Chapter 40
After Hope left, Kayla could not help but bless her heart. She had got herself into something of a tizz over it all – she should not have.
For it was not her fault.
Yet the fact she was the one who had been able to talk to her and take her off of the ledge she had been on was to her just another way in which she was able to prove to the world she was no longer helpless and the truth was, she never had been.
If there was someone in the world who did need to be told that thought it was surely Steven Earl Johnson.
He had learnt that once for himself already.
It had been the night after Kayla had gone back to work when he had heard his son and daughter go to bed early…
Luckily, his loves invigoration had lasted through the day.
Steve had had a bit of trouble concentrating when he had been at that station that day. What Kayla had said to him went around and around his head and all he could think of was her.
In order to try and conserve his energy, he sat at his desk all day and tried to focus. But it was a challenge.
"Have you got cloth for ears at the moment?" asked Bo halfway through the day.
"Quite possibly!" he responded to his brother in law cryptically as his own thoughts stayed focused on that evening.
X x x
Kayla and Steve went to bed not long after Joey that night and they locked the door.
Steve thought it was strange how coy he felt with her.
After the fourth of July the two of them had had no trouble showing their affection to each other. That was after everything had happened.
But a lot had changed since then.
And he knew so much more.
But he also knew the last thing in the world she was going to want for them to change the way the two of them were with each other.
He had to forget how she had looked when she had gone in to the police station the day before and focus on the way she had looked that morning when she had told him of her plans for him that night.
That was what mattered.
If he had been a different man or she had been a different woman then she may have worried that all this was going to change them forever.
But this was them and if there was one thing Kayla knew it was that this was not going to change them or thank god the way he saw her.
They had been tested far too many times over the years but they had never let anything break them and he did not think it very likely that they were going to begin now.
He smiled gently at her.
"Well I have been thinking about you a lot today sweetness," he begun.
It was tenderer in some ways than she was normal but she did not think she minded that over much.
They were good with tender.
"Yeah?" she asked with a coy smile and he nodded.
"Yeah."
"Show me then," she asked softly.
There was heat between the two of them but they were lighting the flame slowly that night.
He came towards her and cup her face in his hands for just a moment before he bent down and kissed her.
There was no one in the world like her he thought to himself.
She had been through so much but she had never let it robe her of her ability to trust or to love or to be brave and have courage.
And a lot of what she had been through… he had been the one to put her through it but he vowed to himself then and there that it was never ever going to be the case again.
"I love you," he said as he reached below her blouse to find the warm soft skin of the woman he loved.
"I love you," she was quick to return
She had loved him before he had ever let her do such a thing and so she knew she was not going to stop – well, she just wouldn't, no matter what. Not till the end came for them both and even then she had high hoped for what the after life was going to bring for them.
It was all over too soon for her liking, but it was loving and tender and she had felt blissfully small with him on top of her.
As if nothing was ever going to hurt her again and in that moment she knew if he could make it so then he was going to.
It was only when she was laying curled in to his side after that she really felt herself sigh with relief. She had known if the two of them had let it be the case they were going to have a barrier go up between them but they had nipped that in the bud.
But it was not as if she felt the two of them had rushed into anything either. It was just that they had communicated in a way which they had always used to hearing one another, even when they could not.
She shut her eyes, wishing she could remain there forever and pleased at least for that night she could. It was quite clear that he was not going to let her go all night long and so it was she went to sleep in their bed with his arms about her.
Which was just how she liked to end the day.
X x x
When it came for the Brady's that year, Christmas was most necessary.
Caroline did not think she could remember too many years like that one for their family. That was not to say it had all been bad for them for she did not think at all not when she had got her Bo back at last – as well as her Kimmie. It had been many years since she had had all of her babies close to her.
Yet s glad as she was to have Bo back at home, for the vast majority of the year, Hope and he had been apart. And then there was the Johnson's…
No, in a lot of ways – and she had to be honest with herself she found – the family had broken down that year.
