Chapter 34 - The Fannies Introduction – Part I

(6:40 pm, Dec 16, 2017)

The people started to file into the Rockwaller Opera House, site of the 12th Annual Fannies. Their invites were scanned in by bouncers at the doorways, which also served as their ticket.

The interior lobby of the opera house was decorated with the finest Baroque architecture. Statues of past Rockwaller descendants stood proudly in solid gold and bronze, as well as statues of the Greek and Roman gods. A grand white marble ceremonial staircase stood in the middle of the lobby as it extended on both side to lead the way into the auditorium. Marble imported from Italy and France adorned the walls and the ceiling. Sixteen small chandeliers lit up the enitre lobby area, eight on two rows. There were also two concession stands serving refreshments to the guests: one on the east end of the staircase and the other to the west. Bueno Nacho, JP Bearymore's, and Cow N'Chow were all catering at the West concession stand.

Also, a full-service bar was there for beer, wine, and other heavier spirits.

Kim was at the east concession stand buying a large popcorn.

"Ron? Rufus? Where are you two?" she asked, groaning. "The ceremony is going to start in 20 minutes!"

"Ohh...Rufus...I never ever wanna leave this seat!" Ron sighed, feeling completely relaxed in one of the cushiony lobby chairs. Rufus curled up in the seat as well. He had a tray that had a Naco and two slices of burnt cheese pizza.

"Yes!" the naked mole rat squeaked.

"Ahem!"

Ron now heard his wife clearing her throat. "Sorry, KS, I was admiring how comfy the chairs are! And I still love the smell of burnt pizza!"

"You can sleep in the comfy bed when we get back to the house, Ron." Kim grinned, before eyeing her parents, Joss, and...

"Oh no...Cousin Larry! Why is he even here? Joss?!"

Larry was now in his early 30s but is still single and still subsists on a steady diet of Fortress and the 10th installment of the Everlot MMORPG series. He too was in a holiday-themed tux even more garish than James' or Ron's combined. It consisted of a three-piece suit of a Bernalus Senator with a grey cape and a Santa hat. Joss was rocking the plaid-shirt, one-strap Country CB overalls look with cowboy boots and silver hoop earrings.

"Hey, Kimmie-cub!" James said, waving to his grown-up daughter.

"And we came just in time too!" Ann chimed in.

"Mom! Dad!" Kim said with a slight blush, "Nice to see you two here...with Larry and Joss."

"Affirmitive, cousin!" Larry said, adjusting his glasses, "Do you like my holiday-themed tuxedo?"

"I...uhm...do, Larry! It looks...fitting...on you!" Kim replied, her eyes turning more attention to the artworks of the lobby rather than on Larry's suit.

But now her attention were turned to Joss' overalls.

"Joss! I told you explicitly on the phone to hook up both straps!" Kim shouted.

"You look like the Galactic Farmer from Zartog!" Larry remarked.

"Mighty thanks of you, Larry!" Joss said with a smile before looking sternly at her cousin"Kim, you don't tell me what to do with my fashion sense!" Joss countered, "If I wanna dress up like a cowboy, then by dolly gosh durn I'll wear my one-strap overalls!"

"Fine, Joss! But you'd better not attract the attenion of...!" Kim warned before a familiar face cut her off.

"Were you about to say my name, K?" Bonnie asked, snickering. She was now in her signature outfit: a backwards cap, a Country CB tube top covered with a jacket, baggy Country CB overalls with both straps undone and black satin boxers, a lot of fancy diamonds and gold bling, and gold basketball tennis shoes. She had two bodyguards by her left and right.

Kim covered her face and said, "Yes...I was about to say when you decided to drop in, B!"

"Buzz off, Bon-Bon! We're trying to get to the ceremony here!" Ron said.

"So we got the wannabe disco queen, the Naco lumberjack, the inbred farmer cousin, and the Christmas sci-fi geek!" Bonnie snarked, "You Possibles never cease to amaze me in your poor choice of fashion! I could stay longer to criticize your fashion senses, but I will be in my royal box for the majority of the ceremony...unless I am called to be a part of any awards delegation! Later, you bunch of Possible punks!"

Bonnie and her bodyguards made their way to the elevator to her personal royal box.

"Bonnie...that slimy vile she-devil!" Kim growled, forming fists with her hands, "Thinking that she can get away with insulting my family like that?"

"She's starting to get salty, KS..." Ron admitted.

"Then I'll put a little more pepper in her salad!" Kim countered, "Come, Ron. Let's take our seats!"

"We'll take ours as well!" James replied.

_
While in the elevator, Bonnie just grinned to herself.

