LEGEND OF ZELDA TIME LOOPS: In which Loops are Followed Up On

Disclaimer: I hereby disavow ownership of the Legend of Zelda or associated properties. I likewise deny any and all claims that I will profit from the usage of such in the following chapter (or any other chapters contained hereunto within this compilation).

12.1 (Detective Ethan Redfield)

Luffy in the Great Sea cont.

Outset Island's inhabitants, the Tetra Pirates and the Rito postman stood around, gaping as Luffy shoved another chunk of oversized meat into his mouth, which seemed to stretch in an inhuman manner. Luffy sat next to his aunt, who was sweating from operating the oversized oven that sat in the middle of the island.

"Uh captain," whispered Niko.

Tetra sighed, "Yes, Niko?"

"Where did he find that oven," He asked.

Tetra shook her head. Niko was not present when one second Luffy reached an accord with his grandma that, 'if he finds a large enough oven, she would cook that bird,' and the next a large oven sat in the middle of the island, prepped and ready to cook. The captain was a woman of strong instincts. To a pirate, the captain's instincts mean life or death, capture by port authorities and lifelong prison or the good life of luxury and freedom on the high seas. Her instincts have got her and her crew around and through some of the harshest storms and violent sea monsters. And right now, her instincts told her not to question it, lest her mind snap, "Not now, Niko."

Even as Luffy shoveled more meat into his mouth at an inhuman rate, managed to spit out, between bits of bird, "Where do you think this big guy came from?" referring to the Helmaroc King.

The Rito snapped out of stupor right at that moment, "He was flying towards the Forsaken Fortress."

Luffy tilted his head, "Forsaken Fortress? What's that?"

The Rito crossed his arms, "It it home to a group of pirates. Perhaps one of them tamed this great beast of the sky."

Tetra leaned back, falling on the ground as she mused loudly, "I heard that the leader of the Fortress was kidnapping young maidens. Or at least that's the rumor on Windfall Island."

The air on the beach seemed to chill slightly. After a few quiet seconds, Luffy set his latest helping of meat down, lifted himself up and walked to the resting Tetra. He leaned over her with a serious expression on his face, "Oy, Captain Tetra. Lend me your ship."

Tetra expression shifted to shock, "Huh?!"

With the sound of metal brushing against leather, six sword wielding pirates had their swords pointed at Luffy, centimeters from his body. Gonzo, Tetra's first mate, shouted, "Hey, who do you think you are, asking something like that from Miss Tetra?! We're pirates and we won't be bossed around by the likes of you!"

Aryll's shriek broke through the tension, "Big Brother," as she tried pushing her way through the pirates to hug her older brother.

Luffy's palm came up in front of Aryll, stopped her advance, "Stay back."

His gaze drifted from Tetra to Gonzo. The future pirate king's pupils shrank as the air rippled around him ever so slightly. A second passed, then Gonzo and the other pirates collapsed, unconscious. Tetra's eyes widened even further, "What...you guys, get up! What are you doing, falling down on the job like this..."

She shook Gonzo, then backed up slightly, her hand clenching the dagger on his backside, "W-what did you do? Who are you?!"

Luffy's expression never wavered, "Monkey D. Luffy, captain of the Straw Hat Pirates. Now take me to the Forsaken Fortress."

It was nighttime when the pirates arrived at the Fortress. The pirates mostly avoided the Straw Hat Pirate since they discovered Luffy could use Haki, not that they knew what it was. Niko, though, took a shine to him after passing several tests in the lower section of the ship.

Luffy and Tetra stood atop the crow's nest, gazing towards the fortress, "So here we are. The cursed isle known as the Forsaken Fortress."

As Luffy pulled out Aryll's telescope, Tetra shook her head, "There are all sorts of rumors about this place. Some time ago, they were small time, but now it looks pretty dangerous."

Tetra eyed the cannons lining the walls, then watched the searchlight patterns, noting any holes in the search pattern. Her instincts told her to leave as fast as she could. Her eyes scanned the fortress and landed on the flock of seagulls massing around a single window, "See those seagulls by that window? I'll bet you anything that's where they're holding the kidnapped girls."

Luffy returned the telescope to his subspace pocket, "Might be a bit too far for me to stretch. Alright everyone! Get ready, we're storming their gates!"

