The Legend of Zelda Time Loops: Some Things Old, Some Things New
Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda. Nor do I own a copy of Hyrule Warriors, yet. The first will probably never happen, but the second is only a matter of time. Bwahahaha!
14.1 (DrTempo - Edits by LordCirce)
The Purification of Vaati and Ganondorf
Mamoru and Usagi, throughout all the Loops, had faced all manners of monsters, evils, and otherwise crazy things. It was usually Usagi who did the heavy fighting, hence why Mamoru enjoyed being the hero for a change.
However, the odds were not in his favor. He was facing two of the villains of this loop, the Gerudo King Ganondorf and the Evil Magus Vaati. The former was chuckling as he crossed blades with Mamoru.
"Well, well...this is a change. You are not the same hero I've fought before...and the Princess isn't the same either. Time seems to have become like a broken record, the same events playing out again and again... but not the same each time. I did not believe that young wizard with the lightning bolt scar, but it seems he was right. I will have to thank him should we meet again."
Mamoru gaped. Ganondorf was apparently Looping, and had met Harry. This was bad. VERY bad. A villain like Ganondorf Looping was asking for trouble. Off to the side, Usagi quickly broke out of the prison she was in, and Mamoru smirked when he saw this. Unluckily for him, Vaati took the chance to attack Mamoru with a pair of shadowy orbs, knocking him down.
As Mamoru shook off the magical assault, Usagi yelled, "Stun them! I need to try something!" Mamoru nodded, and quickly fired two Light Arrows, catching both villains in the chest. They each reeled backwards, but visibly threw off the power of the arrows. However, it gave Usagi enough time to call upon the Silver Crystal. What she did next, however, was not what Mamoru was expecting.
"MOON HEALING ESCALATION!"
The blast engulfed the two tyrants, encasing them in pure light. Mamoru blinked as he saw a shadow fly out of them, one which looked oddly like Ganondorf.
Usagi ran over to Mamoru, helping him to balance as the adrenaline of the fight wore off. She began to whisper into his ear, "I could feel something influencing them...like a curse. I will exchange notes with Harry about this when we next see him if this doesn't work." Mamoru nodded, remembering how he'd been a victim of a control curse in baseline.
Ganondorf recovered first, and began to laugh...but this laugh was joyful compared to his previous malevolence. Vaati slowly climbed to his feet, looking somewhat dazed, and then walked over to Usagi and Mamoru.
"Thank you, thank you." The purple-robed mage smiled and laughed. "I can think for myself again."
The Gerudo King eventually composed himself, and joined the three others. He bowed, formally, to the both of them. "Thank you. At last, the voice in my head...the one crying for blood against Hylia...the one desiring destruction...has faded. For the first time in ages, my thoughts are fully my own."
Usagi nodded. "How did this curse come to be laid upon you? And how did you two come to share it? I know some of the basics, but..."
Ganondorf nodded. "I believe a story is in order. Let me tell you of the Demon King Demise..."
As the tale was told, the lovers realized Ganondorf, Vaati, and others like them had been egged on, so to speak, in their actions. They were still to blame, but Usagi could forgive them.
In turn, Usagi gave them a summary of the Loops. Ganondorf had heard it before, but having it corroborated was a bonus.
Finishing up her explanation, she sighed. "Now, the curse I purged from you is powerful, and, if it is as you say and the curse exists each Loop, you will likely wake under its thrall in the future. However, now that its power has been broken on you once, you should be capable of breaking it again."
Ganondorf and Vaati nodded, with the former saying, "I see...that explains much. If you are right, then it would likely be best that I continue to act the part of a villain, lest the curse of Demise's Hatred seek out a new host. Well, if fate needs me to play the villain, then I shall. The hero and princess I know have always proven a challenge...they are probably 'Awake' too...that would explain why they tend to act different then what I remember. Still, what to do with what is apparently eternity...I suppose I can see what the worlds will offer, and if a King of Evil is needed, I will play the role. I am...accustomed to it. But I will also enjoy the finer things in life."
Vaati sneered. "It matters little to me, as I haven't experienced these 'Loops' that you speak of. Still, I will enjoy this life while I can."
Usagi frowned at him. "So, you remain unrepentant?"
Vaati shrugged. "For now, I will play by your rules. That should be enough for you."
