Chapter 39
Bo was working on duty at the station the day that his sister came to report the attack.
Due to the family connection between him, Hope and Kayla the two of them were prohibited from taking her statement for which he was almost grateful.
He did not want to know the details.
She arrived looking put together and fierce – it was only when she had to go with the officer who she was going to be talking too that her courage seemed to flag a little.
Steve held her hand to his own for a moment as they looked at each other and she hoped she was right in thinking that the worst part for her was over now.
She really needed the worst to be over.
But then there was that old mantra in her head saying she had done all or this before and thus she could do it again.
She had done it before.
She could do it again.
"Kay, we love you and we are going to be right here for you when it is all over," said Hope.
She still felt as if things were slightly off between them after all that had gone on but Hope was not going to let that stop her from being there for her now.
The two of them had been sisters for too long for that to happen.
"And I am not going to go anywhere, sweetness. I am going to be here thought-out."
"You are not going to leave the building?" she asked as she grasped his hand. She did not know why it mattered to her that he stayed close when he couldn't come into the room with her but it did. She needed him.
She needed him there as she had never had before.
"Not for a moment." He sighed cupping her face. "Not for a second. So you go in there and you tell it how it is… and if it gets too much at any time you just come straight on out that room and your old tom cat is going to be here waiting for you."
She looked into his eye and saw the fierce truth in it.
He would go nowhere whilst she needed him.
She came closer and careless of the eyes which were upon them she kissed him. No one else mattered right them, just the two of them.
He kissed her lips and then her forehead and then wrapped his arms about her so that she could bury her face in his chest.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
She was suddenly so aware of the police officer who was going to be taking her statement. She stuck out like a sore thumb she thought to herself for she was the only one who was not family.
"Take your time Ms Brady," the police women said to her but she knew that was not going to help matters.
If anything they had to get on with it. Get it over with.
She looked Steve and he gave her the nod that said no matter what else was going on he knew she could do this and he had every faith in her.
And it gave her courage to have faith in herself.
She just needed to keep that courage, which had always been so important for them both. As she passed her brother and the women she loved like a sister she took both of their hands and squeezed them.
Part of her said she should have stopped for a hug but that was not important. What was important was that she kept going one foot in front of the other until this thing was done. And then she could go home.
X x x
Part of her screamed that this should have been one of the most emotional moments of the whole thing but once she was in the interview room Kayla felt curiously calm. It was as if she was able to disconnect herself from it all.
She was Steve's wife in her heart and she was the kids mom and this lady here giving the statement was not who she had to be when she went home that night.
That was a comfort to her. And so she spoke gently and clearly, picking each word as carefully as she could so that there was a reduced chance of any one changing her meaning. She knew he was going to try but she was not going to help him.
She kept herself calm and cool, and took a breather to get herself through the rest of it whenever she needed too and reminded herself that she got to go home that night with a man who loved her and the kids they had made together.
She would go home to safety and this entire nightmare was going to be closer to being over. She just had to breathe.
X x x
When Kayla got out of the interview she went straight to Steve and threw herself in to his embrace.
Yes this had been her own choice and she had said she was fine doing it and so she was.
But when it came to it she did not think it had made it any easier at all.
The Brady's had been sure to teach their kids from when they had been young that nothing that was easy - or hardly anything easy - was ever worth it but the rewards when you did something greater was worth it and thanks to the example of her parents, Kayla did believe that.
But it did not make the harder stuff any easier to do.
She shut her eyes and nuzzled in to his shoulder careless of the fact that Bo and Hope were watching.
But why should the two of them who loved them care? The four of them loved one another dearly and if one of them could bring a little comfort to another that was what they had to do.
"Kayla do you want a cup of coffee?" her brother asked. He did not know quite how that was meant to help but he wanted to be able to do something for her and as Steve seemed to have cuddling her covered, there was not a lot else he could do.
And their mother always put a hot drink inside someone who she thought was having a rough time. She said it was a small act of love and he happened to agree with that.
But she shook her head.
"The truth is I am so tired all I want to do is to go home."
There was nothing wrong with her that a good night's sleep wasn't going to cure she thought to herself but she did want to get out of the police station.
It felt too much to be there right then.
Steve nodded, and they said their goodbyes and they got out of there, with his arm about her shoulders, side by side.