Tetra slapped her forehead, "Idiot. We'd be bombed out of existence before we got within 100 feet of that entrance."

She closed her eyes for a second in thought, then opened one with a wicked grin, "Besides, I got a better plan."

A few minutes later, Luffy was resting in a barrel with his head and strawhat peaking out of the top. He looked at the barrel and gave an ooohhh of appreciation as Gonzo and another pirate carried him on their shoulders, "I got it! I'll float across the watery expanse and they'll think I'm a barrel of water. Then, they'll lift my barrel up and I jump out and attack."

Tetra sighed to herself, "Not quite. We shouldn't leave it to chance."

Now Luffy looked confused, "So you're going to float up and pretend your delivering some supplies?"

Tetra screamed, "Of course not, idiot! Who the hell would fall for that?"

The female captain took several deep breaths before becoming composed, "We're going to fire you across the water into the fortress itself."

Luffy's eyes sparkled, "SO COOL! Let's do it already!"

Gonzo counted down from three. At one, Luffy's brain kick started, "Uh, but wait, what if you mi-"

And then, Luffy was gone, screaming as his barrel was fired over the wall and smashed against the fortress' keep. Only after Luffy was long gone did Tetra allow herself a short giggle. That boy was interesting if nothing else.

Luffy muttered to himself as limbs pulled himself up the side of the keep, "Gah, that girl...if I had hit the water I would have been done for."

Luffy's pocket started vibrating, "Hmm? What's this?"

"Your hat landed all the way up there? Shoot! I'm sorry! I apologize! I guess my aim was off by a bit."

Luffy felt his head, and gaped, "AHHH! MY HAT! That was the hat Shanks gave me from before my loops began!"

His hand reached into his pocket and withdrew a small, blue and glowing necklace, "Heh, heh, the look on your face is priceless."

It was Tetra's voice coming out of the stone. Luffy shouted at the stone, "What's the hell were you doing, Tetra! You could have killed me if I landed in the water."

The stone's glow dimmed slightly, "So you can knock my crew out with just a look, use rubber like superpowers, but you can't swim. Priceless."

Luffy glared at the stone, "What is this thing anyway."

The future pirate king could almost see Tetra's smug expression, "A family heirloom. It allows me to see what you're doing and hear what I'm saying."

Luffy shoved the stone in his pocket and crossed his arms, "Geez, what a troublesome girl."

It was just as his eyes opened that he noticed the surrounding moblins and bokobins, all pointing sharp weapons at Luffy. His Haki activated a second later, but none of the surrounding monsters dropped or even seemed phased. The pirate tilted his head and gave a small grin, "Well, looks like I'll have some fun."

And like that, the area exploded into alarms and screaming monsters.

Tetra slapped her forehead again, "That boy...doesn't he know the meaning of stealth at all? Gonzo, move the ship forward. While the pirates are distracted, we're going to attack. Open fire on all cannons lining the walls around the entrance, then hit the entrance once they've been taken out."

The pirates shouted the affirmative and scurried into action.

12.2

*YAWN!*

Link stretched as he awoke, and then Awoke, blinking sleepily as he stared at the ceiling. Slowly, he sat up, rubbing his eyes, and he reached out towards the Triforce.

"Yow!"

Link half-jumped half-spasmed, falling out of his bed at the surge of energy and pain that raced through his body. Normally, when he reached for the Triforce's energy, it flowed through him like warmth and fire, flowing smoothly through his limbs. This time, however, it felt like pins and needles were surging through his bloodstream. The feelings of strength was there, but it was almost overshadowed by the odd not-quite-painful tingling. Link scratched at his arm and lifted his hand to check the back. The familiar triangle glowed on his hand, but then Link did a double take. Though it was the same shape and color, the triangle on his hand wasn't quite like he remembered. He ran a finger across it, confirming what his eyes were showing him. A triangle made of glass and outlined in metal was embedded in the back of his hand, glowing softly with an inner light. Slowly, Link lowered his hand to his side.

*Knock Knock Knock* Several sharp raps came at his door. Link quickly rose from his position on the wooden floor and went to answer the door. Zelda was standing just outside as he opened, and she quickly pushed her way in, shutting the door behind her. Link idly noted that the door was rimmed with metal and what appeared to be plastic, forming a tight seal. He turn to look at Zelda, and blanched.

