LEGEND OF ZELDA TIME LOOPS: Messing With Villains
Disclaimer: I own neither the heros, villains, oddballs, or neutral parties shown within these Loops. I also don't own most of the other stuff, though every thirty-second 'Q' is decidedly mine.
23.1
Link Awoke while fiddling with a small device. Before he had time to actually recognize whatever he was messing with, he received a sharp elbow to the ribs. Jumping, he glanced over to see Zelda, who was sitting next to him on a simple metal bench in what looked to be a sports arena. Link quickly sent out a Ping, but Zelda's face showed no recognition. He got a couple of responses, but they felt somewhat distant.
Evidently, Link hadn't given Zelda the response she was looking for. She was staring at him, and when he didn't immediately respond, she nodded her head towards the center of the arena. "Well, hurry up. You're up, and we can't afford to have you daydreaming."
Link nodded mutely and stood, walking towards the platform he could see at the edge of a large circular pit. A teenager Link didn't recognize was already waiting on the other side, and Link quickly reached for his Loop memories to have some idea about what the heck he was supposed to be doing. While doing so, he examined the small object he was holding, hoping it would give him some sort of clue.
It was a top. It was made of several stacked bits of metal, with a small picture of a pig in the center. 'Beyblade', his mind supplied, and gradually his memories unfolded. He was competing in a tournament using this small top to battle other people. The tops were powered by ancient spirits or something, and the goal was to knock them out of the ring or stop them from spinning.
Reaching the platform, Link hastily pulled his Launcher out of his pocket and attached his Beyblade to it. As he did so, he got a bit of a closer look, and suddenly recognized the beast that was marked on the center of his Beyblade. Link grinned, as one of the more muffled pings suddenly made sense. Dropping into a stance that was both familiar and odd, Link waited for the announcers call, then pulled his ripcord to start the Beyblade spinning. As the Gerudo Boar Beyblade shot into the arena, Link heard a faint, almost telepathic voice screaming.
'Iiii haaate yoooouu, heeeeroooo!'
23.2 (OathtoOblivion)
"Okay, this meeting of Looping Bad Guys Anonymous (AKA Looping BadAnon) will hereby come to order!" Wreck-It Ralph declared. "I'm Ralph, and I'll be your host for this Loop. Okay, we're going to do a roll call real quick. Just note the fact that you're here, okay?" he asked, picking up a clipboard sized for his massive 8-bit hands.
"Okay...Bowser?"
"Gwa ha ha! As if I wouldn't be here!"
"Yeah yeah...Ganondorf?"
"Hmph. Of course I'm here!"
"Dedede?"
"Hey, does the penguin even count?" Bowser questioned, jabbing his thumb in the direction of the now-irate King of Dreamland.
"HOW MANY TIMES?! NOT A PENGUIN!"
"Then what are you anyway?" Marx snickered next to Dedede.
"Guys, focus. Okay, Marx is here. Vilgax?"
"Present."
"Benedict?"
"Would it kill you to use my title?"
"Yeah, okay, fine, "Father". Mr. Xanatos?"
"Present, of course."
"Vaati?"
"..." The silence echoed throughout Ralph's house in the Fix-It Felix Jr. cabinet. Ralph looked up from the checklist to where Vaati was supposed to be sitting. Emphasis on "supposed to" because the Wind Mage was nowhere to be seen.
"Okay, can someone tell me where Vaati is?"
Meanwhile, in Sugar Rush...
"GET BACK HERE, YOU SUGARY CRETIN! RETURN MY CAPE THIS INSTANT!"
"Why the fudge would I want to do that?!" Vanellope tossed back at the irate Wind Mage, zipping off in her kart the instant she got near it. Vaati steamed, enough that the sweets that made up Sugar Rush's level design started melting.
"HEAR THIS, VANELLOPE VON SCHWEETZ! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" he yelled at the retreating princess/president of Sugar Rush.
"Wow, you really are a Bad Guy with a line like that!" Vanellope's voice was faintly hear saying. Vaati gritted his teeth, immediately transforming into his Demon Eye form and racing after her.
23.3 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
"Link, you don't even know if he's in there."
The teen looked at Navi with a bored expression, "For the last time, It's Jack O'Neill, two 'L's. Call me Jack. And let me be the cynic, alright? Even if he's not, depriving him of his base of operations is always a good idea."
With an application of chakra, 8 more Jack O'Neills appeared, shapeshifted into various members of the Stargate Program and began setting up an M-198 Howitzer. The original just turned to the fairy and smirked, "Besides, the castle is an eyesore. Who builds a castle over a volcano in this day and age? Everyone knows the latest supervillain trend is to build over a vast ocean. I'm doing Ganon a favor, really."
Navi rolled her eyes. Did this guy replacing Link take anything seriously? One of the O'Neill clones who shapeshifted to take the form of a dark skinned warrior with a golden seal on his forehead stepped away from the weapon and addressed the two, "Colonel O'Neill, we're set to rain hell upon our enemies."
