Chapter 27
Kim stared bitterly at her archrival, now that they were alone.
"Ahh...that's much better!" Bonnie grinned. "A lot more privacy!"
"I don't know what you're trying to pull on me this time, Bon-Bon, but it will not work!" Kim growled.
"Oh, I was reading Sent's story, The Hunter and I have enjoyed it so much!" Bonnie chuckled. "Especially the parts with you and Eric together, kissing! Only drawback is that his chapters are a wee bit too long."
"You're just enjoying that pile of wasted data bits, aren't you!" Kim seethed, "I would NEVER EVER treat my husband like that...leaving him to die out there in a mountain with little to no supplies!"
"That was the best part about it!" Bonnie giggled, enjoying the toying around with Kim's sanity levels "You and Eric work so much better than Naco boy!"
"Believe me, I would rather eat pancakes with the Middeton High mystery meat as the toppings than to kiss an ugly Synthodrone!" Kim fumed as she formed a fist in her right hand.
The more you talk about that story, Bon-Bon, the harder the punch will be against your ugly plastic surgery-mutilated face!
"Aww, Kim...you're getting all stressed from the two-hour drive. Might I point to your 18-wheeler the nearest truck stop?" the Queen giggled slightly. "The coffee will be there with your name on it!"
"Trust me, I get my sleep in after saving the world, Bonnie!" Kim angrily muttered. "I don't have any time at all for your snappy comments!"
"That was what I was getting to anyways." the Queen smirked. "Now that your little organization of Global Juice..."
"Justice, Bonnie!" Kim uttered, "Don't mix up your words."
"Whatever, wannabe. As I was saying, your little organization is now tied to the success of this years' ceremony. " the Queen explained, growing more in her confidence. "If you succeed, I will donate $500,000 to your organization and give you bonus checks."
"Awww...you shouldn't have!" Kim mocked with sarcasm.
The Queen cleared her throat and continued "But if you fail to protect the guests and their valuables during the course of the ceremony, the blame will be placed on you and and your organization of saving-world freaks."
"They are not freaks, Bonnie! They are my co-workers, my partners, my friends that you're talking bad about!" Kim shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the Queen.
But Bonnie wasn't fazed, for she had an ace up her sleeve "On top of that, I am going to send some old photos of you to my tabloid empire to be sold at supermarket checkout everywhere!"
Kim raised an eyebrow, suspicious of her rival's intent.
"What...photos?" she asked snarling.
"Just some old photos of you during college." the Queen snickered.
"College?!" Kim questioned, scratching her head.
"AKA Freshman year at Oregon...the year you broke up with the Naco Boy!" the Queen clarified.
The pieces now came together in Kim's head...how she burned bridges with Ron, Wade, Monique, and the rest of the Possible family during her infamous semester.
"Oh no...you absolutely so didn't!" Kim groaned, the flashbacks clearly irritating her head.
"I did." the Queen laughed, seeing Kim helplessly trapped in her spider web, "It took a lot of digging through one of the archives at my tabloid, The Celeb Whisperer , but now I've found the Holy Grail of your humiliation, K, known as Kimgate '08!"
"Don't tell me you saw that footage." Kim uttered.
"You'd better believe it!" the Queen giggled for joy in her infamous triumphant pose. "Me and Junior laughed our asses off at you going to rock bottom!"
Kim grinded her teeth, "You...piece of utter slime! I so should wash your mouth with soap!"
The Queen continued, "Of course, that happened before Junior decided it was a bright idea to invest all his money into hedge funds for villainy. And we all know what happened to the stock market in 2008."
"Yeah...went into the tank." Kim said, as if she cared about what happened during the recession. It was her reputation that also fell into disrepair at the same time.
"I was almost penniless at the time..." the Queen sighed. "...and had to be taken care of by Mom."
Kim snickered, "Serves you right, Miss Brussel Sprout Queen!"
The Queen shuddered, "Don't you even dare mention that costumed piece of crap to me! I've had enough vanilla milkshakes pelted on me by those little hellspawns!"
"It's a shame that you had to get all that money from one of your dead uncles to feel good about yourself again." Kim taunted.
"Totes well worth it in the end!" the Queen smirked, flipping her hair. "I told you that being dumb, pretty, and popular in high school would work out!"
"That is so a bald-faced lie when I see one, Bonnie!" Kim countered. "Being all those things will not guarantee you success in the end!"