X x x
There was a different kind of quiet in the apartment to where there was anywhere else in the world in Kayla's opinion. It just brought peace to her. Whereas the quiet of so many other places disconcerted her, here it filled her with warmth.
She shut her eyes and just let herself be the sort of glad she always was when she was home. Here was where she got to be Steve and the kids and no one else.
She turned to her partner in all things and gave him a sad smile.
They had not said a lot on the way home – she had just held his hand as she enjoyed brushing her shoulder on his and felt glad been glad to have him so close. She had been so lonely for him when she had been being interviews. Part of her had been waiting for him to batter down the door and save her from it all but of course he had more respect for what she wanted than all of that.
As for Steve the car ride home had been a little different.
He had been racking his brain trying to find anything to say to comfort her after all she had been through but there were no words.
No words to take it all away.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked finally. Part of him wanted to know everything that was said and yet there was a part of them which he hated which wanted to know nothing at all.
He knew his ignorance was bliss.
She shook her head.
"I have done enough talking about it for now –" there was going to be no good which could come of it. They just had to wait for the cps to find the case now and that was there involvement over for the time being.
"Is there anything which you do want?"
She raked her brains to try and find what she did wanted and then her stomach answered for her. She had been so nervous over it all when she had got up that she had not been able to eat a thing but now – now she thought yes. She was going to be able to eat.
"Can I say lunch?"
He nodded. "Of course you can. You sit down, and put up your feet. I will get the lunch on sweetness!"
X x x
The kids got back at different times that night but Steve was amused to see the two of them did the same thing – they dropped their stuff and then went to the side of her mother to give her a big hug.
They all needed it.
Stephanie did not ask what had got on that day. She had once gone through a similar interview herself and knew how ghastly they were, how they made you relive the details you would far rather forget.
She wished she had been able to do anything to save her mother from all that but of course there was nothing which she could do but be there for her at the end of the day which in Kayla's estimation was plenty.
Joey, when he got home, went over to the sofa and put his head on her chest. He knew she had had a long day and maybe he should leave her be but that was not the vibe he was getting from his mother or his father for that matter.
"Hi baby," said his mother as she gathered him close and rocked a little as she may have done when he was younger.
The two of them had often they had sat like that together when they had been in South Africa, Steve thought to himself. He could so remember the way their exhausted little boy had gone up to his mother and cuddled in when he had needed her and the way Kayla had seemed to just wrap him up in her love.
It made him grateful for her – even more so, for the wonderful mother which his kids had but that day it made him grateful for their boy and for the wonderful son which they had.
Kayla would never have asked him to stay with her but he did.
And after the fraught morning which they had had a stillness seemed to descend.
And if it was a strain on Kayla it showed not at all.
But the truth was it was a tonic to her and she felt her battery begin to recharge at last.
X x x
The day after she had given her statement Steve had woken up to find that Kayla had already got out of bed and he did not like that.
God knew if she ever needed her rest then it was going to be after the day before.
He grabbed his robe from the back of the door and made his way out into the kitchen to find Kayla there, up, bright eyed and dressed.
"Baby, what is going on?"
"What does it look like? I am getting ready to go to work."
Now that it was over, she felt as if for the first time in a long time she had energy again. And she had a bit of power as well. She remembered feeling much the same when she had spoken out about Jack and she could not believe of all the things which she had forgotten, she had gotten how good it felt to say that they were not going to do this to her any more.
"Baby you do not have to go back yet – you need rest," he said as he wondered over to her. If there was one thing he was not going to have it was someone pushing her too hard right then.
Even if he had to stop her from doing it.
"I know I don't and yes I do – but I can do a day's work. The truth is I feel quite invigorated."
She felt as if she was Doctor Brady once more.
He looked in to her face as he tried to find the lie but it was not there. Then why would it be? if there was one thing his woman was not it was a liar.
"You do not have to worry about me – at least not today. You can even go and do a day's work yourself if the mood so takes you," she said with a teasing smile.
"Can I now?"
She nodded.
"And when we get home – we can see how invigorated we both feel."
Ever since the dinner party, it had gone unsaid that there were certain things between them which were just not possible. But now she felt once more that anything was possible and to feel his chest on hers and his hands on her lower back… caressing her…
She did not think there could be anything more pleasant than that.
"Bye baby," he said as she grabbed her bag and left the house, leaving Steve with all kind of thoughts which he had been denying himself in his head.
