So guys! Because of what happened with the uploading screw up, I decided to give you another chapter tonight! And it's over 2500 words! I figured what better way to make it up to you! I will try to post another one either tomorrow or Friday! I hope you guys like my story! And please! Read and Review!
Clare's POV
I awoke to Alli sitting down next to me, while Adam went to sit next to Eli. I wanted to ignore her. I really did. I didn't want to know what took her so long. However, my mouth hasn't been listening to my mind since I got here, so I wasn't surprised when it didn't now.
"What took you so long?" I asked.
"What do you think." Alli said.
"You slept with him." I stated. I still had my head leaning on Eli's shoulder, and neither of the guys spoke or acknowledged we were there.
"Well yeah. Didn't you?" She asked, like it was an obvious answer.
"No." I sighed. "I didn't."
"Asher says you did." Alli replied.
"You would believe him over me?" I asked, finally looking over at her.
"He's got nothing to hide." She said.
"And what? I do?" I asked.
"You have lied about it before." Alli stated. "You didn't tell me for weeks. You gave me crap about sleeping around and not being a virgin; but who knew that Saint Clare would be just as slutty as me behind closed doors."
"You're the one who told me that it didn't count. That I had a right to keep it a secret and you understood that. Not me. I never tried to keep it a secret. I tried telling you. I just couldn't." I argued.
"But you still lied. So you could again. Why would he lie?" She asked.
"To get you to sleep with him." I retorted.
"Yeah. Well, I highly doubt that you didn't." She stated.
"So what are you trying to prove? Are you trying to one up me or something?" I asked.
"If anyone's the slut it's you so don't try to make me into the bad guy." Alli growled, sounding tired.
"Eli. I need to get out of here." I stated, standing up. He followed me, to open the door.
"I feel bad for you Adam. Eli is going to be getting lucky and you are stuck here with the rest of us." Alli sighed. I didn't turn around. I knew if I did, it wouldn't end well.
I stormed out of the room, as soon as Eli unlocked it. I ran into the bathroom, and started pacing. I didn't know how to let the anger out. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want to seem weak, but at the same time, I didn't know what else to do. It was that or cutting, and I didn't have a way to do that without a razor. Eli walked through the door, shutting it behind him, before walking over to me.
"Clare. Sit down. I know that look." Eli directed me over to the back wall next to the trash can. He made me sit down, and he kneeled in front of me.
"I don't want to be here. I don't want any of it." I cried.
"Clare. You can't give up. I won't let you." He stated, making me look at him.
"I don't want to live anymore Eli." I cried. Tears started streaming down my face by now. He put his hands on both of my arms, as I brought my knees up to my chest. "Alli was taken because of me; because she was looking too hard for me. Sav was shot and probably killed because he tried to help Alli. It's all, my fault. All of it."
"Clare. It's not. You didn't know. You couldn't have known." Eli tried.
"But Alli. She slept with Asher. Willingly!" I cried out. "She believed him over me, because she assumed that I would sleep with him. She thinks I'm easy now. Even though, I've become less likely to after the past I've had. She thinks I'm easy because I'm not a virgin. It's ridiculous. She's ridiculous."
"Why did you yell at her about her saying it didn't count?" Eli asked.
"I was raped, two years ago." I began. Eli rubbed my arms reassuringly.
"You don't have to tell me anymore." Eli stated.
"It's okay. It's not a secret, but it's not something I talk about much." I shrugged. "Just don't pity me. I don't like pity."
"I would never." Eli replied. I began to speak again, and he stayed quiet.
"Alli thinks that it doesn't count as sex, but I think it does. I was fifteen. My boyfriend, at the time, was the culprit. We were only dating for about three months before it happened. My stepdad and Jake were out of town for their jobs. They work in construction together, and my mom wanted to go with. I'm the good one, so they didn't think it was a big deal that they left me home alone." I shivered. Thinking about that time still was hard.