"So stupid for you to say that, Kim!" the Queen bit back and then added, "Would you like to see the deliciously incriminating photos!"
"No...please don't, Bonnie!" Kim pleaded, trying to use her famed puppy-dog pout.
"Seriously, K? Your PDP mind tricks are not going to work on me!" Bonnie smirked.
Kim was helpless as Bonnie pulled out the infamous memory card that contained all the Kimgate 08 photos.
Bonnie went in her handbag and pulled out the damning memory card and inserted it into her golden $1,500 yPhone.
"Aww look, there you are in your partying outfit!" the brunette cooed, looking at the first photo of the 'Kimgate 08' set.
"Why did I even wear that in the first place..." Kim moaned, barely able to look at the photo.
It was a picture of a 19-year old Kim with her tongue sticking out of her mouth. She was wearing a low-cut white t-shirt that showed off a lot of her cleavage and parts of her bra, and a pair of baggy denim overalls with the buckles moving up and down against the buttons. She has two of the three side buttons unbuttoned to reveal that she was wearing thong underwear. To cap the outfit, she wore boots, a couple of Cuban gold chains, a couple bracelets, and giant silver hoop earrings.
"Please...not the Biyatch overalls..." Kim moaned at the brand of the overalls that she was wearing. Biyatch overalls, to her, were just the version of white-trash . While in high school, she couldn't wear them because one, they were too expensive to pay for. The second reason was that they were made by the Queen Bee, a direct rival store to Club Banana. And lastly, the buckles were always manipulated so that they tended to fall off a bit faster. Bonnie was obviously a huge fan of the brand. With the help of Junior's money, she roamed the hallways of Middleton High with that article of clothing. It also didn't help Kim much that Bonnie combined it with thong underwear, earning a lot of wolf-whistles from the male student population.
Kim was able to save enough money to buy a pair to go to college, but she vowed to always wear them with a belt so that they won't fall on her. Of course, that went by the wayside once she and Ron split. Her reputation, and grades, suffered.
"Oooh...let's get to the REALLY spicy parts of the album...the lewd behavior!
"Please, God, no..." Kim moaned, burying her hands. "Why did I even go to Prague for this?"
Bonnie thumbed her way through the album, all the while grinning more and more. It showed Kim in a variety of compromising positions with the partygoers. The buckles to her overalls had fallen off while making out with one of the male partygoers. In one photo, she posed, still with her tongue sticking out , barely holding onto the bib of her overalls to obscure her privates while giving an obscene gesture. In another photo, she bends over her rear with her overalls falling to the floor. In a third photo, she wore her overalls backwards, holding up the strap part while the bib part was showing her behind, while playing beer pong. In a fourth, she was chugging a lot of beer through a tube with her shirt and overalls getting wet.
In the most infamous picture of the group, she made out with Amelia while her overalls were falling off again. Amelia, also drunk as well, had her clothes falling off as well.
Kim looked at the above inappropriate photos. A flood of disappointing memories came back to her
"And all of this came while you were drunk off your sorry ass!" Bonnie laughed, delighting in this sheer humiliation of her opponent. "I'm surprised that party didn't end in anyone in handcuffs with all that underaged drinking!"
"You had to play the role of Middleton Morality police, don't ya, Bonnie..." Kim uttered.
"Kimmie, I'm sad to say that we haven't even gotten to the wet t-shirt contest where you literally lost your thong!" Bonnie smiled proudly.
"Not that part!" Kim shrieked in horror. "Please! I would clean your entire bedroom! Scrubbing the toilets! Anything but seeing those horrible photos!"
But it was too late. Bonnie turned the page to the exact moment where Kim's thong underwear popped off while dancing with one of the male spectators. Many more of Kim's inappropriate photos were to follow.
(50 photos of the wet t-shirt contest and drunk Kim with various wardrobe malfunctions later)
"So that's why your mom always called you Bubblebutt, Kim!" Bonnie chuckled. "The wet t-shirt really did show that !"
"Enough Bonnie! Just enough!" Kim pleaded for this picture show of horrors to end. The look on her face was evidence enough.
"Very well, Kim!" Bonnie said, satisfied with the result of her torture.
"Bonnie! You should be aware that those photos were 9 years ago!" Kim reminded her while summoning any courage to withstand the stigma of those horrible college days, "I am happily married to a clumsy yet faithful husband for 6 years and we both have two wonderful kids! There is no way you can try and ruin me with those photos!"
