I fell asleep so fast, that the next thing I remember was my alarm waking me up. As usual, Jake wasn't awake yet. He would always come down around five minutes before school started for him, so now that we were going to the same school, I would be up hours before him. Fitz always picked me up an hour before school started so we could spend some time together before we parted ways. Since today was my first day, he was going to show me around first. I dressed quickly, before I went downstairs.
I was too stressed to eat, so I just waited for Fitz to pick me up. I would always be waiting for him, because some days he would come early, and would get mad that I wasn't ready. It wasn't his fault that his car clock would tell him it was thirty minutes earlier than it really was. I have learned to adjust my morning prep to wait for him, so he wouldn't have to wait for me. Only today, he wasn't here. I kept checking my watch, as I looked out the window, and noticed that it was getting close to the time school starts. Jake had just come down and was packing his bag to leave, meaning I would need to leave too.
"Need a ride? Or are you planning on skipping your first day?" Jake called from the kitchen.
"Sure." I said glancing out the window one last time.
I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door, following Jake. The car ride was completely silent, and I was staring at my phone the whole time. I was completely nervous, about my first day, and I didn't know where to go. I also had to make sure I didn't upset Fitz about me getting a ride with Jake. Fitz had told me that he was the only one that I would need as a driver while we were together. He also wouldn't be happy when I told him about the guys with the hearse. I didn't even know who they were but if Fitz told me to stay away, I would stay away.
"Hey, Jake. You aren't cheating on me, are you?" A flirtatious voice called over to us as we got out of the car.
"Why would I ever cheat on you? You're the one I would cheat on other girls with." Jake replied, wrapping his arm around a blonde girl about my height. "This is Clare."
"Oh my god! This is Clare? Wow, she is even prettier than you mentioned. I am Jenna Middleton, and this is Alli Bandarhi." She said gesturing to the girl standing next to her. She was darker skinned, with brunette hair, but very pretty. "Alli, let's show Clare to her classes." The blonde was too peppy for me, but she did seem nice. She linked her arm with me and Alli, before pulling me along to the front steps of the school.
The whole morning before classes started was a blur. Apparently, there was more time before classes started than I thought. After school started, they had everyone enter the school. Then you had thirty minutes to go to your locker, cram for tests, or even do last minute homework. Alli and Jenna showed me around the school, which was big. They seemed nice, and we had a lot in common.
"KC, this is Clare Edwards. Jake's step sister." Jenna called to a kid who was at least a foot taller than me, probably more.
"Nice to meet you." KC replied awkwardly. He put his hands in his pockets, and returned to meeting Jenna's gaze. They started a conversation that I immediately ignored, and turned to Alli.
"Jenna and KC dated for about a year and a half before breaking up. They had a baby awhile back, which caused their break up. They gave him up for adoption a few months ago." Alli whispered to me, as KC and Jenna chatted. That news shocked me, but I knew that not all people were waiting until marriage like me, and I respected that.
"I have to go find Dave; I haven't seen him in twelve hours." Alli joked. "See ya!" She turned and scurried off. Before I could even turn around, Jenna linked her arm with mine, and pulled me along with her.
"So how do you like Degrassi?" She asked.
"I haven't had time to figure it out yet. It seems fine to me." I said nervously.
"This school is amazing. I moved here about two years ago. It's great!" Jenna gushed. We stopped suddenly, in front of a classroom door. "Here's your first period. Alli and I will find you for lunch. Have fun!" She took off down the hallway and disappeared.
I stood awkwardly in the doorway before realizing I was blocking the door. I stepped in the classroom, and sat down in a seat no one seemed to be sitting in. I pulled out my notebook and began writing. Writing seemed to calm me when I was nervous. And I had plenty to be nervous about. I still hadn't seen Fitz and I was terrified to see his reaction. I had enough to worry about, that I didn't want Fitz mad at me. Especially not today.
"You got Fitz arrested?" A guy's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. His voice sounded familiar.
"He broke my car. He needed to be taught a lesson." Another voice replied.
I kept my head down, but tried to listen in without being noticed.
"How long?" The first voice asked.
"He'll be spending a few hours in the cop shop."
"He's going to be pretty mad." The first voice said. Oh, great. Another thing that Fitz is going to mad about tonight.
"I'll handle it." The second male voice stated.
