Chapter 31

Autumn was slow to arrive in Salem that year and it was as if summer was reluctant to leave. But September came all the same.

JJ was off to Salem U and Joey and Ciara were both moving up in two the next grade. Both of them were sorry to see the return of the classroom. Especially Ciara who had had a wonderful time getting to know her father once more, as well as a week's trip to NYC with her mother.

As for Joey's dad, Steve was once more back on the police force. Roman had made both him and Bo work for it and had made it clear that if they went wondering off this time, then there was going to be no getting back on the force again. They were on their last chances. Steve pointed out that last time he had left it had hardly been through his own choice, but apparently involuntary death was not a good enough reason.

Both men had been sworn in the end and Caroline had thrown a Brady BBQ to celebrate. It had been such a long time since they had all been together…

They had had a great summer… but it was over.

Tentatively, Kayla had gone back to work as the leaves begun to fall too. It was not full time yet and she was not yet practising medicine again.

Her recovery had been slow. Physically she was well, but she had thought her hearing and her speech would have returned quickly like the last time. And she knew she should not keep comparing it all to last time but she could not help it.

It had taken her a week to hear and speak again. But this time around, here she was a month after the operation and she could do neither.

Marcus said there was nothing for them to worry about. These things did take time and they were just going to let it do its thing.

It was a frustrating process but her ear drum looked good. Not only Marcus said so but Dan Jonas agreed.

Thus Kayla was trying to focus on the good in her life…

And it did seem as if everything was getting on track. Stephanie had a good job. She was, of course, making noises about moving out but there had been no action which was just the way her parents liked it.

The four of them were together… that was what mattered.

In fact, in many ways, life could not be better. Until she remembered that there were also many ways in which it could be.

She had to be grateful for what she had. But she was not a liar. And she knew she wanted more.

X x x

Adrienne sighed as she sat in the Donovan's living room. She and Kim had been friends for years but this – this was more than a visit to a friend.

She just wasn't here to see Kim.

She wanted to talk to her properly, like the two of them would have in the old days. She just hadn't made it very clear perhaps.

"The two of you have a beautiful home," she sighed as Kim came back with the coffee.

"It is not too bad, is it? You know when Shane and I moved in here it was in such a rush. We were so worried about Theresa and about Kayla…" she sighed. "But things have settled down and now we do have a lovely home. And a life back in Salem."

"It seems as if life is working out for all of us now."

"Well that is good to hear. But you do have a lot to look forward too. Can I feel?" she asked as she eyed Adrienne's bump.

It had become more and more pronounced over the last few weeks. The day before she had walked in to Club TBD and Sonny's eyes had all but popped out his head at the sight of her.

That was when she had known she was showing – really, really showing.

She had to admit she had got used to being the centre of attention.

Everyone wanted to feel her bump. It had got to the stage with her brothers where they did not even ask.

They rushed into the room to check on her and the minute she had confirmed she was ok, they had their hands on her stomach asking how their little niece was. Both had been delighted to hear she was having a girl.

They had both doted on their girls and now they were going to do the same for hers.

"I think she is sleeping at the moment, but she was having a party on the way over," Adrienne explained.

"Well then enjoy the rest. I remember when I was having Andrew and Jea – Theresa, the moments of peace was treasured."

Adrienne nodded. She did treasure the moments when the little one was not playing football…

There was a silence between them.

"Is everything ok, Adrienne?"

She nodded. "Of course. Everyone has been wonderful. Everyone can't wait for it to come and Lucas and Justin have both said they are willing to stand by me…"

"Yeah?"

She nodded. "Justin has…" and that was when she had tears in her eyes.

She put her head in her hands.

"Oh Adrienne…" her friend said as she came close, wrapping an arm about her.

"He has been so wonderful."

And he had. That summer he had all but doted on her. He had gone with her to get a stroller and a crib and he had asked her to move back in with him.

"I so want to trust him," she admitted.

Everything in her was telling her to trust him and to love him the way that she had done when they were young. But there was a big problem with that. They were not young any more. And so much water had passed under the bridge.

"But –"

"But I do not know if we can ever get back to the place where we –"

Yet she did not have to say it.

That was what she wanted for the two of them.

Desperately. So that they were able to get back on a good footing, if they could, before their little girl came into the world. If it even was theirs…

She was going to need all the love and the support which they could give her…

And Adrienne was sure they were going to be a lot stronger if they were together.