"We'll see about that, wannabe! Remember that if the Fannies go though without any incident, I won't post these photos on social media or on the tabloidst that I own." Bonnie said
Kim raised her hand, as if she were giving an oath "Do you, Bonnie Marie Rockwaller, solemy swear not to post any of these horrible photos to any and all social media sites and the tabloids that you own?"
Bonnie replied, raising her right hand and hiding her left. "I do swear on the grave of my broken fingernails not to post any of them!"
"Good!" Kim said, satisfied with her answer.
"We're going to keep this between the two of us, okay!" Bonnie grinned, "Naco husband should not be involved in any of this!"
Kim sighed, bitterly, "Okay..."
"Anways, you can go with the rest of your freaks! But I will be watching you and your group closely! I don't want anything to destroy my precious treasures!" Bonnie declared.
"Whatevs, Bon-Bon! You know, you may be rich and powerful on the outside, but on the inside, you'll always be the same stupid spoiled rotten girl that you've always been since high school!"
And with those words, Kim slammed the door on the Queen.
What Kim didn't know was that behind her left hand, her fingers were crossed.
(10 minutes later)
Kim returned to the Global Justice 18-wheeler. Everyone was inside, including Cajunbear and Sentinel.
"So...how did the talk go?" Ron wondered, confused on how long it took for his wife to get to the truck.
"It was...interesting, to say the least." Kim replied. "All she did was explain on what rewards we're going to get if we succeed or fail during the course of the ceremony."
"And if we fail?" Ken asked.
"We won't get anything from Miss Moneybags!" Kim replied. True to Bonnie's word, she didn't bring up the Kimgate incident.
"I guarantee you, Mrs. Stoppable..." Slam proclaimed, "...that nothing will stand in our way of succeeding in our mission!"
"Thanks for the words of reassurance, Slam!" Kim replied before turning to Ron.
"Ron, we need to succeed in this mission!" she said.
"You always say that before every mission, Kim!" Ron said with a smile.
"Yeah, but this time, the Fannies are going to be perfect!"
And my ass is going to be on every tabloid at all 40 Middleton Smarty-Mart checkouts! We must succeed in our mission!
Betty, now back with the trucker's hat in her normal GJ outfit, replied, "Next stop, Global Justice HQ!" She started the engine to the truck. It pulled away from the lot.
Sinister music plays as Bonnie shut the blinds to one of her master bedrooms, overlooking the front. The brunette chuckled wildly, tenting her fingers as Tightlips entered the room.
"You rang, Your Majesty?" Tightlips asked, bowing before her.
"Tightlips, did you have one of your servants put the tracking device on that truck?" Bonnie asked.
"I did, Your Majesty." Tightlips replied, "They seem to be heading back to their headquarters!"
"Excellent!" the Queen smirked, "I would personally want to thank Sharper for changing up the code a little so that it would be a little more to my taste!"
"What do you mean, your tastes, Your Majesty?" Tightlips wondered, scratching his head.
"The gowns I wore to past Fannies were a bit stuffy." the Queen replied, "It's nice to get a little fresh air!"
"Point taken!" Tightlips said, "But what plans do you have in store for the married Stoppables?"
"Simple...I am going to break their tradition a little!" Bonnie giggled, "I am going to be the one who will annouce the Best Author story, not them!"
"How? That tradition dates back to when the Fannies began!" Tightlips asked. He was there when Sharper gave Sarah the history of the Fannies.
But Bonnie also had an ace up her sleeve. She pulled out a document that was rolled up.
She snapped her fingers to two of the servants. "Unfurl this for me!"
"Yes, O Greatest Queen Bytch!" the servants replied before unfurling the document onto the floor.
"Tightlips. Do you know what this is?" the Queen questioned him.
"Actually, Your Majesty, I do not..." Tightlips admitted.
"This is the Fannies Contract that Zaratan, the late Commander Argus, and the late CPNeb had assembled. It dictates how the ceremonies should go!" the Queen explained. "Now...Servant 70, I want you to read the following on Article 4, Section 8, Paragrah 18, Sentence 4!"
Servant 70 put on his reading glasses and read the following "If Kim Possible and/or Ron Stoppable are not present at the time or are unable to complete their speech for the 'Best Writer' award, then the next popular character of kin, Bonnie Rockwaller, shall be the one who will annouce the winner of that award!"
"That was written by Zaratan himself!" Bonnie grinned, "He still thought of me...even though he's a fan of pairing me with the Naco loser..."