I realized than who it was. I tilted my head a little to the side, to see that it was the guys from the night before. Perfect. I had to sit behind the two guys, Fitz told me to stay away from. The gothic guy sat right in front of me, and the skater sat next to him. I didn't have much time to think things through, because the teacher came in.
"Good morning class." She swiftly, set her coffee on her desk before turning to the class. "Okay, gentle people. I want you to break into groups of three, and start preparing your essay papers on the filming of the modernized scenes you will be doing, from Shakespeare. Than send a liaison to the front to pick up your film package. Choose wisely because you will be working with that group for three weeks."
Everyone started bustling around, and discussing groups. I wasn't in the mood to socialize, and I was glad that the teacher overlooked me when she entered the room. I sat quietly, and focused on my writing. I didn't care if I didn't have a group, and I was too nervous about today that I didn't want to deal with a group activity. I checked my watch, and noticed that there were about ten more minutes left of class. Which I was relieved about. Just when I thought I was in the clear for the period, someone tapped my shoulder.
"Want to work with us?" The gothic guy asked, gesturing between him and the skater guy.
"Umm, sure." I agreed as I chewed on my lip.
"Are you new here?" The skater asked. I nodded in response. "Well, I'm Adam and this is Eli."
"Clare." I replied.
"Do you want to meet for lunch and work on our essays?" Adam asked me.
"Okay." I agreed hesitantly.
I didn't know how Fitz would feel about me hanging out with Adam and Eli. They were obviously the guys Fitz told me to stay away from, and their conversation before class proved Fitz's accusations. I also didn't know what to tell Jenna or Alli. They told me they would find me for lunch and I didn't want to ditch them on the first day. Only it would save me from making friends. Fitz would be happy with me ditching them. But would he be happy if I ditched them for Eli and Adam?
The bell rang and I packed up my stuff, heading for the door in a hurry. I was hoping to leave the room before everyone else, considering my desk was the closest to the door. Instead I bumped into Eli before leaving. He smirked at me, with a half-smile, before walking away. I still don't think they knew it was me yesterday. The rest of the morning was a blur. I didn't see Jenna or Alli, and I was grateful. I didn't feel like talking to anyone. All the other teachers introduced me to the class, but we did individual work, and I kept to myself. I had heard more things about Fitz getting arrested, and I knew that was the reason for ditching me this morning. I just hope he is okay.
When lunch period came, I was thinking about skipping it and going to the Media Immersion lab. I didn't even get a chance to go, because Jenna and Alli found me. I had been walking passed the cafe, because the media lab was down at the end. I had figured that I could hide in the lab and just go at the end of lunch. That way I wasn't forced to stay the whole time. Jenna and Alli pulled me along to a table where Jake, KC, and another boy were already sitting at. The guy I didn't recognize was darker skinned, and extremely tall.
"This is Connor." Alli pointed out. She barely told me that, before turning to another guy who was just sitting down.
"Hey, I'm Dave." The guy who just sat down greeted me, before turning his attention back to Alli.
I felt extremely out of place, because Jake and Jenna were talking, and Alli and Dave were talking. They tried to make conversation, but I didn't really want to talk. I couldn't really focus on what either couple was talking about anyway, but I could stand to listen to KC and Connor. They were discussing a math test for next period, and didn't know how to solve a certain type of equation. I knew how to solve the equation but before I could help them, Adam and Eli came walking up.
"Hey Dave. Do you have the track for tomorrow? It's not in the studio." Adam asked.
"Yeah. Here." Dave said pulling it out of his bag. "Remember the topic; it's never the right time for flatulence." They both laughed, and Adam slid the CD into his bag.
"Clare. Do you want to work on the English assignment?" Eli asked turning to me.
"Okay." I agreed. Anything to get away from this awkward table.
I stood up and was about to follow, when I noticed Fitz in the cafe. He wasn't looking at me, until I stood up. He was glaring at Eli and Adam. I didn't know why Fitz didn't like them; all I knew is that I wanted to get this project over with. The moment he saw me, he headed in my direction. Eli noticed my hesitation, and glanced in the direction I was.
"Hope you learned your lesson." Eli called to Fitz.
"Too bad for you, I am a slow learner." Fitz called back, reaching me. The whole table had gone quiet, staring at Eli, Fitz, and, oh great, me.