When she thought of Kayla it was hard to think it was such a good year. Her precious girl had been through for too much. Yes she had had a happy ending with the kids and Steve but she was in no way fool enough to think that wiped out all of the other horrible things which happened to her daughter lately.
But maybe it did go a little way. And now they were all on the rebuild and there was no better way she thought than to begin with a family Christmas. Any way she was going to make it the kind of family Christmas which her Shawn would be proud.
That was she was sure that was the best thing to do.
X x x
Whether it was right or wrong JJ could not help but be reassured by the way his dad had reacted to Kayla's panic attack.
Of course if it was his choice then it would never have happened but against himself he now knew without a doubt his father was not who he had been when he was young and he was no longer the man who – who he had been in the past.
He was a good man and he was one who loved his friends and his family as well. And he was one who had been away from them all for far too long.
Thus Christmas came and for them all he knew it was time to do what they should have done long ago.
He found his mother in the living room of the Horton homestead. It was not yet the day of the tree trimming but if anyone thought that was going to stop Jennifer Rose Horton getting ready for it then they were very wrong.
She had the boxes with the balls in down and was looking at them with as much love as she would if they were actual family members.
"Mom."
"Oh hi baby."
"I need to talk to you."
"Well you have my attention."
He sat down on the sofa and took a deep breath for this was his last chance to block the inevitable if that was what he wanted but it wasn't. What he wanted was for his family to be together for Christmas and he knew it was what they wanted as well.
"If it is what you and Abby want," which he knew very well that it was "…. I am cool with it if my dad moves home."
He had a feeling that more than anything Jack needed to move home for the good of his mental health.
And they were his family. If anyone should be taking care of them it had to be them.
"Baby are you sure?"
With her whole heart Jen wanted her Jack to be at home where he belonged. It was all she had wanted since that awful night when the elevator shaft had fallen.
She was not sure it the last few months had been easier or harder. At least she knew he was alive and well but every selfish fibre of her being had said he was not yet lose enough and she wanted more. Him in their bed for a start where they could be skin on skin.
But with the way their son had reacted to him being back she had known they had to move slowly. The only people in the world who she loved more than him where the children she had given Jack. Rushing JJ would have been to no one's benefit.
And still now she had to be sure that was not what they were doing.
"Baby –"
"Dad needs us and we need him."
JJ knew that was the bottom line and he soon knew he had indeed said it with enough conviction as a smile spread on his mother's face. "I am so proud of you." she knew none of it had been easy for him. But he had come to see who his father really was and in the years to come she knew that was going to be a gift to him. "I am so proud of you, my darling boy."
He gave her a kiss but could not think why. It was not as if he had been on good form.
He had rejected his dad when he could had him home a lot sooner.
And then there was the whole Paige thing and they all knew that was not his brightest moment.
But he could tell she meant it by the tone of voice as was as the fierce look of love in her eyes.
He hugged her back.
"I love you."
"I love you too baby."
X x x
Though it was JJ who had come to the decision, it was Jen who had made the call to Jack to invite him home. It had been so unexpected and of course he had agreed to go as fast as he could. All he had wanted for so long was to go back.
But when he had got off of the phone, he had realised to go to one home he had to leave another. And while on the one hand he was sure he could not have a home without being with his wife and kids, he knew he had found one in the flat with his sister and niece.
He had not been unhappy here.
Adrienne being Adrienne she had been happy for him and soon started making jokes, though he knew this was going to hurt her – as it did him in some regards.
"No doubt you are going to be glad to be away from all the crying and the diapers," said Adrienne as Justin held his youngest niece in his arms.
No doubt.
The truth was he would miss them. Very much. Part of him said if Jennifer would have let him go straight home then he would have gone like a shot but the other part of him was so glad he had got the time he had with Adrienne.
They had never had that before. Time to live together and to really be brother and sister in a way they had just not been able to be before.
And to have the time with Katie as well.
That was something he would treasure forever as he had barely got to see any of his other nieces.
And he would miss seeing her every day.
