Chapter 35
Kayla felt as if she was living in a bubble. A bubble made of all the good things in the world as she got into work on Monday morning, with a to do list and a plan.
The weekend had been blissful. Strangely enough though, she felt as if she and Steve had barely spoken at all, communicating instead through touch and expression and desire. The knowledge she could talk to him if needs be was enough. They had reminded each other of how much loved each other, how much they loved their kids and begun to plan once more – because now they knew they could.
Then just like that the week begun. Now as they moved into December, no one was surprised to see the first snow arrive in the town.
Waiting for Christmas to gather the clan together seemed too long though, and so Kayla put into action her planned dinner party.
"It is going to be nice to have everyone here," she said as she snuggled into Steve's shoulder on Sunday evening, still relishing the sheer proximity which was between them.
As for him, he just thought it was nice to be there with her. She was his everything as she always had been and was quite content for them to be alone. But they did have a lot of thank you's to say – so it was best they begun…
X x x
"Oh little sister is so good to hear you," said Kim as they spoke on the phone.
The frost and snow had settled in Salem as November had turned to December but the truth of it was it had been a long time since she felt as warm as she did then.
"It is good to hear you as well," Kayla was just about used to noise again, to hearing voices once more.
For Kimberly, Kayla recounted the story of how she had got her hearing back and there was little doubt in her mind she would be telling it more than once over the next few weeks. Not that she minded all that much… as far as she was concerned it was just an excuse to brag about her little niece and becoming an aunt all over again.
"But what I am really calling about it asking you and Shane to come to dinner."
"Oh Kayla, you do not want to be cooking for all of us at the moment…"
"Well maybe not but I have got no argument with ordering you all in a nice meal."
And when Kim could actually hear how much her sister wanted her there, how could she say no?
As she put the phone down, she turned to Shane with a smile.
"How does she sound?"
"Tired but wonderful. I was just so glad to hear her."
He could have predicted an answer such as that one.
"Do you want some more good news?"
She nodded with a smile on her face. "Always!"
"When you were on the phone to your sister, I got a message from our daughter. She wants to come and stay the weekend with Tate."
The two of them looked at one another as if trying to work out what that meant. There was no point in getting excited.
Yet if their child was happy with her living arrangement then she was going to stay where she was over the weekend. It wasn't as if the mansion wasn't close enough to go back to for the night if she just wanted to visit for the evening…
"Do you think…?" she begun but then held her tongue.
What was going to be would be. But it did seem like a step in the right direction, she wouldn't lie…
X x x
It almost hurt Theresa Donovan to ask but she had too. There was no way to lie about it anymore. Life at the Kiriakis Mansion was grim.
"Is it ok if Tate and I stay here and hang out here while you and dad have dinner with Aunt Kayla and Uncle Steve?"
When she had got there she had been told that they were going and she was welcome to go… but the truth was she wasn't up for it.
Kim tried to act cool.
She knew her daughter and this was going to work out for better if she did not make a big deal out of this.
"Of course, you can honey. Or you can come with us, I know they wouldn't mind you not coming," Kim tried once more.
Theresa knew it was true but she also knew what she was doing was getting ready to admit defeat, for even she could see the facts for what they were. The father of her son did not love her.
And as much as she had tried to make it otherwise she could not.
"I think I just want a night in with my baby."
It was not very like her but it was the truth.
Her mother looked at her for a moment and as much as she knew it was not the right way to go with her girl, she leant forward and kissed her forehead. It was a motherly gesture her child would hate, she thought.
Therefore she was surprised when her daughter actually leaned into the gesture.
Her baby was still her baby after all.
X x x
Hope was gutted by the fact she had missed Kayla's big moment. She wished she had been there with all her heart and she knew her younger brother felt just the same as she did. Bo would have rather been there for her in that moment than be anywhere else in the world.
Thus when she heard that Steve and Kayla were having everyone over for the night she could not be more delighted. Even had she had something else going on that night she would have done everything within her power to clear it so she could be there for her.
Happily it was not required.
By the way that Kay had asked her she knew it was an open invite and if she had wanted Aidan there then she could have had him there.
But she didn't.
And when he asked why, she did the one thing a few months ago she would not have believed she would do and said it was to spare Brady's feelings.
"This is his sister's day. I do not want any more weirdness." And after Thanksgiving and the dinner date there had been plenty of that between them, she was sure even he would have to admit that.
She knew he was not happy about her decision but not even that changed her mind.
When Bo asked her if she wanted a lift Saturday night though she gave an easy yes. She no longer knew why she was putting off what was beginning to look inevitable. The writing was on the wall and they could all see it.
So she let him.
On the way to Steve and Kayla's, they dropped Ciara off with her grandma. Joey loved being with his mum right then but as soon as he heard how many of his aunt and uncles were going to be there he declared it was going to be an adult thing and though he did not want to be rude, he did not really want to be there either.
As ever though Caroline said she would be more than happy to have him and Ciara so the three of them were going to have their own thing.
