Chapter 42
Kayla caught her later on in the day – she was Kayla – and she was not going to let it rest.
Kim wished before her sister had so much as opened her mouth they could have had this conversation on a different day.
"Why is it that I keep catching you looking at me in a most odd way?" said Kayla as she came in to the kitchen at the pub.
At long last she had been able to catch Kim on her own which she had feared she was not going to get a chance to all day.
It was not as if the Brady bunch did not number many when they all got together. It was rare there was a chance to get a private word in as Kayla had hoped they were going to do. And now they had.
"I do not know what you mean," said her sister as she tried to put her off with a bright smile.
"I think you do."
Kayla did not want to put her on the spot but she did not want to allow this weirdness to feaster between them either.
Kim looked at her and it took Kayla no time at all to register the tears in her eyes.
"Oh what is it?"
"I just feel as if I have been no good to you at all through this entire thing. I feel as if I should have helped you more."
Kayla thought back to what she had said to Steve that morning about wanting a day off from it all…. She wished she had been able to have that but she knew that the ones she loved were living under the shadow of everything quite as much as she was.
Now she had given her statement to the police in fact she felt a lot light about it all than she had since the whole nightmare had begun and as such it did not hold the power which it had done over her.
But what she was sad to see was it did still hold power over those she loved.
Without a doubt she knew she would be the same because she had been when it had had happened to Stephanie. She had felt as if because she was her mother she should have been there to stop her from getting hurt and up to that very day she believed that had to be true and she wished with her whole heart there was a way to change what had happened to her daughter.
But if her family had not been there in the moment to stop it from happening in the first place, by god they had been there to help her in the response.
Kayla felt her heart sink as she realised her big sister had felt much the same as Hope had and she felt the same need to strangle Grayson for her as well.
But it was nearly at an end now.
Part of her wondered if she should be angry that they were all turning to her with her grief for what had happened and their apologies. It was not as if they helped her. It was not as if changed what had happened. But she knew they were heart felt and at the end of the day when she had been able to report that man to the police she had been able to do something about it - whereas too many people in her family felt they were powerless over what had gone on.
She had felt that powerless when those she loved had been hurt and she had hated it just as much.
"I am going to tell you what I told Hope – it is not your fault."
"But I know you and I know the signs. Why did I not see it?"
"Oh Kim… it was because I did not want you too."
For a long time she had hoped it was all going to go away. It was only after she had got used to the idea it not she had faced facts.
"But I should have been there to help you."
"When I was lying in that hospital bed you were right there by my side – believe me sister – you were there for me."
And she had not stopped being there since.
"And you are still here. And we are spending this wonderful day together, just as Pop would have wanted us too. And if you think you can do anything greater for me than that then you're wrong."
Kim sighed as she swallowed. Kayla bringing out their father had affected her the way it always did. She missed Shawn. But then so did the entire family.
Yet if there was one thing she had to do now she had confessed to feeling guilty, it was to listen to Kayla had get passed it. She was not going to shadow this day for her if she could help it.
The sisters looked knowingly at each other.
"I love you for wanting to take care of me."
"You're my baby sister – I will always want to take care of you."
"And if I know you at all Kimberly Brady, you will." Kayla said with a wink which told her sister it was time for to get back to the party.
They had already spent too much time that day being sad.
X x x
Hope and Ciara had had a great Christmas. It was the best they had had for years. It had begun with a visit to Doug and Julies at the start of the day and then they had gone on to join the Brady Christmas after.
Hope had not realised just how much she had missed having Bo Brady there. She was more than able to walk in to a room full of Brady's on her own but having him there with her felt right. Not that she had ever felt for a moment that she was not family there but there was no good in denying the fact he was her link to them all.
She was not sure if she was yet ready to say it – but it was the truth. They felt right.
And she felt as if that was the case for her daughter as well.
Of course Ciara was a Brady by blood as well as nature so she was never going to worry about being with her own, but she did seem as if she had a little extra sparkle when she was with her dad again.
