Hello sweeties! I'm so sorry I took this long to update… blame it on school. Anyways, I hope this abnormally long chapter makes it up for you guys (I can't promise to keep the followings this long though). This one is fully dedicated to ManHands6733, who has been not so patiently waiting for an update. Thank you for your motivation, sweetie :)
Disclaimer: Glee's not mine, otherwise, we would have heard Somebody to Love. (I really wanted that song to be sung in the 100th, okay?)
– Hey, you look good!
Kurt had helped Santana with her dress, but she said she was fine and she was able to pick shoes of her own. Well, more like 'Back off, Hummel, you're annoying me more than I thought you'd be able to, and I'm not fucking Berry, I can pick my own shoes' and then she added a smirky 'wanky' after she realized she had said 'fucking Berry'. Kurt didn't need those mental images right now.
Anyway, they had found a tight, long sleeved, mid-thigh length, blue and black striped dress.
Which both still claimed they had seen first.
After she bought it, she had decided to complete the outfit by herself (aka, kick Kurt off her sight), so Kurt hadn't seen it complete. She had added an animal print belt, knee high black boots, black tights, a big black purse and small rounded earrings.
– Of course I do. – she answered nonchalantly, while taking her boots off – now ask me how my date was.
She sat on the couch next to him, resting her head on the back of it, her feet on the coffee table and closing her eyes.
He rolled his eyes but obliged, he just wanted to know.
– How was your date, Tanna?
– I don't want to talk right now! Don't you see I'm tired, Hummel? Geez, you are impossible!
He just rolled his eyes, sighed and continued reading his magazine.
Santana opened one eye to look at him.
– That's it? You're not interested? – she asked, annoyed.
– I am, but I don't want to start yet another fight. I don't understand half of what you say when you're angry. – he answered, not looking at her.
– Es la parte divertida. (1)—she said with a smirk.
– Okay, will you tell me or not? – he asked, annoyed.
– No…—Kurt narrowed his eyes at her – yet! Not yet, ok? Calm down, woman! Let's call Berry and I tell you both, I won't be saying the same thing twice.
Kurt nodded and gave her his phone. Somehow he thought they had fewer chances to be ignored by Rachel if she saw his number, rather than Santana's. She might still be mad since their last phone call. Santana didn't comment. She dialed her number and activated the speaker.
– Hey Kurt, how are you?
– Hi, Diva!
– Hey, Berry!
Her friends greeted her at the same time.
– Oh, hi Tanna! Hey, how was your date?
– See? I knew she'd ask too. – Santana told to Kurt. – It was ok, we went for a coffee and talked a lot. She's not as shy as she seemed to be.
– That's good, otherwise she wouldn't survive.—Kurt said.
Santana glared at him.
– I think what he's trying to say is that you may be a little intimidating for a shy person, Santana. – Rachel tried to clarify, sensing a fight approach. – Anyway, did she kiss you? Did you kiss her?
– She walked me home and kissed me before she left. – Santana answered, her voice sounding like she was exhausted and had answered the same question a million times that day.
– Seems like she won't telling us anything else, Diva. How about you, how are you and Finn going… with the kids? – He was going to end the question at 'going', but he went to the safe place instead.
– Good, good. Things are not… awkward, anymore. The opposite, actually. We… He kissed me. And, well, I did too.
Kurt stared at the phone with wide eyes. He didn't seem to find any words to say, so Santana talked.
– Are you serious, Berry? – she asked in an incredulous tone.
– Um, yeah… Isn't this what you were, oh so eagerly expecting to happen?
– Well, I was kinda hoping you'd fuck him, maybe that'd make you less annoying, you need to get some, Berry.
Santana's words apparently made Kurt come back to reality.
– Santana, please, he's my brother, mental images!
Rachel sighed hopelessly.
– Calm down, we did not sleep together.
– Ok, but when, how, why? Elaborate, Diva, we know you can – Kurt asked, more relieved now.
– "How", Hummel? Do you really want to hear that?
– Ugh, no, gross. I mean how they got to the kissing, not how they did it.
– We didn't do it, Kurt!
– With 'it' I meant kissing, not it it.
– Oh, okay… Well, let's see-
– Whoa, do you really need to "see"? How many times did you make out? – Kurt asked, only half joking.
