Chapter 28
(Series Bible Timeline)
(Possible household, 8:45pm, Thursday)
"I'm glad this day is almost overwith!" Kim said to herself, walking in the hallway with her Romeo and Juliet script in hand. "Time for me to come home to my place of peace...my bedroom. Just a nice and long sleep..."
She opened the door to her bedroom...only to find that that it was a complete mess. Trash was everywhere ranging from candy wrappers to empty soda cans, from browned-out banana peels to crumpled-up pieces of paper. In the middle of all this was a 100-pound pet pig covered in mud on Kim's bed.
Kim twitched her eyes in horror.
"Who...did THIS TO MY ROOM?!"
To answer her question, two eight-year olds popped up from the rubbish. They were none other than Jim and Tim Possible, her brothers. Unlike the canon versions of themselves, they don't use technology to press Kim's numbers, but rather they utilize more crude humor. Also, the canon Tim and Jim wore red and green, respectively. But here, it was the other way around.
It didn't matter, though. The twins would annoy Kim all the same.
"Hey, Kim, we decided to move..." Jim said as Tim finished the sentence, "...some of the garbage from our room to yours." They were the ones that owned the pig.
Kim, already livid at this point, imagined steam coming out from her ears.
"You Tworks have really done it this time!" sceamed Kim.
"Why did you call us Tworks?" Tim asked, glaring at his bigger sister.
"Twins + Dorks squared!" Kim snapped.
"Oinky wanted a more permanent place to stay" Jim said, referring to the Tworks' pet pig. "So we decided to move him to your room."
"The two of you can become room-mates!" Tim added.
Oinky snorted and left a...nasty surprise consisting of his leavings on Kim's bed. The stench from the offending matter began to emit an awful smell. Kim had to cover her nose to prevent her from smelling the horrible, vile stuff.
"I want all of this garbage out...out...OUT!" Kim warned them, pointing to both the Tworks and Oinky, "Unless I get Dad to force you two and your...pig friend...to live outside where there will be wailing and grinding of teeth!"
Jim huffed, "Fine, sis. We'll get our stuff out..."
But Tim threw a curveball, "...if you don't damage our toys!"
"Fine, I won't damage your stupid toys in your stupid room!" Kim sneered, "Now, get some garbage bags and clean up the mess you made!"
Oinky made another snorting sound.
"No one asked for your opinion, Oinky!" Kim snapped at the hog.
(2 hours later, 10:45pm)
Kim was now alone in her bedroom, finally free from her prison of trash and compost of hog leavings.
She was still nervous, however, about everything that had gone on at school with her issues with Bonnie, the constant boy problem, and memorizing Romeo and Juliet after having another one of her stage fright issues.
"I hope tomorrow would be a better day than today." she signed as she rested her head on her pillow.
(in the Mississippi Delta)
Sheila Goforth was driving along State Highway 35 during a clear night. She was fuming deep down inside over one of her recent failed plans of stealing artwork from the Louvre, no thanks to Kim and Ron. She wanted to stop anywhere to get away from even the thought of Kim smirking in triumph while she barely escaped the authorities.
Sheila then spotted a honkey-tonk bar right off the highway. She drove her car into the parking lot while it kicked up dirt, spotted an empty space and parked her car there.
Stepping out of the car, Sheila stood up tall, her black raven hair shining in the moonlight. She was wearing a green and black top combined with a black leather jacket. Continuing the trend of her canon predecessor, she wore jeans that were black on one side and green on the other side tucked in with black high heel boots. Completing the aesthetic of the outfit was her special gloves that she received from a freak accident. She usually uses this as a nasty "surprise" for any of her opponents.
"Maybe a drink of sasparilla with water will take the edge of being on the run from the law off me." she said as she locked the doors to her car with her remote.