Zelda looked horrible. He skin was pale and clammy, her eyes were bloodshot and couldn't seem to quite focus on Link. Quickly, Link pulled a chair out, and Zelda practically melted down onto it.

"What happened? Are you ok?" Link reached forward to feel her forehead, but she waved his hand away.

"I'm...fine. It's just...difficult...to link with the Triforce...this time." Zelda shook her head. "We...have to get...out of here."

Link blinked. "Why? What's wrong?"

Zelda glanced at him, her eyes narrowing. "You...don't have your...memories yet...do you?"

Link shook his head.

Zelda nodded grimly. "Hyrule...no...Skyloft...are aliens this Loop."

Link blinked, and then his memories triggered. He was a member of the Sky Forces of Skyloft, an invasion vessel sent out by the Hylian High Council to conquer a distant planet. Founded millennia ago by the Golden Trio of the Weapon's Master Din, the Great Magi Nayru, and the Silent Sage Farore, the great Hylian empire had expanded across the cosmos, aided by the TriForce Computer system invented by the Trio. The latest model of TriForce computer was on-board this ship, which was apparently what Link had connected to earlier. The tingles he felt were the nano-machines in his blood stream that linked him to the TriForce.

"We're...the bad guys." Zelda ground out.

Link blinked. If he was bonded just through the nano-machines... "Are you directly linked to the TriForce?"

Zelda nodded. "Yes...and it is...very hard...to keep the other...administrators from noticing." She shook her head. "Ganondorf is Awake...on the planet. Not linked to...this Triforce."

Link nodded. Now that Zelda had mentioned it, he could somewhat feel his usual connection to the Triforce. It was muffled by the power of the nano-machines, but it was still there, and he could feel both Zelda and Ganondorf through it. Link nodded decisively and stood up straighter. "Where to first?"

Zelda grit her teeth and stood. "To free...Batreaux. He came...from the surface...and was caught. He is being...interrogated. Have you pinged, enh, yet?" She grit her teeth and grabbed the doorway to steady herself.

Link shook his head. "Not yet." He quickly did so. "Why didn't you?"

"Couldn't...concen...trate." Zelda bit out.

Two pings returned, both from a distance. "Two, probably on the surface."

Zelda nodded, then made her way through the door. "Come on. We...don't have much...time."

At the very least, Link's Sky Wing Aerial Fighter was easy to spot. Large and red, it was parked on a wide stretch of stone, which had replaced the wooden festival grounds by the light tower. Several other fighters were parked on the surface, but no-one was guarding them. Everyone was rushing around, fighting the fires caused by Link's distraction.

Link had sent off his entire collection of Bombchus (all 67 of them), to detonate and cause havoc on the island. It had worked splendidly, allowing Zelda and him to sneak down to Batreaux' cell and free him with barely any resistance. Now, the three of them were crouched by Link's craft, as they tried to figure out how they would fit.

"You can't sit in front of me, I won't be able to fly."

"You expect...me to just...get squished in...back?"

"No. I don't know, I just..."

"Ahem. I don't know if it is of any use to you, but I am capable of flight, you know." Batreaux cut in. Zelda and Link glanced at him as he fluttered his wings meaningfully, then back at each other.

Link nodded quickly. "Right, that works. So, you just, uh, jump off the edge, I guess, and Zelda and I will follow shortly." Skyloft was currently in its usual position, though it was there as a forward base for invasion, rather than a peaceful oasis of culture. In any case, Batreaux should be able to make it, as the cloud layer was apparently not as thick this Loop.

With not another word, Batreaux leapt out from under their cover, dashed across the yard, and flung himself off the side.

Link and Zelda stared after him for a moment. Several seconds past, then Link stirred. "Well, I guess he should be fine. We want to go down anyway, so it's not like he would fly back up or anything."

Zelda nodded slightly, then reached forward to climb up the ladder on the side of the Sky Wing.

The two of them settled in, and Link triggered the Sky Wing on. Almost immediately, a voice called out through the speakers.

"You there, trainee. Where do you think you're going, eh? You know the rules, no night flights allowed." Link ignored the voice and pulled the Sky Wing up, letting his Loop memories guide him. With a quick turn and twist, they shot forward and over the edge, aiming almost directly down the side of the ship-island.

"What are you doing?! Get back here before we *KZZK*" The speaker shorted out as Zelda shot a spark of lightning at it from her fingers.