"So what do you want to do with this information, Your Majesty?" Tightlips questioned on what the Queen would do next.
The Queen easily made the connection between what was said in the contract and the damning college photos of Kim that she had in her hand, "Simple. We shall make Kim's experience for the 12th Fannies one she will never forget!"
And with that, she performed a gleeful cackle while tenting her fingers.
The truck continued to roll down the highway heading back to headquarters.
Inside, Kim felt very uncomfortable with the photos that Bonnie had shown her.
"Kim?" Ron asked, "What's wrong?"
Kim sighed, replying, "It's about the Fannies."
"Didn't you hear, KS? Sharper has the ceremony in good hands!" Ron replied, trying to cheer up his wife.
"I'm not worried about him! I'm more worried about his Queen!" Kim answered, "I just have that nagging feeling that she is up to something big to completely discredit me in front of millions of people!"
"Bon-Bon's not gonna succeed. You know that!" Ron said confidently, "Remember the whole gangsta date with..."
"Yes...the time you lost your pants AND you boxers, and that you nearly got grounded." Kim recalled, "I remember that date well. So don't wanna go down that road again!"
"It's a little fishy, but given the alternative, we may have no choice, Kim." Ron said.
"Should we give a little...redesign...to her property if she humiliates you?" Slam asked.
"Slam, this is no time for messing up someone else's things! Even if she has been a pain in my rear for the last 16 years of my life." Kim replied.
"You know what the old saying goes..." Slam began.
"Is it something Lorwardian?" Kim wondered.
Slam replied, "No, one of your Earth sayings. It goes something like 'eye for an eye, and tooth for a tooth'!"
"Ohh...now I know what you mean, Slam. If Bonnie really IS plotting something against me during the Fannies, we will counter back against her." Kim said, "But we have to be 100% sure. The intel has to connect if we can even arrest her."
"As a famous quote from a infamous trial once said, 'If the shirt doesn't fit, you must acquit!" Ken agreed.
"I don't even get what that means..." Ron said, slightly confused.
"I think what you Earthlings should say is, 'Innocent until proven guilty', Agent Stoppable!" Slam clarified.
"Ah yes...yes...that's the words that I was looking for!" Ron exclaimed.
"So in other terms, we cannot pin anything on Miss Moneybags until she commits a crime against a GJ agent?" Ken asked.
"Bing, bing, bing, you got that right." Kim replied. "For the time being, though, we'll use a hands-off approach. But when we get to Fannies time, we'll keep extra surveillance on her!"
"I still don't understand why you would want extra eyes on her?" Electronique asked, quite puzzled.
"With Bonnie hosting it at her place, I have a very bad feeling about this!" Kim muttered.
While the truck was driving on the highway, a figure in shadow observed them from a nearby forest with a pair of binoculars.
The figure said into his wristwatch, "Sir, the vehicle has moved out of the Rockwaller mansion. Just as you have forseen."
On the other side of the country, off the Pacific Northwest, there stood a 300-foot tower on an isolated island that was protected by an artificial thunderstorm.
This was the headquarters of the Worldwide Evil Empire, or W.E.E. as its infamous acronym stood for.
On the top floor, a figure stood in a large room, petting a small dog.
"Good! We now know where the Fannies are being held this year!" the figure chuckled. A flash of lightning streaked across the sky.
It revealed to be none other than Gemini, aka Sheldon Director, the fraternal twin of Betty.
"So...did you flatten one of the truck's tires, Agent Iota 9?"
Agent Iota 9 stuttered, "But...but sir, my role in the plan was surveillence only on Global Justice!"
At that moment, the dog, Pepe, began to bark incessantly. He usually does it whenever the name of Global Justice is mentioned.
"Don't worry, Pepe!" Gemini exclaimed, petting his dog "The vile agency will never take you away from me!"
Gemini sighed, disappointed, "Agent, you should know that we never ever use that name! I'd prefer the term 'the agency-for-good-which-must-not-be-named! Please take a seat on the stone right next to you."
"If you say so, sir." Agent Iota said, sitting on the stone.
Gemini pressed a button and Agent Iota fell through a hole right next to the stone.
"Agent Iota 10! Relay this information to 'Number One', our leader!" Gemini decreed to the next agent in line. "He needs this information!"
"Yes, sir!" Iota 10 replied, "But what do this have to do with the plan to ruin the reputation of...that agency?"
"Give it time, Iota 10! Soon it will all come to fruition!"