.
"You want to feel hatred! Then feel mine, the Sealed Hatred of the Lord of Demons!" Dark flames burst around his body, and he raced forward, vaulting up a fallen block of stone, and shot into the air. The dark indigo flames spread around him, extending outward into the shape of a giant boar. With a thunderous roar, the burning boar slammed into the tendrils that surrounded Zant, ripping them apart as it drove into the insane King of Shadows.
As Midna stepped back through the portal to the Twilight Realm, the Mirror shattering behind her, Link glanced at Ganondorf out of the corner of his eye. The form he had taken in battle felt familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen or heard of it before. Ganondorf caught Link's gaze and smirked, before he turned and vanished in a wave of dark fire.
5.3 - (TricornKing)
"The name of the game," said Glados as the players took their seats, "is Texas Hold 'Em."
As each player took a look at the cards they were dealt, Wreck-It Ralph turned to his left. "So Ganondorf, how have things been man?"
Ganondorf added $800 to the pot for his check. "I've been doing rather well, Ralph. The loops have been especially crazy lately, but what else is new?" There was a general murmur of agreement from the other players.
"Don't I know it," added Bowser as he folded his hand. "Did you know, last loop I was in was a crossover with that My Little Pony universe? I'd replaced one of their regular villains, some unicorn named King Sombra, and was trying to reclaim some sort of Crystal Empire."
"Doesn't sound so bad," said King Dedede as he raised by about $1000. While Ralph folded, Ganondorf matched Dedede's raise. Glados then dealt the flop, a King of Spades, a Joker of Hearts and a Ten of Diamonds.
"Yeah, but I was some kind of giant pony-dragon-turtle-kirin-thing," said Bowser as Ganondorf bet $800. "Couldn't even really breath fire, though I had some nifty shadow powers with a nice fear-based area of effect aura." The white's of Bowser's eyes suddenly turned green as a purple haze began flowing from them, while the lights in The Inventory began to dim as shadows seemed to try and shallow every light source available.
Feeling a curt tapping at his shoulder from Winslow, one of the patrons, Bowser sheepishly reigned it back in. "Looking forward to seeing how Mario will react to that.," Bowser added. "He won't be seeing that coming at least."
Dedede had matched Ganondorf's raise, and Glados had dealt the turn, a Queen of Spades. Ganondorf tapped his fingers for a check. Dedede, rubbing his hands together with glee, pushed his $10,000 pile forward, saying, "Well boys, I'm going all in."
Barely raising an eyebrow, Ganondorf simply pushed half of his pile in as well. The two kings then revealed their hole cards, Dedede having a King of Diamonds and a Queen of Hearts. Ganondorf, meanwhile, had an Ace of Spades and an Ace of Diamonds.
The assembled players winced at the sight. Dedede slumped back in his seat, saying, "Alright already, just get it over with." Glados then dealt the river, which turned out to be a Ten of Hearts.
"King Dedede has...Two Pair," said Glados, " while our Gerudo friend has...A Straight. Ganondorf wins the hand."
"A pleasure doing business with you," said Ganondorf as he reached out and pulled the pot of chips to himself.
"King Dedede has been eliminated from the tournament," said Glados as she lowered herself from the ceiling. "Don't be sad. It's only money. Your money. $20,000 of it. Right down the train."
"Ah, stick it where the sun don't shine," said Dedede as he hopped off the table.
5.4 - (KrisOverStreet)
"I don't think you understand," Ganondorf said calmly. "I am not a magical clown sent here to sing and dance for your amusement. I am the reincarnation of a primal force of hatred and destruction... well, I used to be, anyway," he finished lamely, recalling a certain pigtailed princess.
"I think you used to be one of those here, too," the boy replied. "Then you got stuck in an oil lamp and buried in a cave of wonders for ten thousand years."
"And that's supposed to make me less violent?"
"It worked for the guy you're replacing."
Ganondorf shook his head in disgust. "Very well. Since I can't seem to break this geas... yet... I'll obey your commands, Aladdin." The Gerudo-turned-genie folded his arms solemnly and added, "But I absolutely refuse to participate in any musical numbers!"
Aladdin shrugged and said, "No promises..."
5.5 - (farsan & Gulping)
"I swear by Naryu that if I have to suffer through another Cuckoocalypse, I will somehow find a way to get a Cuckoo in the Royal Bloodline and make you two Rue the day!"
"Why is a chicken analogue on the list of Contraband Material?"
An audible creaking noise was heard as Epona and Skuld slowly turned their heads to Glare at the questioner with a combined intensity of .834 Fluttershys.
The senior admin pushed a button, displaying the Devastator Fleets of Cucco Queen Zelda undocking from the orbital shipyards over a scorched and ruined Hyrule, ready to embark on their mission to make the galaxy submit to the Abominable Angel's iron-taloned rule.
"Oh."
5.6 - (OracleMask)
" - so he says, 'this sword is so sharp you can trim a statue's hair with it', and I told him that sounds great, but I won't believe him until I get a chance to test it."