– Could you just wait, Kurt? And we didn't 'make out' – she drew invisible quotation marks in the air with her fingers although he wouldn't see her – it was just a kiss, ok? Anyway. Today, Tina asked if I could sing what I sang for my callback and-
– Okay, we know you looooove your little spotlight, Berry, but could you just get to the point?—Santana asked, annoyed.
– Santana. – Kurt chided – What did you sing for your callback, Rachel? I don't think I remember…
– To love you more, by Cel-
– Oh, right now I rememb- YOU SANG 'TO LOVE YOU MORE' TO FINN TODAY? – Kurt asked in a high pitch.
– Daaaamn, Hummel! Sonar-pitch control! I'm deaf now! What's the big deal? Did you claim that song your property in some diva-off? – Santana complained at her friend, rubbing her ears to make her point.
Kurt rolled his eyes. Rachel tried to hide her laugh.
– If you had some musical culture, you'd know the lyrics to that song, which happen to be very meaningful to Rachel and Finn's current state in their relationship. Well, only if someone admitted she still has feelings for some other someone. – He talked louder and staring at the phone on his last words.
– Do you really want to know what happened or you're just going to chide on me again? – Rachel complained, ignoring his statement.
– Is someone going to tell me the fucking lyrics to that song so I don't have to Google it?
Both Kurt and Rachel talked at the same time.
– Santana, language…
– Language, Santana!
– Ooooh-kay, Wonder Twins, now I never thought I'd say this but… Sing it!
– There's no need, Santana. The song is about a woman who wants to be back with the man she loves. – Rachel explained. – You can Google it later. It's a long song, though, I didn't sing it complete.
– Ok, let's pretend I will. Now, what happened?
– I knew he felt… something, while I was singing, but I didn't know what exac-
– Oh come on! – Santana cut her in.
– Really, Rachel? Really? – Kurt asked rhetorically, almost at the same time.
– Will you let me finish or not? – Rachel asked, annoyed. Her friends didn't say a word, so she continued – After I sang, he told me he needed to ask me something later. Then I went to help the kids with their dancing, and after the rehearsal finished, Finn came to the auditorium and I asked what he needed before.
– What did he ask? – Kurt asked, intrigued.
– He asked why I had chosen that song for my audition. Actually, before that he said that when I talked, I didn't express the feelings I did when I sang. I told him that I was following his and Shelby's advice (on my song selection, I mean) about not doing Barbra and singing something that took me to the roots of my passion. I've been singing Celine since I was little so it was a good choice.
– Ok Berry, I have a feeling this is getting us nowhere. Can you please get to the point? – Santana asked, while pinching her nose bridge, like she had a headache.
– I'm sorry, I'm coming there, ok? He told me he still believes I'm lying to myself and that I should just admit I still have feelings for him.
– Oh God! My brother really said that? I'll call him later to congratulate him! – Kurt said, excited. – But what did you say?
Rachel sighed.
– That it didn't matter if any of us had feelings for the other, because nothing has changed! He's here and I'm in New York and that won't change. And then he said that sometimes things didn't go as planned and we just had to let it be and enjoy… And next thing I know, he's kissing me.
– Just when I thought it couldn't get any gayer. – Santana said.
– Oh, come on! Don't you enjoy a bit of romance? – the Latina just rolled her eyes and sighed in response – Apparently, not… So, Rachel, does this mean you two are in good terms now? We don't need to intermediate?
– You never have to intermediate, Kurt. We are both grown up and can solve our problems on our own.
– Oh, sure, that's got you two very far 'til now. C'mon, Berry, you two are the most stubborn people I'll ever know, and you act like two sixteen-year-olds when you're together, whether you're in good or bad terms, if you know what I mean. – Santana replied, a cheeky tone on her last words.
– What? Santana, what does that even-
– I think what Santana is trying to say here is that you act too immaturely when you're in bad terms with each other, and you act too… hormonally… when you're in good terms.
– They get it on like freaking rabbits, Hummel, say it.
– I understood what she was trying to say, Kurt, and I was about to deny it. We did talk seriously and got to good terms while working together, didn't we?
– Okay, we'll give you that one. But still, sooner or later, you're gonna get to even better terms and get it on like rabbits again. – Santana heard Rachel sigh after her statement.
– Whatever, Santana.
– See? You don't even deny it! – Rachel heard her two friends do a high-five over the phone and rolled her eyes.
– Anyway… – Kurt said, talking away from the two girls' fighting before it stopped being playful – what does this mean, Diva?