O'Neill rolled his eyes and patted the clone on the shoulder, "You've got a real talent for playing Teal'c, clone...whichever. But still, you can loosen up a bit, OK? You're laying it on a bit thick."
The clone gave a small bow and returned to his place, which made O'Neill sigh, "Clones, right Navy? You create them, raise them and send them out into the world, and they come back something completely different."
"It's Navi, Link."
O'Neill shrugged, "Call me Jack, and I'll return the favor."
The gathered O'Neills came to attention in a neat line in front of their creator. O'Neill waved at them. "At ease. I'm not one for speeches, as you know, so I'll have Clone Hammond send us off."
Clone Hammond and O'Neill Prime switched places. The robust commander nodded. "Gentleclones, godspeed."
With that, the bombardment commenced. The first round hit the room at the tallest point of the tower. Though the round missed Ganon, the room itself did not survive the attack. Rubble collapsed on top of the Evil King of Hyrule, crushing him beneath the rubble. The bombardment didn't let up as it tore through wall after wall, causing more and more of the castle to crumble. Within 30 minutes, the Castle was little more than rubble. The cannon was then turned on the floating island itself. The bombardment didn't cease until the only thing that remained was a mound of dirt, melting into the active volcano below. Then, after a five minute coffee break, the bombardment resumed just to be extra safe until O'Neill finally exhausted his supply of artillery shells.
23.4 (Bardic_Knowledge)
Nissa Revane Awoke to a dream.
She stood before what appeared to be a castle wall, something she'd never truly seen in baseline, but knew from her travels with Gideon and Chandra Nalaar. A fairy floated around her as the drawbridge fell, showing her a town inside the walls, when a horse went speeding by, carrying two people, though she only caught sight of the young girl's face before they were gone. They were followed by a tall man on a black horse, what appeared to be a yellow gem on his forehead. He grinned maliciously and aimed his hand her way, obviously about to cast some sort of spell. Just as she was about to move to defend herself-
"Hello! Nissa! Wake up!"
Nissa jerked awake at the voice, and looked around. She paused momentarily at seeing that she wasn't home, before remembering what she was told about Fused Loops. That must also be why she felt so... short.
A tinkling laugh came from just over her head. "Are we Awake?" asked the voice that had awoken her.
Nissa glanced up to see a fairy hovering before her. "I don't know," she answered. "Are we, a fairy?"
"Well, I don't know about you, but I am! My name is Navi. The Great Deku Tree sent me to find you." Navi lit on Nissa's shoulder.
"Just give me a moment, I'm feeling a bit Loopy after that-"
"So you ARE a Looper! Okay, you had me kind of worried there!" said Navi.
Nissa frowned a moment from being spoken over, but nodded. "Sorry, Gideon and Chandra, two of the others from my Loop, were showing me some movies last Loop. I guess they stuck with me a bit." The smile that had grown on her face slipped a little. "Sometimes I wish the Joraga Tribe were a little less intolerant of the arts."
Navi giggled. "Well, you won't have to worry about that this Loop! You get to play magic music!"
"That does sound nice. So, what's on the agenda-" Nissa paused as a ping passed through the area. She and Navi took a moment to release their own, but felt no other replies. "-on the agenda this Loop?"
"Well, depending on who that just was, we're either going to have an easy time of it, or a rough time of it. If it was Zelda, then she'll be helping us out with our adventure, especially when we get to the future, but if it was Ganondorf, he's probably going to make things rough on us. Though, it could be Saria..."
Nissa looked at the fairy quizzically. "The future?"
"Yeah, there's a bit of a time travel thing at one point, but there's no reason to worry about it right now. Unless you don't want to go baseline?"
"I think it might be interesting, actually."
"Then follow me! The Great Deku Tree's waiting!"
As the two left, they met with Saria, who was not Awake, but was happy to see Nissa had a fairy (something she apparently lacked before Navi), but let them go on hearing their mission. Before actually going to meet with the Tree, however, Navi took her to a few places where she could get some jewels called "Rupees" that were apparently the currency around here, then to buy a shield. After that, they retrieved a sword, which Nissa felt rather uncomfortable with, having never used one before. She had no need to draw it, however, when the whole reason they had gone on the quest, Milo, just let them by on seeing the sword and shield.
After encountering her first Deku Baba, Nissa took the deku stick it dropped and smiled. Drawing on the wellspring of Green Mana inundating the Kokiri Forest, she infused the stick with it, making into an extremely sturdy staff covered in leaf patterns. She was much more comfortable with this. Navi was rather curious about what she did and did her best to explain.