Sitting around a corner table in Eden Hall, several heads nodded. The speaker, a black haired lad who looked a little too young to be in a bar in the first place, waved his arms around as he told his story.
"Ne, Kirito, surprised he didn't get pissed off for not believing him," a white haired boy with red facial tattoos pointed out.
"No, this is the best part - he handed the sword over and turned into a statue so I could test it! I was so surprised I didn't think to cut off his head until after I gave him the new look," Kirito explained.
The other three burst out laughing. It was a struggle to keep their voices down - anyone who got too loud in Eden Hall was removed from the bar by the surprisingly multi-talented bartender who ran it - but they managed it. None of them wanted to be kicked out of their favorite bar.
"Weird loop," the lone girl at the table said, "So what has everyone else been doing? You have been keeping up the scythe training, right Haseo?"
She gave the white-haired boy a suspicious glare. He glared right back.
"Idiot Maka, what else would I be doing?" Haseo retorted, "Aside from collecting swords for Link's stupid bet -"
"You only think it was a stupid bet because you lost," Link replied cheerfully, "What did you say again? 'No way in hell can anybody keep totally silent for a hundred loops!' You were tempting fate and you know it."
"You're both stupid," Maka muttered.
5.7 - (Crisis)
Zelda Awoke sleeping. It happened to her at times. She'd Awaken in a Loop while her incarnation for that Loop was still asleep. It was actually something of a boon in her opinion and gave her time to reflect on things.
Things like her last Loop. It hadn't been the first time that she'd spearheaded a cultural revolution in Hyrule by embracing the traditions of one of their neighbors. Heck, it wasn't the first time that she'd chosen the Gerudo to do it with. She rather liked how the traditional desert outfit looked on her, and generally so did Link. Plus the 'scandalousness' of it tended to send her advisers into fits which was always entertaining.
No, the interesting thing was that she'd finally managed to figure out the formula of politics that allowed for the possibility of a marriage between one of her hypothetical sons and a daughter of the Gerudo tribe without forcing the throne of Hyrule to automatically pay homage to the Gerudo king when he was born.
There was an interesting trait of her home Loop that actions in one Loop could randomly become the history of a later Loop. Zelda was fascinated by this and one of the hobbies she'd taken to was making changes that would cause great alterations to a future Loop if they became such a history, and then watching what happened as a result.
One of her longest projects involved arranging to become a Gerudo. Sure, she'd looped in as a Gerudo before. Heck, she'd once been part of a forgotten illegitimate branch of the royal family by way of a Gerudo lover and wound up Ganondorf's mother (and hadn't that been a strange Loop). But she'd yet to be both Gerudo and legitimate princess of Hyrule at the same time. She was determined to pull it off one of these Loops, if only to see the look on Link's face.
Opening her eyes, she got out her bed, one standard for Hylian royalty, and made her way to the vanity as she began examining her Loop memories. Only to be stopped by the sight in the mirror.
Flame red hair. Amber eyes. Desert tan skin. On top of Hylian ears and a face very much typical for her.
'That was fast,' was all she could think.
Oh, and she was young enough that she could look forward to yet another exciting bout of puberty.
Examining her Loop memories closely, she quickly determined that her last Loop was indeed the history for this one. A son of hers (that she hadn't conceived in the last Loop due to the restrictions on loopers having children) had indeed been wed to a Gerudo woman. They'd had a gerudo daughter who was named Zelda as royal tradition mandated. She had married a Hylian nobleman and had...
Oh. Oh, my.
The sound of her door opening caused her to turn her head to see who was entering, and froze. It was her father for this Loop. Her Gerudo father.
His Royal Highness King Ganondorf Harkinian Daphnes Nohansen de Hyrule.
Who was clearly Awake.
"I have no idea what's going on 'daughter', but I have the strangest feeling you're responsible."
5.8 - (SpaceKGreen)
Link Awoke in a bed.
Immediately he noticed that something seemed a bit off.
He scanned his Loop memories. Nothing seemed out of place; it was another Loop where he started in Kokiri Forest.
Link was still lying in bed, trying to pinpoint what was wrong, when Navi flew in.
"Link! The Great Deku Tree wants to see... you... Link? Where are you?"
Link opened his mouth to reply.
"Woof."
Ah. So that's the reason.
Inside the Great Deku Tree, Link took a moment to gather his thoughts, while desperately fighting the urge to scratch himself.
Apparently the Link of this timeline was a wolf.
A wolf puppy, at the moment.
At least he still had his hat.
He had already verified that it apparently wasn't a curse this time, and despite his Looper knowledge, he seemed to not have any technique or spell to change himself back to normal.
It had taken him a while to convince Navi that yes, he was Link. Mido had tried to block him again, but retrieving a shield and the Kokiri sword, plus a bit of leg chewing, had convinced him to let Link pass.
He stood back up, and stretched. This would be an interesting challenge.
If only he didn't have this urge to sniff or lick... things.
Bleh, thought Link. Gohma tastes nasty.
Link sat, tongue lolling, silently laughing to himself, as the unawake Zelda tried to hold back her squeeing, and failed miserably.