"Boring conver...sation, anyway."

Link laughed. He was only a few feet from the cloud layer, when he suddenly had to twist sharply upwards, as a bolt of lightning shot out from the clouds, almost striking the ship. Link felt like smacking himself as he remembered the reason why the Sky Wings hadn't swooped down across the surface yet. The cloud layer below might have been thinner, but it still magically charged, and it would lash out at the invaders when ever they got close.

"Great, what are we going to do..." he jerked, sharply, as a 'ping' registered in his mind. "New Looper?" He 'pinged' back, and received a quick response. Too quick.

"There's a Looper back on Skyloft."

Zelda stiffened behind him, before she started to laugh. "Not...hehehe...for long...hehe."

Link twisted to ask what she meant, just in time to see a bright light, spring off of the side of Skyloft. It shone, like a light arrow, and quickly curved around to fly straight towards them.

'A missle?' Link quickly started to swerve, causing Zelda to slam into the side of the cockpit behind him.

"Oof. What are...ow, you doing? That's Fi!"

Link stopped, glancing back at the rapidly approaching shining spark. "What? How do you know?"

"She's linked...like me, but...I think...she's better at...cutting them out."

"Huh. Well, cutting things is her specialty." Zelda smacked Link on the back of the head as he chuckled. Now that she was closer, Link could make out Fi's shape. She was glowing a rainbow of colors, leaving a faint trail behind her as she cut through the sky towards them. Though, Link did notice something.

"Is she planning to slow down?"

The answer was, apparently, no. Without the slightest break in speed, Fi shot past them, down towards the crackling cloud layer below. Lightning lashed up to strike her, but, rather than falter, she charged straight through, seeming to drink up the crackling bolts. With a muffled boom, she pierced into the clouds, blasting them apart.

"Heh, always predicting what we need." Link kicked in the engines, accelerating after the now distant blade.

They almost made it. They had cleared the ring of clouds, which were closing in again, when a stray bolt of lightning snapped out and struck their wing. The engine attached to that side of the ship sputtered as lightning danced across it, before dying with a smoky cough. Link grit his teeth as he struggled to keep the Sky Wing from spinning out of control, gliding towards the ground as best he could. Greenery stretched beneath them, but up ahead, there was a small patch of blue. A lake. Link didn't really recognize the terrain, but figuring out where they were could wait until they were safely on the ground. Link pulled hard on the steering levers, trying to force their nose up through force of will. They were just...too...far...

A thin hand stretched over Link's arm and flared open. A semi-opaque bubble sprang up in front of them, stretching out and thin, as they plowed into the green grassy slope just short of the lake. Zelda's shield held, digging a furrow under the ship, before they crashed into the water. Link quickly popped open the glass hatch as the craft began to slowly sink. The lake seemed pretty shallow, but he didn't want to try and swim out while hauling Zelda. He turned towards her, just in time to see her leap out and land on the surface, striding primly towards the shore. Link rolled his eyes.

Zelda was waiting, smiling slightly on the shore, as Link trudged up. It had taken him a couple of tries to get waterwalking working, so he was somewhat soaked. He shook out his boots while shaking his head.

"So, I'm guessing your headache went away."

Zelda shook her head. "No, but I can manage now. The distance and clouds are interfering, I think."

Link nodded, before glancing over her shoulder. "Well, here comes company."

A mixed collection of beings were coming towards them. Link spotted Gorons, Mogma, Kikwi, and what looked like a Zora, as well as Moblins, Octorocks, and assorted Demons. Batreaux was in the lead, and he rushed up to them grinning, but it was the figure behind him that caught their attention.

"May I present, my two rescuers, um, Link and Thelma?"

"Zelda", Link corrected absently, as he stared at the imposing figure.

"Right, right. Well, Link, Zelda, allow me to introduce the Lord of the Surface, Master Demise!"

The towering demon lord grinned, his hair crackling as he hefted Ghirahim onto his shoulder. "It is a pleasure." Link didn't even have to check his connection to the Triforce to recognize Ganondorf behind that smile.

12.3 (DrTempo)

Ganondorf took a sip of wine as he sat on his throne. Or at least, it LOOKED like wine.