"You know the one thing - only thing that can – that can give you that faith and trust in Justin back is time."

That was not what she had wanted to hear. "But the two of us are on kind of a time limit here."

She did not want to get this wrong. That was the last thing in the world that she wanted.

She did not want to make the mistake of pushing him away when they were good together. When they were strong together and they could give their child a great life together.

But she also did not want to open herself up to any more pain. She did not want to risk letting him in, getting settled and letting the baby get used to him…

Then get it wrong that way.

Either way she knew she was not going to be able to spend too much time of this… when the baby did arrive her needs and her worries were going to have to go on the back burner… it would have to be all about the little one.

"But it is not going to be long until this baby is here."

The one thing she did not have was time. The baby was not going to wait for her to be sure about whether she wanted to raise her with Justin. She was going to come when she was ready. Not before and not after.

Adrienne looked at Kim. She knew she was being somewhat immature here but she knew deep down she had come in the hope her old friend was going to give her an answer and say 'yes, Justin is the right choice and he loves you. Give him another chance and it is all going to work out fine' or 'no, he is an asshole for all he has done to you over the past few years. Move on and forget him.'

But she knew she was not going to get that.

"Honey, if you want to make up your mind before the baby comes there is not a whole lot you can do but bite the bullet and hope for the best."

Kim knew that wasn't the answer she had been looking for. If she was Adrienne then she would want something a lot more solid to go on. But she also knew how hard it was to try and walk away from the man who had been the love of her life for years.

It was near on impossible.

"He says he loves us and that he wants to be with us."

"And do you believe him?"

That was what it came down to. If she could find the faith to believe him or not.

She wasn't sure…

"I want too." And that she thought could possibly be a start. Maybe.

X x x

"Do you think it would be trying too hard if I booked a couple of tickets to the football game at Thanksgiving?"

Jack stood in the Horton kitchen.

The last month had seen the continued improvement of the relationship between himself and his son but there was still a lot of work he knew he had to do.

It was going to take time – there was no fast track it seemed to the love of your beloved child being returned. But if it took hard work then that was what he was putting in to it.

That said the more time dragged on the more Jack felt as if he had to step up his game a bit.

And so he had sat down the other night and tried his best to think about what dads were meant to do with their sons.

It had been hard as it was not as if he had had any shining examples of fatherhood in his own life.

The only way he had had any interaction with Duke was when he came back to haunt him and the two of them spending proper quality bonding time had never been all that important to Harper. Yes, he had in his own way been a loving father but it was only up to a point and any affection which he had had for him died a long time ago now.

So Jack had had to go to the back page of the clichéd dad texts book. And there he had found the idea of a sports game.

He wasn't that much of a sports fan but he had heard Joey and his son talking about scores of some thing or other over the summer when the family had gathered at BBQs. It still blew Jacks mind that they had spent that summer doing such ordinary, wonderfully plain things… there had been no pressure and it had been easy and he knew it was just what they had all needed at the end of the day.

Jen looked at him with a smile on her face.

"Well, I do imagine that would be quite painful for you, but yes, I think knowing JJ, he is not going to turn down tickets to a game if you offer them to him."

"I just – I do not want him to think I believe taking him to a few sport games and then for pizza is going to solve everything. I know it won't."

"Do you know what, the only thing you are in danger of getting him to think right now is that you are over thinking this," Jen said as she came towards him and took his hands.

The truth was she did not think she had ever seen Jack be as dear as he had been in the past few months. He was gentler than he had been before – just as kooky and silly when they were alone but he was so tender.

Yet the one thing which she did not like to see was that it was as if he had lost so much of his self-confidence.

And it was as if until he had the belief of every member of their family once more, then he was not going to be able to believe in himself. That made her heart go out to him. She remembered the cock sure arrogant young man she had fallen in love with and compared him to the man who stood before her right then.

It would not in any way be right to say he was a shadow of his former self as he had grown so much from the early nineties. She had loved him through the transition. He was altered though, become so much more than who he had been.

The fact remained she did not think she had ever loved him as much as she did then.

Because the one thing that had not changed was how driven he was, how earnest he was in his desire to be a good father to their kids.

And nothing had ever made her fall for him more than that.

