"What am I going to wear?" she mumbled staring at her open closet.

Her dinner with Deeks that night wasn't supposed to be a "date" but somehow she couldn't help but feel butterflies in her stomach.

He was going to pick her up in less than fifteen minutes and she still hadn't gotten ready yet.

"Don't overthink it," she muttered closing her eyes.

After all, it was just two friends, two partners spending some quality time together. According to Deeks dinner or drinks after work was their casual routine and that night was no different than the others.

So, jeans and a simple t-shirt it was!

She grabbed her favorite pair of jeans and a purple tank top, released the pony tail that was keeping her wavy hair restrained and simple as that she was ready in no time.

It wasn't 2 minutes later the doorbell rang and she opened the door nervously, desperately trying to hide her anxiety.

"So, are you ready?" the blonde cop got straight to the chase. "Dinner is still in the oven and it is going to get overcooked unless we are back in 20 minutes."

"You were actually serious about it? You are cooking tonight?" Kensi grabbed her hobo bag from the couch and placed it across her shoulder.

"Yes I am my lady," he winked at her.

"You have a gentleman's manners, but a boorish attitude," she closed the door and walked right past him heading towards the car.

"Well that was hurtful," he touched his heart and ran to her side "I was simply admiring your stunning beauty."

"Was that a compliment?" Kensi looked at him as he opened the car door for her.

"Yes it was," he responded with a huge smile on his face.

"Thank you then," she got in the car and within seconds Deeks joined her.

"Funny story," he turned on the engine "you were wearing that sane outfit the first time we ever met."

"What?" she uttered in surprise "this exact same outfit?"

'Well, yes…almost….and you look as beautiful as you did that day."

He didn't take his eyes off the road to make contact with hers. Probably, because he was trying to hide the blushing that was starting to form on his cheeks.

It was weird actually. Why would he feel shame? The receiver of a compliment is usually the one to feel bashful, not the one making the compliment.

Kensi decided not to answer back and just let it go. Their evening hadn't even begun yet and their bodies were already emitting uncanny heat waves. There were obviously steamy erotic vibes floating through the air and unless they controlled themselves clothes would be flying around the car in no time!

So, they both took a deep breath and tried to focus on anything other than each other.

The rest of the ride was awfully awkward and silent but they soon were back to Deeks apartment where Kensi was welcomed by an excited Monty.

"Hey buddy," she kneeled down to pet him "did you miss me?"

"That traitor wouldn't stop whining about you all afternoon," Deeks walked towards the kitchen to check on their dinner.

As soon as he opened the door to the oven, an amazing odor filled the whole house.

"Oh my Gosh what's that smell?" Kensi followed him to the kitchen where Deeks was taking a large griddle out of the oven and carefully placed it on the table.

"What is that?" she leaned forward to inhale as much of the hot steams as possible.

"That is a pastitsio!" he answered gloating with pride.

"A what?" she laughed.

"Pastitsio. It's Greek. We ate it once at a Greek restaurant and you couldn't stop talking about it after that day. So, since you are incapable of cooking, I searched for a recipe online and...voila!" he pointed at the griddle.

"You cooked that just for me?"

"It is not the first time. Actually, you had that same reaction first time I represented you the dish," Deeks took two plates out of the cupboard and carefully served his masterpiece.

"Oh my God it has layers," Kensi exclaimed in shock after taking a closer look to her plate.

"That's the beauty of it! It has pasta, minced meat, cheese and béchamel," Deeks pointed out each layer with a fork.

"I am officially drooling right now so can we please sit down?" Kensi tried to contain her enthusiasm.

"Well yes my lady," he reached for her hand and guided her to the dining table. Like a true gentleman, he helped her sit and quickly run back into the kitchen to serve their dishes.

Even though he originally planned to accompany their private little dinner with a bottle of red wine, he switched to the next safest choice. Beer!

Deeks opened both bottles of beer – after all he knew Kensi wouldn't want a glass – and finally sat opposite to her.

"To second chances. What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger," he raised his bottle and looked straight into her cat's eyes.

"What doesn't kill us, has a plan B," she smiled back at him, clinked their bottles and took a long ship.

"You don't actually believe that, do you?" Deeks asked curiously.

