Chapter 49
Though part of her said they should have taken Jack to the hospital, Jen could not face it. He looked as if he was so alone and when asked where he wanted to go, he had said to her he just wanted to go home. And so home was where they went.
Besides, she did not think it was going to hurt the kids to be in an environment which was familiar to them either. JJ and Abi were not little, but they had had to see so much in their lives. Their dad breaking down was not among the worst, but Jen knew how much Jack was going to hate the fact they had seen it when he came around properly.
She sighed once she had got Jack safety, through the front door and up to their room where she planned to settle in with him for the night. As long as, she was hoping, they were able to keep him calm and get him warm, he would for that night be as alright as he could be. When they had got to him on the pier he had been freezing. Yet when they got back to Tom and Alice's home she knew that was not going to be the case for long. And even though they were at the beginning of a long road, they were going to get there.
Still, she could not help but wonder if she should have taken her husband to the hospital. It was just so hard when it was all her own call, she thought, wondering if following through with his request was indeed the correct call… she could take counsel but that was all.
Still, she was not the only one who loved Jack, so she turned to those who loved him as much as she did and Steve was the one to come up with the salutation. Just because they were not going to take him to the hospital did not mean they were not going to get him checked out.
"Is it ok if I call Marcus?" Steve had asked on their way back to the house and the had been easy for Jen to agree too.
When he had arrived, the doctor had given all of the Johnson siblings a nod and clapped Steve on the back before he let Jen him straight upstairs to see Jack.
Just as he had known he would, Steve felt less panicked for Jack when he knew he was up there with him. This was not the first time which Marcus had done a bit of private doctoring for their family. He was suddenly thrown back in his mind to the way that their friend had looked after Kayla when Harper had been doing his level best to poison the love of his life.
Marcus had been a good send then and he was a godsend now.
"Marcus says we can send him to the hospital if we really think that is what is best for him, but I do not think it is." Jen sighed when she came downstairs. Marcus was satisfied Jack was not a danger to himself. it was just whether he had picked up some horrid infection when he had been out there. He had written a prescription for him however which should stop that from being too much of an issue. It had been a horrible night, but it was over…
What he needed now was to know he could be strong for his family and that even when he was not, they loved him.
And he was not the only one. His kids needed that as well. To their aunt and uncle, it seemed as if JJ and Abi did not want to talk much but that did want them there. And so Adrienne sat with the two of them and Steve made endless cups of tea until their mother took charge and sent the two of them off to bed the way she had done their father. Funny – if she had been asked earlier that day then she would have said that her kids were far too big to send to bed, but when a situation such as this arose, she found she went straight into mother mode and her children respond willingly.
Once they had both headed upstairs, Jen turned to her in-laws and said she was thinking of doing the same.
Besides anything else the two of them looked as if they were exhausted and it was time for them to go home, to their own families.
"Are you sure you are going to be ok?" Adrienne asked.
Jen nodded.
"Well, the two of us are going to be about to help with whatever the two of you need," pledged Steve.
They all had a lot going on right then but if they ever going too busy to help each other than god knows what was going to become of them.
"Marcus he is overtired and stressed. As long as we can relieve a bit of the pressure then he is going to be fine –"
That she knew was an oversimplification of the situation. They were going to have to think about counselling and medication and keep a much closer eye on his PSTD, but now they knew what they were fighting it they were going to be able to do so.
Their family had the strength to do that and if they did not then she did not think they were any good at all.
"Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?" Steve asked Jen and he knew it was his own guilt which had made him offer. Deep down he knew he wanted to go and see Kayla and be held by her, but he had let his brother down one too many times of late and he could not help but think that was why they were where they were.
"No – but if you could leave your phone on loud tonight then, I am going to be grateful."
"Of course, I am going to baby," he said as she embraced his sister in law.
If there was a thing in the night which the two of them needed, then he was going to be back like there like a shot and there was going to be nothing anyone in the world could do to stop him.
"You know Jack is so lucky to have the two of you on his side," said Jen and Steve felt the guilt which he had been feeling all night compound.
At times in the past, yes they had all been lucky to have one another but he did not think that day counted.
"Sleep well Jen – or try to anyway."
"Love you guys."
"We love you all," Adrienne said as the two women embraced before brother and sister left.
Steve and Adrienne drove back to their apartment block in silence, thinking about what had gone on.
"You do know what went on tonight was not your fault?" said Adrienne as the two of them had got back.
She knew Steve had always had a bit of a guilt complex when it came to his two younger siblings and if she had been anyone else, then she may not have seen it but she was his sister so she did.
He looked at her for a moment and thought about telling her what he had said to their brother, but he knew he was going to tell it to Kayla again when he got in and he was not sure if he could face it twice that night – in fact, he knew he couldn't.
The two of them traipsed up to their apartment and said good night with a bear hug – something which they were both in need of and grateful for. Steve then went inside and saw the love of his life had waited up for him and that was another thing he was grateful for.
"How is he?" she said as soon as she saw him and jumped up from where he had been sitting.
"Are the kids still up?" he as checked before he went on any more – "is Sophie still here?"
She shook her head and he felt his chest loosen for the first time since he had done to find his brother. He was so glad the two of them were on their own.
"Oh sweetness," Steve sighed and then he knew he should have told Adrienne for he felt as if he could not say another thing and he was right for within moments of him saying that he was in floods of tears and he was in her arms and he did not know for which hurt in his soul he was crying for. It felt as if there were almost too many at that point. Luckily if there was one person he did not have to explain that too as ever it was his Kayla.