In her home Loop, she was an elf of the Joraga Tribe of the plane of Zendikar, and, like most elves of her Loop, she was talented in the area of Green Mana, the colour of nature, life, growth, strength, and symbiosis. She had dabbled in the use of Black Mana, the colour of self, death, darkness, decay, and ambition, but didn't use it very often. In her baseline, she made a grievous mistake and released a powerful group of monsters that sought to devour her home. So she fought against them, infusing the land with mana in an attempt to keep it alive. Eventually, she had to go and seek out the man who had helped seal away the Eldrazi in the first place. Now that she was Looping, she was determined to be a proper hero.
They'd had to pause just out of sight of the Great Deku Tree for Nissa to finish her story, but they turned to continue, and the Tree bade them enter to defeat a parasite that had infested him. As they went through the tree, Navi walked Nissa through how Hyrule worked, particularly this era, and told her about their Anchor, the Triforce, a living artifact. Nissa found that she was almost forced to use her shield to stop certain attacks, and eventually settled into using her staff more like a spear. When Navi asked her why she didn't just use the Kokiri Sword, Nissa replied that she didn't much care for swords.
Defeating Gohma, the parasite that had infected the Tree, was easier than either fairy or elf expected, particularly since this was Nissa's first Fused Loop.
23.5
Saria shivered slightly, before mentally reminding herself that she wasn't actually cold, even though she really should be. However, the soft down she had this Loop was keeping her nice and warm.
"C'mon, Saria, we're going to lose Uncle Ramon."
"I'm coming, Erik." Saria shifted her weight as she waddled after the other two baby pergwens...peljins...penguins, that was it. Penguins. The two other penguins were her Unawake self's best friends, Erik and Atticus, and neither of them were Looping. She had Awoken while shuffling through the snow after them, apparently following another penguin, Ramon, to...somewhere. Her memories were fuzzy on the details, and she was still feeling very off balance because there were no trees. None, anywhere. Just fields of white snow, stretching on to the horizon. For a Sage of the Forest like her, it was very disconcerting. Still, the Heartsong that sprang to her memory was helping her endure by humming. Softly, as she climbed over the next snow drift, she began to sing quietly to herself.
"I see trees of green, and red roses too. I see them bloom, for me and you. And I think to myself..."
"Will! Where do you think you're going?!"
Will, a small, but determined little krill, swam as quickly as his tiny feet could carry him against the flow of the Swarm. He pushed forward, barely glancing over his shoulder at his friend, Bill. "I'm going to find it, Bill. The end of the swarm. I know it's out there, somewhere."
"You're crazy. Tell him he's crazy, Nill!" Bill rubbed his feet awkwardly as he followed Will, wincing as the other krill swam past.
"I don't know if he is crazy or not, but I am sick and tired of Looping in as small things! I mean, Fused Loops are supposed to give me a break, but no! Every single time, if I'm not the local Fairy equivalent, I'm a bug, or a dust bunny, or a Lilliputtian, or..."
"A krill?" Bill offered.
"Or a krill!" Nill, or Navi, as she was usually known, finished with a growl, her little feet stirring up much bigger currents than they should as she viciously plowed her way through the swarm next to Will and Bill. With a glance at each other, the two krill quickly gave their mutual friend a bit more room.
Saria huffed as she made her way back across the snow. First they hiked to Adelie-land and met a flying penguin, then Erik's dad showed up to haul them home (Saria thought he might be a Looper, as he called her Bodicea on accident a couple of times). They had encountered this massive Elephant Seal, and just when she was getting ready to see how well she could use chakra in this body, Erik's dad managed to talk the Seal down. They finally arrived back at Emperor-Land (how was that for melodramatic names?), only to find the whole place was trapped by an iceberg. Erik's dad hadn't seemed too worried, but he had sent her back to get the penguins from Adelie-land to come help them feed the other trapped penguins. So now, she was hauling herself across the snowy tundra for a third time.
"Hold on." She huffed, and then she worked on accessing her Pocket. It was awkward, because she was only about the size of her regular self's hand, but that was perfect for what she had in mind. She pulled a small Deku Leaf out of her pocket and rested it onto the snow in front of her. She then flopped her body on top of the leaf.
"Now, if I just push the magic like this, and try to add a bit of slippery chakra to the bottom. Whoa!" Saria had to grab hold of the stem of the leaf with her beak as the entire thing shot forward like a horse-drawn sled, wind gust away from the rear-edge of the leaf. The snow whipped by underneath her as Saria fought down the urge to laugh, as doing so would require her to let go of her grip on the leaf.
"Hey, they're doing it again!"
"What?"
"This!" Bill watched avidly as Will began tapping upside down on the ice with his feet.
"Whoa, what is that?"
"It's called dancing!"
"What's it for?"
"Maybe it's to provide a momentary relief from the existential terrors of existence."
"What?"
"It brings out my happy!"
Navi shook her head as she watched the two of them clown around, and the other krill slowly started to join in. It had been rather difficult, protecting them from Will's near suicidal drive to "become a predator", but she had managed.
'Navi, are you still there?'. Saria's mental voice shook Navi out of her wool-gathering.