"Guys? Teachers." Adam said, as a teacher passed by the table.
"Thought I told you to wait at your house for me?" Fitz asked turning to me. I could see anger kindling in his eyes, but he wouldn't show it to all these witnesses.
"You were late. So Jake gave me a ride." I stated, nervously. Fitz jerked his head, in the direction of the door, signaling me to follow him. I followed him without even a glance back at the table, or Adam and Eli.
Fitz directed me into a hallway that was near a room, I heard people call the Zen garden. It seemed more like a fish bowl to me. It had to be a sad place, if there was a memorial there. People were sitting all around it in and on it. I wonder what happened to this JT Yorke person. That wasn't my immediate concern, though. I stood at the end of the dead end hallway. There was a cut out, in the wall, that Fitz directed me too. So that way, if anyone was walking passed the hallway, they wouldn't see us. The anger in Fitz's eyes grew, and spread to his features. I was afraid of this Fitz.
"I thought I told you to wait for me. No matter what." He demanded. He was standing extremely close to me, speaking in a low voice, so no one would hear him.
"I—I didn't want to be late on my first day. I didn't think you would mind." I stuttered.
"You know what I've told you. You knew what I would say if you'd asked me first. I drive you to school. I walk to you class." He argued. "Why were you hanging out with Emo Boy and Tranny?" His sudden change in subject caught me off guard.
"I—I wasn't. They are just my English partners. I—I needed a group." My voice kept cracking and I couldn't speak above a whisper.
"I thought I told you to stay away from them?"
"I didn't think that they were those guys." I lied. "I just needed a group for this assignment. We were going to work on it at lunch."
"You are switching out of their group. You are not going to talk to them." Fitz demanded.
"I can't switch. Everyone is paired up. This is a big project. I can't skip it." I argued. I knew he was going to scream at me later at home, but for now I was going to argue back.
"Fine. You work with them." His face hardened. He grabbed my upper arm, and squeezed it hard. I knew I was going to get it later. "Only in class."
He stormed off, leaving me in the cut out alone. I slid down the wall, and pulled my knees up to my chest. I knew lunch would be over soon, but I couldn't even think about going to my next class. The bell rang, and I was forced to move to my next class. I put my mask in place, like I have learned to do, and hid what had just happened between Fitz and me. I had Science next and I slid into a seat gratefully, not trusting my legs to hold me up any longer. Alli rushed in and sat beside me at the lab bench. Apparently, we shared this class.
"You're dating Fitz?" She pushed. I nodded not trusting my words. "I can't believe it! Why didn't you tell any of us?"
"Jake knows." I said.
"I thought you liked Eli. He doesn't talk to many people outside of his drama club group."
"Adam and Eli are my English partners for a project. That's all. I don't even know them." I defended.
"You do know that Fitz and Eli and Adam are enemies, right?" Alli asked.
"What happened between them?" I asked. Alli was about to speak but the bell rang and the teacher started class right away.
"We'll talk later." Alli whispered to me, before opening her notebook.
I didn't concentrate on this teacher either. I was so worried about Fitz's reaction to me standing up to him. I knew he was going to be angry. I wanted to make an excuse to him, for not giving me a ride home, or coming over tonight. I just didn't know what to say. Fitz was right, staying isolated was easier. The bell rang, quicker than I expected, and I hurriedly put my stuff away. My arm hurt a lot, from when Fitz grabbed it, and I knew I would have a bruise on it, when I looked at it later.
"Do you want to hang out after school? Jenna is staying at my house right now, and I was wondering if you wanted to come over for a sleepover movie night?" I really wanted too. I remembered my old friends and I would be up until dawn watching movies. It being Friday, that would've been the plan. Not since Fitz entered the picture.
"I can't. I have a lot of makeup work. My other school was farther behind than here." I lied. I was becoming pretty good at lying and I was hoping she didn't catch on.
"We could help you. By the look of your schedule, we are both in the gifted classes. I could help you catch up if you want." Alli proposed.
"Fitz already told me he would help me. It's okay. Maybe another time though." I said before leaving the classroom.