– I don't know, I think I'll just… let it be. Nothing has changed and it doesn't mean that we're together but we can hang out while we're in the same city…
– You mean make out. – Santana corrected her.
– Santana, stop it, she'll hang up… – Kurt chided on her, and Rachel chuckled.
– She won't, listen to her, oh so giggly! She's in a good humor now that she's doing you big bro.
Kurt put his hands on his ears and squeezed his eyes shut.
– Mental images! Mental images!
– I'm not. Doing. Him!
– but, seriously talking-
– You think you can do that? – Rachel interrupted Kurt's question.
– Funny. Really. Do you think you're gonna sleep together while you're staying there?
– I don't know, I told you, we're just letting everything be, I don't know how far that may take us…
– Well you better not let it be that much and wrap up Finny Jr., we don't want a mini Finchel yet. Can you imagine it, Hummel? It would be loud as hell!
Kurt just ran his hand through his face hopelessly. He didn't know if it would be loud as hell or not, but he could sense a pretty loud hell approaching right now…
– Santana you don't joke with that stuff!
Right there, Kurt thought.
– Am I wrong?
Rachel rolled her eyes, though her friends wouldn't see her.
– You are not… – she answered, with a tired, low voice.
Santana faked a gasp.
– Did you hear that, Hummel? Bring me a calendar so I can remember today as the day when Rachel Berry told me I was right! – Santana said, sarcastically.
– You won't get it anymore if you keep acting like this, Santana! – Rachel yelled from the other side of the line.
Kurt felt he had to intervene.
– Girls, girls, STOP IT! Put. The claws. Down. I don't want to listen to you two fighting anymore, you're provoking me chronic migraines. Will you stop?
Though they couldn't see each other, both of the girls were crossing her arms, displaying an angry mug and slightly turning their backs to their phones. No one replied, so Kurt asked again, in a higher tone.
– Rachel, Santana, will you stop fighting?
Nothing.
– I. Don't. Hear. You. – Kurt said, annoyed and threatening.
– I'll stop if she stops – Rachel muttered.
Kurt rubbed his temples, trying to calm himself down.
– Me? See, I was going to say I'd stop, but now Little Miss Sunshine is playing hard to get, as usual. She almost makes me feel sad for that Yeti step-brother of yours…
– Hey don't get Finn into-
– For God's sake, girls! Can't you just act according to your age? This feels like that junior year Glee club drama! This is your last chance to apologize if you still want me to talk to you.
He wondered once again why he had to live with the most stubborn people in the world. What had he done to deserve such a Calvary?
Rachel sighed out of pride, but intending to release some of Kurt's stress, she gave up.
– I'm sorry, I won't be arguing anymore…
– Yeah, whatever. What Berry said.
– Thank God. Now, Rachel, Santana has a point. Just please, don't forget about protection.
– I won't, trust me… But still, I don't think we'll get there, guys, and I have to get back to New York in a couple of days anyways.
– When do you come back, girl? – Santana asked.
– Well since it's Thursday today, I thought I'd spend the weekend here and head back home on Sunday night, so I can be back at school on Monday.
– And what's going to happen with you and Finn? – Kurt asked, a little concern in his voice.
– Nothing… I mean, after I head back, everything's going back to normal, right like it was before.
– Even your denial? – Santana asked, incredulous.
– I told you guys, it's not about being in denial or not, it's about circumstances. It doesn't matter what I may or may not feel, Finn and I are in the same place we were when we graduated!
– Engaged!?
– Funny. You know what I'm talking about, Kurt.
– Yes, I know. I'm sorry, I couldn't help it-
– The point here is that you keep avoiding the fucking question, Berry. Do you still have feelings for Finn or not?
Everyone went silent for a few seconds. Until Santana broke the silence.
– Rachel, look, I'm sorry to announce you the not-so-new news, but you still love his pasty ass. You keep avoiding it, not admitting it but not denying it either. And when you're faced with the question directly, you don't know what to say. And that's a lot considering you don't know how to swim because you couldn't be able to spend that much time with your mouth shut while being underwater.
Kurt sighed.
– I never thought I'd say this two times in the same day, diva, but Miss Lopez here is right. I believe that you have feelings for him too. And whenever we try to talk about it with you, you pull the "different locations" card. Living in different cities cannot make feelings disappear, sweetie.
And now, Rachel sighed.
– But it's a good excuse to try and forget about him.
