Chapter 23

Rossi sat beside his friend's bed with legs outstretched, and arms folded across his chest. He continued staring at his friend, watching the man's chest rise and fall. Although he would never openly admit it to anybody, he was worried; worried and even scared. Worried because since coming out of retirement and back to the BAU, he had seen Aaron get injured many times, and always able to come back from his injuries. But scared this time he might not. He had never seen Hotch as terrified as he had been during the examination when the doctor touched him. The man had never been as afraid as when he walked into Hotch's room and observed his friend in such a frenzied state of distress. Aaron, I've seen you come back from injuries, many of which should have killed you. Here's hoping you have some fight left in you. Jack needs you. The team needs you. I need you. You need to fight, but you will not be alone. We will be right by your side. I promise you.

"Dave…" a pained voice brought Rossi out of his reverie.

Rossi uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, hands folded in his lap, arms on his thighs. He stared at Hotch who was staring at him through sad eyes.

"Aaron…how are you? Honestly?"

"I'm…okay."

The older man chuckled. He expected Hotch would downplay how he was so people wouldn't worry about him. That was how Hotch was; had always been. But if Rossi was going to help him, pretending nothing happened had to stop.

"Aaron, that's bullshit and you know it. Those who don't know you might accept that. But you're talking to me. I understand you better than anybody. Now, wanna try again?"

Hotch swallowed hard and his eyes became bright with unshed tears. His lower lip trembled as he studied the older man's face.

"I…I'm scared, Dave. I'm so scared. I'm scared of everything and every man who tries to touch me. Except you." A small smile tugged at the young man's lips as it did Rossi's. "I can't explain it, but I'm not afraid of you or your touch." He smirked. "Go figure."

Rossi reached out a hand and gripped Hotch's hand in his and squeezed. He swallowed the growing lump in his throat.

"Perhaps you're not afraid of me because we've been so close over the years that you accept me as a source of comfort rather than of pain."

"I guess so." Hotch's voice was as devoid of emotion as were his eyes. Rossi could detect a sadness there and it pained him.

"Whatever the reason, I'm just grateful you're not afraid of me, Aaron." Rossi blinked trying to keep his own tears at bay. Aaron needed him and he was going to be there for him. It was then Hotch looked at his friend with pleading in his eyes.

"I don't want to be scared all the time anymore, Dave. I don't want Jack to see me this way. Afraid of everything and everybody. I don't want him to grow up with a father who jumps in terror at every sound."

"And you won't be. You're gonna get past this, Aaron, and I'm gonna be with you every step of the way even if you don't want my help. I don't care. I'm willing to even jeopardize our friendship, if it comes to that, to help you get past this and regain your footing."

Hotch smiled as much as his bruised and swollen lips would allow.

"I trust you."

"Good. Before we talk, I have three things I need to say. One, I'll speak with the doctor, and whenever he needs to examine you, I'll make sure I'll be here. At least until you're comfortable enough that I don't need to be. Okay?"

"What else?"

"I'll speak with Jessica, and make sure if Jack is gonna visit, that it's not on a day you have to deal with tests and doctors. After what happened earlier, we don't want to frighten him."

Hotch didn't speak but managed to nod his agreement. He understood his son would have been frightened if he had heard his father scream in terror, and spotted men with guns drawn coming into his father's room.

"What's the last one?"

Rossi licked his suddenly dry lips. He realized this last item would not be well received.

"Aaron, you need to speak with somebody." He waited for the explosion.

"I don't need a shrink, Dave. I'm not crazy."

"I never said you were. Aaron, you've suffered a severe trauma, and denying it happened is not good for you, and especially not good for Jack. Keeping it buried it's gonna fester until you explode in anger or violence."

"I can keep control of myself."

Rossi shrugged. "Can you? Look how you reacted to the doctor trying to examine you earlier. You call that keeping control? Aaron, suppose Jack had been here when you had your outburst. You don't think he'd have been terrified? And what if he had seen people holding you down on the bed? And a doctor standing over you holding a needle. And men with guns drawn coming into your room. He'd be more than upset fearing you were being hurt. Do you want that for him?"

"You know I don't."

"And what if you someday lose control, and lash out in terror or fear with Jack in the house? You could hurt him unintentionally. And although you'd be sorry afterward, by then the damage is done. Jack might even end up afraid of you. Is that what you want?"

Rossi didn't want to pull out what he considered the 'big guns,' but it had to be done.

