Chapter 12 - Home Sweet Home
(3 agonizing hours of Kim's stuttering later, 7pm)
"That was the WORST piece of garbage performance I've ever SEEN!" Vance exclaimed while giving his own classmates a dressing-down speech, "All you had to do was to perform Romeo and Juliet for just two and a half hours. It took us a full hour and a half just to go through Act 2 when it normally would take us just 40 minutes! The only two who shone through was Steve as Romeo and Zita as the Nurse! The rest of you clowns were flat-out terrible! And the balcony scene? OMG, the spoiled banana that has been stuck in Miss Tudor's desk for two weeks can act better than the rest of you! You'd better get your behinds in gear for Sunday and do it perfectly, or else we will throw tomatoes at you because that is what the audience is going to throw at you sorry sods of cow leavings!"
With that speech, the Glee Three all departed, frustrating that practice took longer than usual.
Kim sighed, holding the script in her hands. "I don't know how I can overcome it, Ron! Doing this is harder than ruining one of Ubel Drakken's crazy plans!"
Ron, now out of his tree costume, comforted her and said, "Of course you can overcome it! You're Kim Possible, the girl who can do anything!" Rufus, from Ron's pants pocket, agreeed with him.
"Yeah...including flubbing up my lines for two hours!" Kim moaned.
"Getting this down in a week will have to take you skills and self-concentration, KP." Ron said, "Did Shakespeare write all his plays in one night? I don't think so!"
"I'll probably have to go home and study this script. If I wanna make an A on my course I would have to block out my hottie detection alert system!" Kim said to Ron.
"It's very hard to do with so many eligible cute freshmen and sophomore guys in the running." Ron admitted, "So I gotta get my good luck charm going with the girls!"
"Ohh..." Kim sighed, rolling her eyes, "...this should be fun to watch!"
(5 minutes later)
Ron took a seat on the front row, completely dejected.
"Good luck charm didn't work?" Kim grinned.
"That was the fastest rejection time ever from the girls at drama class! Six beautiul girls...and they all spiked me!" Ron sighed.
"Finding the perfect girl for you isn't going to come to you in an instant, Ron." Kim smiled, "You just have to find her out there..." She then touched his heart "...in here."
Then a familiar voice interrupted the conversation between Team Possible. She was shouting out loud from the seats.
"Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here, Stoppable? It'll preseve your dignity faster!"
It was none other than Bonnie. She was with Amanda, sitting right next to her.
"The correct phrase you were probably looking for, Bonnie, is making like a tree and leave!" Kim corrected her cheer rival, sneering at her. "Which is what you should do!"
"Oh, did I get my phrases wrong, Kim? Or are you just that plain foolish and stupid...especially in front of a cute boy?" Bonnie asked, smirking.
Kim, like a lioness, stormed out from the stage and stomped her feet on the tile floor in the aisle, approaching the brunette.
"You'd better not call me stupid, Bonnie! I am not like that!" Kim growled, pointing a finger at Bonnie. "And you'd better not lay your hands on Josh for the homecoming dance!"
Bonnie countered back with a surprise intended for the redheaded rival, "Perhaps you're just too slow, Possible. For Amanda here recorded your entire performance!"
In that moment, Amanda took out a video camera, all the while laughing.
Kim, once again, groaned, "You didn't record everything...did you?"
Bonnie chuckled, "Everything...especially the balcony scene!"
Kim gasped, for this was the scene she screwed up on the most.
"Oh no...not that scene...anything but that scene!"
Bonnie continued to relish this moment, "You don't even have the strength to get though it! And the only thing you will feel is the squishing of tomatoes in you face...or the crack of a rotten egg! Whichever you prefer!"
"And as for Josh..."
Kim pleaded, "Tell me Josh didn't say yes to you!"
Bonnie then took a deep breath and said, "No, he didn't!"
Kim breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, thank goodness! I still have a shot at him!"
But Bonnie had yet another ace up her sleeve, "Amanda has said yes to Josh! So sorry, Possible, but he's taken."
Amanda, upon hearing the news, squealed with glee.