"Well, death seems to be coming for us on a weekly basis if you think about it," Kensi finally got to taste her so called beloved dish and what a surprise. It was simply delicious making her moan in pleasure.

"Mmmmm, oh my God this is orgasmic. Better than an aphrodisiac."

"I'm sorry what?" Deeks head leaned forward and his eyes rolled wide open.

"Oh, you know what I mean. This thing is perfect," she took another huge bite.

Deeks smiled in satisfaction but soon his face turned serious again. "Anyway, back to the death thing. You honestly believe that death is after us?"

"Death has been after us since the first day we worked in the field," Kensi simply stated "Be honest with me. In our years of partnership, how many times have we faced death?"

"Exactly!" Deeks frowned his eyebrows "It has nothing to do with us personally, it has to do with our jobs. If I wake up tomorrow morning and say screw ncis, screw LA PD, I am becoming a farmer, only then would I be absolutely sure that I won't be risking getting shot at any given moment. Are you willing to give up your job and live an ordinary urban life?"

Kensi tilted her head to the right and considered her answer for a few seconds. "If…and that's a big IF, I decide to start a family one day, then yes! I will have no choice but to give up this line of work. As a kid I remember fearing every single knock on our door. Do you know why? Because I knew a day would come when an officer would stand on our door and inform us about my father's death. I don't want to put my kids through that too."

Deeks was staring at her with eyes wide open.

"Think about it Deeks. In this line of work chances of reaching the age of 40 are slim to none. One day, someone... an enemy from our past is going to eventually catch up with us. And that day will be our last. I have come to terms with the fact that I am not going to die of old age. Most likely I am going to get shot, but death is not my fear."

"Then what is?"

"My last few seconds before death finally claims me. I don't want the face of my killer to be the last person I see. I don't want fear or wrath to be the last emotion I feel. So, when the time comes I will close my eyes and I will be the one chose the face I will see last."

They both stood in silence for a few seconds and then Kensi continued.

"I remember something," Kensi whispered her voice barely audible "I've been having the same dream since I got back. I am all alone in an empty cold room, tied up, beaten, bleeding, worn off….basically expecting death…but thinking of you. And then….." she let out a deep sigh "and then you walk in, in a blaze of glory glory and… you save me. I thought it was just a dream but it makes sense now. It's not a dream is it? In my time of death I was only thinking of you!"

She looked deep into the vast ocean of his eyes clearly not expecting any kind of response to her confession.

Deeks was just listening to her in awe. He never knew that Kensi felt this way. As depressing as it was, her train of thought was actually right. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought of his own death.

Just like his partner, passing away never scared him. Before joining NCIS he was more than happy to embrace it since nothing was daring enough to keep him alive.

But then, this brunette kick ass wonder woman stormed into his life and forced him to reconsider his whole existence. He feared the day that he would die, because he wouldn't be here to comfort Kensi about his loss.

That didn't even sound right, but it made sense in his head.

As much of a pain in the ass he was sometimes, he still remained her rock. He was her man. The one to save her when in distress. To comfort her when she was sad. To calm her down when she was in panic. To make her smile when tears were rolling down her cheeks.

So, who would be by her side after he died? Callen and Sam surely loved her as a sister and would move mountains for her, but they weren't him. Nell was her only gal pal, but she wasn't him. Her mother was her only living relative, but she wasn't him.

As selfish as it sounded, he knew that only HE could have a huge impact on her. No one else.

"This was supposed to be a fun night," Deeks fidgitted with his hair in a desperate attempt to divert the topic of discussion "next week is your birthday. Are you going to have a huge party or what?"

"I am not sure I am ready for a party," she shook her head "After all I promised my mom I would spend the day with her. We have a lot of catching up to do and frankly, I am quite looking forward to it. It's weird having her back into my life, but there are still so many things I want to ask her."

"Haven't you two talked since you got back?"

"Well not exactly talked," she took a long ship from her beer bottle "she mainly does the talking. Or should I say better, the judging."

"What do you mean?" Deeks squinted his eyes.

"She doesn't approve my job, my life, generally every choice I've ever made. She thinks that this accident is a sign that I should just quit and get a normal job like all normal people."

"Do you agree with her?" Deeks asked clearly scared of her answer.