I knew Alli was suspicious, and wanted to say something more, but I had to leave before she caught me in a lie. I walked over to my locker and dumped all my books in them. Then I turned and headed for the front door of the school. Fitz was waiting there, at the bottom of the steps, leaning against his car. His car was a clunker. It would easily break down any minute, but he would rather spend money on cigarettes. I hadn't come up with a decent lie yet, and everyone was spilling out of the school by now. I didn't want to cause a scene, because that was one of Fitz's rules. Fitz was definitely angry, and I didn't want to stir the pot anymore. I tossed my bag into the open window, and was about to open the door, when Fitz pulled me into a kiss. It was sloppy, and forced. He knew it, and I knew it. He always wanted to make out in public, and go further when we were alone. He never wanted to talk or just hug. He always wanted something more. I pulled out of the kiss, and he seemed even angrier. I ignored him, and got into the car. As I was shutting the door, I noticed Eli and Adam standing at the top of the stairs, staring down at us. They were obviously confused, and I could understand why. I looked away, and stared out the windshield, until Fitz started the car, and we drove away. I was terrified to know what would happen when we got home. Since it was Friday, my mom and step father would be off at work, and then would be going out to dinner and gosh knows what else. While Jake would be out until late, and then bring some girl home. I doubted it would be Jenna, since she was hanging out with Alli tonight. He always cheated and I stayed out of his business, because I didn't want to talk to him more than I had to anyway. When we pulled up to my house, he cut the engine. I opened my door and stepped out, while he did the same. I was terrified to step foot in that house, but I knew I had too. It would be worse if I didn't get it over with now. I walked up to the door, and unlocked it with my key. When I went to open the door, Fitz pushed me into it. It made the door swing open, which he kicked it closed. He grabbed my shoulders and pushed me against the wall.
"How dare you ever talk back to me like that?" He growled in my ear. "You don't talk to me like that. You don't argue with me. What I say, is what happens!"
"Ow. Fitz. Stop. You're hurting me." I whimpered, while trying to push him away. He was grabbing me in the same place on both arms that my bruise was. Making it that more painful.
"Don't pull away from me! If you had obeyed you wouldn't have been in this position." He said shaking me.
"I didn't disobey. I did what I thought you would've wanted me to do. I couldn't be late because than I would've been grounded. I couldn't choose to not do the project because I would get grounded. You get mad when I get grounded, so I did what I thought you wanted." I lied. Hoping he would buy it.
"I was at your house before school started! I was only late because I waited for ten minutes before I rushed to school because you weren't there and you didn't tell me. I was at your house before Jake leaves for school. You were obviously not watching for me."
"You were not there when I was there. I was watching the whole time. I only stopped watching when Jake said he would give me a ride. You were probably going after your car's clock time." Even as I said it I knew I shouldn't have. Fitz removed his hand from the arm without the bruise, and squeezed my other arm more fiercely. He lifted his hand and struck me on the cheek.
"Don't. Tell me what I did. I know what time it was!" He growled in my ear. I pulled away from him and fell to the ground, shuffling into the corner by the door.
"You should leave Fitz." I stated, trying to hold back tears.
"Babe, you know I didn't mean it." It was like flipping a switch. He was sweet and caring again. He crouched over me. "You know how crazy I get, when I don't get to see your pretty face." He kissed my hand, and then my cheek. "I'm sorry. Forgive me?"
I looked into his eyes for a few moments before answering. "Always." I love him. I know he loves me. And I know he didn't mean it.
"It will never happen again." He promised. I know that he meant it. He has always kept his promise.
"I know." I smiled. My phone started to ring, before I could say anything more. I looked at the caller ID and realized it was my mom. "It's my mom. Hold on." I walked over to the sofa and flipped open the phone, pressing it to my ear. Fitz followed me and wrapped his arms around my waist, from the side.
"Be quick." He murmured in my ear, as he started kissing my neck. I ignored him the best I could as I answered the phone.
"What?" I asked sternly.
"How was your first day?" She asked. I knew she didn't care that much. It was probably my step father having her call.
"Fine." I replied.
"Clare. I did this for your own good. You just need to accept that." She stated.
"Are we done?" I asked.
"No. Your father and I are coming home. We were just thinking that we should have a family night tonight instead. Tell Jake that he can't go out tonight. He is there doing homework right?"
"You mean stepfather." I muttered. "Yeah, Jake is right here."
"Your father and I will be home in ten minutes." She stated before hanging up.
"You need to leave." I said, turning to Fitz.