– Did it work so far, Rach? Let's see. Exhibit A: The Grease school musical. We went all the way to Ohio to see our ex's school musical!
– It did not end well though…
– That's because he found you crying and you made yourself sure to tell him it was not about him.
– But it wasn't about him!
– Rachel, come on. I may have not realized then, but later I saw that you left the auditorium so upset because of the song that was being performed. I know You're the one that I want was the first song you sang together, the first time you heard each other sing, and that brought up feelings in you. I was there the first time and you practically undressed him… And not the "with the eyes" kind of undressing…
– What the hell are you talking about, Hummel? – Santana asked, confused.
– Oh! You were not there yet, Santana. That song was the first one we rehearsed with Finn in the club. He and Rachel were obviously the leads, and when she heard him sing, you should have seen her, she was like, "Run Joey, run" kind of crazy-
– Hey, I wasn't that-
– Yes, you were. I really don't know how he didn't quit the club after that. Well, yes, blackmail, but still. Aaaaanyway – he said, going back to his last argument—Exhibit B (and please save the comments until after I finish my exposition): Thanksgiving. You avoided Ohio because you felt like "you moved backwards instead of forward" when we had all promised we'd meet there for Thanksgiving.
– Well if you two would have gone it would have been another drama, just like Grease, so I think Berry chose wisely.
– See?
– Santana, you're not helping. Plus, I'm just stating facts, not opinions. And I believe I told you to save the comments, Berry. I know it's hard for you, but you can do it. – he took a deep breath – Exhibit C: Winter showcase. Who did you call first to let them know you won? – Kurt asked, while smirking to Santana.
Rachel didn't answer.
– You can speak now, Rachel. – Santana said, losing her patience.
– He had lost Sectionals. I had to call.
– Correct me if I am wrong, but I think I recall you finding out about Sectionals and asking me if you should call and concluding yourself that it would be better not to, right? – he paused for a couple of seconds and talked again when he heard no response on Rachel's side – Right. Now, Santana, we have arrived to exhibit D, which is… – he made a 'drumroll' with his fingers on the table and then pointed to Santana, who completed his sentence.
– Mr. Schue's freakishly annoying and pink non wedding on Valentine's Day. Quinn said it then and I'll say it now, Valentine's Day wedding was asking for disaster. However, someone managed to have some fun, right Berry?
– Yes, Kurt hooked up with Blaine, even Mrs. Pillsbury must have found out about that.
– Don't play fool, Rachel Barbra. We all know we're not talking about me right now. – Kurt replied, drawing the attention back to Rachel.
– You may deny yourself to him all you want, diva, but we all were there that night. You guys eye-fucked so revoltingly hard on that stage that even saint Marley left the place deflowered. You could breathe the sexual tension.
– Exactly. Wait, what? – Kurt added, horrified.
– You're not one to talk, lady, but we'll get back to you later. Keeping on with Berry here, our goody-two-shoes girl got it on unprotected and left before dawn. Smooth.
Lacking of self defense words, Rachel asked:
– What is your point here?
– Oh God, Berry, this is harder than when Britts asked me to teach her Spanish! You. Still. Love. Him. That's our point! Now repeat after me: "I'm still in love with Big Lurch Hudson".
– I won't be repeating-
– Repeat after me, dije (2)!
– Don't call him that way, Santana.
– Oh, how cute, you're defending him – Santana replied with a fake sugary voice – "I'm still in love with Finn". Dilo. (3)
Rachel sighed.
– Um… I'm still… Imstillinlovewithfinn. There. Happy now?
– Not really, told ya, I want you to get some so you can lose the stick that's up your ass but I guess you can't always get what you want.
– Well I am, I've been waiting for a long time for you to admit that you still had feelings for Finn, Rachel.
– Okay, what do you want me to do know? I have three days left here, and then I'm gone again.
– Enjoy them, for Barbra's sake, Rachel! – Kurt answered, raising his voice – Listen to what Finn said, enjoy the time you spend with him while you're still there. We'll deal with you when you come back, don't worry.
– Speak for yourself, Hummel. Berry is gonna be all mopy and in a constant PMS mood when she gets back. I don't wanna deal with that. – Santana snapped while inspecting her nails.
Everyone went silent for a second and although she would never admit it, Rachel felt a little disappointed after her friend's statement.
Santana sighed before speaking again.
– Berry, I was kidding. I'll remind you how dumb he is so you don't miss him that much, okay?
