A/T: This chapter was part of the reason I wrote this story. The scene that actually inspired will take place in a next chapter. As always your support means a lot to me and your comments make me really happy!

Enjoy!

Deeks parked right outside of her house determined to make up for his huge mistake but suddenly, he started having second thoughts. Memory or no memory, his partner remained Kensi Blye. Not only an agent, but a woman disappointed by her man.

Even if she was not aware of their relationship status, three weeks ago in that airplane she expected something from him.

Comfort and support.

Something that he miserably failed to deliver. He wouldn't blame her if she kicked him out of her house without giving him a chance to explain.

He hated to admit it to himself, but a part of him hoped she would act like that. He was deeply afraid and really not good at explanations. He would have to describe how their partnership turned into something deeper. Something that none of them expected. It turned into real love.

He would have to explain his fears of failure. He feared the day he would fail to protect her. He feared the day he would fail to support her. He feared the day he would fail to give her the love she deserved.

Suddenly, the realization hit him. He had actually faced all those fears and he survived. He got to live another day and beg for forgiveness.

He let out a deep breath that he hadn't realized he was holding, and got out of the car. Within seconds, he was already standing in front of door persistently knocking it.

"Please open up," he kept mumbling until his prayer was heard and the door opened slightly.

She wasn't expecting him. The surprised look on her face gave her away.

"What are you doing here?" she asked using her hand as a barrier between Deeks and the entrance.

"Hmmm…I didn't see you at work….and I thought you were coming back today….so I thought I should check on you. You know…make sure you are good," the long pauses between his words were cute but Kensi didn't let that affect her.

"I am fine," she snapped.

Deeks smiled knowing her all too well and looked deep into her eyes "You are not fine. If you were indeed fine you would have used another word like, good or ok or perfect…Any other word but fine!"

"So, are you always this cocky?"

Deeks tilted his head giving her his adorable grin "Yes!"

"Well, if you knew me that well, you would know that I needed my partner to help me out during this period."

Wow he knew she was getting mad at him. The vain on her forehead was starting to pop out, a clear sign of anger or deep sorrow. In this case, perhaps it was both.

"I know, and I am sorry! I was just going through some stuff and I needed some time alone," he kept staring at the floor not sure if he should tell her the truth about her mission in Afghanistan.

"Going through some stuff? Really? I have no recollection of the last five years. I remember being happily engaged, but I came back to an empty house. I didn't even remember this house. I spent hours trying to find where the freaking pot was. I remember my partner was Sullivan O'Neil, but I found out he quit because he couldn't stand working with me. I remember my father's death. I remember looking into it, I remember not believing for a second that it was an accident but I can't find peace knowing that I got his killer. Because I simply can't remember it. So, don't you dare tell me you were going through some stuff."

"I killed my own brother," the words escaped his lips before he could hold them back.

Kensi's body froze at the sound of that confession. Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened in utter shock. She couldn't find the right words to respond to this. His eyes made it crystal clear that he wasn't joking. He was telling the truth.

"Ok," she removed her hand from the door "you win."

She opened the door wide open urging him with her hand to step inside.

That was all the invitation he needed. He picked his gaze from the floor and quickly walked in the house. He expected to step into the familiar bombarded living room, but to his surprise, everything was clear and clean. No clothes tossed around, no plates with leftovers on the coffee table, no knives hanging around….nothing. Everything was perfectly organized.

"What the hell?" he tangled his fingers through his hair astonished "What happened to this place?"

"I don't know what you mean," Kensi shrugged her shoulders and sat on the couch.

"Oh I think you know what I mean. This was not how you left your house," he stated, carefully scouting the rest of the room.

"How would you know?" she squinted her eyes.

"I am your partner remember? I've been here before. Anyway, these are for you," he handed her a bouquet of red roses that he had been hiding behind his back this whole time.

"I hate flowers," she bluntly responded tossing the flowers on the coffee table.

Deeks laughed and sat next to her, keeping a safe distance between their bodies.

"You Kensalina, claim to hate flowers but truth is, you love them."

That was true. She knew that was true, so she suppressed the smile that was beginning to form on her lips. Did this man really know her that well?