"Are you seriously still mad at me? I said I was sorry." Fitz said snuggling up to my ear.
"My parents will be home in ten minutes. I can't have you here when they get home. Then I will get grounded for sure." I stated.
"No. Your parents need to be accepting of me." He retorted.
"Go. I have to call Jake to come home too."
"You don't tell me what to do remember?" Fitz growled.
"In this case. Yes, I do. Go." I ordered. I knew I was going to get into deep trouble but I dialed Jake's number and avoided Fitz gaze. Fitz stood up and walked out the door. Slamming it, on his way out.
"What do you need?" Jake demanded as he answered the phone.
"Mom and your dad are on their way home. Family night. Ten Minutes." I sighed.
"Fine." Jake said before hanging up.
I sat back in the sofa, and relaxed. Without even knowing it until now, I was actually thrilled to have a family night. If it meant getting Fitz out of here. That thought reminded me that I needed to cover my face with makeup just in case my bruise appeared tonight. I powdered my face with foundation and returned to the sofa. My phone went off as I did. I flipped it open and read the text message I got.
Hey, I no u said u couldn't sleepover 2nite. Want to sleepover 2morrow? It's fine if u still need 2 study. We r in the same class so I thought I could help.
-Alli
I would love 2 I just don't think I can. I need 2 talk with my mom & step father.
-Clare
K. Call me later w/ answer.
-Alli
I shut my phone and leaned back on the sofa. Fitz didn't control me anymore. I wouldn't let him. Not with my friends. I love him, and I won't leave him because of his faults. I just want to have a social life now, so I won't let him control that.
"Hey." Jake sighed with relief as she walked through the door. He dropped his backpack on the table in front of me, and started pulling his notes out of it. "Thanks for the cover."
"Yeah, whatever." I sighed.
I stood up and grabbed my own backpack and walked to the dining room table. I dropped my books onto the table and sat down. Just as I started taking notes for a math test on Monday, my mom and step father walked through the door.
"Good. You're both here. Clare please come into the living room." My mother called.
"Oh great." I muttered under my breath. I stood up and walked into the living room.
"Jake. Clare. Your father and I are going to be going away this week. Your father's work is taking him down south a bit, and while he is doing the renovations, I'll be with him. We'll be back Wednesday."
"What? Why aren't you staying here?" I asked confused. Spending a four days with Jake alone was going to be torturous. It also meant more time for Fitz, which was the exact opposite of what I needed right now.
"It's too early in our marriage to be splitting up and I don't want to leave his side for a second. My work approved it today. You and Jake will be staying here. I have made arrangements with your father to check in on you from time to time. I don't know how reliable he will be but, none of the less, he is your father."
"Why don't I go with you? I mean that way I get some training experience. I need all the training I can get if I want to get into a trait school." Jake proposed.
"Yeah. We can both come." I piped in.
"Clare. No. You need to stay in school. You just transferred today. You are probably way behind in work." My mom stated. I knew that was the end of the conversation. Great.
"Jake, if don't mind working on this house for fourteen hours a day, for four days, than you can come." Glen replied.
"Awesome. You have nothing to worry about, Dad." Jake agreed.
"Alright, well we leave tomorrow." Glen said. "So you better get packing, bud."
Jake flew up the stairs, faster than when he was with any of his whores. Glen and my mother smiled at his excitement. But as they turned to me, their faces dropped.
"You cannot stay by yourself. Do you have someone that you can stay with?" My mother asked. Of course I couldn't stay by myself. They don't trust me. Not their Christian daughter.
"Yes. Jenna and Alli told me I could come over. I can definitely ask them if I can stay over every night." My words filled with sarcasm.
"I'll see if your father can stay here with you." She replied angrily.
"Great. I'd like to see how that goes." I argued. "Let me know what the outcome is of that conversation. Phone throwing? Yelling? Screaming? It all does get very interesting when you two talk."
"Clare Diane Edwards!" My mother screeched.
"Wow. You called me Edwards. I thought I was supposed to be Martin?" I asked coyly.
"Go to your room now! We will discuss this at dinner." My mother's voice rose, as if that were possible.
"Not. Hungry." I replied standing up.
I retreated to my room, and slammed my door. I fell back onto my bed and screamed in frustration. I didn't even know I was asleep, until I woke up the next morning.