Jack and Ianto - Chapter Three
Jack sat in a booth for two at the hotel bar, waiting for Ianto to bring them their drinks. He tried not to think about the look of shock and sadness on Ianto's face when he'd told the other man about the Doctor's offer to open a new restaurant in New York City. If he did, he'd break down, and he wanted to at least try and stay rational when it came to such an important decision.
It was the opportunity of a lifetime, and it showed an incredible amount of faith and trust in Jack that the Doctor would ask him to design, run, and even own a part of the new restaurant he was opening in Manhattan, Torchwood Four. It was also overwhelming, and Jack wasn't sure how to react. On the one hand, he wanted to shout his excitement to the world. Yet every time he thought about how amazing it could be, he also thought about Ianto, and what it would mean for their relationship. For the first time, Jack wasn't alone; a year ago he would have happily packed up and moved, but now he had something—someone—to stay for.
Or would Ianto go with him? Were they serious enough for Jack to even ask such a thing of him? Could they survive a long-distance relationship if he didn't? Jack didn't want to end things so he could play the field in New York—he felt too strongly about Ianto to do that—but he'd known friends who had tried to maintain their relationships through a move and had failed. There was so much that was lost, from the big things like dates and sex to the little things like holding hands and waking up together. Jack wasn't sure he could go without any of them. He cared for Ianto too much.
Which made the decision even harder. Did he sacrifice his professional life for his personal life? What if Ianto didn't feel as strongly, and their relationship didn't last? Jack would probably regret staying in Cardiff if that happened, yet he loved Ianto so much he knew he'd definitely regret leaving Ianto behind to move to New York. It was a no-win scenario, and Jack sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face and trying once more to force his thoughts into some sort of order that didn't run in circles. He failed, and let his forehead fall to the table with a dull thud.
"Drink up, soldier," said a quiet voice in front of him, and Jack raised his head to see Ianto sliding a double bourbon across the table to him. "You have some explaining to do."
Ianto didn't appear angry, but Jack sensed that the other man was holding his feelings in check— disappointment, hurt, fear. He certainly couldn't blame Ianto for feeling all of those things. After an extremely emotional day, Jack—as well as the Doctor—had blindsided him completely, threatening to throw Ianto's world off kilter once more.
As he sipped his drink, Jack noticed Ianto avoiding his gaze and finally placed the set of the other man's shoulders and the lines of his face as defeated. Jack thought about what it must be like for Ianto: he'd already lost Lisa, and he probably thought that now he'd lose Jack. He looked like he'd already give up, but was trying to keep up the appearance of being strong and supportive. Jack felt instantly guilty, that he had done this to a man who had lost so much already. He reached over and took Ianto's hand.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean for this to happen, especially today. I had no idea what the Doctor wanted to see me about. And I didn't want to talk about it until we got back to Cardiff, because you've been through so much here already."
Ianto nodded. "I know. But it is what it is and we can't sweep it under the rug now. You've been offered a fantastic opportunity."
"I have." Jack stared at the table, tracing circles in the condensation from his water glass.
"You have the chance to build something from the ground up, to create something amazing." Ianto was stating the facts, as if building up to his final statement.
"I know," Jack replied quietly, still avoiding Ianto's eyes.
"You should take it," Ianto finished. He knocked back his drink in one quick gulp and practically slammed the glass on the table. "I can't believe I said that," he muttered.
Jack stared at him in shock. "I can't either," he said, shaking his head. "Why?"
"Why did I say it?" Ianto asked, and Jack smiled fondly.
"Why should I take it?"
"For all those reasons," said Ianto. "And because you'd be great at it. I think you'd love the job, and I think you'd love New York City."
Jack shook his head. "Actually, I'm more of a Chicago kind of guy myself," he said with a crooked smile.
"You can do Chicago next, then," Ianto replied, but there was a curious distance to his voice that made Jack frown.
"I don't want to move to Chicago," Jack replied. "I'm not even sure I want to move to New York." He reached over and touched Ianto's hand. "And I think you know why."
"Don't stay for me," Ianto said so softly Jack barely heard him. "I couldn't bear it if you stayed for me."
"Why?" Jack exclaimed. "I love you! Why wouldn't I stay for you?"
"Because this is important, Jack. This is your career."
"It's my job. You're more important!" Jack sat back and ran a hand through his hair; if he hadn't been sitting, he'd be pacing. "The offer is tempting, it really is. But I don't want to lose you, Ianto! I want to be with you, and not long distance." He took a deep breath and reached across the table to take both of Ianto's hands. "Come with me. Please."
Ianto's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. "Jack, I—"
"I can't do it without you. I won't do it without you. Say you'll come with me."
Ianto stared at him as if he'd grown a second head. He was silent for over a minute, opening his mouth then closing it as if struggling to find the words.
"I don't know if I'm ready for that," he finally answered. "If I could start over again after everything that's happened this year."