'Yes, I'm here. Sorry, I just got distracted. Will and Bill started dancing.'
A feeling of laughter echoed over the telepathic link Navi had managed to establish. 'That's funny. I think this Loop might be built on dancing, because we are doing it up here too.'
Navi frowned, tilting her head. 'I think I can actually hear it. The ice above us is vibrating in a constant pattern. I think Will and Bill are actually trying to match it with the other shrimp...krill, whatever.'
'Every little bit helps, I guess. We are trying to use it to break up the iceberg that trapped the penguins.'
'What? Why didn't you mention this earlier, I could help.'
'How? You're a tiny krill under the ocean, remember?'
Navi was silent for several moments. 'I'm tiny most Loops, but does that stop me?'
'...No.'
'Darn right, now stand back.'
High above, Saria stumbled a bit from where she had been dancing next to one of the elephant seals, sending pulses of chakra into the ice and snow with each footbeat. 'Step back? Wha?'
Back in the ocean, Navi began to rotate, the water spiraling around her like a drill. Bill was the first to notice, quickly tapping Will on the exoskeleton and pointing. "Look, Nill's doing the crazy water-death-attack again!"
Will stumbled, glancing up, then shouted. "Scatter!" He and Bill still remembered just what that had done to that fish that had been chasing them...and the leopard seal behind the fish...and the iceberg behind the leopard seal...
The krill swarm quickly swam away from the ice block, and Navi, seeing the opening, dove straight up, burrowing into the ice, at the same time as she pulled on the Force.
'Lifesigns there, and there, and clustered over there. Right, so those are the dancers, and those are the penguins, and that is...a Yeti? Weird, but it is in the distance, so whatever. Right, cutting here!'
Saria blinked as a loud crack was heard, and a blast of ice and water suddenly ripped out from the side of the iceberg, causing her footing to sink a bit. 'Oh dear. That's why she said stand back.' Saria switched from pulsing her chakra to break the ice to sticking to it for safety.
THOOM!
A dozen cracks, many suspiciously straight and even, slashed out of the sides of the iceberg, leading to large chunks sliding down on waves of snow, forming a near perfect ramp up to the top. The penguins and elephant seals alike cheered, while unnoticed by all, a single krill flopped her way into a small puddle. 'Now I just need to get back down into the ocean.'
Back in the ocean, Bill and Will stared at the carved hole which Nill had disappeared into. Large chunks of ice periodically drifted down out of the hole, before floating back up to bump into the ceiling. Bill turned to Will.
"I guess Nill isn't a fan of dancing."
23.6
Midna scowled as she Awoke, before grinning slightly at the feeling of still being in an adult body. If only that Loop could have lasted a little longer, she was so close to getting some actually romantic action. Being stuck as an imp really dampened her dating prospects.
Glancing around, Midna concluded that she was in her throne room in the Twilight Realm, and given the bundle of hate and darkness that she could feel making a beeline towards her, it was just before Zant usurped her rightful throne. This was a relief, as most of her Loops started right after Zant cursed her, and while she had amassed enough resources and power to break the curse on her own, it was always extremely tedious to do so, so getting the chance to be proactive was very welcome.
The doors of the Throne Room burst open as Zant sauntered into the room. Honestly, it always made her feel a bit pathetic that she was taken down by a man who acted so much like a court jester. Still, that would not be occurring this time.
"Surrender, or don't. Heeheehee, either way, I'm taking what is mine!" Zant giggled as he spun around, his head bobbing wildly as shadowy power rolled off of him.
"Taking what is yours, hmm. Well, I have a little something to say on that matter." Midna laughed softly as she stepped forward and began to hum a simple melody. This was as good a time as any to try out her newest ability in a battle setting, and if not, she always had her other tricks to fall back on. Standing straight in front of the King of Shadows, Midna began to sing.
~Shadows, dim and grow~
~With your power bind~
~Gather every curse~
~Claim what shall be mine~
As she sung, her red hair began to darken, shadows twisting within it as is flowed down, pooling around her in a mass of curling tendrils. Zant twitched, then hurled his arms up, gathering dark energy before throwing a sphere of shadows straight at her. As it came within 10 meters of her, a lock of her hair and shadow snapped up, coiling around the projectile, and drained it away. Midna smirked, and then sang the second verse as her hair leapt forward.
~My dominance assert~
~Rewrite the fates' design~
~Extract my vengeance cost~
~Claim what shall be mine~
~What shall be mine~
Tendrils of shadow and hair twisted in knots around a bound and struggling Zant, his power draining away and into Midna. During her time as Rapunzel last loop, she had gained the standard, hair-based healing powers. However, given her nature, she wasn't really all that comfortable with light-based magics, and the healing of the Magical Golden Flower of the Sun was certainly light-based. So, she had tried inverting it, using similar words as a structure for the power.