This was a stab right in Kim's heart! For months, she had been crushing on Josh, but was yet unable to forumulate the words to say to him. Now, the ship has sailed to another girl...and it was none other than the stooge of her bitter rival, the supposed 'Queen B' of Middleton High.
"And I didn't come away empty handed either! Rick Flagg, the star QB, did a beautiful serenade to me at my house for the dance! I immediately said yes to him! As for Mr. Jackson, he's taken as well by Jessica!"
Kim seethed at all of this bad news coming towards her way, "All of your triumphs will turn to ash, Bonnie! Mark my words!"
"So won't happen, wannabe!" Bonnie smirked.
Kim growled and barked, "Come on, Ron. Let's go home!"
Ron agreed as well, "I'm so with you, KP! Tex-Mex is just begging to my stomach right now!"
_
(7:30pm, Possible house)
Kim and Ron got out of Mrs. Queen's minivan.
"Thanks for the lift, Mrs. Queen!" Kim said to Tara's mom.
"It's the least I can do, Kim, since you came in to help babysit the youngest Queen!" Mrs. Queen said in reference to her 3-year old daughter, Clara. "Tara was so swamped with homework!"
"And didn't I help too?" Ron chimed in.
"You were the one who played around with the baby wipes and thought they were puppets!" Kim snarked.
"It was for entertainment purposes!" Ron said, pointing that out.
Kim knocked on the door.
James Possible opened up the door. He was working on a food compound to be used in chocolate that would taste sweeter than any other kind of chocolate.
"Coming!"
"Hey, Kimmie-cub! How was your and Ronald's day at school?" he asked.
"I..." Kim began before Ron nudged her shoulder
"Sorry, Ron. We had a terrible, no-good, very bad day, Dad!" Kim corrected him, plopping on the sofa and sighing.
"What happened?" James asked sternly at his daughter. "Did you get in trouble, Kimberly Ann?"
"No, I was bothered and pestered today by one Bonnie 'Miss Priss' Rockwaller!" Kim growled.
"And I got spanked three times today by her mom for being late to class!" Ron whined, tying to sit on the chair "It just hurts even to sit down!" He tried to sit down on his buttocks but got up quickly.
"On top of that, I got spiked by two guys for the Freshman-Sophomore Dance and I flubbed on Romeo and Juliet!" Kim continued her woeful day. Rufus came out of Ron's pocket and petted Kim's hair in an effort to comfort her.
"And I have to memorize all this by next Thursday..." she also added while taking out her copy of the script with the highlighed Juliet role parts and flipping through the pages "...or I will not only get a failing grade but also be the laughingstock of the entire school!"
"Then I suggest you get crackin' on that script!" James chuckled.
"All of the other classes I can ace with no big, but drama class is so the drama!" Kim said with a sigh.
"Why not get help from Ronald? The two of you usually help each other when you fight against Ubel Drakken and his crazy take-over-the-world plans." James suggested.
"He helps me in the hero part easily. On the school front though...it's an entrely different story!" Kim said, arching an eyebrow to her best friend since Pre-K.
"Hey, I try to lift a hand...sometimes!" Ron countered.
"Into a bag of Tex-Mex from Bueno Nacho while having eating contests with Rufus!" Kim said in a savagely playful mood.
"Speaking of food, Kimberly, I want you and Ronald to sample the chocolate that I have made today!" James said. He offered up two chocolate bars.
"If it's all right, Ronald, can Rufus also take a sample bite as well?" he also asked, handing an offer up to the naked mole rat.
Rufus, on Ron's shoulder, nodded his head in excitement.
"If it is good enough for Rufus, it's good enough for me!" Ron insisted.
James grinned as he gave the chocolate bars to both Kim and Ron. Rufus also took a part of it as well.
They all bit a sample of the chocolate and took the time to savor the taste.
"Soooo...what do you think?" the Possible patriarch asked.
"Mmmmm...this is tasty, Dad!" Kim said while swallowing the candy!
"This is really, really, good, Mr. DrP!" Ron agreed as the sweet sensation made its way through his body.
"Tasty!" Rufus squealed for joy.
"Glad you three like it!" James said with satisfaction.
"So where's Mom? Still at DC?" Kim asked about the whereabouts of Senator Ann Possible.