She opened the door to the establishment and it was a complete run-down mess, a dank urine-soaked hellhole. It was a run-down bar that was built sometime during the 1950s. It was made of wood. Light fixtures were either missing their buibs or have been stripped down to the bulb. The booths reeked of smells that Shego didn't even want to think of. Occupying said booths were a bunch of rednecks and hillbilles coming back from picking up roadkill off the highway, drinking away at their beers. The bartender was sitting behind the bar, cleaning a beer glass while the other bottles containing the heavier spirits were collecting dust. There was also a pool table on the premises. The jukebox located in the back was playing a collection of Jimmie Rodgers tunes.
"Why lookee' here!" the bartender proclaimed in a very deep Southern accent. "She's here as pretty as peach!"
The hillbilly patrons, on the other hand, had other ideas.
"Oooh! Sweet ass!" one of the male rednecks grinned.
"I'd like to get in her britches!" a second added.
The masogynistic comments began to twirl with Sheila's anger in the form of a scowl as she walked up to the bartender, her high heeled boots clompling the wooden planks below.
Sheila sat down on the bar-stool.
"Whet would ye like, young missy?" the bartender asked.
Sheila replied, absorbing another degrading comment, "I would like a sasparilla and water."
"Be right with y'all in a minite, missy!" the bartender replied.
Shego snarled at that comment.
You'd better stop calling me that, asshole. Or you will REALLY regret the day that you met Sheila Goforth.
In the meantime, Ubel Drakken was driving along that same highway. He was communicating with one of Mr. Tofoles' underlings.
"Are you sure this is the right place where I am to meet up with Miss Goforth?" Drakken communicated on a two-way television.
"Yes, Mr. Drakken." the underling replied, "According to GPS coordinates, she should be not far from your current position!"
"The million dollar question is how would I be able to recognize her?" Ubel wondered, rubbing his chin.
"Be forewarned, Mr. Drakken..." the underling warned him, "...you will be known of her presence, especially when she's angry!
Back at the bar, two of the rednecks came up to her, including one of them that made the misogynistic comment of getting in her pants.
"Hey thyar, little girl!" the pants comment redneck said, "Wanna git lucky tonite?"
"Golly be damed!" the second redneck added in an Eastern Mississippi accent, spitting out his chewing tobacco onto the floor.
"Sorry..." Sheila smirked, the rednecks unaware that she was igniting her green powers with an electrical spark. "...but all doors are CLOSED!"
With those words, she hurled the green flame at the redneck, sending him flying across the bar and crashing into a table.
Gasping, the other rednecks got out their weapons, which consisted of billy clubs and broken whiskey bottles.
"Then we'll ferce that door open fer you, she-devil!" the second redneck, armed with a billy club.
"Try me!" Sheila snarked as the rednecks came towards her. She fired up her green flames.
One of the rednecks tried to grab her arm but Sheila eaily knocked him down and kicked the billy club out of his hands. She easily disintegrated it with her fire power.
Sheila then threw fireballs at the rednecks, melting their clothes to their underwear.
More tried to get her, but through a barrage of kicks and punches, Sheila was able to toss them with ease, destroying chairs and tables in the process. She also threw fireballs into the walls and ceiling of the bar. The rednecks began to flee in terror.
The bartender, sensing trouble, tried to call the police on the telephone. It kept on ringing and ringing.
"Come on...pick up the gawd'dang phone!"
Sheila, seeing the bartender's actions, threw a fireball at the telephone, burning it before it made the connection to the nearest police department, which was in the small town of Charleston. But even they do not have the nerve to go up against Sheila.
The bartender trembled in fear at the woman.
Sheila gave a satisfactory grin and said, "You're fighting a losing battle, you pile of worthless meat. I'm a criminal wanted in 9 countries to this point, so I'd suggest you'd leave with your other redneck rats!"
The bartender shook his head and screamed in terror, fleeing the scene.
Ubel continued to drive along the highway into the late night. Deviotix informed him that he and Sheila were to meet tonight to discuss about his evil plan, and that they gave him the coordinates to her last whereabouts.
"You still have to be kidding me!" Ubel groaned, "We're still in the middle of nowhere!"
The underling from Deviotix replied, "You should be approaching her current whereabouts right about...now!"