It had worked better than she could have hoped. Whereas Rapunzel's healing strengthened and empowered those affected by it, her Shadow Binding weakened and drained them. Some of the power went to her, while some of it was simply dispersed away into shadow.
Either way, it was a matter of minutes before Zant was reduced to an unconscious heap. Ganondorf, Awake or not, was far too jealous of his power to lend out much of it, so it was simple for a Looper of her experience to drain it away. Once Zant collapsed, Midna ceased feeding power to the Shadow Binding, and used her typical hair control to lift and carry Zant behind her, taking him down to the dungeons. Several of her guards lay moaning from where Zant had knocked them aside, but they did their best to salute as she passed, and she smiled lightly at them. It wasn't their fault they weren't able to handle one overpowered opponent.
Midna brushed her hands as she locked the cell behind her, despite not have used them for much of anything since Awakening. Now that all of that was wrapped up, she would see about ensuring Ganondorf didn't corrupt any of her other subjects, maybe arrange for a rematch of their last tennis match if he was Awake, and then see about visiting Zelda. Midna paused at one of the mirrors set along the side of the corridor, to ensure that her hair was all back to the proper length, then froze.
"Oh, not cool."
Zelda jumped slightly as a cloud of shadow swirled in front of her, quickly drawing her sword to defend herself, before the darkness coalesced into a familiar figure.
"Oh, Midna. You startled me. So you handled Zant then?"
Midna nodded, her voice light. "Indeed. It was quite simple, and I believe Ganondorf is Awake, as I found no sign of him on my way out." She broke off and muttered something under her breath which Zelda didn't catch, due to both the low volume and the new fashion accessory she was wearing.
"Midna, why do you have a veil over your mouth? Do the Twili have a new fashion custom this Loop?" Zelda's voice was somewhat eager, as, despite not being quite as fashion and clothing obsessed as some, she still liked to try new fashions, and having handy disguises was always useful.
"Not quite." Midna was definitely reluctant, but she finally reached up and pulled the veil down to reveal her face. Zelda immediately had to stifle her giggles, with Midna's disgruntled expression doing little to help quell her amusement. Reaching up, Midna rubbed her nose, which was unmistakably pointed up into a pig snout, and ran her tongue across the two small, but still prominent tusks that extended up from her lower jaw.
"It seems that Ganondorf attempted to influence my cursed form this Loop, and that some of the curse bled through my method of taking down Zant." Midna frowned, resisting the urge to snort, while idly spearing one of her hair strands through the lens of the camera Zelda had surreptitiously pulled out of her Pocket.
23.7 (Detective Ethan Redfield)
Link looked at the unconscious form of Talon, once again sleeping just outside the waterway. Link gave him a half lidded glance in annoyance. He had just come off a loop where he was abusive father to Malon in the hub world. Of course, he had ended the problem fairly quickly, but his annoyance still carried over into this new loop. So he decided to rid it in the most peaceful way possible. He put his foot on his overweight midsection, and give a very firm push, right into the moat surrounding Hyrule Castle.
Seconds later, the older man was splashing and shouting, "Can't a...*blub*...guy get some shut...*cough*...eye around here?"
23.8 (Kishou the Badger)
In a village by the outskirts of Hyrule, there was a farm. A farm run by Malon, whose father prided himself on the most delicious Moo Moo Milk people can by. It was also the home of Epona, the noble steed of the Hero of Time.
But more importantly, in this particular loop, it was assisted by Rolf, son of a shepherd who took care of the other barn animals as well as the cows. Wilfred the pig, Victor the goat... and cuccos. Hordes and hordes of cuccos.
The first time he tried being rough with the cuccos was... educational, to say the least. But he survived and had since then herd them under his command and call, which was a first for any successful cucco farmer (at least in this particular loop). He was just getting a bag of seeds to feed them when he heard three (unfortunately) familiar voices greet him.
"Hello, Rolf!"
Rolf looked over his shoulders and felt his spirits drop. "Oh, hello Ed-boys."
The Eds too were looped into this timeline, and dressed fittingly like villagers from down the road. Eddy, the ever money-seeking fool, smirked as he unrolled a poster. "We heard there was a position opening for assistant farm hand, so we were just thinking we could lend one. Ed's, that is."
"That position has since then been taken," Rolf said. "Besides, Rolf hasn't forgotten the last time Rolf hired you Ed boys to help at Rolf's farm."
"Ah come on, that episode was twenty years ago!"
"Thirteen, Eddy," Double D corrected.
"To put it simply, you were, and still are, a nincompoop, and I wouldn't trust you anywhere near Miss Malon's cows, let alone her cuccos."
"Cuccos? Oh, you mean the-"
"CHICKEEEEEEEEEN!" Ed cried in bliss, ready to charge and hug the white birds-
Until Rolf's extended foot tripped him as he fell face flat to the dirt ground. "So sorry tall Ed-boy, but even if you were once my turkey-eye, the mere cucco is much too dangerous for the likes of yourself."