Ganondorf had found himself in that Castlevania Loop he'd heard of once, and he was in the role of Dracula himself. Ganondorf chuckled at the irony, as he and Dracula were similar in many ways, right down to the tendency to take over any evil plans going around.

For Dracula, however, it was usually the goal for him to be revived. Ganondorf...well, he just tended to steal the show, so to speak.

Ganondorf ended his line of thinking, and had to admit, he enjoyed this Loop, as even 'death' was a mere inconvenience, he'd be back eventually via getting revived. At least it was more often than back in his home Loop, and the powers and castle he'd be getting from this Loop would be good too (assuming he could still call on the castle, he would have to practice this Loop to ensure it carried over). It'd be yet another way to challenge Link's skills. By now, Ganondorf saw Link as a worthy foe, someone who'd never cease to amaze him. Having a 'son' here in Alucard was also an interesting thing for Ganondorf. Alucard was Awake, and was likely this Loop's Anchor, but Ganondorf wasn't sure of that yet.

The door to the throne room then opened, and Ganondorf smirked. Looks like Richter Belmont was right on time.

As Richter prepared to deliver the infamous lines, Ganondorf smirked, and drew his sword.

"We both know the roles we play, Belmont. Let's just get past the chatter, and enjoy this!"

Richter frowned and charged, and with a smirk, Ganondorf prepared himself. Let's see what this Belmont can do!

12.4 (generiguy)

"You get to collect the entire Triforce?" asked Navi.

Link nodded. "I told you; Skyloft loops are pretty fun."

"That's so useful! Just wish for extra bottles, and you can put them in your subspace pocket!"

Link stopped and looked at the fairy floating above his shoulder. "No."

"Why?"

"Once I tried wishing for upgraded bombs instead of defeating Demise. You know how sometimes a loop can take the history of a previous one?"

Navi bobbed up and down in a nod.

"The next loop was a Dark World loop where he'd survived, and taken over Hyrule."

He paused for a moment and shuddered. "It was worse than the time when Ganondorf was the Cucco King."

Navi visibly recoiled, and quickly shook herself to get rid of the memory. "That bad?"

"Yes. ...I'm not wishing for anything else other than Demise's annihilation again."

Navi paused mid-flight. "...why couldn't you just wish for an item that could defeat him instead?"

"...huh?"

Navi flew around Link's head excitedly. "Then next one of those Skyloft loops, just wish for something else from the Triforce, and use the item to defeat him! Demise defeated, so he won't come back in another loop, and you've got a free wish from the Triforce! It's easy!"

Link frowned. "...I don't know if the Triforce works that way. I told you; I don't want to risk it."

"Come on! What's the worst thing that could happen?"

A swirl of light flashed from the sky, and Link rematerialized on the Statue of the Goddess. After a second, there was another explosion of golden light, and three golden triangles rose into the sky.

They swirled around each other, and Fi popped out of the Master Sword. Link already knew what she had to say. It was kind of hard not to memorize "Link, wish for Demise to be defeated!". Occasionally Fi's speech differed, though. Sometimes it included more percentages. Sometimes less. Once it had even taken the form of "Vish for ze ruffian to go avay!" in a weird loop where Fi had worn a top hat and a monocle.

Thankfully, now was not one of those loops. Halfway through Fi's familiar sentence, Link tuned out and stared at the rotating triangles.

Would this really work?

It would have to. If worst came to worst he could probably just try and defeat Demise with Light Arrows, but for Navi's sake, he'd have to at least try this. Turning his attention to the triangular shards floating in front of him, he thrust all other thoughts out of his head and wished.

'I need an item that can defeat Demise completely.'

This would hopefully work. If Navi was right, this would give Link a baseline loop where the Triforce was as good as his. Even if he didn't need anything right now, it would always be good to have a near-omnipotent artifact on his side.

'Oh. And the item should still work even if I take it to another loop in my Pocket.'

That should be enough. Hopefully, it would work. Hopefully, this would solve all his Demise-related problems.

'And it shouldn't be like a Bow. Kind of like the Bug Net; it shouldn't need any ammo to do its job.'

Link grimaced. The Bug Net? Really? Was that really the first thing that popped into his mind? Not the Ocarina of Time, not the Iron Boots, not the ever-useful Hookshot, but the Bug Net?