In the end, Possible, it will be YOU who will be escorted out of my mansion in handcuffs!

As the doors opened, she made her way to her personal royal box.

Dr. Lipsky and Sheila came into the lobby area as well. Sheila was still a little peeved about those shoplifters giving her the slip. Dr. Lipsky was in a grey three piece suit minus the tie while Sheila was in CCB embellished boyfriend jeans, 4 in. high heels, a black and green strapless top, a leather jacket, and black sunglasses

"I had those pesky twerps right in my hands and they just had to have some high tech vehicle...with no license plates...as their escape plan!" Sheila exclaimed.

"You could've used your plasma powers to flatten their tires." Dr. Lipsky suggested.

"Excuse me, Dr. L?! My contract with the MUSD and Global Justice forbids me to use my powers in the line of duty. I can only use them when Global Justice needs the both of us on a mission!" Sheila said. "You remember signing it with me after the alien invasion, did you not?"

"I vaguely remember, but yes, I do remember signing that contract with GJ." Dr. Lipsky replied. "But you'll still catch those pair of troublemakers, dear! It's not like they can operate those smartphones correctly!"

"Say, speaking of technology, did you turn off all your inventions before we left?" Sheila asked her husband.

"I can honestly say to you, Sheila, that all my inventions are in the off position!" Dr. Lipsky said with confidence. "No intruder would even dare to turn on my machines!"

(Lipsky house, 5pm)

Alicia went into her daddy's basement, holding a strand of her mom's hair that she got from the master bathroom shortly after they left for the ceremony.

"Ooooh! Daddy's got some nice new stuff!" she said, giggling for joy.

But one device interested her the most. It was a multi-dimensional portal that allowed access to other worlds as well.

"Let's turn it on!" Alicia said, smiling as she turned on the machine. The machine hummed to life and it took Sheila's hair strand.

"Oooh! Fun!" she grinned.

The portal then opened with three other couples with different Shegos. The first one that came out was a 38-yr old Shego in a relationship with a 28-yr old Kim. The second one that emerged was a 30-year old Ron with a 40-year old version of Shego. The last couple that emerged was Turbolover175 and Mrs Go Turbo. Turbo was in a black three-piece suit while Mrs. Go Turbo was wearing an evening gown, unaware of what changes have been made to the dress code.

"Shall we, my dear?" Turbo asked. "I've got the invites to the Fannies ceremony!"

"Oh, hubby, you always are one step ahead!" Mrs. Turbo replied, clinging to his tie.

A recently resurrected Monkey Fist and Bates were in the lobby as well. Fist, however, was wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora under his usual outfit. Bates was in his archaeological outfit from when he and the former Lord Fiske met Team Possible for the first time.

"Milord, are you sure this disguise will fool them?" Bates asked, fearful of his employers' reponse.

"Nonsense, Bates!" Fist replied, "It is the ultimate disguise to protect myself from the greatest threat to me!"

"Worse than that Ron Stoppable fellow?" Bates asked.

"Yes!" Fist said, a little annoyed.

"Worse than the Yono?" Bates asked again.

"Yes!" Fist again said, more bothered.

"Worse than Miss Hall rescuing you from the curse?" Bates asked a third time.

"Yes, you blubbering idot! She confined me to a fate worse than death!" Fist shouted so loud that almost the entire room could hear him.

But when he had said those words, it attracted the attention of Kabocha and her band of Monkey Fist Fangirls, or the MFFs for short. They consisted of LillyHellsing, DJMirium, Emersonian, Blackcassiope or Micka, JWolf97, Shin-Ichimaru, CowgirlMickey, Ratlovera, and Donella-and-Orin.

"It's him! It's Monkey Fist!" Kabocha shouted.

"Oh my gosh! It's him in the flesh!" JWolf remarked. She was holding a sign that said "JWolf 3 Monkey Fist!"

"Oh my God!" Emersonian reacted. "I have like an entire shrine to him!"

Shin added with enthusiastic joy, "Monkey FIst! I love you! Hug me!"

"I did not sign up for teenage fan clubs when I became an archaeologist!" Fist exclaimed, "Bates! We must run for our lives!"

Both Fist and Bates were running in the lobby with the screaming MFF's right behind them, a la the Beatles.

"Maybe you should have waited until you hit your 50s to get the job, milord!" Bates remarked.

"Don't blame me when I was at the top of my class at Oxford, you moron! Now faster, they're gaining on us!"

Bates muttered to Fist, "Can't you do something to stop those insane fans, milord?"

Monkey Fist replied to him "My fighting skills won't do; their eyes are the ones who adore me! If only they adore real monkeys instead of me!"

They were chasing after him with shavers and clippers.