The ride from the pub to Steve and Kayla's was nothing if it was not comfortable for Bo and Hope. They talked about the police department, the kids. The thanksgiving which had just passed as well as the Christmas which was coming up. Whereas there was a lot which felt as if it had been off topic and limited a while ago, now there was none of that division between them. They had got out the car at the same time and went into the lift. On the way, Hope was very nearly over come with to desire to hold his hand.
She did not act on it but wondered how he would have reacted if she had.
Just before they went into the Johnson seniors they dropped off a present for Adrienne's baby together. Adrienne and Justin had hit the exhaustion point and so were unfortunately not going to be joining them for dinner – but having a new born could do that to you.
Overall, Hope through it all was just unable to shake the thought this was all very much the way it should be.
Finally they knocked on the door of the Johnsons. Brady and herself side by side.
"I am so glad they're doing this."
"So am I," replied Bo and it was then he was the first one to slip and put his hand on Hope's lower back.
"Sorry." he pulled it away so fast it was as if it had been burned.
"I don't mind –"
He was trying to think of what to say next when his sister opened the door to them.
At first they looked as if they were just elated to see her and then they looked at her with expectation.
"Hello you two!"
"Oh Kay!" Hope said as they though their arms about each other.
It had been such a long few months.
"Oh dolly!"
Bo felt as if there was something very right with the world.
"How are you doing baby brother?" Kayla said as she turned to Bo.
"Oh I am a million times better now," he said as they hugged each other.
"Thank you so much for learning how to sign."
"You are so welcome. Oh I love you sis."
"I love you too."
"I hope this lout has been looking after you." he teased as he caught sight of Steve.
"Oh he has." She said looking at him as if he had hung every star in the sky just for her which he would if he could.
Steve and Kayla took their coats and led them into the kitchen where Shane and Kim were with Marlena, John and Roman.
"Where is Stephanie?"
"Oh well as Joe decided to go to grandmas for the night, she has gone to see Abby. I think they felt a bit of girlie catch up for overdue."
"Good for them..."
"I agree. Now all of this is over, I just want the kids to have a bit of fun."
"You and Steve too," Hope prompted.
"Yeah I think so. We are going to book a break soon. Ever just for a weekend."
Hope grinned. "Well I have to say that sounds like a fabulous idea."
"I think so."
It was then that Hope felt as if things were a bit awkward. This might not be the place or time but it could not be ignored…
"Kayla, I do not want to bring this up tonight really, but in the interests of getting all of this behind you as soon as we can, do you want to come to the station on Monday morning?"
"The station?"
"I am sorry bit we do need to take a statement from you about the night you came off the road."
No, thought Kayla. The only good thing about not being able to hear or talk was that this had been a subject she could block off. She did not wish to unblock it even now.
She did not want anyone to know, she certainly did not want to risk any of it ever getting back to her kids. She knew she was not going to be able to handle that.
Her mind begun to race.
"Kayla is that ok?" by the way Hope had asked the questioned she knew it was not the first time she had asked that.
She gave a nod but knew that it was a categorical 'no' and she was in no way ok with that.
X x x
"Well, you tuning up with Sweet Thing has got to be a good sign," Steve grinned at Bo.
"Yeah I hope so."
"I think so."
"And I think you look as if you are a very contented man today."
Contented. Yes that was the word for him. In a very rare him of events Steve did not have too many grips with the word just then.
He had all of his oldest and best friends about him. Kayla was looking and sounding well. He could deal with all of that.
The food was soon to be delivered and he heard his sweetness say something about putting the chips and dips away.
X x x
It was lovely to have every one there and Kayla did not need to be told that both sides of their family were very lucky to be where they were and to have so many blessings right then. She did not need to be told it could all be so much worse.
But there was only one way this was all going to be over and that – for her – was if they never mentioned it again.
The idea of talking about it all with Hope at the station was not one which appealed to her as a pleasing one. In fact she hated it.
And it was such a done deal to all of them that now she could hear and speak that she was just going to spill it all….
Going into the kitchen she felt as if she was able to breathe again for the first time since Hope had said what she had.
She just wanted to move on with her life.
Outside of the kitchen, the table was being set up go for the take away with the cartons of food being lined up and down in easy reach of the dinner guests. They were all laughing and drinking and generally having a very enjoyable time.
They were with their eldest friends.
She knew her sister and Shane were going to be side by side and so had Jack and Jen been since they arrived. Marlena, John and Roman were enjoying themselves. As for Bo and Hope, all you had to do was look at the two of them to know it was not going to be long until something was occurring between them.
And then there was Marcus who loved being back and the life and soul of the party.
But for the first time she wished they were not all here and that it was just her and Steve. Maybe Kim had been right on the phone.
It felt too much all of sudden. All of it felt too much.
X x x
Jack wanted to stay in this moment for a long time to come. He did not think he was able to remember a time when he was this happy. When all his family were well.
And he was so glad to see his brother was in the heart of it all.
Steve deserved that. And Jen was right by his own side for it which made it all so much sweeter.
"So you have invited me and for dinner and now you are not going to so much as give me a plate for my food, I can see how it is."