"You wouldn't be starting over, not really," said Jack. "We'd just be starting something new, together."
"It's New York City," Ianto whispered. "It's so far."
"It's not so bad," Jack replied. "Bit garish, I admit, but I think it'd grow on us both."
Ianto hung his head. "I'd have to leave my job, my family—my life."
"It's not easy, I know," Jack. "And I understand if you can't."
"I don't know," Ianto whispered, his eyes sliding closed. "How can I leave everything I know to move to New York, where I'll have no job, no family, no friends? What if something happened?"
"What do you mean?" asked Jack, although he suspected he knew.
"What if it didn't work out?" Ianto asked. He looked like he hated saying it yet alone thinking it "What then? I don't want to resent you if I go, but I don't want you to resent me if you stay."
Jack let his head fall forward with a sigh. He'd wondered the same thing, which meant it was a very real concern for them both. And still he saw no way around it. Jack would follow Ianto anywhere, but he was different. He'd already left behind several lives to start new ones, and as long as he was with Ianto, he could do it again. But Jack hadn't lost someone he'd loved so recently, wasn't tied to one place with family and friends like Ianto.
Finishing his bourbon, Jack stood and offered Ianto his hand. Ianto took it warily, and Jack kissed him, quick and reassuring. "Let's sleep on it, all right? We don't have to decide anything right away, and it's been a difficult day with such unexpected news. Come to bed with me?"
"Of course I will," Ianto replied, squeezing his hand. "And you're right, it's been a long day. We'll figure this out."
They made their way upstairs silently. It was still relatively early, but they got ready for bed anyway, too distracted to do anything else. Jack took Ianto in his arms, and they made love, slowly and quietly. It almost felt like a sad farewell, and when Jack went to the bathroom to clean up after, it was all he could do to not break down in tears over the sink. He could never give this up; he wouldn't. Although he had told Ianto they could take their time to think about the Doctor's offer, Jack made up his mind right there. And he knew exactly what to do about it in the morning.
After sending a quick text message, he returned to bed feeling confident in his decision, and slept contentedly next to the man he loved, knowing it was where he was meant to be.
Jack woke early the next morning, too excited to sleep in any longer even though they had the entire day free ahead of them. He managed to shower and shave without waking Ianto, and almost giggled to himself as he gently nudged Ianto only for the other man to roll over and moan. Jack kissed his neck and nibbled on his ear until Ianto turned for a real kiss, capturing Jack's lips with his own. Before Ianto could pull him down onto the bed, however, Jack stepped away with a grin.
"You should go back to sleep. I need to run an errand or two before we get started with the rest of our day."
Ianto frowned at the clock. "Where are you going? It's too early to run errands."
"Not really," Jack replied. He ran his hand through Ianto's mussed up hair and kissed his forehead. "I'll be back in two hours, tops."
"Jack, what's going on?" Ianto asked, sitting up in bed and looking worried. "Is everything all right?"
"It will be." Jack smiled, thinking about the next few hours. "As long as you get some sleep and meet me downstairs in two hours."
Ianto studied him thoughtfully before nodding. "How about Charing Cross in three?"
Now it was Jack's turn to look surprised. "All right. Why so late?"
"If you've got things to do, I think I'd like to go out to the cemetery, pay my respects." Ianto didn't meet his eyes as he spoke, looking down at his knees instead. Jack sighed and sat down next to him.
"I could go with you, if you'd like," he offered quietly. Ianto nodded and smiled.
"I know," he said. "But I think this is something I need to do on my own. I haven't been there since I left London, and a lot has happened that I…" He shrugged sheepishly. "That I'd like to tell her about. If you don't mind."
Jack pulled him into a warm embrace. "Of course I don't," he murmured. "Are you sure you'll be all right by yourself?"
Ianto nodded. "I'm sure. I need to do this, and this seems as good a time as any if you're busy."
"Right." Jack wasn't sure of the wisdom of Ianto going to Lisa's grave on his own, but he sensed Ianto would brook no arguments, so he didn't push too hard. "But it's a date for later, yeah? We can meet at Charing Cross and maybe have lunch somewhere near the square?"
Ianto kissed him. "Sounds good. Don't be late."
"Same to you. And call me if you need anything."
"I'll be all right," Ianto replied as Jack stood and gave him one more kiss. "I'll see you in a few hours."
A part of Jack hated leaving Ianto on his own, even though he knew it was what Ianto wanted. And truth be told, Jack had a lot he needed to accomplish, starting with another breakfast meeting. He had some things to discuss with the Doctor, and though the outcome wouldn't affect the rest of his plans for the day, it seemed the best place to start.
Fortunately, it went better than expected. The Doctor had been surprised by Jack's suggestion but open-minded, and Jack left the small café where they'd met over coffee with a broad grin on his face. Glancing at his watch, he was relieved to find the shops would be open now, and that he had plenty of time to accomplish what he needed before meeting Ianto at Charing Cross.