X x x
"Why don't I finish up here? You can go and spend a bit of time with our baby girl." Bo offered at the end of a gruelling but productive day. Bo knew this was taking it out of his partner. Hope had blamed herself for this ever since they had found out what had happened to Kayla. No matter how long it took they were going to bring that thing to justice but he did not want her making herself ill in the process.
They were getting closer to finding the son of a bitch who had hurt his sister or seemed to be, so it was not going to be too long now but it was going to be no good to Kayla if Hope did herself a mischief in the process.
"I just want to write one more email."
Brady gave her a look which told her all he thought of that.
She tried to come up with a sensible reason why had to do it then but could not.
"I know it is a lot easier too say then do but fancy face you have got to stop blaming yourself."
He was right. It was a hell of lot easier to say than to do.
When Kayla had come to the police station to make her statement she had looked so pale and thin to the eyes and try as she might she had not been able to remember the last time she had truly seen her smile - that hurt her.
"But I am the one who put Kayla through all this." He shook his head. Nothing in the world was going to make him believe that.
"Hope Brady, party of one is the only person in the world who believes that. And if you won't believe me then go and talk to Kayla and speak to her about it."
It seemed to Hope that the trouble always came from when she had been talking to Kayla… but after the years of friendship, it was not right for her to stay away either. She knew that would be worse.
There would be the betrayal.
"Maybe…"
Bo gave her a soft smile. "If you won't listen to me, listen to her."
"I do listen to you Brady – and what's wonderful is for the first time in years is that we're hearing each other."
They were at work, so he knew he shouldn't really kiss her but right then he could not help but peck her on the forehead. He couldn't agree with her more.
X x x
"Hi, I hope this is not a bad time," said Hope as Kayla opened the door, as a new week begun in Salem.
"Not at all, come inside."
She had popped around on the off chance she was going to get her on her own and it seemed to have worked.
She knew that Joey was at school and that Steve was at work —her mother in law had said something to her the night before about Stephanie helping her out the next day so she thought if she went then that she was going to have a decent chance of catching her alone.
And it looked like she had done.
Kayla's shifts were on a night rotation for now. Her first set since the crash.
"Kay I wanted to say sorry to you – that is why I have come over," sighed Hope as she sat down on the couch and Kay came and sat next to her.
All of this was such a mess but she knew she had to start somewhere.
"Why dolly?"
"I do not think for a moment I have made any of this any easier on you."
She had been the one who had tried to quiz her just hours after everything that had gone on in the hospital.
Bo had been the one to learn sign language so they were able to communicate, that had not been her either.
And then there was what she had said and done on the night of the dinner party which really got to her.
It had meant to be such a happy night and if she had only engaged her brain she might have seen sense to leave well enough alone and give her night of fun with her friends and family but she could not even do that.
Then there was of course the big one – the fact she had brought Grayson in to her life.
"Everyone needs to stop playing the blame game you know – this is all down to one person and one person alone and you are not him."
Hope disagreed with that and she had a feeling she was always going to. She was a woman who had belief in cause and effect and the effect of her introducing her to Grayson… well they all knew the affect it had had.
"Hope – none of this is down to you."
"I just can't bear the thought I made life any harder for you when you were already having such a horrible time."
That was not what family were meant to do for each other, on the contra they were meant to raise one another up and it had been a while since that was the effect she had had on her family.
Between divorcing Bo when he had been gone and trying to be with Aiden when she had known the two of them were not right…
"Whatever you did – it didn't add to my worries. And in the end it was because of what you have said and done that I finally got my outlet."
Yes there was a time when she had wanted nothing more than to hold it all in – but it was not as good as saying it outload.
She knew that now.
"I just worry about you."
"And just like everything else I know you do it because you love me."
Hope felt a weight in her heart lift. That was what she had needed to here.
A tear streaked down her face and before she even knew it Kayla was hugging her as if she was one of the kids.
"What is this about? Hope come on."
"There was just a silly part of me which thought after all of this I was going to lose you."
"After all we have been through together over the years? Not a chance!"
Grayson had taken so much from all of them – mainly energy it seemed to Kayla but she was going to damned to hell if he dared to try take her dearest friends.
And so in that spirit she was just was not going to let go.
"We'd have to lose ourselves to lose each other – and I am glad to say that is not going to happen for many, many years to come. We've so much good ahead of us Hope. It is time to focus on that."
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