Apparently puppies were enough to break her serious-Princess facade. Who knew?
He was very glad he had somehow managed to teach Navi to use a digital camera he had in his subspace pocket. Awake Zelda was going to like this.
He was right, this HAD been a challenging Loop so far.
Being a puppy did get him places, but it only got him so far. Darunia had been nigh impossible to get to, since Saria hadn't given Link her Ocarina.
He ended up having to outright steal the Sapphire, since Princess Ruto wasn't about to propose to a wolf.
As Link raced back to Hyrule Castle, an idea came to him. He grinned, and ran faster.
Ganondorf growled in anger as he pulled his horse to a stop. The Princess brat and her babysitter had gotten away from him.
No matter, he thought. Sooner or later, they'll turn up. And then I'll-
His thought was interrupted, as pain shot up his leg.
Looking down, roaring with anger, he saw a young wolf latched onto his shin, biting down HARD.
The damn thing was extremely persistent, hanging on despite Ganondorf's increasingly desperate attempts to shake it off.
Finally shaking it off, he readied a ball of dark magic, ready to tear the wolf apart...
...only to find it was quicker than he thought, and had disappeared.
And then it bit his other leg.
Link watched from a safe vantage point as Ganondorf ranted and raged around Hyrule field.
This was priceless.
Navi was still recording, barely able to hold onto the camera in her laughter.
This was going to be fun to show the Awake Ganondorf later.
In the Temple, Link stared at the Ocarina of Time between his paws.
Wait. How am I going to use this?
Link was getting nervous. He had gone through several Loops stuck as a wolf now, and now he was in a Fused Loop with that one wolf, Amaterasu, if he recalled the name correctly.
And the looks she kept giving him were starting to get disturbing.
Epona stared at the screen.
"This marker... So that's why he kept getting stuck as a wolf. Ammy? Have you been messing with my console? Are you trying to set up your analogue with Link?"
But Amaterasu had already fled the office.
5.9 - (SpaceKGreen)
Demise stood in his self-created realm, waiting for the human who had caught his attention.
It's almost a pity, he mused, that it's only a mere human.
Sure, the boy had taken down Ghirahim, who had seem oddly subdued when Demise recalled him. But against the full might of the Demon King, not even the gods could stand.
And then he would return to his task of taking apart the land of the so-called gods and claiming their precious Trifo-
Demise's thought was interrupted as he noticed something beneath his feet.
Two long bars of metal stretched into the horizon, with an odd pattern of triangles between them.
He hadn't created these. And what was that noise coming up behind-
CHOO CHOO
It hit him.
Link was having a hard time breathing from laughter as he went to retrieve the Master Sword from where it was fastened on the front of the Spirit Train.
Somehow managing to carry the Spirit Train with him after that one Loop? A lot of training to increase his subspace pocket, and a lot of searching through Fused Loops for some shrinking technology or magic.
Bamboozling the gods into redefining the normally annoying "Spirit Trials"? A lot of fast talking, and several promised favors that were probably going to bite him in the rear later.
The look on Demise's face right before the charged up Spirit Train hit him?
Priceless.
Link hoped that this Loop would form the history of the next few home Loops. Demise had ended up dying before he could leave his curse this time around. A few vacation Loops sounded nice.
5.10 - (SpaceKGreen)
Link stared at the mask in his hands.
It had seemed to be a fairly standard Majora Loop up until this point. All the masks had been the same, save for a few cosmetic differences, such as the blue Postman's hat.
But when he had traded away his last mask and walked to the Majora's Mask wearing kid, the Fierce Deity's mask that the kid gave him had been... quite different.
He stared at the mask in his hands, and a smile slowly started to spread across his face.
Ganondorf spun around as something crashed through the windows of his tower.
How had that hero bypassed his barrier?
His mind came to a halt as he processed the sight before him.
It was very large.
And very green.
The only sign that it was the Hero was the tunic bottom and tights that barely stretched over its legs, and the small green hat precariously balanced on its head.
Green eyes locked onto his, and a truly terrifying grin appeared on the monster's face.
'Din, Nayru, Farore, I don't suppose we can set aside our differences?', Ganondorf prayed fervently.
"LINK."
"SMASH."
5.1) - Gives a new meaning to "walk a mile in my shoes".
5.2) - It may only have one tail, but it has two massive tusks! (A nod to the Chakra Fox used by Naruto.)
5.3) - Read them and weep. Right now. Why are you not weeping yet? Have you forgotten how?
5.4) - "Prince Ali, Something something he, is Aladdin, blah blah."
5.5) - The Forces of the Iron Talon were led by their greatest infiltrator, Chicken Boo!
5.6) - The Swordsman Club - The Size of Your Sword Doesn't Matter, Only How Well You Stick It In The Other Guy.
5.7) - "How dare you speak to your mother that way?" "You're my daughter for this Loop." "Oh yeah, I forgot."
5.8) - Epona has a bone to pick with Ammy.
5.9) - Demise of Demise, by the Train Link Trained to Carry
5.10) - Puny Curse of Hatred