After she had watched her have a chat with her cousin and wished she was close enough to know what the two of them were saying, Hope watched her daughter go over to her grandmother and father and sit with them for a while. She did not think she was ever going to be able to say her child had lacked confidence but she was more confident than she had been this year of that her mother was sure.
But as all great things did – it came to an end.
"I think we are going to head off now," she said to Bo at last. It was getting late and the family group had begun to break off already so it was not as if they were going to be the first to go but what hit her was how reluctant she was to go without him.
It was the moment which Bo had been dreading for most of the day.
He had had the best Christmas he had had in a long time – and it was because he was with his girls.
But he was not going to push.
"Ok – well let me see you guys out to car." He was not going to let his daughter or Hope for that matter out of his sight until he really had to.
He loved them both so much it hurt him.
Hope swallowed. For a moment she truly had to consider what she was going to do but there was a voice in her which said she did not want them to split up that night, that she did not want him to leave them at the car so she would not let it happen.
"Why don't you come back to the house with us?" she asked lowly.
She did not want Ciara to hear if he was not going to but it took Bo no time to nod in agreement that yes he would go with them.
Once they got back to their house it was not long until Ciara hit the stairs. She had had a wonderful day with her family and now she had the chance to go to bed knowing both her mother and her father were in the house when she shut her eyes and that was not something which she was going to take for granted for it did not happen these days.
And she reminded herself it very much was a one off as she did not want to get excited about it at all. That would not do.
Below, Hope grabbed two glasses and a bottle of wine.
"I was about to say I do not think I could have another thing but it would be rude not too," he said as he looked at the bottle.
And a drink with his Fancy Face did seem the best way to end the holiday.
"It would be very rude!" she reassured him making him laughing as she got the wine opener, then lead him through to the coach.
She was suddenly very aware that though for the past few months, more and more it had just been hers and Ciara's, that once upon a time this had been his home as well.
It was the house where they had had their kids –Zack and Shawn and Chelsea and they had so much history here.
It felt nothing short of right for him to be back.
"Here," she said as she passed him a full glass.
"Thank you, Hope." He nodded as the two of them toasted.
"What are we toasting to?"
"To Christmas and then New Year!" she said as she tried to keep it light hearted.
There was no need for them to toast to anything more serious when they had two such perfectly good excuses right there.
"Well I am going to drink to that. We had a fabulous day didn't we?"
She nodded. She could not remember a better one in recent years - that was for sure.
It was nice to be with the Brady's for it again and she had been able to see what it meant to her mother in law to have all of her babies under one roof again.
It was a pleasure which had been denied to Caroline too often of late and Hope thought they were going to have to change that in the New Year for it was not as if she was getting any younger.
They had a duty to make it all count for her as she got older so that when the time did come when she could go back to the father of her children, she was going to have a great deal of fabulous stories to take with her.
But those thoughts were not for that night.
No, all she had to think about was how well everyone looked and how obviously thrilled they all were to be back together and how right it felt for her to have one Mr Bo Brady right by her side.
"What a year it has been!" he said as the two of them sat side by side at the end of it.
"Well I am not going to disagree with you there." She sighed. A lot of it had been good but there had been so much bad as well. She was not going to be sad to see the back of it and had high hope that things were going to be better for them next year.
"You know it is odd to think where I was last Christmas. What a fool I was, we all were." Him, Jack, Steve, Shane. "I do not know why I keep getting it wrong. Why we all kept getting it wrong."
"Well in your case it is because you are a Brady and that means you have a thick head." She was not going to mention the fact he had the added handicap of being a Kiriakis to boot.
He laughed.
"True."
"Well you seemed to have figured it out now." she believed he had – she really did. The way he had fought for Ciara and for Kayla told him all she needed to know about the way that he felt about their family.
He looked at her very seriously and nodded for it was very important to him that she understood that he absolutely had and he was not going to be changing back again.