"You didn't answer my question though," Deeks kept his rumbling going on "What made you want to sweep this place clean. It looks like Mr. Muscle took a three days vacation in here."

"What are you implying? That I am a slob?" she tried to sound offended and angry, but all the managed to do was look more adorable than ever in his eyes.

"Not a slob exactly. More like a hoarder."

"What?" she exclaimed and paused for a moment before hitting him on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" he let out a small cry of pain holding his aching shoulder, and for a moment everything was like it used to be. For a moment he forgot that his partner didn't even know that this "shoulder punch" was her trade mark.

She couldn't possibly understand the huge effect this small gesture had on him. Was it a sign that she was slowly coming back to him, or was it a pure reflex? Whatever it was, it made him realize how much he had missed this. The sound of her laugh, the scent of her body, their playful banter, her sort temper…Everything!

"I am not a hoarder ok?" she started firmly "In order to organize my memories, I needed to organize my life first. Anyway, it made sense to me," she shook her head not in the mood to explain herself.

"Ok," he whispered and laid back comfortably on the couch "You said you needed my help, so here I am. How can I help you now?"

"By telling me everything you know about me. Everything I don't even know."

"This is challenging, but once we are done you will have to reconsider your whole existence."

"I am not afraid," she crossed her hands "so bring it on."

"I'll start with the easy ones. Did you remember you had a tattoo?"

Kensi's cheeks flushed in shock and embarrassment "No I didn't. The questions is, how do you know?"

Deeks smiled in amusement "Because we sort of got them together."

"What?" Kensi's jaw dropped "You are lying!"

"Am I? Then how do I know you have a snowflake high up your thigh?" he grinned.

"You must have seen it while I was changing in Ops….."

"We have separate locker rooms."

"Then, you saw it while we were at the beach or something while we were on an undercover assigment….."

"I am sorry to disappoint you but again, it's a no! The tattoo is strategically placed up your thigh so that it's covered by your underwear. "

"What's the point in having a tattoo and keeping it hidden?"

"We decided to get them after a long conversation we had."

"About what?"

Deeks face suddenly turned serious "You know that our job…what we do….is extremely dangerous. "

"Yeah, I am still tasting that danger," she smiled sadly.

"We needed a trade mark, so that we could recognize each other in case something…bad happened."

Suddenly everything became clear to Kensi "Bad like….we end up dead in a ditch and our bodies are so disfigured that they can't recognize us?"

"Yeah, something like that," he nodded.

"There is always a DNA test you know?" she tried to lighten the sudden change of mood.

"A DNA Test would be extremely difficult if you are let's say…in Afghanistan….or Iraq….or anywhere but home."

"I see," she lowered her head "but why a snowflake? "

"Same reason why I have a sun," Deeks smiled at her "You are ice cold and I am the fire that melts you."

"Is that you kind way of calling me a bitch?" she exclaimed in offense.

By now Deeks was laughing so hard at her remark that he nearly fell of the couch "God no! That's not what I am saying. It's just that you were, how do I say this….very disciplined and uptight. And I am more a laid back type of guy. "

"And why do you melt me?"

"Did you notice how I used the past tense? I said you were uptight. The first days of our partnership weren't exactly ideal."

"I can imagine that!" she grinned.

"As I was saying," he kept on "you were in agent mode, and I was in cop mode. But we managed to make it work. I melted your ice fortress, and you put out my burning urge for an escape."

She didn't know how to respond to that. For three weeks now she had been busting her head to explain her tattoo, but she never considered this option. What had this man done to her?

"Ok," she looked back at him "give me something else."

"You were always hard to please," Deeks fiddled with his hair trying to think.

"Ok, I got this!" he raised his hand in victory "Actually, I got these. I have a lot of stuff on you Fern."

"Shoot it!" she moved both her legs on the couch and turned over so that she could face him directly.

"I know you have a diary! Wait…..no! Not a diary. A journal."

"How do you know….forget that. Please tell me you haven't read it."

"I'd be lying if I said I didn't," he stared vaguely at the ceiling trying to avoid any eye contact with her.