Ganondorf cuffed him lightly on the head, and then turned back to Usagi. "I personally surrender to you for this Loop. If we meet in the future, we may battle, but for now I will keep my peace."
Mamoru chuckled. "Only you could redeem Ganondorf, Usagi."
Usagi smiled at him while Ganondorf huffed slightly. "His actions weren't totally his fault. I can forgive him a little." She then turned to the two villains and said, "Go...and cause trouble no more. I decree it as Princess of Hyrule." With a whisper, she added, "But if you feel you have to...not for the fun of it, but because you have to, then be evil, if evil is needed. Still, try and keep it clean."
14.2 (generiguy)
If there was one thing that made the loops tolerable, it was the dungeon items.
Most of the Hylian loopers that actually bothered to open chests eventually developed a collection of them. Alone, even the baseline items were incredibly useful and allowed the mobility normally associated with magical beings with minimal effort. They allowed puzzles to be solved, switches to be pressed, and the environment to be altered in ways normally reserved for bulldozers, which for some reason were never seen in even the most technologically advanced loops.
But the real reason items were useful was in combination.
Take the Gust Bellows, one of the more useless offensive items. Yet if paired with the Gust Jar, which grows stronger with more air sucked into it, it can produce an unstoppable gale from a tiny source. When paired with the Flame Rod, it creates a simple combustion engine that runs on magic power, something that Hyrule has an ample supply of. The Gust Bellows upgrades the Bug Net to have a range of 10 feet for sucking in bugs, gives the Beetle a massive speed boost when attached to the back, creates a low-range Ender Pearl cannon when combined with the Pinwheel (which eventually proved to be more useful for launching Cuccos), and makes a replacement broomstick in a pinch when used with the Deku Leaf.
And then there were some combinations of items that were less creative. The Iron Boots left the wearer vulnerable to the very same shock waves that made the Skull Hammer so fearsome. The Hookshot and the Boomerang didn't really work together, no matter how much duct tape was used, and the Sand Rod was mostly useless when combined with any item that hovered in the completely sandless sky.
And then there were the combinations that made no sense whatsoever, yet still managed to be useful in one or two or ten million cases.
Like combining bombs with more bombs.
"You blew up the moon, hero."
"It was in the way!"
14.3 (Crisis)
"Team seven: Uzumaki Naruto," Iruka called out.
'Alright,' Naruto grinned to himself, 'time to see who I'm teamed with this Loop!' He was fairly excited since there were a bunch of classmates this time he didn't recognize replacing familiar faces. And no sign of Sakura, Awake or otherwise.
"Aburame Agitha," Iruka continued.
Naruto stiffened in his seat. He recognized that name... 'Aw, Kami no. Not a team with the crazy bug girl!' he prayed. Well, at least whoever else he got couldn't be worse.
"Uchiha Tingle," Iruka obliviously reminded Naruto to never tempt fate like that.
'Well, there goes my sanity for this Loop,' Naruto despaired, wondering how he'd missed the fairy wannabe until now. His mind must have mercifully blocked out the existence of one of the few people in the multiverse that made Lee and Gai seem calm and rational by comparison. 'Okay, look on the bright side... Try to think of a bright side...'
"Jonin sensei: Hatake Impa."
Naruto blinked. 'That'll do.'
14.4
Midna stared blankly at Link. "I'm supposed to what?"
"You're supposed to take this bow, and then you use your key necklace to help me unlock a tower in the Temple of Seasons."
Midna shifted slightly in her too-big robe, while staring at the reddish pink bow. "And what, I'm supposed to wear that? In my hair?" Sliding out over her shoulder, her hair formed into a hand and wiggled a finger at Link.
He blinked, then frowned. "Actually, Rosa usually just wears it on top of her robe." He stared down at it in his hands. "Actually, I never actually thought about how it stays on. It doesn't have a pin or anything." Link was snapped out of his musings by Midna's hair grabbing him and dragging him along.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Come on, it is way too hot here for me. You said it was winter in the Hollow Drum or whatever, right?"
Midna sneezed. "Wha is ub with all theez flo'ers? Wasn' it fawl?" She dug her heels into Link's side as he loped along in wolf form towards the Moblin King's fortress, jumping over a pit as he went.
'I told you, the season's are all messed up. And since when are you allergic to flowers?', he asked telepathically.
"Since shut ub, dat's when." Midna sniffled miserably.