"Here." Eli shrugged off his hoodie, and wrapped it around my shoulders.
"Thanks." I smiled, as the flashback began.
My parents were gone for over a week, and Alli and I hung out a lot. She slept over when she could, but her parents are strict so she couldn't sleep over on school nights. So I would invite my boyfriend, at the time, to hang out. We would watch movies, play games, etc. Then when it became late, he would leave. One night in particular, I didn't invite anyone over. I had a test the next day, and I needed to study for it. They both understood, and Alli said she needed to study too so it worked out. I ended up falling asleep, on the couch, around midnight. After about an hour or so, I woke to a phone ringing.
"Hello?" I answered groggily.
"Hey, Babe. It's me." K.C.'s voice came through the phone.
"Hey." I replied. "What's up?"
"Can I come over? I was hanging out with the guys, and I ended up having a few beers. I promise, I'm not drunk but if my mom smells it on me, I'm dead." K.C. asked.
"I can't K.C., if someone sees you coming over here this late, I could get into so much trouble." I explained. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Babe. Don't worry about it. I'll just hang out with the guys for a little while longer, and then the smell will fade. I'll see you at school tomorrow." He replied.
"Alright. Again. I'm sorry." I continued.
"It's fine, Babe. Really. Don't worry." He stated. "Night, Babe."
"Goodnight." I replied, before hanging up. It was around one and I didn't want to study anymore, so I closed my book and headed upstairs. I collapsed onto my bed, making sure my alarm was on for the morning. I fell asleep pretty quickly, and only awoke when I felt something shake me. I opened my eyes, and saw K.C. "K.C. What are you doing here?" I asked confused.
"Babe. I'm sorry but I missed you, and I couldn't stay away." K.C. slurred.
"Gosh. You're drunk. K.C. you need to leave. If someone catches you here, I'm dead." I stated, standing up.
"Come on, Babe. Please? I ended up having more beers because they kept hounding me, so I can't go home now. I'll be good, I promise." K.C. pleaded.
"No, K.C." I argued.
"I can't go home. What am I supposed to do?" He growled.
"I don't know, but you can't stay here." I retorted.
"I know something that can pass the time." He murmured, stepping closer to me. He brought his hand up to my cheek, and kissed me. I kissed him back, figuring that was the end of it. When he pulled away, I smiled at him, but that seemed to encourage him. He began kissing my neck, and I spoke up.
"K.C. Stop." I tried pushing him away. "You know I'm not ready for that."
"Clare. Stop being such a worry wart. I'll be gentle." He pushed me back onto the bed, I began to fight him.
"K.C.! Stop! I'm not doing this." I shrieked.
"Babe. Relax." He climbed on top of me, straddling my hips, and leaned in to kiss my neck again.
"K.C.! Stop! Now!" I cried. He stopped responding. He unzipped his pants and shrugged them down. Then he did the same to mine.
"This might hurt, Babe." He stated.
"K.C.! You don't have to do this!" I sobbed.
"Don't worry. I'll be gentle." He continued, as if I didn't speak.
"K.C." I cried.
He stuck himself into me, swiftly, without even completely taking off my pants and underwear. They were just to my mid-thighs. He pumped in and out of me for a while. My guess was because he was drunk, he wasn't able to finish fast enough. Either way, I cried the entire time because of what was happening and how much it hurt. He climaxed, and slid himself out of me.
"Alright, Babe. That was great. I'm sorry, but I have to leave. It's almost two, and my mom will kill me if I'm not home. Hopefully, she doesn't realize that I'm drunk." He slurred again. He kissed my head, before leaving me there, crying.
"I cried myself to sleep that night, and the next morning Alli got me the morning after pill. We swore not to tell anyone. K.C. only remembered that we had sex. He didn't believe he raped me. To say I broke up with him after that would be an understatement. He's been trying to get me back ever since." I sighed. I didn't tell K.C. all the details from my flashback. I gave him a simplified version. It would be easier if he didn't know all of the gory details. He knew enough now.