He was not going to be leaving her and he was not going to be messing about on things which were other than there family.
Nothing else was worth it.
"I have."
She nodded.
"I am glad to hear it. I do not invite just any man to come back to my house and drink wine with me you know." She said almost teasingly but she knew the two of them were something which she was not going to be joking about or should not be.
They were so precious.
"I want you our daughter's life, in my life," said Hope as she put her hands through his hair. It felt better than she had imagined, being able to touch him like this again.
Words did not describe it.
He could feel her hot breathe on his face as he had imagined he was able to so many times when he had been away.
And then when he had got back he had feared the very worst – that the time when the two of them could be together like this was over good and nothing in the world was going to bring it back.
But something had brought it back to him and he was convinced it was the love the two of them shared between them… it was the strongest thing in the world which he knew and he was sure only that was going to able see them through the day of their lives.
Tether, they threw through caution to the wind and it was not long until he was kissing her as he had done when they were young. It had been a while but he was glad to see they both remembered how to do it.
At first the kisses which he had offered her had been tender for the last thing in the world which he wanted to do when they were so close was something was to overwhelm her.
But it was then he could feel her pulling on him, to come closer and closer.
She had missed him more than words could say and so she was reduced to showing him that with her body.
Bo was more than happy with that.
There had been a time when he had thought he was never going to get to hold her in his arms once more.
That time as gone thank the lord.
He picked her up and the two of them headed towards the stairs, but then he stopped. Their young daughter was up there and he was not going to be part of confusing her any more.
"You have to be sure Fancy Face."
If he went up those stairs then the one thing he knew, he was not going to want to be coming back down them that night. He was going to want to sleep in his own bed next to his own wife and then their little one was going to know he had been home for the whole night.
If he went once more she was going to be hurt and angry and it was going to undo so much of the good he had begun to do with Ciara. As much as he loved Hope though – and by god did he love Hope – he found he was unable to risk him and Ciara for her.
Their little one was his daughter and she had to come first.
But she was her mother's daughter as well so Hope understood what he was saying and she continued to kiss him as fervently as she had done before.
This was game on.
For months and months he had been back in Salem.
But it was only as the two of them went up the stairs he felt as if he was going home. And that was because he was home. He headed the two of them in the direction of the room they had shared for so much of their married life and it felt to him as if his body was a little weak at the thought of spending a night in his own bed with her but for the first time that evening an unpleasant thought came into his mind in the form of Aiden Jennings. It was true since he and Hope had been there, another man had lain with her and in there bed.
But Bo told himself that none of that was going to matter to either of them now as time went on. What was going to matter to them both was the fact he was back.
That was where he was staying.
He placed her on the bed, crawled on beside her and looked down on her for just a moment. The kissing stopped for a moment as they touched one another's faces and looked in to each other's eyes and hoped that everything that they did right then was going to turn out for the best but found they would be unable to stop it even if it wouldn't.
"I love you." He whispered lowly, almost choked with emotion.
"I love you." Her return was much the same.
Then they did begin to kiss once more and their wondering hands sort warm flesh and as Christmas night faded into boxing day, Bo and Hope Brady felt a contentment in their souls they had not felt for an age.
X x x
Hope woke up the next morning and for a moment she felt a sense of peace within in her which she had not felt for so long. A sense of belonging. She had known this feeling before – it was a sense of de ja vu. She had had it for the first time when she had been just a teen yet it had been so long since she had felt it, she had feared she was never going to get to do so again.
It took her a moment to realise what had happened and why she had got to feel like this once more. Then she remembered the night before.
She had taken Bo Brady back in to her life and then back in to her bed. Hasn't she?
She opened one eye lid to see if she was right and yes she was, he was right there next to her in their own bed and it felt as if everything was just – wonderful.
She reached out to his sleeping form to find he really was real.
It was the best Christmas present she had had in a long time.
And one she would cherish forever.
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