The truth was he was nervous about really going home. It was such a long time since he had lived in his proper family home that he did not know if he knew how to these days.
Be a dad, be a husband.
It all seemed as if it was a bit of a dream to him.
But what a wonderful dream.
After the nightmare…
"Kayla's seems as if she is picking up a bit."
"Yeah I think she is." Adrienne nodded. She paused before saying what she thought he needed to hear. "She wants to let go of the past though – so should you."
"Once I have proven myself to JJ I think that is going to be a little bit easier."
"Jack, can I just remind you, you are moving home. I think you have done that already."
He nodded wanting to believe that more than anything.
"Sometimes I can't believe we all started off as she is now," he said as he looked at his little niece.
She let him change the subject.
"It is an amazing thought."
She did not rightly know how on earth their own mother had survived bringing two babies into the world and then having to give them up.
Especially Steve though she did not think it was right to weigh one loss as greater than the other.
But Jo had had time with Steve. She had got to know his littler personality quirks and it was only after that she had had to give him up.
Jack had been a little baby – may be that was worst. Knowing he was entirely dependent on every one for everything and then not know how was going to be there to see their needs were met.
She was so lucky she had been in a position where she could keep her babies – the one she had given birth to herself and the ones she had not.
That she was never going to have to lay at night and wonder if they were ok.
She shook the thoughts out of her head.
"But then we grow –"
"And life becomes more complicated."
That she could not argue again.
"And then one way or another – life works itself out."
Had she said that to him the day before he had a feeling he would have tried to argue against it. But right then – he couldn't.
That was exactly what his life was doing at last.
What he hoped it was doing.
"Love you." he murmured quietly.
"Love you to, big brother."
X x x
To have Jack Deveraux home for Christmas was the best Christmas present Jennifer Horton could possibly get.
She had waited and waited and it had paid off.
He was home and his stuff was home. And it was the little things like his mug no longer being stuffed at the back of the cupboard and his tooth brush being with her own and the kids in the pot that thrilled her.
But mainly it was him.
Getting a cup of coffee in the kitchen. Sitting reading a newspaper in the sofa.
Standing by the window on a dark night which was just what he was doing then. It had been such rush when she was young to know she had Jack hearts and soul and it had just the same effect of her right then.
It felt the same. She watched him for a while and she was quite transfixed, the way his moonlight hit his salt and pepper hair, the leanness of his body.
It turned out she wanted him as much right then as she ever had.
His back was just as brood as she remembered it from when the two of them had been so very much younger and she longed to reach out and touch it.
And so now that she knew she could she did.
She crept over to the window where he stood and her hand star fished on his skin… it was soft.
It felt so good to touch the man she loved once more.
But it was not long until she wished she had not down.
He jumped out of his skin.
"Sorry,"
"Don't be." She said as she looked up at him.
The fact was she was the one who should have known better than to do that to him. touch him without announcing herself… He had suffered with PSTD in the past and she was not convinced that that was a battle he had won as of yet. And she had to help him in that fight.
If her role as if his wife was not to be there for then she did not know what it was.
Quite asides from all of that he had been on his own for so long now. He was not used to having people around him all the time. At least not in the way that she was.
And certainly not someone who was going to just touch him.
She was about to apologise again when their eyes met.
Jack leaned down and kissed her forehead before leaning his forehead on hers.
God it had been far too long for both of them.
She had longed for him for so many nights and now it was the nearness of him which was so new.
It was hard to think there was a time in her life when she had just taken this for granted.
That she was going to be able to put her head on his chest and got to sleep at the end of the day.
But she vowed she was not going to be making that mistake again.
He was looking at her with a look in his eye that she knew she was never going to be able to describe – not if she was having her best writing day ever.
It was intense and it was full of love and that was all she knew - but then that was all she had needed to know.
Their lips met together and she knew the promise of fulfilment was now not going to be very long in coming.
She had wanted him in the way that she was having him right then since she had seen him all those months ago in the Kiriakis mansion. And now, that night, the long wait to be together was over.
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