"No!" she shook his head and smiled at him "I don't feel like I am done with being an NCIS Agent yet. I love my job. I went through our old case files and saw how many innocent people we've saved. We are good at what we do!"

"Yes we are," the detective bragged.

"As long as I am capable of carrying a gun, I am not quitting," Kensi stated, the tone of her voice more firm than ever.

"That's my girl," a smile escaped Deeks lips.

"What about you?"

"What about me?" he took a bite if his delicious creation.

"Have you ever thought about quitting?"

"No!" he answered with his mouth half full never even considering his answer.

'Liar," she dared him.

"Fine," Deeks swallowed and then continued "I may have considered leaving NCIS for a short period of time, but not giving up on being a detective. Like you said, I am good at what I do. I've tried working behind a desk and it is simply not for me. As long as I can carry a gun and of course I don't have a family, I am not leaving."

For the next half hour they kept on talking. Probably the most they had talked in their four year partnership but Kensi didn't know that. Their communication skills had certainly improved in just two days.

"Crap!" Deeks suddenly stood up.

"What?"

"I forgot about our desert," he squealed and Kensi broke into hysterical laughter.

"That was it? You scared the hell out of me."

"May I need to remind you how cranky you get when you don't eat desert?" he teased.

"I do not," Kensi shouted and followed him.

"May I need to remind you that you stash your junk food in the car so I won't get my hands on it. You give me the death look every time I even suggest sharing your donut with me during stakekouts. And of course that time that you bit me – fyi it's not a euphemism, you literally bit my hand – when I dared to take a bite of your precious chocolate pie."

Kensi bit her gum, shook her head in denial and gave her partner the most adorable grimace "You're lying!"

"Wanna bet?" Deeks challenged her "I still have your bite mark on my hand."

He rolled up his right sleeve and demonstrated in pride a small mark.

"That's it?" Kensi rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean That's it? What did you expect? Had you beaten me any harder I would be missing a piece right now."

"Oh you are such a drama queen. That's even a bite mark. It looks like a mosquito bite or a hickey gone wrong," Kensi laughed.

"These are your teeth on my hand lady. I can ask Nell to run a test and I will prove that this is your denture marked on my hand. I have enough marks on my body as it is, I don't need my abusive partner to contribute to the task."

Kensi moved forward until she was just an inch away from him his lips and said in her most seductive voice "What if it was a hickey gone bad? Would you still have a problem with that?"

Deeks swallowed hard. Suddenly the temperature in the room rose to such a suffocating point that he couldn't breath. "Well, that changes everything," he managed to say.

"That's good to know!" Kensi smiled in her most wicked way and stepped back allowing Deeks to finally exhale.

"Listen," she continued "Let's make a deal. I can see that you have the dough for what I can only assume is a chocolate cake ready. All you have to do is put it in the oven. So, I am going to take Monty for a walk, he's been whining for the past 10 minutes if you haven't noticed, and you'll make sure my desert is ready by the time I get back. Do we have a deal?"

"Deal," he nodded "just, take your time ok?"

Kensi smiled, grabbed Monty's leash from the couch and let her shaggy partner alone to create another culinary masterpiece.

As soon as he heard the door close, Deeks ran like a daredevil and emptied the dough in the mould and put it in the oven.

How could he forget about the desert? He had spent hours searching online for the perfect recipe. At some point he had even considered buying a cake from her favorite pastry shop but it wouldn't be personal enough. He needed to contribute to their first dinner together after their separation.

The clock was ticking and within 2 minutes the cake was already in the oven!

Suddenly, his growing panic was interrupted by Kensi's phone. She must have forgotten it in her purse and of course Deeks being Deeks couldn't help but peek to see who was calling.

He was more than surprised to see the word "MOTHER" on the phone's screen.

Would he be intrusive if he answered it? Then again, maybe it was something important. Without thinking too much he held the phone in his hands.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Who's this? Marty?"Kensi's mom was heard from across the line.

"Hello Mr Feldman. It's been a long time."

"Indeed. Is Kensi there? I need to talk to her."

"She is not here at the moment but she'll be back in a couple of minutes."

"So, are you two back to talking?"

Deeks smiled awkwardly. Had Kensi talked to her mother about him?

"Do you want me to leave her a message?"