Hotch turned his face away. "Of course not."

The thought of his sweet, gentle little boy fearing him broke his heart. He turned back to Rossi, tears threatening to fall.

"Does it have to be a shrink? Can't I just speak with you?"

"I'm not a professional, Aaron. You need somebody who understands the trauma you've suffered. Somebody who can help you work through it." He smiled. "And that's not me. You need more help than I can give you."

"And if I refuse?"

Rossi let out a deep breath. "Then I'll pull every string I can to make sure you never see Jack again until you get help." He hated using Jack as a threat. But it was the only way to get his friend to agree with what had to be done.

Hotch's eyes narrowed, and he pulled his hand from Rossi's.

"You threaten to take my son from me, Dave? You're supposed to be my friend!"

"I am your friend. That's why I'm telling I will do everything I can to keep that little boy safe, even if from you. I will not take the risk you might hurt him even if you don't intend to, Aaron. I don't like it, but I'll do it. I told you, I'm willing to jeopardize our friendship to help you recover. Now, will you talk to a therapist?"

Hotch let out a deep breath and licked his lips.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Nope." Rossi allowed a smirk to appear.

"Fine. I'll speak with someone. Satisfied?"

"Yep."

"Dave Rossi, you are a bastard! A conniving, self-serving bastard!" Regardless, there was a lack of anger in his voice which told Rossi his friend wasn't angry, as much as frustrated at being cornered.

"Yep. And you love me because of it," he said jokingly. He reached out again and took Hotch's hand in his. "Aaron, one more thing. I don't want to be mean, but if you try to weasel out of your promise, I will do what I told you."

Prentiss was busy parking the Suburban outside a small red brick house in the suburbs outside Quantico. The ride from the FBI building to Agatha Pearson's house had not been a long one. Reid had wanted to call the woman before they showed up at her door, but Prentiss didn't. Her reason being if the woman had something to hide, it would give her time to either run, or come up with lies. So, the ride was mostly in silence.

(Flashback):

Prentiss glanced at Reid who had been looking out the front passenger side window since they had left the building.

"Reid? You all right?" There was no response. "REID!"

"Huh?" the younger agent uttered at hearing his name spoken. "You say something, Emily?"

"I asked if you were all right. You've been a bit preoccupied since we left the BAU."

Reid shrugged and studied his hands which were in his lap. "I'm sorry. I've been thinking about Hotch."

Emily glanced at him again. "He's going to be all right in time."

"Physically. But what about mentally?"

"Mentally he will recover. It'll take longer than his physical injuries, but he'll get through it. And we'll help him the entire way."

He hung his head. "Normally I would agree with you. But I can't shake this fear that this time he won't."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you any idea what the statistics say about men recovering fully from a violent sexual attack like Hotch suffered?"

"Don't, Reid," Emily interrupted. She really didn't want to listen to any statistics. "No statistics. Not now. Please."

"All I'm saying is that our Hotch may be gone forever. And if he does come back, we have to face the possibility he may not be the same man anymore. That's all I'm saying," he explained looking at her profile.

Prentiss' eyes shifted to his face. She didn't want to admit she had thought the same thing herself since Hotch had been found. But she refused to believe their Hotch was gone forever. She decided to change the conversation.

"Reid, do you think this Jason Hemminger could be the other man who's DNA we found in and on Hotch?"

Reid shrugged. "Anything's possible I suppose. But something tells me he isn't."

Emily arched her eyebrows upward. "What makes you say that?"

"It doesn't make sense."

"How so?"

"If Hemminger wanted revenge on Hotch for rejecting his application to the BAU, why not kill him, and make it look like it happened in the line of duty? Nobody would question the death of an FBI agent in the line of duty. Why go through with sexually attacking Hotch. And then strangling him when a bullet to the head would be more efficient?"

This time Prentiss shrugged as she turned a corner.

"Maybe he wanted Hotch to suffer first before he killed him. And by assaulting and strangling him, figures it will be blamed on the Rohypnol rapist."

"As I said, anything is possible. But Hemminger is an agent. He is aware once we found out he knew Hotch that we would look into his background. He would simply kill Hotch and then fade back into the background as they say. He wouldn't hang around by making himself available to us like this."

Prentiss pulled up outside the brick building. Turning off the engine, she faced Reid.

"Then what is his game? All I have is a feeling, Reid. That isn't much to go on here."

