Chapter 23 – An Important Meeting III
(25 minutes and 8,519 steps later)
Kim, Betty, Electronique, Sentinel, CajunBear, and Slam were all on cartsheading towards Bonnie's spa. Rufus was in the basket of Kim's scooter, enjoying the breeze of going 10 mph.
Slam's cart suffered all 4 flat tires because of his Lorwardian physique.
"The Earthlings really do need to improve on their land vehicles." the alien agent bemoaned while getting off his damaged cart
Ken, menwhile, had to trudge those 8,519 steps to finally make it to the spa. They were tired and sweating.
"Why did they build the mansion like this?! I got blisters on my feet!"
"That's why you need a Sherpa, Agent Trepid!"
Another servant, Servant 184, was serving as the bodygard to the spa.
"Tightlips has informed me of your presence!" Servant 184 said, "Her Majesty will be with you shortly. All members of your party will be in the sitting room right across from the spa."
Servant 184 then opened the door leading to the sitting room area. Like most of the other rooms in the mansion, it was ornate with a chandelier, alongside with two couches and three recliners made from expensive fabrics. The centerpiece was a marble table imported from Italy.
"Thank you, kind sir!" Betty replied. She, Electronique, and Ken sat on one of the couches. Kim and Ron, Sentinel and Cajunbear sat on the other. Slam just merely stood up.
The doors leading to the spa opened up and a herald came out.
"Hear ye! Hear ye! Make way for the Most Beautiful Brunette Goddess of Royalty! Her Majesty, the Queen, herself! Miss Bonnie Rockwaller!"
"The Queen of obnoxiousness, most defs!" Kim muttered.
Twenty more servants came, laying down petals on the carpet that led to the spa from baskets.
A royal fanfare played by trumpets reverberated through the room.
Four muscular bodyguards carried a 24-karat golden thone. On top of the throne was none other than Bonnie Rockwaller herself. Her hair was mostly grown to the ASiT Future length, complete with her Homecoming crown, and she was wearing her fancy gold-rimmed glasses. She was wearing a maroon croptop with baggy Country Club Banana denim jeans showing off her fancy boxers with the print of a woman's back wearing a thong. She had all assortments of bling on her hands and rings on every finger and four fancy necklaces around her neck. She had piercings on her ear, nose, and of course, her bellybutton. She had pink tennis shoes on that said BLING BLING on them in solid gold.
The servants played the triumphal march from Giuseppe Verdi's opera, Aida, and all chanted, "All hail Queen Bonnie! All hail the Most Beautiful Royal Beauty of the Universe!"
"Lay down my throne here!" the Queen commanded her bodyguards as the song ended. They did so in front of the Global Justice group.
Bonnie got off the throne and smiled, holding her pants in one hand and her gold smartphone in the other.
Ken, seeing the print on the back of the Queen's boxers, wolf-whistled. Kim made a growling sound at him for this move.
"Ah...finally you people have arrived! How was the trip?" Bonnie asked them.
"The trip went well...a few speed bumps along the way, but that was all." Betty replied.
"Except for when you got nearly carsick!" Cajunbear smirked at Sentinel.
"Hey...don't blame me for what I eat!" Sentinel replied.
"Let's get down to business, shall we?" the Queen smiled, in particular at Kim.
Bonnie then took a seat on her personal chair, the one that has the R's inscribed in gold on them.
"So how is everyone doing?" she asked the group. "Including the freaky alien thing..."
Slam muttered, looking at Bonnie tanned and covered in makeup, And they say I'm the freak...
"Very good!" almost everyone in the party replied, except for Kim whom muttered "Fine...whatever!"
"Good! Now...onto the Fannies!" the Queen replied with excited glee.
"The nearest servant to me!" she proclaimed, clapping her hands, "Bring me a pen and a pad of paper!"
Servant 699, the nearest servant to her, brought her a pen and a pad of paper.
"Thanks!" Bonnie replied with delight.
She opened the pad and adjusted her glasses, and began to write down stuff.