The second part of his trip took longer than he'd expected, and he was growing anxious as he entered shop after shop but left empty-handed. He hadn't thought his search would prove so difficult, until a small antique shop across the street grabbed his attention. Always one to go with his gut instinct, Jack turned toward it without even stopping to consider the odds of finding what he was looking for inside the small, musty shop. He was glad he'd taken the chance; it was as if the very thing he was searching for was calling to him from a velvet cushion at the back. It was perfect: small, silver, and engraved with a sentiment that stopped Jack in his tracks and made him swallow thickly. He didn't even look at the price, but ran up to the counter to purchase it before it was lost to him. A few rubs with a silver cloth brought back a bit of shine, and the owner placed it in a small black box, even tying a ribbon around it when Jack asked. The price was steep, but it was exactly what he'd wanted, and Jack left the shop positively beaming with anticipation.
He was early to meet Ianto and grabbed another coffee, which was probably a bad idea as he was already bouncing with nervous energy. Yet the nervous energy also gave him an idea, and he hurried toward the Tesco he was sure was nearby. He picked up as much food as he possibly could, from bread and cheese to sandwiches and salad, fruit, biscuits, and a bottle of decent white wine, as well as a candle and inexpensive blanket. Struggling to hold it all but grinning madly all the same at the idea of picnicking in the park, he left the store weighed down with multiple bags, the black box tucked securely in his coat pocket.
He made it to Charing Cross without dropping anything and sat down on a nearby bench to wait for Ianto. He tried not to be impatient, but he was about to take a huge step forward in his life, and he was both nervous and excited. It felt right to him; would Ianto feel the same? Jack wasn't sure of the timing, but he wanted to give Ianto good memories of London, and hopefully this would be a happy memory for both of them.
Glancing at his watch, Jack frowned when he saw that Ianto was over ten minutes late. He sent a text and waited, but received no answer. When twenty minutes had gone by, he started to worry and called. There was still no answer, the phone ringing and ringing before going to voicemail.
Thinking Ianto could have simply turned off his phone at the cemetery and forgot to turn it back on, Jack waited another fifteen minutes. He called again, willing Ianto to answer, and was relieved when those beautiful Welsh vowels exclaimed, "Jack!"
Jack immediately frowned, his gut clenching tight; he could tell from the sound of Ianto's voice that something was wrong. "Hey, you all right?" he asked. "I thought we were meeting at Charing Cross?"
"I'm…" Ianto hesitated; Jack could hear all sorts of activity in the background. "I'm all right, yeah. It's been an eventful morning."
"What's happened?" Jack demanded. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong, Jack," Ianto sighed. "I told you, I'm all right. I was on my way to meet you when I got caught up in a bit of excitement."
"Where are you? I'll come meet you," Jack said. He glanced at the bags next to him and frowned. So much for his picnic, but this was more important. Maybe he could fob them off on someone nearby and let them enjoy a meal on him.
"I'm at Kilburn Park," Ianto replied. "Hang on, someone needs to speak with me."
Jack heard Ianto cover his phone, but he could still make out the sound of a deep voice asking curt questions. Ianto returned quickly.
"I might be a while, so you'd better come by. I need to let the paramedic take a look at my hand and give my statement."
Jack's heart dropped in his chest. "Paramedic? Statement? Ianto, what the hell happened?"
There was silence on the other end of the line. "There was an incident on the train, a man with a knife…" He trailed off, his voice cracking at the end. "It'd be good if you were here, Jack," he said softly, and now Jack could hear the fear and exhaustion in his voice.
"I'll be there as soon as I can. Are you sure you're all right?"
"I'll be fine, Jack," Ianto replied. "I've got to go. I'll see you soon."
Jack stared at his phone, trying to stop his heart from racing in panic. Ianto had been on his way to meet Jack and had somehow ended up involved in some sort of scuffle with a knife. There would be no picnic, no gift, no happy ending. At that moment, Jack only wanted to make sure Ianto was safe.
He approached the first person he saw and offered them his impromptu picnic. When she insisted she couldn't accept, he told her his partner had been involved in an accident and he needed to be there. She accepted the bags with sympathy, wishing him well as he dashed back toward the tube station.
He'd never been so scared in his life, which told him without a doubt that he had made the right decision. He just hoped he'd have another opportunity to follow through with it before it was too late.
Author's Note:
Well. That was not what I was expecting, although I'm not sure what I was expecting. I will tell you that the original draft of this chapter was twice as long but required several toothbrushes to scrub away the fluff. So it became a rare case complete deletion after Jack picked up his picnic. Poor guy. But it's given me the chance to do some things with Ianto and the larger Whoniverse that I think will make the story a bit more interesting. I hope you enjoyed this chapter even if it is a cliffhanger. The next chapter should conclude the story, although I do anticipate an epilogue. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, it is so encouraging to know when people are enjoying the story!