"Clare. I'm so sorry. That should never have happened to you." Eli sympathized.
"This is why I want to die, Eli. I have nothing but torment and torture in my past, and now, my present. My future doesn't even look bright. Who knows if I ever get out of here? I just don't want to be raped again, before I find out." I sobbed.
"Blame Asher. Blame Fitz. Even blame K.C. Don't blame yourself. They did this to you on purpose. They do this. It's happened to a lot of us resist; especially the girls. They want to break you. God, Clare. Please don't let them win."
Eli was so close to me right now. So close. I didn't know how to respond to it. I wanted to kiss him but I don't know what his deal is. Whether he wanted to kiss me or if he was just being nice because he cared for me like he cared for Adam. And I don't think he wants to kiss him. Well, I'd hope for my sake he doesn't.
I cupped his cheek, pulling him towards me. Our lips met, and I immediately felt relief. This was what I needed. He pulled me closer against him, locking me in his grasp. I took this as a good sign. He brought a hand up into my hair, and his other one anchored itself to my hip. He pushed me against the wall with his force, making him hover over me as we sat there. I didn't care about anything or anyone in that moment. All I could focus on was Eli.
This being said, I didn't notice that we were moving until my back hit the floor. My feet were resting by the trash can, and Eli was hovering over me. I pulled away, so I could speak. He continued to hover over me, running his hand against my cheek, and using his other hand to prop himself up.
"I won't Eli. For you, I won't." I stated. He smiled, kissing me again.
"Good. I am going to hold you to that." He said. "Now come on. We should get back. Running into Fitz right now, would not be the best way to end the night."
"Oh? And what would be?" I teased.
"I can think of a few things." He smirked, leaning in to kiss me again. The kiss was brief, before he pulled away and stood up. He lent me his hand, and I took it. I took the hoodie off of the floor, and handed it back to him. We walked back towards the door, leaving the bathroom. "And just to let you know, you are a virgin. It doesn't count. Your purity was taken from you that day, but your virginity is still there. It's something you will give away willingly someday. Something that can't be taken from you. So don't worry too much about that either. K.C. and even this place can't ever take that away."
"Thanks, Eli." I smiled. I pecked him on the lips, before pulling away again. "I don't want to talk with Alli." I continued.
"We won't sit near her. I promise." Eli said, as he unlocked the door to the room. We walked in, and waited for him to lock the door. He took my hand and led me over to our usual corner, where Adam was sitting. Alli was sitting in the corner opposite from us.
"Are you okay, Clare?" Adam asked, as we sat down. I sat down in between them, in the crease of the corner. They both sat on the adjacent walls, with Eli sitting closer to me, and me leaning against him.
"Yeah. I just needed to cool down." I sighed.
"Well, she won't bother you. I laid into her about how she was acting." Adam shrugged. "She's not speaking to any of us now."
"Thanks Adam." I smiled. "She'll get over it. She does this whenever she sleeps with any guy. I should be used to it by now, but I guess I'm not."
"It doesn't matter, though. Just let her cool down and you can stay over here with us." Eli reassured, kissing my hair. "Try getting some sleep." Eli wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me closer. I leaned further onto his shoulder, and glanced at Alli. She was staring back at me, and looking at me sadly. I could tell she was regretting what she said. I will talk to her. Just not tonight. I closed my eyes, and the darkness quickly pulled me under. I didn't dream about anything, but the content feeling stayed with me all night.
I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. Clare's past was revealed, and we get a glimpse of Eclare fluff! This story doesn't revolve around fluff but I wanted to add some into this chapter since it's such a depression chapter. Either way it was necessary for the story to continue. I wouldn't add it if it didn't fit with the plot. Anyways, next chapter should be up either tomorrow or Friday! Hope you guys liked it! Read and Review!