" You missed the highway you old bat!" Goro's grandfather yelled in the back seat in the car driving to the skating stadium.
" I'm taking the bridge," Goro's grandmother retorted.
" There's no bridge in the city. Where the heck are you going?"
" Dad relax," Uncle Tsai said punching his fingers in his cellphone. " I already sent a text to my wife. Tell grandma to pull over so we can follow them."
" I knew this was a bad idea. Women should never drive. Your mother was a smoker for ten years before she finally got how bad it was for her."
Uncle Tsai was the one who should have drive. The tournament was going to start soon and he was stuck in a van with his confused grandparents and his cool infidel uncle. Alongside their car Aunt Suki was driving by with Goro's mother, his father's mistress, and everyone else driving by in the minivan.
It was just a normal uneventful day in the life of Goro. He really wanted to get to the skateboard tournament so he could show off his impressive moves. It sounded like fun but what was more fun was seeing something flying outside the window. It looked like an illusion made by someone ominous, but it was really a turtle and that loser Ian chasing the flying turtle.
" Grandpa, there is a turtle flying outside or window."
" I may be old but I'm not senile to believe that."
" There really is a turtle flying outside. It has a green shell and a yellow head. I think it's a girl because it keeps making girl sounds."
" Nice try, Goro. How gullible do you think I am?"
" It's true. I even see that Ian kid chasing after the turtle."
" Ian who?"
" Ian Urashima. He's that weird kid in my class who is always questioning everyone like he's a detective."
" That sounds like something fascinating," Uncle Tsai was the only one looking out the window. He didn't take away the glory of being an adult like his grandparents and mother. " I see them. A green headed turtle with a yellow shell flying. It's pretty amazing."
He wasn't really looking at the flying turtle. Goro told him the turtle had a yellow face and a green shell, and not a green face with a yellow shell. Uncle Tsai was just trying to be nice to Goro. Goro respected his Uncle Tsai. Whenever Goro flunked a test and got bad grades he needed someone to talk to. He couldn't talk to his mom because she always grabbed him with those huge boobs in his face, and throw him into the ground.
" Hey Goro. Look at the delicious woman meat outside."
There was no possible language to explain how happy Goro was to see another sexy girl in his reach. She had that tight yellow shirt, defenceless white skirt, and dark pink hair. She had a black collar wrapped around her neck and black stockings. It was a good thing she carried a fan because she is hot.
Goro the young horn dog just wanted to jump out of the van and do to her what dogs do to cats with her clothes. Unfortunately, like every girl that was young and hot, she already had a boyfriend.
He had that scowling look on his face with his black hair slicked back a white long sleeved cardigan. He looked like he was nineteen years old. He was much older than Goro and in a different league than Goro. She reminded Goro of Uncle Tsai's mistress only Goro actually liked her.
" Uncle Tsai. Why do you and Aunt Suki still live together if you are getting a divorce?"
" It's just a complicated adult matter that has a lot to do with money. But let's not talk about this right now. It's a beautiful day. You should be outside at the beach with your friends. When I was your age I was always at the beach every Saturday. The air was fresh, the water was cold, and there was girls wearing bikini's and they don't punch you for staring. There's nothing like a real woman's sexy bathing suit instead of those girls you watch on cable."
" What's cable?"
" I forgot your mother doesn't make a lot of money. It wasn't the beach I liked the most. I just liked to draw what I saw in the ocean. Back than I was a little bi-curious with my young boyfriend. And...we are here."
Goro hasten his seatbelt for when his grandma making a complete stop. His grandma was bat shit insane. Goro ran out of the car and into the skateboard stadium. However, the windows rolled down when Uncle Tsai said, " Wait."
" Uncle Tsai?"
" I just want you to know I will be watching you the entire time. If you feel stressed just do what I do. Close your eyes and count to ten with your fingers. Count from one to nine. When you reach ten start over to one. Count again but this time add an extra ten to your count. It will feel like you're counting for hours when really only minutes will go by."
" Thanks uncle. I'll try my best and make it to at least the semi-finals. Everyone in there is going to think I am their rival, it will end in a vice-versa."
Goro waved his hand good-bye to his uncle. The young Goro carried his skateboard into the stadium and jumped up in joy. Uncle Tsai walked out of the car and his mom and dad drove away .
" Turn left!" He heard his father shout in the car.
" Where?" His mother said.
" Right there woman!"
Uncle Tsai could practically predict how their driving was going to land them in. What Tsai couldn't see was his own doom and he couldn't see modern day Goro waving his hands in Tsai's face. Goro was just like a ghost to Uncle Tsai.
" Don't drink anything in there, Uncle Tsai! She's going to kill you!"