"You are over thinking this. JJ loves you. I think he is even admitting that to himself these days." She murmured. "Just be here. And be here for him, that is all he has ever wanted from you."

That was all that any of them had ever wanted. For him to be present in their lives.

She had heard it said once that ninety percent of being a dad was just showing up. She was beginning to think that was summed it up.

"I just want to get it right." he admitted.

"And you will," she reassured him as she cupped his cheeks and kissed him softly. "You will, my love."

X x x

Stephanie Kay Johnson was always so glad to get home these days. It was not that she disliked her job… it was the fact her home life was now all she had ever wanted it to be since she was a little girl.

She had dreamt of a set up like the one she had then with her parents, baby brother… and now she was beginning to trust it.

Her papa was working with her Uncle Bo and Aunt Hope at the PD then when the day was done he came home to his wife and children. That had been her dream for them – for her whole family.

Now it was a wonderful reality.

She set down her bag in the hall way then walked in to the kitchen to find her mother and brother were there.

"Hey," she greeted Joey as she came into her mom's sight, signing her greeting as she said it.

'Hi!'

"How was the first day back at school?" she asked as she kissed her mother's cheek.

Joey shrugged. "Do you remember me saying at the end of the last term that we had to do a summer project?"

"No."

"Nor do I."

Stephanie could not help but laugh.

"Are you telling me you have been back a day and you are already behind? Bugs, that has got to be a record."

"I am doomed."

Stephanie chuckled again but she could not say she was surprised. The last term had been an intense one for her kid brother.

It was no great shock to her that when school had let out he had cut a little lose and forgotten all about it for the summer. He had probably needed the break more than any other kid in his school.

'You'll catch up,' his mother sighed.

Between the kids signing every word the said to each other and her lip reading, the family could communicate just as they would have before thought Stephanie.

"Is that a wish, a promise or a threat?" Joey responded.

'All of the above.'

She knew he had had a rough time but they were beginning to get on an even footing.

It was time to deal with the cards hey had.

Stephanie laughed again...

A small smile appeared on her mother's face and it was soon replaced by a bigger one.

X x x

Trying – actually trying – not to get excited when she knew there was something good on the way was something which had never ever really worked for Kayla.

Even then she was well able to remember the way she had been about Christmas as a kid… a nightmare!

And that was how she felt then.

It was happy. And excited. And as if she was fit to burst.

She had first become aware of it in her office that day.

It had been warm. And so she had put the fan on.

When she had first lost her hearing again she could recall looking at things and trying to imagine what they sounded like.

But over time as she had come to accept things for what they were she had stopped doing that. So when she had been sitting at her desk doing her work and heard the whirring of the fan she knew he was not imagine things. She had sat stunned by the beauty of the sound for a moment before taking a deep breathe.

She had not been sure what to do… to go and find Marcus or to go and find Steve at the PD, she just wasn't sure.

She had been waiting for the pain which she had experienced when her hearing had returned before… so for it to come back so gently was unexpected.

For just then she decided to do nothing.

It had been what she had been waiting for it to happen for so long. If – if it was a trick of her imagination then the last thing in the world which she wanted to do was get any ones hopes up but as the day went on, she had more and more faith that she was right.

She could hear the sound of her mug being put down on her desk after she had had a drink and she could hear the chattering and footsteps of people as they passed her office.

Slowly but surely she felt as if her silent movie was coming to an end.

Marcus, bless him had driven her home as was his routine now. She was sure it was more for Steve's sanity than for herself. But she had to admit, if anything he had been sweeter and more protective over her since the operation.

The more time which they had all spent together the harder it was for her think and recall the time when they had all been so far apart.

It was at home it all fell into place because when she was there and she could hear her children… how could she not believe it?

"Good evening family!"

Kayla felt a shiver go through her and she knew if she was not careful then she was going to burst into tears… and she did not want to do that. This moment should not be about tears.

She swallowed.

"Hey papa!"

"Hi pop."

Kayla had been careful not to look at the lips of the kids when they had greeted their father and yet she had understood every word.

It was so much clear than the fan had been that morning and to her ears the sounds of their voices was like the sweetest music.

"Did you guys have a good day?"

"I did but I think Joey is already wishing it was summer again."

"Aren't we all, little sweetness?"

Steve sighed as he put his arms about Kayla.

"How about you, baby? Did you have a good day?"