– Wow, thanks Tanna, that was so sweet of you! – Rachel answered, ironically.
– Yeah, I know, and that's all you'll get.
– I feel so honored.
They all laughed together at Santana's "generosity" before Rachel heard her Dad call her from downstairs, saying that they'd be heading to the restaurant in about an hour.
– Okay guys, I'm sorry but I need to go. My dads want to take me out for dinner because they feel guilty they haven't been around that much these days…
– Tell them not to worry, diva, if they leave long enough you may be able to have some fun with one tall awkward guy I know… – Kurt replied, playfully.
– Geez! You guys are imposible! – she said with a giggle in her voice – I'm gonna go now, okay? Love you!
She waited until her friends said their goodbyes before hanging up. Then she went to her bathroom and opened the tap before turning on the music player in her phone. She set it in random mode and placed it on the counter.
When she was in the shower, she started humming the song that was playing…
The sun is filling up the room, and I can hear you dreaming.
Do you feel the way I do? Right now.
I wish we would just give up, 'cause the best part is falling.
Call it anything but love.
And I will make sure to keep my distance.
Say I love you when you're not listening.
And how long can we keep this up, up, up?
Please don't stand so close to me; I'm having trouble breathing.
I'm afraid of what you'll see right now.
I give you everything I am, all my broken heartbeats, until I know you'll understand.
And I will make sure to keep my distance.
Say I love you when you're not listening.
And how long can we keep this up, up, up?
And I keep waiting for you to take me.
You keep waiting to save what we have.
So I'll make sure to keep my distance.
Say I love you when you're not listening.
And how long can we keep this up, up, up?
Make sure to keep my distance!
Say I love you when you're not listening.
How long 'till we call this love, love, love?
When she heard the song, the lyrics made her open her eyes wide. She hadn't listened to the song in a while, and definitely hadn't understood what the lyrics meant until she was actually going through the same situation.
Although the song had ended, the last verse kept echoing in her mind…
"How long 'till we call this love, love, love?"
However, the song that was now playing took her off her musings.
…We've got tonite,
Who needs tomorrow?
We've got tonite, babe,
Why don't you stay?...
Again, the lyrics took her by surprise. It was like her player was all team Finn. But that song was like a wakeup call, all she needed to make up her mind for once and all. She knew she shouldn't worry about tomorrow anymore. One day at a time. For once in her life, she didn't care of the consequences. She'd take care of that when she was back in New York. And she knew her friends would stand by her.
But this song's message was not only about the lyrics themselves. This song was theirs. She had been strong that night, you know? Treating him like a good old friend, and not surrendering to his movie-perfect speech or his handsome self in a tux. Or by his breath on her lips when he leaned closer to try and kiss her. But the song… he always got to her by a song, no matter how stubborn or determined on her goals she might be.
Her heart raced when she thought about the aftermath of that song. Even with all the trouble she got from it, that must have been one of the best nights in her life. The time they had spent apart meant nothing when they were together again that night. They didn't even need to speak to know what the other wanted, they could read each other's eyes perfectly. It had been so perfect she wasn't even able to sleep with Brody when she went back to New York. She didn't want to miss the feeling of Finn's arms around her, his lips on her neck, his tender caresses, the way he…
– Rachel, honey, are you finishing? We're leaving in twenty minutes, else we'll lose our reservation!
Her dad's voice (and the now cold water from the shower) took her back to present. She sighed before she answered.
– I'm coming daddy, don't worry!
She closed the tap and dried her body quickly. She got dressed and when she went back to the bathroom to blow-dry her hair, she saw her phone's screen had lit up with a text.
The grin she displayed when she saw the sender was brighter than New York City in New Year's Eve.
"Wanna hang out after dinner tonight?"
She took a deep breath when she realized how happy a simple text made her.
Coming back is going to be hard…
But she shook off the negative thoughts and answered.
"Sure, I'll text you when I come back home, okay?"
It hadn't been even a minute since her text was sent when her cell phone lit up again.
"Can't wait. Have fun. See you later ;) "
She checked her makeup and hair and changed her clothes (one, two, three times) before leaving.
Santana's dictionary:
1) Es la parte divertida : It's the funny part.
2) Dije : I said.
3) Dilo! : Say it!
What do you think that'll happen after dinner? *wiggles eyebrows* Nothing's written yet so I'm open to suggestions!
Thanks for reading! Reviews are encouraged :)