It was Bo at the end of the table raging on Steve. For a moment it was as if none of them had come back to Salem, which he was so glad they had and he knew from experience it was best not to let them get into it.
"I will go and get you one." Jack offered, releasing they were one plate short as he got up and kissed Jen as he headed into the kitchen. There he found his sister in law. He had seen her come into put the dips away a while ago but he did not think it should be taking her this long. It did not take him long to know something was up – wrong.
He forgot his errand and put his hands on her arms to try and get her attention it was only after he had done that he knew he had made a mistake.
He did not see it coming but she let out a cry she had swallowed down a long time before hand.
It hurt him as he knew that cry. He was sure he had heard it before but he thought that was because of Jen.
"Kayla," he wanted to calm her and to help her but a knot in his stomach said he was not the one who was going to be calm her. Something which he had done years and years before meant he was never going to be able to do that.
The man who was the one to ease her distress her was now coming in to the room and he could sense his brother had the same protective streak in him whem it came to Kayla which he had had from when they were young.
Jack had enough sense to back off from Kayla without being told too.
Months – months and months and she had kept it to herself she had swallowed it down and down until it was so far down she no longer had the words to access it. And so instead she cried. She screamed and she gasped and she could not catch her breathe. As ever Steve appeared to know what to do for her whether he was making it up as he went along or not.
He held on to her shoulders, so as to let her know he was there but not crowd her out. He did not make her feel as if she was being caged in as god only knew that was not going to help.
"What's wrong with her?" he barked at his brother before releasing his anxiety would feed Kayla's.
Jack shrugged in a manner which portrayed both his lack of knowledge and his concern.
Steve turned back to his sweetness. "Kayla, baby you need to keep breathing for me." He said as he tried to soothe her.
But the truth was he did not know how to do that - after all he had never seen her panic like this before. It dawned on him that was what she was doing -having a panic attack. The over whelming urge was to hold her and tell her it would all be fine but he did not think it would help. Whatever had caused this was big. She never panicked – she wasn't a panicker. Something this out of character… the rout of it had to be… well he did not want to think about it.
The guests had all come to see what was up and they were both increasingly aware of it. It was not helping Kayla.
Steve's eye fell on Jack and he felt a long buried anger burn a new. But what had gone on between them was a long-time ago.
A voice in his head told him that this was not Jacks fault.
At least, not this time.
"I am right here with you sweetness. You keep breathing for me."
"You all need to give Kay a bit of room, come on now." Steve did not think he had ever been so glad to hear Kim kick in to big sister mode. The only two who dared to disobey her were Bo and Marcus who stayed behind to help Steve and Kayla.
Marcus set aside the friend and became a doctor.
"Now I want you to take a few deep breathes in and out with me now," said Marcus as he did his level best to ignore Steve's look of 'what the hell is going on Homey?'"
"I do not want to talk about it," Kayla gasped out at last through her tears.
"You don't have to talk about anything; just now in fact it would be a better if you did not. Just focus on your breathing."
"Do you think it is a good idea for us to get her to the hospital?" Bo asked as he looked at his sister.
She had got herself into quite a state and when she had been so unwell already lately, he could not say he was not concerned.
Marcus shrugged – personally he would not mind taking her blood pressure and perhaps giving her a sedative till she calmed didn't seem the worst idea in the world.
But as soon as she heard the suggestion her eyes went wide and Steve had a feeling that should not be the way forward.
"I want her to stay here tonight, in her own bed."
His words had the desired effect for Kayla shut her eyes knowing if she did not want her to be moved then he was not going allow it.
He continued to stroke his hands through her hair soothingly as she nuzzled into him. She seemed to be losing energy quickly, going limp as a doll in his hands.
"Why don't we get her to bed here?" asked Kim.
As far as she was able to see that was the way forward here.
Steve nodded and picked her up. Together with Kim, they went through to the bed room and between them, they got Kayla to bed.
Steve sat on the edge of it, looking at his exhausted love and wondering when the moment it had overwhelmed her had happened and how on earth he had missed the warning signs.
"Just rest your eyes, sweetness," he said as he stroked her hair.
"Don't leave me," anyone else would have missed the murmur but he did not.
"I am never going to leave you again," he promised as he moved closer so he could cradle her in his arms. She breathed his scent in deeply and shut her eyes, locking the rest of the world out for the rest of the night. She would only allow his love in.
Outside of the room, Kim, Bo and Marcus looked at each other all a little paler than they had been before.
"Do you think one of us should stay?" Bo asked.
"I'll take the couch." Marcus nodded. "I'll ring if we need you," he told Kim, knowing her sister might well need her before the night was out.
Kim nodded and she and Bo collected their coats and left in silence. In an odd way, it felt as if Kay had run off the road all over again. It was the same sicken feeling of not knowing what would come next.
In the corridor they found Jack Deveraux, running his hands through his hair and generally looking like he was in hell.
"How is she?"
Kim shook her head. "I don't know. I just don't know." She and her brother left, Hope having been driven home by Shane long ago leaving Steve's younger brother alone, save for the ghosts of the past.
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