"Fine!" she tried not to panic "besides, I read it too and there is nothing in there that could make me feel ashamed. Just random thoughts."

"Ok, moving on….I know your favorite movie is Titanic. When you were a teenager, you sneaked out of your house to watch it. That was the night was father was murdered."

"I don't like talking about it," the light on her face suddenly turned dark.

"It's ok," he tried to reassure her "we've talked about this before. You got his killer and you restored your relationship with your mother. You ended it."

"I know! I mean….I read it on my journal….and I also read that you helped me every step of the way. Thank you!" she whispered giving him her most sincere smile. "But give me something that's not in the journal."

"Man, I am going to regret admitting this…but I know the password you always use. King of the world all caps no spaces," he let the words slip his mouth and closed his eyes as he instinctively waited for a punch.

"That is so disappointing," she shook her head calmly "I am changing that password by the way."

"To what? Heart of the Ocean?"

"Oh come on, now I have to change it again!" she raised her hands in defeat.

He couldn't stop laughing and she simply couldn't take her eyes off of him. He really seemed to know her that well.

"Anyway, moving on," he coughed trying to swallow his laughs "I know that you are a big fan of America's Next Top Model. Don't know why though…You like sleeping on the right side of the bed and you always keep a gun in you night stand. You claim to be in favor of healthy lifestyle, but you find the chocolate donuts and breakfast burritos simply irresistible. You are scared of men's back hair but often attracted to facial hair - By the way….I am not growing a mustache for you – You have a thing for costumes and yes, I do mean in bed. You will never admit it, but you are not as good a driver as you think you are – After you were sent to Afghanistan I was stuck with your broken rear view mirror. Don't worry, I got it fixed and I won't send you the bill – Despite the current status of your house, you seem to enjoy chaos and you are a collector of…well anything. You drink your latte with Almond milk. You love techno music. You have a secret stash of chocolates in your car that you think I don't know about. You always take a shower in the morning. You claim to hate Disneyland, but deep down you are dying to visit the happiest place on earth. You also claimed that you were over Vegas, but I had to promise you a "My Dying Bride" concert in order to get you out of there…."

He went on and for five minutes. He really seemed to know every little detail about her and quite frankly, she felt pleased. But then, he stepped on to more serious details, concerning her character.

"The loss of your father in addition to Jack's abandonment and the death of your previous partner, left you with some serious trust issues. When I found you, your wall was so high that I could barely see the real you. In time though, I gained your trust and you let me join you behind your wall. You accepted me for who I am and you trust me on a daily basis with your life. You are the reason I am standing here today, because the thought of you was what kept me alive a while ago. You are the reason I wake up every morning and you are my last though every night."

Suddenly, awkward silence surrounded the room. He didn't even realize the words he had just uttered until he noticed Kensi staring at him in owe.

There was no turning back now. He swallowed hard and looked deep into those beautiful mismatching eyes he had missed so much.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked nervously diverting her look away from his.

"I am sorry…I was just..." he cleared his throat in an attempt to buy some time and find the right answer to her question "I know you don't remember me, but to me…..you are still you! "

She opened he mouth but no words could come out. Then, he reached his hand and caressed her cheek. To his surprise, she allowed him. God he had missed her! It had been way too long since the last time he touched her.

She couldn't explain why, but his soft hand gently caressing her cheek brought a sense of security to her. It felt familiar and just right. She moaned softly, tilted her head slightly and closed her eyes completely surrendered to his touch and the sensations it woke up. Did he even realize what he was doing to her?

Apparently not, as he moved closer to her, closing the small space between their bodies. His right hand remained stroking her face, while his left hand drew her close to his embrace. She didn't resist. Instead, reacted on its own as she placed her head on his chest, wrapped her arms around him and listened to the soothing sound of his beating heart.

She couldn't explain why, but she felt drawn to this man. He emitted an irresistible attraction.

Since she got back, she wanted no one by her side. No Callen, no Sam, no Hetty….not even her own mother. She wanted to be alone and gather her scattered pieces. But now, all she wanted to do was remain still in his strong arms. She felt safe there, a sensation she had failed to feel for a long time. There was no doubt. She belonged there with him!