Either way, it was too late to change his thoughts. The golden triangles in front of Link glowed intensely, and stopped rotating to come to a vertical position. With a chime, they took places at before locking together in a triangular formation Link knew VERY well.

There was a final flash of golden light. Even with his arm in front of his face, it was still blinding, and once it faded it took Link a few seconds to get his sight back. It took him a few more to locate the item now on the ground in front of him.

It was a golden Bug Net.

His eye twitched.

12.5 (generiguy)

"Navi... where art thou?

Come hither, Navi.

Listen to my words.

Dost thou sense it too?

The climate of evil that

descends on Hyrule.

The time has come for

the boy without a fairy

to begin his quest.

Navi... go now! Fly!

Find him and guide him to me!

Fly, o Navi, fly!

"...Great Deku Tree, are you okay?"

That's Great Haiku Tree,

For such I'm called. Now Navi,

Why are you still here?

12.6 (Conceptualist)

Nine hundred ninety nine Heart Containers?

Ninety nine million Rupees and six hundred non-consecutive years.

The resources to build and maintain an intricate Heart Flower farming contraption in a Subspace Pocket?

Eight loops in Minecraft.

Figuring out how to how to Collect Items in Subspace without actually opening the Pocket?

Five loop crashes resulting in Safe Mode Loop, with three in the awful CD-i varient, one in Eiken, and one in a gender flipped version of Eiken.

An infinite supply of Heart Flowers, restocking and healing him as fast as he could get hurt?

Priceless.

12.7 (generiguy)

A dark form emerged, shrouded by smoke. Large black scales adorned its body, with flamelike spines flaring from its back. It was a creation of pure malice, and it had a job to do. The Spirit Maiden was within its grasp, and all it had to do was to walk up a long spiral ramp.

It lifted one of its bulky legs and immediately toppled over onto its side.

It twitched.

It tried to thrust one leg into the ground. Surely this would push it up. In a few seconds it would be upright once more, continuing its relentless walk towards the ancient Temple of Hylia.

The leg failed to gain traction, pushing the dirt aside and digging a furrow in the earth. Its white stubby toes wiggled furiously, trying to gain some control over the beast's predicament.

A deep, guttural moan reverberated throughout the Sealed Grounds.

"Link?" the beast spoke in a high-pitched voice. "I thought you said The Imprisoned could fly!"

"And that's why no, I'm not eating you right now." concluded Navi. The old woman in front of her hadn't quite recovered from the shock of seeing the abomination she so despised talking to her, but she was steadily improving.

It probably didn't help that when Navi tried to knock she ended up breaking down the door.

"So I'm going to go see if I can find where future Kokiri Forest is going to be. When you see Link, tell him where I am!"

A very slow nod.

"Great! Thanks!"

As the mammoth jaws disappeared from her view, the caretaker of the Sealed Temple decided now would be a very good time for a nap.

12.8

Link turned on the TV and then sat on the couch. He had just woken up in what seemed to be a hub Loop, and his Loop Memories hadn't revealed any interesting backstory or quest material. So, he figured he would see if he could find a television program he hadn't watched before.

"...interview with Captain Blake Rogerset, about the intervention of the North Sea Narwhal Patrol in the attack on his vessel."

"...facial horn. They were like Jedi of the sea, they stopped Cthulu from eating me."

"Captain Blake runs a sea trawler in the North Sea, and just two weeks ago, he was attacked by a mysterious green monster, which he claims to be Cthulu. In any case, the North Sea Narwhal Patrol intervened in the attack, driving off the monster, though it did cause a rather large commotion that was heard from miles away."

"Commotion or not, you have to admit that those Narwhals are pretty awesome, don't you Sarah?"

"That is certainly true, John."

"In any case, a bit further south and west, tensions between the leprechauns and unicorns have reached an all time high. The Leprechaun leader, Thomas O'Greeley, has been accused of both spreading several malicious rumors about the unicorns, and also of enslaving several unicorns for use as mounts. He continues to deny these claims, while calling for sanctions against the unicorns, citing supposed economic losses he claims were caused by rogue elements within the unicorn community. We will have more on this situation as it develops."

"Now, let's turn to Mallory for her coverage of the new rising band, Shrimp Glockenspiel, after which, we will discuss the new rising fashion trend of mustaches."

Link leaned back in his chair. Well, this Loop certainly didn't seem like it would be boring.