She held him that night for as long as he needed to be held and she knew without him telling her that he was never going to upset his brother the way he had again.
All of this had to stop for all of them. It was high time.
X x x
The following week was a big one in the Johnson family, for at last Grayson, was going to go to court. The end of this nightmare was insight and yet on the home front, it was just at the very beginning of Jack's recovery.
Steve had a feeling there were going to have to rally run for him as long as he needed them to, but Kayla needed him as well.
Luckily, they were a big family with a lot of love – that meant there was enough love and time for them both.
Steve had always known how beautiful and strong his wife was but as if a timely reminder had come to him she handled the week with all the grace and poise he should have to known to expect from her.
She had done her crying over this a long time ago and now she was just getting on with it and praying that the verdict was going to go her way, for there was no use lying about it. If it did go her way then she was going to be relieved and if it did not, then her own bravery and Sophie's was going to be all for nothing.
She was not sure if she was ready to face that or not.
Seeing as this was the case, Kayla, so to preserve her sanity through the week though was sure to be in court only when she had to be.
She had of course had to go into court to testify and that had been hard.
But not as hard as when she had had to go and give her evidence against Jack.
It was easier as there were no family ties and she hadn't realised how much less complicated that made it for her. She had been able to stand up in the courtroom and tell it what had happened to her, from the moment she had tried to say no to the moment she had run off the road. And through all it all she had hardly looked at Grayson for there was no way in the world she was going to give him the time of day.
Instead, she had stayed focused on Steve and then she had walked out with her head high knowing she would not return until the day of the verdict.
And so when she found herself at a loose end one day, she made a visit which she had been meant to for a while.
"Hi," said Kayla as she stood on the doorstep of the Horton house.
She was glad it was her brother in law who had opened the door as it was him such had come to see.
"Hi Kayla," Jack said with a tired smile.
Of course, Steve had kept her abreast of what had been going on with him and it had worried her. All of it. Whether he liked it or not, after all the two of them had been through together, she was one of the people who knew him best in the world. How could she not be?
Jack invited her in and made her some tea and the two of them talked about how he was doing as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
Yes, he had gone to the hospital – not for an overnight stay but for appointments. Marlena was going to help him work through some stuff. Yes, he felt as if he was better for it. Yes, he did not feel as pressured as he had done.
The funny thing was that when he talked about the pressure which he had been feeling with the family was that they had not known he had been feeling it. And the expectations which they had of him were different to the ones he thought they had had. They had none at all right then. Except for him to live with them.
That was all and it had helped – enormously.
"Good," Kayla murmured as she tried to find the words to help him herself. The two of them had an honesty between them.
She decided it was best to call on it.
"You know that night I do not think I yelled because it was you, the night of the meal."
She had a feeling she was so upset at the time that she would have yelled if anyone had tried to touch her.
He nodded and she wished she was able to make him truly believe it until she saw maybe she did not have to.
"You know I think I know that now."
It occurred to him, he was not the only one who had had somewhat of a breakdown of late.
"Where were you guys before you came back?" she knew but it would hurt to hear from him.
"Deep underground trying to get Stefano," he said with a shrug as he sat down.
She was getting her doctor head on which was never a good sign.
Kayla knew beyond a shadow of a doubt if it was anyone else, then he was going to tell them to let it drop. It was only because of her, he was holding his tongue and so she decided the best thing to do was to spare him the lecture she may or may not have prepared. He had gone through enough and he had a therapist for all of that.
But it was good for her to try and get as much understanding on what had been going on as she could.
He was not the only Johnson boy who had had to PSTD.
"So have they put that bastard away yet?" Jack asked as he changed the subject.
Kayla shook her head. "We are still waiting on the results of the trial. If he goes free he will still go far away from here I reckon." She said.
He had moved on with his life since the attack – she had been the one stuck in a limbo.
Even if he did not then she did not think he scared her anymore.
Not when she had Steve around.
He was not going to let anything bad happen to her, that she did know.
"If have any sense then they are going to through away the key."
She nodded. For Sophie's sake, she felt that was true.
And for herself.
Sophie had had her day in court the day before and she had been magnificent. Kayla too had had her say already. It had made her feel powerful to stand before the court and say what had happened to her.
She had let them hear it as the truth. Now all that remained to see was if they were going to accept it as such.
"I know all of this has brought up a lot of bad memories but I want you to know that for me what went on between us is going to stay dead and buried in the past Jack…"
"I know – I just have so many regrets"
She knew that – they both did. And she knew they were not all to do with them.
"It is time to work through them."
She prompted. He had a chance now. A real chance to be with those who loved him and she did not want to see him though.
And besides, there was not a more pointless emotion in the world. His regret was only ever going to hurt him; it was not going to change the past.
"This family loves and needs you, Jack."
"You know there was a time you saying those words was all that mattered." He would have done anything to hear them Kayla sighed. If only one thing was clear to hear it was her brother in law was having a bit of a black dog day... A month… a week.
Years of experience told her he would have to come out of it on his own but if she was able to help him she would.
"Well, it is the truth."
They sat in silence for a moment.
"Jack, if you are worried you can talk to me – even if it is me you are worried about."
It was not the old days and she did not fear him. Having her there, comforting him did make Jack feel like something of a failure but that was exactly the way he had to stop thinking was what Marlena kept telling him.
The past did not matter – the present and the future did. And the two of them were family, that was why she was there trying to help him. And that was why they were both going to get through their trials, and come out victorious the other side.
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