"The first order of business is financial issues." the Queen said, writing it down. "Most notably the colossal wastes of money that was the JARVIS II system from the 9th Fannies and Whitem's suit from the 10th Fannies that put the Fannie Committee in the red..."
"In all fairness..." Cajunbear said, "...that supersuit was made by Wade!"
Kim's eyes widened and she shuddered. It had only been a couple of years since that infamous incident when Mr. Chester Yapsby interferred the 10th ceremony.
"The bugs...they were so big!" she gasped in horror.
But Ron comforted her, "Don't worry! Hercules is now like Roachie!"
Kim sighed at that moment and was more relaxed.
"Ahem! People! If we can just come back to the topic at hand!" Bonnie insisted.
Kim sneered, "Fine, Bon-Bon! I just don't wanna waste your time with any flashbacks!"
But the Queen contined on. "Anyways, I will make sure that the expenses will be distributed fairly from the food to the rights of the songs and the decorations! The bulk of it, of course, will be for the Golden Rufus statuettes."
She got into the next topic.
"Onto topic number two: security. I fled during the 10th Fannies when those stupid roaches came in. I suffered a broken nail!"
"So Slipgate called me a couple of weeks ago, since he's in charge of security detail on the committee, and suggested that Global Justice will take the helm."
"Slipgate?!" Cajunbear gasped, "You mean our Slipgate?! The one who nearly let the power go to his head a couple of years ago?"
"CB?!" Sentinel warned, sensing some anger from his partner "Amp down on the temper! You have no reason to over-react! Global Justice is overseeing things now!"
"Sentinel is correct!" Betty added, "Miss Rockwaller, we have experienced employees in the field of security. I can assure you that there will be no more of these...incidents as the past Fannies ceremonies had."
"You'd better keep your promise, Miss Director." Bonnie replied, applying makeup to her face, "I will be paying you people to guard the VIPs, and their personal belongings, in my opera house. Also, your agents will be working alongside my security in order to make sure everything goes smoothly. If you fail to do so, you will not get anything in return! Do you understand the terms of our contract?"
"I understand them fully." Betty replied. "But rest assured, our agents will have everything locked down. You have nothing to worry about."
"Now that security and financial stuff is out of the way, we can now finally talk about the third topic, something that is the most important thing of all...yet it has slipped my mind." Bonnie said with a sly grin.
"Can anyone guess what it is?"
Kim, overcoming the memory of the roach incident two Fannies ago, was waiting for her old high school rival to make any move that would twerk her.
"Is it where you introduce the new host of the Fannies, B?"
"Bingo, K! You're correct!" the Queen grinned with delight. She then clapped her hands and decreed, "Servants, prepare the entrance for the new host of this years' Fannies!"
The servants that were present obeyed as they got in two rows of 20 leading towards the door.
"Now, just to doubly make sure, you are not, in any way shape or form, going to host the ceremony?" Kim asked, still uncomfortable around the idea of her rival giving praise to herself for four hours.
"Have you got wax in your ears, Kim? I told you that I am not going to host the show! Although from what the new host has told me, I am going to be part of a few of the awards presenters." Bonnie replied.
"So tell me...Your Majesty..." Kim began while sarcastically saying the 'Your Majesty' part. "...what are the specs on the new host?"
"Let's see..." Bonnie replied, "...he has been a fan of your show, especially with me as his top character, since 2009. He is extremely active in social media. He maintains a lot of connections with other fans of your show. And the best part is that he is my number one servant on my mansion grounds! You may also know him as the football stat guy or whatever that's called for the Middleton High football team for years now!"
Kim reacted to this news with complete surprise, "Wait...are you actually getting...him?"
"Don't you know, Kim? He's the bon-diggiest guy that I've hung around with, aside from Felix!" Ron exclaimed.
"Yeah...but his ideas for his stories seems a bit...what's the approps words to put it...weirdish!" Kim replied, unsure of the description of the host.
Bonnie reacted to Kim's facial expression with delight, "Yes...I am getting...HIM!"
She declared as loud as her voice can carry, "Without further delay, ladies and gentlemen, I give you all the new host of the 12th Annual KP Fannies!"
The trumpet fanare blew an overture.