Link let out a bark of laughter as he ducked between two trees and felt the temperature suddenly rise as they ran into a patch of summer. On his back, Midna let out a sigh of relief as the sickly sweet scent of the flowers left her nose.
'Ready to throw some bombs at the Moblin King?'
Midna tossed her head back. "I suppose."
14.5
Link walked around the corner in the Spool Swamp. Just up ahead should be where Moosh was being harassed by Moblins after his sweet banana. Link had a master plan this Loop to usurp the Moblin King and get the Moblins to follow his banner to fight Onox. He would just have to...
Link ducked to avoid a flying Moblin which crashed into the wall behind him. Peering around the corner, Link was greeted by an odd sight. A black and white version of Moosh was kicking the Moblins all across the clearing, moving with far more grace that one would expect from such a...large...creature. Finally, as the last Moblins ran off, Moosh turned and held up a sign.
'I am just a normal panda.'
It then paused, before pulling the sign back and pulling out another.
'I am just a normal winged panda.'
Link slowly nodded. "Ok...um, do you think you can help me cross a few ditches?"
The winged bear pulled out a third sign.
'Got any Spring Bananas?'
14.6
"Why don't you just make your own bottles? Or buy them in bulk from a store, I mean, it's not like glass bottles are all that rare." Hermione frowned as she watched as Link celebrated finding a Bottle in Hagrid's pantry, which Hagrid allowed him to take.
Link turned back, reaching into his pouch as he did so. "It isn't just any old glass bottles I go for. It's Glass Bottles. If you recall, I haven't tried to take Snape's supply of bottles."
Hermione frowned, picking up on the capitalization. "Ok, I'll bite. What makes 'Glass Bottles' so special?"
Link grinned. "I'm glad you asked." He pulled his hand out of his pouch to reveal another bottle and a long stick. "Now, without casting any special spells on this bottle, do you think you could store this stick in it?"
Hermione frowned, examining the stick and bottle closely, before she tried poking the stick into the bottle. It slid in about halfway before the end of the stick hit the bottom of the bottle. After several different attempts, Hermione tossed the stick and bottle back. "Nope. Not without some sort of trick, at least."
Link nodded. "Right. Most bottles are just that, bottles. They can hold stuff, but not in the same way Glass Bottles do. Watch." Link took the Glass Bottle he had gotten from Hagrid, and swiped it across the stick. Watching closely, Hermione blinked as the stick seemed to wiggle, before swirling into the bottle. With a flourish, Link capped the bottle and held it up, revealing a shrunken stick inside the Bottle.
Hermione frowned. "So it's enchanted then." Before Link could answer, she pulled out her wand and started casting diagnostic spells on the bottle.
Link rolled his eyes and set the bottle on the table. "Not quite. My best theory at the moment is that they are Fairy Made, which gives them an odd relationship with space and time. Navi claims that she has never heard of such a thing, but she started giggling right afterwards, so I'm not sure I trust that answer. In any case, I haven't figured out the secret behind it yet, so I am stuck with just tracking them down when I find them."
Harry, who had been leaning back on the sofa, sat up at the tone in Link's voice. "Hmm, you haven't figured it out, bu~u~ut, you think someone has?"
Link scowled. "Either Zelda is better at finding and collecting bottles than I am, or she figured out how to make her own. She can literally pull out a bottle at any time. Malon's started doing it too. I just know they've figured out the secret and are keeping it to themselves."
Hermione broke in. "If these are Fairy Made, as in the Fairies of Hyrule, then how did one end up in Hagrid's cabin?"
Link shrugged. "Stockers, maybe?"
Everyone except Link and Hermione winced.
"Stockers? Stockers?! You mean the little creatures that, for no discernible reason to magic or science, have access to items from across the Loops, and will just randomly hide them in chests and closets and hairdos? Those stockers?"
Link nodded tentatively, as Hermione sat back and started grumbling, savagely stabbing at one of Hagrid's rock cakes, causing chips to fly through the air. Link turned and leaned over to Ron, who was half-ducked behind one of Hagrid's serving plates.
"Hairdos?"
Ron glanced between Link and Hermione, before he took a deep breath and reached across the table, pulling something out of Hermione's bushy hair. Hermione looked up, eyes flashing, as Ron tossed the item to Link and bolted for the door, Hermione chasing close behind him.