Once more Kayla felt a shiver go through her. Unable to stop she turned into her Steve.

She had missed him. She had missed the sound of his voice so, so much. She had not known how much she had missed it.

"Well, this is a welcome home I could get used to, sweetness."

Hearing the old endearment was almost more than she could bear…

And it only made her hold him tighter.

"Gross," Joey commented.

And that was when Kayla gave herself away to Steve. Because she was not even facing Joey and she laughed.

He was right they were his parents and they were in their fifties. It was so gross and she loved it so much.

Steve's hold on her shifted. He pulled back so he could look in her face holding on to her lovingly as he did so. His fingers brushed on her cheek as their eyes met, looking for an understanding. He found it.

For the first time in months he could use words to communicate with her and yet they didn't need them.

Because he knew as well as she did that there had been a huge change in her.

"Can you pass me that glass?" Joey asked, unaware of what was passing between his parents.

Almost as if to prove the point, Kayla turned and did what her son had asked.

"Thank you," he said as he took a bottle of coke of the kitchen counter.

"Oh my god!" Stephanie said as she clocked on to what was happening in a way her brother had not.

Till then.

Joey's eyes went wide.

"Can – I mean – did you?"

Kayla nodded, the biggest smile he had ever seen in his life on her face.

It was only then that the four of them seemed to break out the moment, joy pouring out of all of them. Steph cried out and Joey clapped and Steve held on to his sweetheart, unable to let go even if he had wanted too.

They had to get her checked out and they had to be sure it was all upwards from here… but right then they just had to be together.

And the fact they were, Steve believed was a miracle.

X x x

Stephanie and Joey were still with their mother by the time their Uncle Marcus came running into the apartment, having been called over by Steve.

"Oh Kayla… this is the best news!" he said as he kissed her on top of her head.

But then she knew that.

Ever since he had performed the operation he had been waiting for the day that he had got this call.

"Uncle Marcus, is mom – I mean –"

Joey was not even sure what he was trying to say then – he had just had to open his mouth and let the words fall out.

"It's ok buddy," his dad said as he crossed the room and put his arm about him.

Steve had no doubt there were simply too many thoughts and feelings going about in his sons mind for him to process them all right then.

"Little Homey, it is going to be ok but before I can say too much I need to examine your moms ear."

Joey nodded as Marcus took Kayla to one side… and when they returned, it was with good news.

X x x

It had been a long day. And by rights, they should be too tired to keep their eyes open let alone anything else but the moment they had got into the bed room, Steve was very aware that the last thing Kayla wanted to do now was sleep.

"You can really hear me?" he said as he stepped closer to her.

She nodded. Marcus had not given them a time line for when she was going to get her voice back but for now this was enough.

This was everything.

Kayla nodded, the smile staying on her face as she covered his hands with her smaller ones so as to keep them on her cheeks.

It was everything.

And as soon as she had nodded – now that the two of them were alone, he knew just what he wanted to tell her. The same thing that he always wanted to tell her, whether they were eating breakfast together or just walking down the street or spending the evening in with the kids.

It was always just the same three little words.

"I love you."

That was the bottom line. That was his bottom line and it had been ever since the day she had found him.

Before Kayla – well, Steve did not like to think of what he had been like before her. He had been a mess.

He had been so angry with the world and he had thought that if he kept his guard up and snapped at people then they were all going to leave him be in the end.

He had once said that people thought of him as a stray dog named Patch.

That was the truth. That was what he had been but from the moment she had found him – that had stopped being the case.

He had had a home and he had someone who cared for him. He had fought it for as long as he could but it had not taken long for him to fall in love and want to care her either.

Right then as he stood in the bed room which the two of them shared, with her in his arms, he knew why.

It was because she was truly the most wonderful women alive. And he would never leave her ever again.

"I love you, I love you, I love, you, I love…" he only broke off his string of processions because she had put his lips on his.

And as much as he wanted to tell her the way he felt for her, he was not so strong as to resist her when she had him right where she wanted him.

Yet he so wanted her to hear these words…

"I swear to you, sweetness, I am going to tell you I love you every day for the rest of our lives. Because there is not going to be a day I don't feel that way till the breath leaves my body," he said as her fingers begun to pull at the bottom of his shirt.

It did not take much more than that for him to get the hint.

Steve and Kayla didn't sleep until the sun began to rise.

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