Eddy shrugged nonchalantly. "What's so different about a flightless bird, anyway? Ed's a natural at chicken rounding." He pulled up Ed's head and patted it, who started salivating like an eager dog.
"I warn you Ed boys," Rolf said seriously. "The cucco is not to be trifled with."
"Then let us help you," Eddy smirked. "For just 25, uh, well..." he turned to Double D with an unasked question.
"Rupees, Eddy."
"For just 25 rupees, we can give you the day off and round your Hylurian chickens! Whaddya say?"
Rolf opened his mouth to shoot down Eddy's insane offer, but stopped. He looked back to the cuccos, acting innocent and stupid like regular grazing chickens. Then he turned back to the Eds, seemingly eager for what appears to be an easy scam. "You... want to help with the cuccos?"
"Am I speaking French here?!"
"Pet the chicken, pet the chicken, pet the chicken, pet the chicken-"
Rolf thought for another moment, and then smiled. "Let Rolf do your petty offer one better, short-stop Ed-boy," he replied. "Rolf will be willing to part with all of Rolf's life savings since starting at Moo Moo Farm-"
At this, he pulled out a hefty chest from behind his back and opened it, revealing a treasure trove of Rupees of every color. Green, Blue, Red, Purple, Gold, and even large green ones that were slated every so casually in the sea of gems. All of the Ed's faces glowed at what was the best site they've seen since Kevin's garage full of Jawbreakers.
"JAWBREAKER CITY, HERE I COME!" Eddy squealed, his hands reached in to scoop as many Rupees as he could.
Only for the chest to slam not so gently on his arms before he could take a single one out. With a yelp, Eddy plucked his hands out of the slim space of the chest to reveal his hands horribly and comically dented to look like the top outline of the chest.
"Rolf wasn't finished~!" the shepherd sang teasingly, much to Eddy's chagrin. "Rolf will part with chest of hard earning Rupees... if Ed-boys can successfully manage the round-up of cuccos for the rest of the day without Rolf's help."
The Eds exchanged confused glances, before turning to the still smiling farmer. "That's it?" Eddy asked.
"That's it," Rolf nodded. "Oh, and if you fail this trial, you are forced to work under Rolf's wing, for free, for the rest of the loop. Deal?"
Normally, someone would wise up at a deceptively easy goal and what might turn out to be a deviously evil prank. But Eddy had seen and touched a vast amount of wealth for a few seconds. He was mystified and enamored by the thought of even having that much money. So before anyone (especially Double D) could say anything else that would change his mind, he struck his hand out with a triumphant smile. "SOLD!"
"But Eddy-!"
"Ed, you big lug: round up the chickens!"
"FINALLY!" the large boy jumped and cheered before bolting at inhuman speeds to glomp his favorite animals. The cuccos took one second to stare up the charging chicken lover before squawking and flapping away as hard as they could. Ed missed his intended target, jumping on a patch of empty dirt, but recovered quickly before laughing and running in his default posture towards the running cuccos. Double D called out his name and hurried after him, having a sinking feeling something would go wrong.
"Heheheh, sucker," Eddy and Rolf both smirked to themselves as they left in opposite directions.
Thirty minutes later, the hero Link and his fairy companion Navi arrived to buy some milk, which would gave him and Rolf time to get acquainted. Or it was supposed to, for when Malon brought Link over to Rolf's side of the farm, they saw him leaning back against the fence with a smug grin watching... what could be best described as a tidal wave of cuccos crashing on three screaming idiots.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"NOT CHICKEN! NOT CHICKEN! NOT CHICKEN!"
"OH LORD IT'S IN MY HAAAAAAAAAAAT!"
"ROLF! HELP US!"
"Ooh? Does Ed-boy mean to revoke his bet and forfeit?"
"YES! I GIVE I GIVE! JUST STOP THIS CHICKEN MADNESS ALREADY!"
"Aaaaah, music to Rolf's ears," the shepherd smiled. He casually took a glass of Moo Moo Milk, guzzled it down and set it down after finishing it. A few seconds later, his calm smiling demeanor changed to a rapid screaming warrior suddenly brandishing a shovel. "FACE THE WRATH OF THE SON OF A SHEPHERD, YOU BIRDS OF PREY!"
Malon, Link, and Navi watched in stunned silence as he charged through the fray, single-handedly fighting back a literal wave of cuccos that had more often than not killed a foolish looper or two. Though it was by no means a decisive turnabout, it was more of an even match between two scary forces... which was rare in itself.
"Why don't we try sending him after Ganondorf this loop?" Navi suggested.
23.9 (Thanatos' Scribe)
Link blinked as he Awoke, in both senses of the term, from a voice calling him to get up.
"Hello, hello?"
Link stiffened as he heard the voice speak before sitting straight up, his eyes snapping open in fear of an Unawake animatronic about to attack him. However, any thoughts of him being at Freddy's Pizzeria were instantly dispelled, as he instead found himself sitting in his bed in Kokiri Village.Perhaps it was just a dream?, He thought, then shook his head. No, it had been a while since he had Awoken in any of the Fazbear Loops, so why would he be think of the Phone Guy now?
