A/ T: I know I may sound too graphic, but I'd like to thank you all once again for your kind comments. They mean the world to me. I bet you know how a single line can make someone so happy.
Special thanks to Callen37. Welcome back girl!
Enjoy my friends!
Darkness has fallen and Deeks wanders around like a lost soul. He has no idea what else to do but just stare at the black sky wondering where Kensi might be right now.
She isn't dead. He would have felt it. She is somewhere out there, hanging on to life, waiting for him.
He feels so angry he could kill someone.
He is angry at Hetty for assigning her to this mission.
He is angry at Callen and Sam for not stopping her.
He is angry at Granger for authorizing the assignment.
He is angry at Sabatino for not protecting her.
He is angry at Eric and Nell for holding vital info from him.
But most of all, he is angry at himself for not being by her side. It's his job to protect her. He promised her that he would never let anything happen to her.
And now he's failed.
Callen , Sam. Reilly and Granger left on the horses about an hour ago to scout the area and meet with some local contacts. All of their base cars were disabled and Granger was one grumpy fellow riding the horse.
A part of Deeks wanted to join them, but as it turns out he was too scared. He was scared he might find Kensi's dead body somewhere in the desert.
He knows himself all too well. A sight like that would definitely be his undoing.
Death is part of their job, that's for sure, but they never teach them how to deal with it. He has no problem dying.
After all, he always pictured he would die in the line of duty before even turning 40. That's why he made a vow to live to the fullest.
But, he always found it difficult to cope with the death of those he cares about.
His mother, his grandfather, Traynor….Somehow though, he got over them and moved on.
But now it's different. This is Kensi we are talking about.
How can he live without her when all his future plans include her? He feels a shiver down his spine just thinking about it.
She isn't dead.
Period!
He runs his hands through his hair letting out a deep breath.
He must focus and come up with a plan.
The trailer is finally cleaned up so he decides to step in for one more time and try to relive her last steps.
As he walks into the near darkness he can smell the chemicals used to wipe it clean.
The smell of gunpowder and death is finally gone.
He turns of the light switch and takes a quick look around.
It's empty.
They may have washed away the blood, but the signs of the huge fight are evident.
Bullet holes in the walls, trashed computers, destroyed furniture….
He steps into the bunk-room and scans the room.
He wonders where Kensi was sleeping?
He bets it was to the bed nearest the door. She always needs to be close to the exit.
Then he sees it. A grey scarf tossed on the bed.
Could it be hers?
He takes it in his hands and breaths it in.
"Oh, it's definitely hers," he sighs
He could recognize that distinct smell anywhere. A sad smile escapes his lips as he holds it close to his nose once again.
He doesn't care. He is keeping this.
He takes one last look around but apparently everyone's belongings have been removed.
Probably to send them back to the families of the deceased.
He unfolds the scarf and wraps it around his neck. He needs to keep Kensi's smell as close to him as possible.
This waiting is driving him crazy. They have no clue who and why abducted Kensi and nothing makes sense anymore.
Does the Ghost want something in return for her life?
Wouldn't he have contacted them if that were true?
Is he so sadistic that all he wants to do is torture her and then leave her dead body for them to find?
He holds his head in his hands trying to come up with a logical answer. He goes over and over in his mind everything he knows, which is basically nothing. Kensi never told him much about the case other than she didn't even trust her own shadow.
"Where are you?" he whispers as he holds the scarf close to his lips. He is so deeply lost in his dark world that he is caught off guard when Callen and Sam enter the trailer.
"Who are talking to?" Callen wonders?
"Huh, no one, he turns around surprised.
"Were you talking to yourself and….what is that around your neck," Sam tries to lighten the mood.
"What? This?" Deeks points the scarf. "It's nothing. It just got chilly in here."
Callen and Sam though know him all too well and don't fall for his obvious lie. The way he softly caresses its edges make it crystal clear.
"Is it Kensi's?" Callen asks but he already knows the answer.
Deeks just nods and smiles bitterly. "What did you guys find?" he tries to change the subject.
"Nothing noteworthy," Sam shakes his head in disappointment. "This guy is truly a Ghost. No one has ever seen him"
"So what do we do now? We wait until he leaves her body on our doorstep?" Just the sound of that sentence made everyone's stomach lurch.
"No! The hospital called and Booker is finally awake. He wants to talk to you."
"Me?" Deeks looks confused. "I don't even know who that guy is. I mean…I know who he is….Kensi told me he was an analyst….but I've never met him in my life before."
"Well apparently, he knows you. So, grab your gear. We've got a car and we are going to the hospital."
Suddenly, Deeks sees some light at the end of his endless tunnel.
He is packed and ready to go in no time. Every minute spent in the dark was a true nightmare.
But now, they may have a lead. Booker must know something otherwise he wouldn't be so eager to talk to Deeks.
The drive to the hospital was a blur and endless.
All he could think about was the thousand scenarios that crossed his mind. They hurry to the reception but all their hopes soon crumble to dust.
"Agent Booker formed a clot and was rushed into the OR again. They are keeping him in the ICU for at least another 12 hours. I am sorry but no visitors are allowed," a nurse sadly informs them.
This isn't happening. Their only lead, their only hope to find Kensi might not make it through the night.
Deeks feels his blood pressure rise. He can't accept it. His mind begins to race.
They can't wait that long.
"But he wants to talk to me. He asked for me. I have to see him!" Deeks pleads.
"I am sorry sir, you'll have to wait," the nurse insists and Deeks soon loses his patience
"You don't understand me. This is a matter of life or death. An agent's life is in danger and he is the only one with the answers!"
"Even if I let you in, you still wouldn't be able to talk to him. He is highly sedated. I am sorry, " the nurse walks away leaving the three men helpless.
"So what do we do now?" Sam asks.
Deeks collapses on the nearest chair therefore refusing to leave.
"Now we wait."