"We've had less. But as Rossi said, if it's enough to bother you, then we need to look into it." He let out a deep breath and leaned back against the seat. "But I can promise you one thing."

"What's that?"

"If he's involved in hurting Hotch, and is trying to hurt him again…when we catch him, I'm going to kill him." The expression on his face told Emily he was serious. Reid had never threatened to harm to a single soul since she'd been working with him.

"Pick a number and stand in line," she added solemnly. "C'mon, let's talk with Agatha Pearson."

(End of Flashback)

Prentiss and Reid climbed out of their vehicle, and trudged up the steps until they stood outside the door. Prentiss pressed the doorbell and they waited.

Once he had calmed down, Hotch allowed himself to study his friend's face. He saw only compassion and concern.

"Dave, why are you still here? I've been examined by the doctor, so there's no reason for you to stay."

"I was…still am worried about you."

"Why?"

"Humor an old man for once," Rossi said with a chuckle.

"But shouldn't you be helping find whoever…whoever…" Hotch tightened his grip on Rossi's hand. He chewed his lower lip as the words stuck in his throat.

"Raped and sodomized you?" Rossi finished for him. "Aaron, what was done to you was horrendous, and nobody male or female, should have to endure what you did."

"Then why did it have to happen to me?" He looked away.

"Because you were targeted by the Rohypnol rapist."

Hotch turned back again.

"What?" he asked, confused. "When?"

"Best as we can figure, while we were in Milwaukee. The Rohypnol rapist saw you and decided he wanted you. That was why the assaults stopped suddenly. He had targeted you as his next victim and watched you. But that before he could make his move, we left and returned to Quantico. We also suspect he followed you back here with a plan to lure you into the open where he could get his hands on you."

Hotch's eyes showed his now total confusion. "But he didn't lure me anywhere, Dave. I was in the office until Darryl called, and I went straight to the bar in my car. I didn't meet anybody on the way. There is no way he could have gotten to me."

"Aaron, what was the last thing you remember happening before you were attacked? Last time I saw you that night, you were working in your office."

"I remember telling you goodnight before trying to finish my paperwork. It was late. The telephone rang and I answered it. I remember being surprised by the voice of somebody I hadn't heard from in years."

"Darryl Wheaton."

"That's right. How did you…?"

"You mentioned his name a few days ago. What else do you remember?" Rossi interjected.

"I asked him how he was doing and he said he was fine. We talked for a few minutes. Then he said because of what we do, he figured I could help him. So I offered to meet with him. He suggested the Serendipity as it was near our office."

"Did he ever tell you with what he needed help?"

Hotch shook his head.

"How about once you arrived at the Serendipity?"

"No. We updated each other on what had been happening in our lives. But after awhile I began to suspect he was stalling for some reason."

"This is very important. Did you, at any time, leave him alone in the bar?"

Hotch scrunched up his face as he dug into the deep recesses of his mind.

"I had earlier missed speaking with Jack because he was taking a bath. So while Darryl and I were talking, Jack called back after his bath. I stepped outside because of the noise, to take the call so I could speak with him and say goodnight."

"Okay. When the call from Jack came, were you drinking or had you ordered a drink?"

"I was drinking although I don't remember what. I asked Darryl to keep an eye on my drink. Then I went outside to speak with Jack. When I returned, he told me nobody had touched my drink. We talked a bit longer and I finished my drink. But then, a few minutes later, I began to feel strange."

"Strange how?"

"Dizzy. Disoriented. Sleepy. After that, nothing. Next thing I knew I was in a hospital."

Rossi withdrew his hand from Hotch's shoulder, and stroked his goatee. He mulled over what his friend had told him.

"Dave, is that how I got drugged? Was it in my drink?"

"Yes it was, my friend. I just wanted to confirm what we saw on the surveillance tape we got from the bar. We believe soon after you walked outside to answer the call from Jack, the bartender poured a vial of Rohypnol into your drink."

"So you're telling me I was drugged by the bartender? But why? You still haven't told me why. And where's Darryl? Is he all right?" Aaron was beginning to panic as he was being overwhelmed with information. "Tell me Darryl is okay. Why hasn't he been here to visit me? Was he drugged as well?"

Rossi rested his free hand on Hotch's shoulder. The time had come for the truth. The older man steered himself for Hotch's possible meltdown.

"Aaron, I need to tell you something that is gonna be difficult, maybe painful, for you to hear," he began.