Link glanced down, and used some of the tricks he had picked up to identify the item. "A blacksmith's rattle of smiting?" Huh, weird.
14.7 (barryc100588)
Link came back from playing the Song of Storms to Guru-Guru as a kid, causing the well to drain. It was then that Link had a thought.
"Where did the Song of Storms come from? I mean, in Termina, Flat composed it, but here, he and Sharp worked together to compose the Sun's Song. Guru-Guru says he learned it from me, and I learned it from him so I could teach it to him in the past so he could teach it to me so I could teach it to him- Agh, my brain hurts."
Navi sighed.
"I guess that's just one of the mysteries that will never be solved, Link."
14.8 (Masterweaver)
"Uh Link?"
"Yeah Midna?"
"Are you juggling five swords in some juvenile attempt to impress me?"
"No, actually, I find the challenge of juggling bladed weapons to be worthwhile, as it helps me exercise my awareness and dexterity as well as my forearm strength. I don't think I can go up to six for a few loops, though..."
14.9 (masterofgames)
Navi yawned as she awoke, in both meanings of the word. Glancing around, the world was a blur around her. "Ugh, damn you for getting me addicted to coffee, Link..." she groaned as she sat up and stretched, letting her loop memories guide her as she almost drunkenly hovered out of bed, pulling a bottle of what most fairies she had shown it to were referring to as 'The Black Potion' out of her subspace pocket. A long, long gulp later, the world slowly started to come into focus.
It wasn't long before Navi's rebooting brain started to notice things a bit odd. Two came to mind rather quickly, as she stared at the bottle of coffee in her hand. 'Huh... Am I wearing nail polish? I usually can't tell, what with the glowing and all... and since when did I have a bottle this small? I can lift it one handed...'
Nearly a full minute later, her eyes shot wide open as her brain managed to process her thoughts, and was nearly instantly working at top performance. Only the mystical properties of the bottle kept it from shattering as it fell from her grasp, forgotten as she rocketed outside to the stream.
Her reflection revealed many things. First, she could actually see herself. Usually she was glowing so brightly, like all other fairies, that any attempt to take in her own appearance only resulted in eye strain. But now? She could finally see what she looked like! Her facial features were sharp, and slightly otherworldly, striking blue eyes just a bit larger in scale than any other major Hylian race she had ever seen, and ears shorter than Link's, but somehow pointier. Also of note was her long blue hair, lighter than her eyes, if barely, and seemingly swaying in a breeze that did not exist, almost as if unsure whether it wished to acknowledge gravity as a thing. Her body was clad in what seemed to be a cross between a dark blue Zora tunic, and a Shiekah bodysuit, wrapped tightly around her. A tied green cloth belt held it all closed, and if one looked closely, she was covered in half hidden pockets and pouches. Twin shortswords were tucked inside the belt, using it as a makeshift sheath.
All that was only secondary in her eyes however, as trembling hands inspected her face, and lifted small leaves and acorns around her to eye level to inspect.
She could hardly dare to believe it! It was her single greatest wish! The one she had never told anyone! And she could tell that with her fairy magic, it would always be hers forever! Her wings were gone, but who cared!? She used magic more to fly anyway! Eyes filling with unshed tears of joy, a manic grin slowly spread across her face as it sunk in, and a moment later, both fists were thrust into the air in victory.
"I'm TALL!" she whooped.
"Yeah yeah, rub it in..." a male green fairy muttered from the window, back inside the hut.
14.10
Link groaned as he pulled himself free of the bookcase. He wasn't quite sure if he had Awoken prior to hitting the case, or if it had happened directly after. He did know, however, that he was nowhere near as beaten up as he should be from that sort of impact.
He flexed his hand. There was no link to the Triforce, so he was out of Hyrule. However, on closer observation, there was some form of link with a force not unlike the Triforce, but it was diluted.
*Flash*
Knowledge rushed into his mind across the link, feeling both like and unlike normal Loop memories. Apparently, he was Servant Archer, summoned in the Holy Grail War, fighting to claim the prize of a single, unlimited wish from the Holy Grail.
'Meh, the Triforce is better.' Link chuckled to himself as he brushed himself off. Still, that gave him enough info to work with. This Loop sounded familiar, he would have to check his PADD later.
