Poor little Su. She had no idea her favorite man was in Hell. The thing about Hell is it torments you for an eternity. The only thing worse than being in Hell was running into a highly dangerous obsessed girl in hell who is half-human and half-Satan. That girl brought Gero and Ichigo into the worse possible place to be: the DMV.
Hell DMV. The cars they used were really portals that could carry them anywhere. Gero and Ichigo were in the back of the line of all kinds of horrific entities. There was a woman in a nurse outfit carrying a razor with her face completely smashed in; you couldn't even see her eyes but you could see her teeth. In front of her was a girl in a gothic maid outfit with half her hair burned away and a gold finger. Her eyes were red as in the color of crimson blood. Just ahead of her was a male monster. A monster with a human form, bat wings instead of human arms, pig nose and bat ears. He looked like a mutated Dracula.
" Check it out." Ichigo said showing his card to Gero. It was the number 69. Knowing Ichigo he probably thought about sex. " Sixty-nine."
" The last number called was Negative six hundred and eighteen."
" Dammit!"
" Let's face it, dude. We're now in Hell. We were idiots to follow Daisuke here and now we're paying the ultimate price: our souls."
" Relax. This is an easy fix. All I need is find the hottest girl in the front line and spend five minutes with her."
Unbelievable, Gero thought when he heard Ichigo trying to turn a very trecherous situation into a bar where men always pick up hot girls.
There were three girls in the front entrance and none of them were human. One of them was as big as an octopus but looked more like a hippo.
You couldn't tell it was a girl if she wasn't wearing a small pink shirt with a red heart and ripped shorts. Her belly weighed in tons instead
of pounds. She was a definite no to Ichigo. He turned to the next girl. Even in Hell she wore a black snowsuit. She had bosoms the size of melons
but she had twenty-one tiny eyes all over her face and her hair was asymmetrically black. A maybe to Ichigo. The last girl was a lizard. Not a lizard
like you would think. Her skin was green and smooth like an ordinary girls. Like the hippo girl she wore cut shorts. Pink strap covering only her knockers.
Even with yellow eyes with small pupils and a tongue that could retract to four feet she had a butt-like red thong that every woman would want to wear when
trying to catch Ichigo's attention. She even licked her lips with that tongue while winking at him and he feel for her.
" You're not really going to spend time alone with her, are you?" Gero asked fearing that more stupid events would come their way if Ichigo did what he wanted.
Ichigo was the essence of bad luck to everyone close to him.
" Do you hear that?" Ichigo asked holding his hand over his ear.
" Hear what?" Gero also held his hand over his ear to hear whatever thing Ichigo claimed to hear. He heard something
tiny. It sounded like laughing. Then he realized it was laughing. It was the laugh of a girl having the nape of her neck
kissed over and over again from some guy in the bathroom. No surprise, that boy was Ichigo, he left.
" Crap. This is why my parents wanted me to date feminists."
###
After seven minutes of waiting outside a bathroom stall, listening to Ichigo do what all men do to make babies,
Ichigo and the reptilianish girl walked out. Ichigo's chest was showing from his shirt open and the girl
was licking her hands and rubbing her hair.
" Good news, dude." Ichigo said showing his card. " We're negative six hundred and ten now."
Gero didn't agree with Ichigo's methods but he was glad with the results. Gero and Ichigo were soon in the passenger
seat of one of the most boring look cars ever made. It looked like it was made at the last second by five lazy mechanics.
Considering Gero was a skateboarder and Ichigo was a janitor in a girls only inn slash hot spring resort, lazy went very
far. The silver was dirty, it was missing it's two back wheels, and the disheartening white headlights. Gero and Ichigo
weren't alone in this car, not even allowed to touch the wheel. It was being driven from the reptilian girl.
" We'll finally get to go home and see everyone," Gero said banging his hands on the back seats.
" And I helped," Ichigo said pointing to himself.
The girl turned the keys and started the engine. She adjusted her rearview mirror to see if their was anyone behind her
and soon they were lifted into the air. It was like how Emmitt Brown's car flew in Back to the Future 2. The next
thing the girl did was tap on her wheel three times. The wheel fell open and a glowing purple stone flew out and
surrounded her. Gero didn't know how a stone could fly but it wasn't the weirdest thing he saw since entering Hell.
The stone passed through the hood of the car and engulfed it in a purple sphere.
" This is just like episode twenty nine of Galla Ardo," Ichigo said as excitement was filling in his stomach. It
was time for blast off.
" What's Galla Argo?" Gero asked.
" It's a show canceled after fifty episodes about a guy from the future who goes back in time to stop a madman from
changing the future. Along the way he bones every hot girl he meets with his ruggedly handsome face and body organs
every man wants."
" That explains so much...wait a minute. I thought you lost your memories!"
" I did. After being ordered around by a woman in a dominatrix uniform to make potato salad for two hours I couldn't remember
my own name. My pasts just got stranger and stranger as they went on that I had to lose my mind in order to go with
them."
" So you mean to tell me you werer lying when you said you didn't know that girl?"
" Yep. We had one date and I did things to her the girl in front would jump to have. Now let's turn on the radio."
" Are you stupid? We're in Hell. Radio Waves come from-"
Gero was proven wrong about how radio works in Hell when music started playing in the car. This was by far the most
idiotic, unexpected day he ever had. When a purple door appeared in the wall and they flew into the door.
Gero expected the car to fly back to Hinata House with everyone cheering for his return. The only thing wrong with
what he waanted was the flying car he came in and the slimy girl driving the car. He was so happy he could even give
Ichigo a hug for helping him escape.
" You know what?" Gero said putting his arms behind his head and laying back. " I might actually miss Hell." A bolt of fire
was summoned out of the sky and exploded into the back. The car rocked and Daisuke fell on the couch seat. " Whoever did that can go to Hell!"
Gero took out his skateboard in case of an emergency. He wanted to see if he was incredible enough he could land on his skateboard and survive.
It seemed like he would be falling down very soon. The sounds of scratching like a hook against a stop sign was heard throughout the car. The
slimy girl couldn't drive anymore. She covered her ears from the sound of scratching. It was like a Freddy Kruegar movie; the nightmare was
the slimy girl unable to drive the car and it spinning all the way to the ground.
" We're going to die!" Ichigo cried in the driver's side. He was so petrified of dying he covered his ears and screamed like it was his last moments
alive. " I'll never get to live my precious modeling career."
" This is just a trend," Gero spoke sorely hitting Ichigo in the cheek. " You can't do anything so you get me to do them for you."
Gero jumped on top of the slimy girls legs. She didn't seem to mind. Like a cat looking for attention she gently licked his neck. It
felt strangely okay to him. It calmed him away, got rid of all his fatigue he had on his journey in hell, and it
helped him drive smoother. Gero was heading straight for the road.
" We're going to make it!" Ichigo exclaimed over zealous to finally be home. " Now we can go home, live normal lives, and be good people so we never
have to see the inside of Hell ever-"
The hood of the car was ripped open by very sharp claws. A feral looking creature was standing on the car with claws the size of bear paws. The creature
grabbed Gero, Ichigo, and the slimy girl and jumped off the car. It was flying and walking at the same time. It was almost like Gero was being kidnapped
from a devil who also happened to be an olympic runner.
" Let me go! I'm am so sick of this hostile takeover BS! Whoever you are we just came from Hell and want to go home..." Gero saw who was taking him. An enemy,
no. A friend, barely. It was the one who took them up the ladder to hell. The landlord of the Hinata House. " Daisuke!"
" Daisuke Urashima is dead."