12.9 (Crisis)

Ganondorf's a Father cont. (From Loop 5.7)

Ganondorf rubbed his eyes in irritation. This time around, he'd Awoken with exactly what he'd been trying to gain for untold Loops. The throne of Hyrule unquestionably his, plus a clear head he hadn't enjoyed since that one Loop where he'd been the hero instead. Except he'd found that being the legitimate King came with a few... twists he hadn't been expecting.

"What do you think you're wearing, daughter?" he growled out at the crown princess his pre-Awake self had sired.

Like the fact that he was the father of one of his long-time nemeses, Princess Zelda. Who, after confirming that she was Awake as well, had taken their familial relationship as permission to drive him crazy.

"Just some traditional garments," the red-haired, dark-skinned teen princess grinned back cheekily.

And he couldn't just kill her for her insolence. After all, she was blood of his blood, even if only for a single Loop. He might have been unspeakably evil for many of his lifetimes, but even he drew the line somewhere.

"That," Ganondorf spat, gesturing to the clothes that exposed more skin than they covered, while emphasizing every feminine curve the wearer possessed, "is not traditional wear for a princess of Hyrule!"

Off to the side he could hear his Queen mother (the first Gerudo born into the royal bloodline and also named Zelda due to royal tradition), who'd practically shoved him onto the throne when he came of age according to his Loop memories, laughing her ass off. And he knew she had every right to after what his own Unawake self had put her through.

"But it is traditional wear for a Gerudo warrior who has passed the trials of womanhood," Zelda shot back smugly. "You wouldn't want me to shun my noble Gerudo blood, would you?"

Oh, that was fighting dirty...

"It's traditional wear for a Gerudo woman out to seduce a paramour!" Ganondorf nearly roared.

"Well, duh," the teen Zelda rolled her eyes as her grandmother finally collapsed into a nearby seat in mirth, "Link's coming over for the first time since I've been recognized as of-age by Hyrule tradition as well as Gerudo. I don't want to waste any time."

"Fifty rupees says his eyes pop out of his head!" the elder Zelda hooted.

Ganondorf groaned and shoved his face into his hands and prayed that someone would launch a timely invasion of Hyrule so he could actually deal with something he had experience in. Having to deal with an Awake teen Zelda and her enthusiastic love affair with an equally Awake Link was taking its toll on his sanity.

12.10 (Detective Ethan Redfield)

"Malon."

"Yes Link?"

"Would you mind explaining why there are 13 feet chickens wandering around Hyrule?"

Indeed, there were countless oversized chickens clucking away as they wandered around Hyrule field. Malon looked at them, "Probably trying to find a nesting ground."

"Ok...I assume you had something to do with that."

Malon nodded, "Yes, when you're sealed in the sacred chamber for however many years this time, we can stomp out the hunger problem that inevitably arises."

Link nodded, "Ok, I'm with you on that. But why is it that they can breathe fire?"

One chicken lifted his head and gave a cluck, only for a stream of fire to issue forth and set Kokiri Woods ablaze.

Malon shrugged, "Seemed like a good idea at the time."

Link turned to her with a bewildered expression, "HOW is that a good idea?"

"If Ganondorf ever tried taking one of those chickens for himself, he'd set his own castle on fire. They even have the ability of Cuccos-"

The anchor-by-proxy shook his head, "No, no, no. Fix this, NOW, before he rounds up a couple and uses them to guard the Hyrule Temples."

The Looper cast a Farore's wind and disappeared in green light. Malon puffed out her cheeks, "Sakura really liked them when I showed them to her."

12.1 - Later, Tetra would consider changing her name to Tetra D. Awesome

12.2 - Hyrule Invaders

12.3 - Belmont Whips had nothing on the Master Hookshot. They certainly came close though.

12.4 - Link was much less upset when the next iteration of Demise turned out to be half-cockroach.

12.5 - The Loop just got weirder when Kaepora Gaebora always spoke in raunchy limericks.

12.6 - Even Link isn't quite sure how the Heart Containers work.

12.7 - Haha! I'm loud enough you have to listen now!

12.8 - Credit is due to the amusing Youtube stylings of Weebl.

12.9 - Link wasn't sure whether to be more frightened of the outfit Zelda was wearing, or the burning broadsword Ganondorf was failing to hide behind his back.

12.10 - Mad scientists have to stick together.