The door burst open, and a pigtailed girl rushed into the room. Words rushed into Link's mind, and his mouth moved almost of its own accord.
"I am Servant Archer. I say unto you, are you my Master?"
Rin Tohsaka blinked, then nodded.
Link hummed to himself has he floated along in this nifty Astral Form behind his master and her two new companions. So far, he had had one battle, and it had been somewhat lackluster. He had fought the Lancer of this war, and while Lancer was certainly tough, faster than Ghirahim and just as strong, he just wasn't able to stand up to Link. Apparently, being summoned as a Servant gave you a boost in skills from your personal Legend. While no-one on this planet knew of Link's story, he was essentially The Hero for his entire world, with a legend that stretched across centuries. He had been handing Lancer his arse, right up until Lancer had broken off to stab the redhead that was now walking next to Rin. Shirou Emiya, a name that was really ringing bells, but Link hadn't found a point to pull out his PADD in private yet to look him up (it didn't work when he was Astralized, unfortunately).
"GRAAAAAAGGGHHHH!"
A monstrous roar echoed through the streets around them, just as a massive form landed in front of them. It was...big. A mountain of stone-hard muscle, carrying a tiny white-haired girl on its shoulder. The girl giggled.
"Sorry, onii-san. You are going to have to die now." With that, she leapt down, landing lightly on the ground, and the massive man charged.
The girl in blue, Saber, that Shirou had apparently summoned to fight Lancer, leapt to intercept, managing to deflect the blow into the street.
"Archer! Get out here!" Rin stumbled back, pulling Shirou back as well. Shirou was looking rather like he had been hit over the head by a two-by-four, utterly confused with what was happening.
Link grinned. This looked like the perfect opportunity to try out a new equipment combination he had been working on. He turned solid, just in front of Rin and Shirou, and quickly pulled a mask out of his Subspace Pocket. It was blue, with some yellow-stripes on the top. The Machamp Mask. He had gotten it a couple of Loops ago, in that bizarre Pokemon variant, with...The Happy Mask Professor. Link stifled a shiver and pulled the mask on, feeling the sheer strength of the Machamp flowing into him.
Next, he pulled four blades from his Pocket. Each of them was a Biggoron Sword, almost as long as he was tall, though only one of them was a natural, unmodified Biggoron Sword. One of them was the Master Biggoron Sword, infused with holy power. Another was the Tyrant Biggoron Sword, from a flip-flopped variant where he had been a warrior fighting to revive Demise (he had heel-face turned at the end, the look on Demise's face had been so~o satisfying). It was infused with the dark power of the Interlopers. The fourth blade was crafted using the same techniques that made the Mirror Shield, making it the Mirror Biggoron Sword. He swung them through some experimental swings, then leapt forward into battle.
Immediately, it became clear that, even with the strength of a Machamp behind him, Berserker was tougher, stronger, and even quicker than he was. Luckily, it was also obvious that Link was simply more skilled. Each of Berserker's devastating blows was turned aside to smash some poor defenseless asphalt, rather than Link or Saber's body. Speaking of Saber, she was making good use of Link's ability to deflect Berserker's blows, darting in and cutting apart Berserker's skin before darting out. Unfortunately, it all seemed to be cosmetic damage at this point, aside from a powerful cut that had almost decapitated him.
"You can't beat Hercules! He's the strongest ever!"
Hercules. Greek legend and one of the greatest and strongest heroes to ever exist. At least in this world. And, thanks to the mysterious source of knowledge Link had, he knew a bit about Hercules' powers. Specifically, the power of his 12 Labors. Apparently, he could be killed 11 times before it would actually stick. Great.
Link grinned. If there was one thing he had perfected, it was wearing down seemingly unbeatable bosses. Stepping into one of Berserker's swings, he brought the Mirror Biggoron Sword up and pushed some power into it. It flared, and the massive stone blade was knocked sharply backwards. Berserker stumbled, just barely, but it was enough time for Link to step forward and bring his Master Biggoron Sword down.
"MAAAA!"
The shockwave of the attack knocked Rin and Shirou over behind him, and sent Berserker stumbling back a couple of steps, a massive gash torn across his chest. That had to have taken at least one of his lives. Still, in an instant, Berserker was back, lashing out strong as ever, and Link had to backpedal a bit to properly block the massive stone slab.