"Yep, she called me on the phone and she said she'll still be there until the end of the month." James replied with a hopeful sigh, "I miss your mother so much."
"Me too, Dad. She would be the one to help me figure out my boy dilema!" Kim said.
"You can still call her up, Kimberly...if she isn't bogged down by any special sessions!" James suggested.
Kim then ran to her bedroom to see if her mom was still in her office. If there was anyone who can give some real advice about boys without sounding awkward, it'd be her.
She got to her room and grabbed her phone. She dialed the phone number for her mom's office the way she remembered it.
Instead, Kim got the following from an interative voice response system...
Hello, and thank you for calling the United States Congress Touch-tone Menu System! We will try to make your call enjoyable! To listen to this call in English...press '1'! Para escuchar esta llamada en español ... pulse '2'! ... Pour écouter cet appel en français, appuyez sur '3'... Um diesen Anruf auf deutsch zu hören, drücke 4...
Kim pressed the '1' button.
You have selected 'English' as your choice. If you wish to become a lobbyist, press '1'. If you wish to listen to a congressman or congresswoman of your choice filibuster a bill for 15 hours, press '2'. If you want your congressman/congresswoman to redraw the voting lines, press '3'. For a list of pork barrel projects that have no impact on the country whatsoever, press '4'. If you want to hear the roll call of all members of Congress, press '5'. If you're calling for a Republican and a Democrat to call each other obscenities, press '6'. If you wish to complain about bureaucratic red tape, press '7'. If you are the legitimate child of a Congressman/congresswoman and not one of an extra-marital affair and have typical teenager issues, press '8'. To repeat the menu, press '9'.
Grunting, Kim then pressed the 8 button.
You have chosen option 8. If this is correct, press '1'. If not, press '2'. To go back to the menu, press 'pound'.
Already losing her patience, Kim pressed 1.
If you are doubly doubly sure...press '1'. If not, press '2'.
Frothing at the mouth, she pressed 1 again!
You have pressed 1. Please give us the full name of the Congressman/Congresswoman that you wish to speak with!
Kim growled her mother's full name: "Ann Nomally Possible!"
You have selected: (Ann's voice) Senator Ann Possible Please hold! Your call is very important to us and will be answered by the next congressional page of the congressman/congresswoman that you wish to speak to.
The next thing she heard was the instrumental version of 'I'm Just a Bill' on a loop for 45 minutes as the hold music. As the minutes ticked away, she was losing more and more of her patience.
"Could I PLEASE talk to a REAL HUMAN BEING!"
Finally, after 40 minutes of hair-pulling, wailing and grinding of teeth agony, she finally came in contact with a human being, the congressional Senate page for her mom.
"Hello! Who is this that I am speaking to?" the page asked.
"Kimberly Possible, daughter of Senator Ann Possible! Can I speak to her?!" Kim asked, almost out of breath from screaming bloody murder.
"Oh...Miss Possible!" the page exclaimed on the other line, "I didn't know it was you! I do apologize though that your mom is attending meetings right now! I can put you to her voicemail."
Kim sighed, defeated, "Please do...". She was then put on hold for another 5 minutes before finally reaching her mom's inbox.
You have reached the inbox of (Ann's voice) Senator Ann Possible. If it is work-related, press '1'. if it is personal, press '2'."
Kim pressed '2' groaning.
"Please hold while we get you to the 'personal' inbox of (Ann's voice) Senator Possible! (I'm Just a Bill plays again)"
She gave a loud moan upon realizing of being put on hold...again...
(30 more minutes later)
Kim came back downstairs. Her hair was completely messed up.
"It took me an hour and a half...but I finally sent the message to Mom on her voicemail!" she grunted, "This will be the last time that I will deal with these automated phone systems for good!"
Ron agreed, "You can't trust them these days. They'll trap you like what scientists do with the whole lab rats and cheese thing!"
James then said, "Oh and Kim, Veronica Rockwaller just called me up!"
Kim and Ron were both horrified when they said, "Veronica Rockwaller?!"
"Don't worry, you two!" James said, "She wanted chaperones for the Freshman-Sophomore Homecoming Dance on Saturday!"
Kim gasped and performed a facepalm.
"This...is so not happening to me...