"Um, hello?"
Link stiffened once more as he heard the voice again, before slowly looking up. Where he would have usually seen Na'vi alight in a blue aura, he instead saw a light-purple fairy staying near the ceiling.
"Hey, if you're Awake, we better get going," the fairy continued, "You don't want to get thrown in a Loop when we, y'know, go to see the Great Deku Tree. He really needs to see you." After a few seconds of Link not replying passed before the fairy began to panic, saying to himself, "That was the proper phrasing, wasn't it? I hope I didn't-"
"Phone Guy?!" Link asked incredulously, and the Awake fairy stiffened before relaxing, turning to the other Looper.
"Oh, so you're Awake?" The now-named Phone Guy said, "That's a relief."
"But, when did you begin Looping?" Link asked.
"It was rather recent. Only about 4 to 5 Loops ago. Or at least, that's what I counted it out to be," Phone Guy said, before flying out the window. "Now c'mon!" He shouted back to Link, "You coming or not?" Link looked at the airborne Looper before nodding and running out of the door. This would certainly be a Loop to remember…
23.10 (Awesomedude17)
Link put on a pair of goggles and then a pair of earplugs.
"Link, what are you doing?" Navi asked.
"As much as Malon's a crazy person, I cannot ignore the fact that the Hylian Shield is absurdly strong, so we're going up gradually to see how strong it actually is."
"That explains the revolver."
"Yeah. You have no idea how hard it was to find a left handed model."
"Can you even use it?"
"I've been to firearms loops. I can manage." Link cocked the hammer.
"By the way, cover your ears."
Navi did so.
*BANG*
The bullet deflected off of the shield and hit a cucco.
It cawed.
Link quickly turned away and sprinted away.
"Oh... FuuuuuaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"
22.5 cont.
Zelda landed heavily on the a hillock in Termina Field, panting lightly with exertion. Quickly, she pulled a series of potions out of her Pocket, uncapping each with magic and draining them one after another. She sighed as she felt the magic of the potions moving through her, healing the injuries she had received and filling her magic once more. She couldn't take too many more or she would hit the point of diminished returns, but she was hoping it wouldn't come to that. Unfortunately, it didn't appear that she was going to get her hope.
She turned to peer up into the sky, calling on a vision enhancement spell to see clearer, and watched as the Fierce Deity battled with the Mothership of "Them" that she had managed to trick into firing on him. Zelda still wasn't sure where "They" came from, but she wasn't sorry to see them get taken down, given what they would do to poor Romani given half a chance.
Zelda frowned as she glanced over her armor, before pushing out her magic to repair it into a full Phantom Suit. After she had hit the Fierce Deity with Excalibur, she had followed up with a barrage of magic, including Ultima, Radiant Lance, and a Dragon Slave-knockoff that Nanoha had shown her. The end result was the Fierce Deity crashing down and making a massive crater in the middle of Ikana. However, by the time Zelda had reached the edge of the crater, the Fierce Deity was already back on his feet and healing. His follow-up taunt had reminded her of what Link had been bragging about the Loop before last, about how he had set up an Pocket-based Heartflower Auto-garden, allowing him to gather and use the energy of large numbers of Heartflowers very quickly.
Heartflowers were a pretty common plant in Hyrule, and their healing powers were typically only good for minor cuts and scrapes, but Link had become very adept at wringing out as much power as he could from them, and often used them as a handy alternative to potions. And now it appeared that the Fierce Deity was reaping the benefits.
Zelda was brought out of her musings as a loud crash sounded overhead, and the Mothership vanished in a flash of light, trailing a stream of sparkles. The Fierce Deity threw out a single slash of energy after it, before twisting in midair to face down at Zelda. Zelda quickly pulled out her version of the Wind Waker as well as one of her wands as the Fierce Deity dove down towards.
Haunting music rose around her as Zelda spun the wind into a raging pillar, smashing the newly-formed tornado up into the descending Deity. After twisting the tornado to more or less trap him in place, Zelda began rapid fire casting as many spells as she could think of into the center of the tornado. She focused on energy draining spells, with multiple castings of Expelliarmus just in case. She didn't actually think the spell would succeed in disarming the Deity of its sword, or of disarm Link of the Deity's mask, but it was worth a try, at least.
The Fierce Deity ripped apart the tornado holding him with several large swipes of his sword, ignoring most of the spells peppering him, and quickly dropped down, this time arriving in front of Zelda with a crash. Zelda blocked the dirt with a flickering magical shield, and then had to dart to the side to avoid a sword strike.
"You are so cowardly, yet brave. What a hopeless contradiction!" The Fierce Deity crooned as he continued to slash at her. "Needing others to fight your battles, yet not running when you have a chance."