"Get them Hercules!" The little girl shouted from the sidelines. Link grit his teeth as Berserker seemed to speed up even more, his blade smashing into Link's guard, and actually driving through to slash his shoulder. It was only his reflexes at pulling away that kept it from ripping his arm off, enhanced musculature or not.
'Right, and that ends playing fair.' Link pulled on his inventory again. Four metal gloves appeared on each hand, a pair of winged boots on his feet, and a cape made of feathers on his back. He twisted, bringing one of his blade around to clash against Berserker's stone sword, and was pleased to note that his strength was now only slightly less than Berserker's. 'Perfect.'
Ilya gaped at the scene. Berserker had just been breaking through that strange lizard-man Archer's defenses when the Archer had revealed some armor and a cape and vanished in a blur of speed. Archer had almost immediately appeared behind Berserker, and proceeded to tear him open with several devastating sword strikes. She felt two of Berserker's lives vanish before he managed to turn and face the threat. Archer had then leapt up and over Berserker, taking another life with a powerful cross-slash attack to Berserker's head. This was too much. Berserker was supposed to be the strongest!
"Berserker, we're leaving!" As Berserker broke off, scooped her up, and dashed off, Ilya scowled. She would find out what went wrong and come back. Onii-san had to die!
Link stretched as he turned back to normal, quickly chugging a red potion to heal his shoulder. He grinned as he turned back, to see both Shirou and Rin staring at him in shock.
"Well, that was..."
"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Rin's angry shout cut across Link. She was breathing heavily, a single finger shakily pointed at Link. "You...you said you were an Archer?!"
Link blinked. "Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean archery is all I am good at. I could probably have been in this war as Saber, or Rider. Maybe Caster. Maybe Berserker too, not sure though." He shrugged as he thought about it. "Assassin might be a stretch, but with the Stone Mask..." He lapsed into thoughtful silence while the rest of them stared at him.
"...ha...hahahaHaHaHAHAHAHA!" The silence was broken by Rin, who began laughing maniacally. Link looked at her with worry as she started ranting about 'doomed' and 'eat it, priest'. Maybe his Master for this war wasn't quite right in the head. Something to look into, anyway.
One Holy Grail War Later...
Link winced. He hadn't escaped the barrage of golden weapons unscathed, though he had avoided the worst of the blast. The blond guy who shot them at him started ranting about being King and how the world was a dog or something, which gave Link time to pull his trump card out of his pocket. If this didn't work, he would see about trying for a Bug Net Distraction for the win.
He pulled the cork out of the bottle he had pulled out and chugged it down. It was a modified potion of haste, infused with Pegasus seeds, as well as hairs from Sonic and a few feathers from Rainbow Dash. He had tried collecting some sort of crystalized Speed Force, but hadn't managed yet. Still, even if it was incomplete, it would be plenty to show this guy how a true Archer fought.
After finishing the potion, he pulled out his bow and the first of many, many bomb arrows.
Seven seconds, ten bows, and nine thousand, six hundred and twenty eight bomb arrows later, a burned, armorless, and thoroughly unconscious Gilgamesh lay at the bottom of a crater that had taken the place of the park they had been battling in. Idly, Link finished firing light arrows into the black tar like substance that had been unearthed by Gilgamesh's...explosive defeat. The tar hissed and died with a faint scream Link recognized as the agonized death cry of pure evil. Walking down to the center of the pit, he fired a single snake-themed arrow into Gilgamesh's chest, rapidly turning him to stone. 'That ought to hold him till the end of the Loop, I hope. And Zelda said my Gorgon arrows were a waste of magic.'
14.1 - Though the corruption may be gone, their hearts still yearn for EEEVIL!
14.2 - Simple exposition into one of Link's many hobbies.
14.3 - Naruto's calm evaporated completely when faced with the rogue Sannin, Cuccomaru.
14.4 - In which Midna discovers that, while it is plenty dark, Subrosia is much too hot for her.
14.5 - Say what you will about his parenting skills, Genma Saotome is the original Kung-Fu Panda.
14.6 - Nothing is as exciting as finding another bottle.
14.7 - It's a paradox wrapped in a contradiction, tied up in a wibbly-wobbly overused metaphor.
14.8 - Next step, chainsaws.
14.9 - It's the little, er, big things in life that count.
14.10 - Link's Noble Phantasm: Overkill!