"Actually, yes! My cab will be here in ten minutes so I don't have much time."

"I am listening," he sat on the couch expecting to hear the worst.

"Will you please tell her I am terribly sorry but I can't make it for her birthday next week."

"What?" Deeks tried to control the tone of his voice.

"With Kensi's situation and all I had forgotten all about it."

"Forgotten about what?"

"A couple of friends and I had booked a cruise to the Caribbean..."

"Tell me you're kidding," he interrupted her as he foresaw what she wanted to say.

"I am really, really sorry."

"With all due respect your daughter needs you right now. She was looking forward to spending her birthday with you and you choose a cruise over her? And on top of that, you don't even have the guts to tell her in person?"

Deeks desperately tried to control his boiling anger but it was vain.

"Marty please, I am already feeling terrible about it."

"Not terribly enough to cancel your little cruise though," he snapped at her, the irony in his voice was crystal clear.

"Listen, what Kensi really needs is you. If it wasn't for her accident she wouldn't even consider spending her birthday with me.

"That is not true," he stood up and started paving up and down the living room "She longs for your presence. She needs her mother in her life."

"She didn't need me as kid. What makes you think she needs me now?"

"Of course she needed you!"

"She never asked for my help," Mr Feldman was obviously growing more and more uncomfortable with the process of this argument.

"You are her mother and she was just a kid. She wasn't supposed to ask. You should have moved mountains to find her and help her. She counted on you."

Deeks father may have been an insensitive abusive human being, but he knew he could always count on his mother. Even in his darkest hours, his mother was always his anchor.

"She never counted on anyone but herself,"Kensi's mother answered back in an attempt to justify her decision.

"Because of you!" Deeks shouted "She grew up that way because of you. How could she trust anyone when she couldn't even rely on her own mother? Did you even look for her after her father died? She was only fourteen, yet she made it her life's goal to find the killer of her father. And what did you do? You simply wrote her off of your life and started a new family. She never expected to be loved because you failed to love her enough."

"How dare you!" she snapped clearly offended "Of course I loved her. May I remind you that she was the one who run away from me."

"Because you tried to take her away from her father."

"I respected my husband. That is why I never told her the truth. I would rather have her hate me, than think any less of her father," her voice softened a bit.

"Donald Blye was your husband and a marine. But to Kensi, he was simply her dad. No matter what you had told her, she would never think any less oh him."

He could hear a sob catch her throat "I was always jealous of their relationship. She trusted him with her life. She didn't even trust me to make her a Halloween costume."

"Is that why you tried to turn her into a person she is not? To fit into your own standards?"

"What exactly are you implying?"

"Oh come on, I saw her apartment. Vegetables? Fruit? Frozen Yoghourt? Those are so not Kensi like. That was all your doing."

"I just wanted her to adopt a healthier life style. She needs to change the way she lives. She needs to change who she is otherwise she is going to end up like her father. Alone and dead by the age of 45."

"She doesn't need to change anything," Deeks bluntly stated "And if you don't appreciate her for the person she is, then she was better off without you. She is never going to be alone and I am never letting anyone hurt her. Not even you! Not while I'm around. I am never going to leave her side."

Without realizing it he hung up the phone without even saying goodbye, threw it violently on the couch and ran his fingers through his messy hair.

He knew all too well that even parents are capable of causing pain to their own children. Physical abuse was part of his everyday life thanks to his father. But emotional abuse was even worse.

Deeks was fully aware of how guilty Kensi felt for shutting her mother out of her life. That is why she gave her soul to make amends with her when the truth came out.

She paid for the house's renovation. After all she had played her part into tearing that place apart that day.

She had devoted every minute of her free time to make up for the lost years.

She had even surprised her with a 3 day trip to the mountains last New Year's Eve. Yes, they were stuck on that aircraft carrier marine on Christmas day, but that didn't stop her from making new plans.

Kensi just kept giving, but never got anything in return from her mother.

Deeks let out a deep sigh and tried to control his boiling anger. He didn't want Kensi to see him like that. A part of him was thankful that she wasn't there to take that phone call. He didn't even want to imagine the disappointment and pain that she would feel.

Only after he turned around did he notice Kensi standing frozen in front of the open front door with teary eyes.