Drakken turned to the right and he saw that the redneck bar had been trashed. Broken windows and holes in the walls and roof littered the establishment. The rednecks were fleeing the bar in terror, including the bartender.
"Geez. What a dump!" Ubel exclaimed.
"That..." the underling replied, "...is more of Miss Goforth's doing!"
Ubel gulped.
"Given the plan that presented to Mr. Tofoles, she should be interested in it." the underling added, "But you have to please Miss Goforth with a prince's sum to go along with your evil scheme."
His gulp got even bigger. Even though he was a multi-billionaire, winning her out would be difficult. They had teamed up a couple of times earlier in the year but they were foiled both times by Team Possible and had to escape on their own separate ways.
Ubel got out of his car and walked into the facility. The only person stood there was Sheila and the only thing still standing was the pool table and a couple of pool cues. Sheila was hardly scratched at all from taking on 15 rednecks and the bartender in the facility.
"Good evening, Miss Goforth!" Ubel introduced himself, hoping not to anger her in the process.
Sheila rolled her eyes and said, "Yeah...same to you, Mr. D."
Ubel proclaimed to her, "Tonight! I have a dastardly scheme up my sleeve that I think would help the both of us!"
Sheila said, tossing a pool cue to Ubel with her hand, "Okay, Mr. D...let's hear it."
Sheila took aim at the 10-ball and fired it into the pocket.
"So this new evil plan of yours involves a lot of destruction?" she asked.
"Yes, to the National Parks of the United States." Ubel replied, beaming with pride while aiming at the 11-ball, "I have devised a machine that would a) render all water sources dry, b) cut through stone with ease, and c) burning all trees to a crisp."
"And how would this benefit Deviotix...and me?" Sheila questioned, still unsure.
Ubel began his dastardly explanation "There is untapped oil and energy potential in these parks, Miss Gofo..."
"Call me Shego from here on out." Sheila replied, "It's easier to remember."
"Very well...Shego!" Ubel grunted before continuing the dastardly explanation. "About $200 billion worth of oil is in these parks! Think of it! Deviotix will be on top of the world of oil...and evil!"
Shego cleared her throat.
"Oh...ahh...ehh... I almost forgot!" Ubel stammered, clearing his throat, "As for you, Shego, if the operation succeeds, then you'll get 20% of the profit, plus stock options!"
Shego looked more interested with all that green, "Okay, you sold me on the money part...but what about the other part?"
"Other part?"
"As in the teen heroine part?" Shego clarified.
"Oh, her. The all-that teen hero, Kim Possible and her clownish sidekick...whose name escapes my mind."
"Yeah, those two. Didn't you forget what happened the last time we teamed up on a Deviotix project on creating an artificial earthquake?"
"Right, how could I forget about that."
"Next time, try not to put your abort switches right next to the self-destruct button!"
Ubel snorted, "She is not going to stop my plan this time! For that matter, I also may need your help in freeing...the Killer B's!"
Shego looked even more interested, "Ooooh! A villainous teamup! I like what you're thinking this time, Mr. D!"
Ubel chuckled, "Of course, Shego! With that being said, I have ordered a Deviotix cargo plane to take my vehicle to Washington!"
"Are you referring to DC or the state in the Pacific Northwest?" Shego asked.
Ubel growled and slapped himself in the face, "The state, Shego! It is where my latest base of operations is! We'll free the Killer B's from prison...with your car!"
Shego liked this more and more. Her car was armed with missiles that could level at least four city blocks, depending on the type.
"What type of grade would you like?" she asked with a sly and deliciously evil grin, holding the pool cue tight. "Light, regular...or...extra-strength!"
"Extra-strength sounds good!" Ubel giggled with delight. "We also need to bring this pool table along for the break room! The minions are going to love this!"
And with that, both Shego and Drakken drove off in Shego's car en route to the prison that the Killer B's were being held at. The Deviotix cargo plane carried away both Drakken's vehicle and the pool table back to his latest lair.
Whatever was left of the redneck bar collapsed to the ground.