Zelda didn't say anything, responding instead with a high-powered Light Arrow. The Fierce Deity batted it aside with his open hand.
"Poor Zelda, can't even stand on her own two feet. Has to rely on 'the Light of the Goddesses' to even have a chance, and when she meets someone who doesn't fear her shiny thorns," The Fierce Deity chuckled as an overly large bomb appeared in his hand, "she just goes all to pieces." Zelda's eyes widened as the Fierce Deity tossed the bomb towards her. She recognized it as one of Link's 'special blends', incorporating several unstable magical matrices in it to enhance the explosive power. Suddenly, an impulsive thought struck, and Zelda quickly pulled a bug net out of her Pocket. She could only laugh as she swung the net hard, and with an odd pop, the bomb went soaring back the way it had come. The Fierce Deity's sneer of condescension dropped in favor of a look of utter shock, before the bomb detonated in his face.
Zelda orbed backwards to escape the blast, using the Whitelighter technique both for its low cost, and for the fact that she knew Link had yet to find a way to counter it. She kept her eyes peeled for more energy beams and thanked Link mentally for the dodging training he insisted she work on him with. She had gotten rather good at dodging beams fired from swords.
Zelda lifted one hand to her forehead as she felt a pressure build behind her temple, before suddenly grinning fiercely. It seemed that her reinforcements had finally arrived.
The Fierce Deity scowled as he swung his blade to disperse the smoke. This princess-godling was proving much more annoying that he had expected, but he needed to crush her if he wished to be able to act freely. The Admins he had caught glimpses of in his vessel's memories would be a problem, but he had had much experience slaying gods, and it seemed his vessel had as well. This would be well-worth the effort if he could succeed.
"Oh Link, what mess have you got yourself in this time?"
The Fierce Deity turned to spy one of Farore's little spawns darting around by his head. It seemed vaguely familiar to his vessel, perhaps his companion? "Begone, insect, before I swat you."
The fairy hung still for a moment, before it twitched. "I'm sorry Link, but this is going to hurt quite a bit."
"Your companion is," the Fierce Deity wasn't able to continue, as he had to duck to keep from losing his head as a massive crescent of energy swept out from the tiny fairy. The Deity caught a glimpse of metal (a tiny sword?), before the fairy struck again, darting forward and cutting out with a blade of swirling winds that was as long as the Deity was tall. The Fierce Deity brought his blade around, energy flaring off it, only for the insect to dart past his spinning beam and then dart in between the twisted blades of his sword.
"Hooah, things are gonna get easier!" The fairy began to sing as it darted past him, up and down, left and right, its tiny blade ripping out to cut long gashes in the flesh of his vessel. The healing power he had tapped continued to renew his body, but he just couldn't hit the tiny irritant. "Hoosha, things are gonna get brighter!"
"You efforts are futile. Though you may wield the winds, I shall crush you."
The small fairy buzzed derisively, "I succeeded in distracting you, didn't I?"
The Fierce Deity had only time to blink, before a massive spike of energy rose behind him. He spun, bringing his blade around, only for the fairy to dart in the way and block his sword, somehow managing to stop his swing entirely. Regardless, the Fierce Deity twisted to view the new threat.
Standing behind him, Midna, in her true form, smiled serenely, the flame of the Phoenix Shard she still wielded from her time as Rachel Summers burning around her. "Hello," her voice was calm, but carried a note of steel, "I think you have stolen something of mine. I want it back." Her words had barely reached the Fierce Deity's ears when her psychic power smashed into his mind, dragging with it the minds of both Zelda and Navi.
If they couldn't beat him down physically, they would take him out mentally.
23.'Pool' (Awesomedude17)
Link knew he would be having a bad loop not five minutes into this one, simply because of one companion this adventure.
"Are we there yet?" Deadpool asked for the umpteenth time.
'Epona, help me now.' Link thought to himself.
"Man, what kind of name is Awesomedude17? This guy sounds like a real narcissist tool, eh?"
"Shut up, Deadpool!"
23.1 - This certainly puts a new spin on their relationship.
23.2 - A fairly unconventional villainous convention.
23.3 - Cutting the Gordian Knot...with Explosions.
23.4 - Nissa has beaten gods, so an overgrown spider is barely a warm-up.
23.5 - The Songs of Nature echo, even in the most desolate of places. So do the Songs of Violence, but poets don't tend to write as much about those songs.
23.6 - Midnapunzel, please don't let down your hair!
23.7 - The disposition of parents in the Loops are, unfortunately, often a toss-up.
23.8 - "NOT A CHICKEN!"
23.9 - Seven Years in Hyrule
23.10 - Hyrulean Mythbusting, Amateur Edition
22.5 cont. - The battle is joined, and now changes fields.
23.'Pool' - Deadpool Attacks "Attacks? I didn't attack anything. You know who attacked? Lord Circey, with that cliffhanger up there. You know what I'm talking about."