Chapter 37 – Best Minor Character and Best Villain
While the "Kryptonite" song was playing, Tightlips whispered into the Queen's ear.
"Sharper needs you to present the next award, alongside with Scumdog and RC Williams! The two are waiting for you at the elevator."
The Queen replied, taking her Homecoming Crown "Tell him that I will be on my way backstage. I'm heading down, Tightlips and watch my handbag!"
"Your will be done, Your Majesty!" Tightlips replied, bowing to Bonnie before she went down the elevator.
RC Williams, in his early 30s and from Georgia (the state, not the country), was tapping his left foot while Scumdog, in his late 40s and of Swedish origin, is also waiting.
"The song's going to be over soon and we have to get her to the stage quickly!" RC said.
Scumdog agreed, "Sharper is pretty strict on time."
The elevator doors began to open.
Bonnie came down from the elevator, adjusting her undone overalls so that she would not suffer a Ron-like wardrobe malfunction.
"Hey you two." the brunette smiled at her long-time fans. "Time for us to present an award!" She took out a sheet of paper from the pocket of her overalls. "I even prepared my speech."
"We're ready, Bonnie!" RC said with confidence to his on-off girlfriend.
"I'm totes prepared for this!" the Queen smirked, putting on the crown.
And also totes prepared to humiliate K once and for all!
Once the song ended, the lights came back on from the commercial break.
"And we're back!" Sharper said to Sarah as they both came on the podium.
"Our next award will be presented by Her Majesty herself!" Sharper proclaimed. He had been practicing for this part more than the other parts because it involved the Queen.
Sarah sighed smiling, "Here we go again, Sharper!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Queen, Miss Bonnie Rockwaller! Also part of the delegation is RC Williams and Scumdog47."
Bonnie came onto the stage, smiling and waving confidently to the crowd. The few boos that were emitted from Kim, Ron, and the Possible family, were quickly drowned out by the overwhelming cheers and applause the Queen was drawing. Scumdog was holding the envelope containing the Best Minor Character award and the Golden Rufus.
"Thank you all for your wonderful presence at my glorious opera house for tonight's ceremonies!" the Queen began as the audience receded their applause. "If it weren't for me, it would've been held in the alley behind the bathrooms at the Cow and Chow! I just love this since all the attention is on me. Once the ceremonies come to a conclusion, stop by Mt. Rockwaller for the carving process of my true and beautiful face...as long as the weather doesn't ruin it for me. Oh, and my wonderful products. Please stop by your nearest Club Banana or Country CB to shop for my beauty prod..."
But Kim shouted from the audience, interrupting the Queen's speech "Stop your shameless plugs, B! Get to the awards! We've had enough delays!"
"Yeah, down in front, Bon-Bon!" Ron yelled as well.
Bonnie growled at the disruption that her longtime rival was causing. The rivalry and animosity was not even hidden at all between the two. But they were on a very tight schedule. "Whatever, wannabe! RC, the microphone, please."
RC grabbed the microphone and said, "Minor characters in Kim Possible may not have as much screen time as Team Possible, Drakken or Shego. But they do play an extremely important role in the lives of the main characters! These six finalists stand out."
He handed the envelope to the Queen so that she could read the finalists. She squealed for joy of who was the first finalist listed.
"Oh my gosh! I'm listed first! Yay me!" It's me from Levi2000's story from "Past and Present by Zaratan Volume 2.
(from Chapter 13)
Then to Hana with some heat in her voice, "And don't think for a moment that I'm still not mad as Hell at Kim or that I'm not jealous of her since I couldn't help him forget her." Bonnie's eyes now aflame and centered on the redhead. "But none of that is important right now. Your brother is what's important, and I won't let my own feelings blind me to what needs to happen…and in what order." Bonnie set her jaw, "If Kim can convince Ron that Michelle didn't understand what they were talking about, then he'll listen to her.", she explained. Looking to Hana, "If you try to convince him, then he'll think it's just because you are family and won't believe you.", she pointed out to the now seething former sister-in-law.
Frustrated at the logic she couldn't refute, "Alright!", cried Hana. Jabbing at Kim, "She goes first and then me or Michelle." Her eyes grim, "But I'll be ready in case she screws up or he doesn't give her a chance. Just as backup.", to which Bonnie nodded in acceptance.
As Bonnie and Kim turned away to face the tree house, Kim said in a low voice, "Bonnie. Thank you for...", when Bonnie's hand came up quickly.
Looking her dead in the eyes, "Don't get me wrong Kim.", Bonnie said quietly. "Hana was right…Intentional or accidental,", her hand sharply cut across her body in front of her, "I'm still pissed at you.", her face hardening. "Not so much for what you did, but more for what you didn't do." She let that sink in before continuing, "Not talking to him and fixing things when you had a better chance of doing so.", she said to a slightly shrinking redhead. Rising up to her full height, "I still think you are the only person that can help him right now…Our best chance.", she glared, "And that irks me too.", Bonnie crossed her arms.
Once she calmed down, the Queen proceeded to read the other five finalists. "The next finalist is Joss Possible from Finding Yourself by RufusPrime54."
(from Chapter 2)
Joss's eyes widened as Kim spun her tale and her cheeks even reddened at the mention of Ron. Joss moved slowly towards Kim, and at the last second, wrapped her in a giant hug.
"Oh my god," Joss said. "I can't believe that you are alive."
Kim smiled as she hugged Joss tight. Joss pulled away and looked at Kim.
"How did you get to look like this? Did you fight in New York? Are you an Avenger now?" Joss asked all at once and Kim laughed.
"Let's just sit and take it slow," Kim said and led Joss over to some hay bales.
After answering Joss's many questions, Kim started to get down to business.
"Joss," Kim said. "I'm afraid that this trip is a semi-business one."
"Okay," Joss said. "What's the business?"
"You know that Loki guy?" Kim asked and Joss nodded. "Well he did something to Ron that wiped his mind."
"Ron doesn't know who he is anymore?" Joss asked, stunned.
"No," Kim said. "But he might find out in time. Which is why I came here. Let me ask, do you still have a crush on Ron?"
Joss looked down and her cheeks reddened.
"Joss," Kim asked, trying to get her to talk.
""I'm sorry," Joss said. "I know that you and Ron are in a relationship and that I should have moved on, but I never did."
"That's fine," Kim said. "I need you to love him."
Joss looked up and her eyes widened. "You need me to do what?"
"Love him," Kim said. "Be his wife. Ron is now Clint Barton and Barton has a wife and two kids. I need someone I trust to help take care of Ron. My job doesn't end because Ron is out of commission."
"Kim," Joss said. "That is a lot you are asking me."
Joss Possible again from Being More than a Simulacrum by Chris the Cynic. Seriously, why is K's hick cousin in this...
(from Chapter 10)
After a little more walking Joss had led them to her training ground. Part obstacle course, part ropes course, it was all hand made. She'd spent what felt like forever measuring, cutting, moving, hammering, tying, and generally assembling the place. She was very proud of it.
"You did this on your own?" Leela Place asked.
"Yup," Joss said. She was proud of what she'd done.
"This is incredible; it's an action hero's playground."
"The hope is that it'll be a hero's trainin' ground," Joss said. "Practice enough here and I'll be ready to actually be a hero in the real world."
Leela Place nodded. "Smart. And it's more preparation than Kim ever did."
Joss watched as Leela Place looked around the place in awe. Joss herself was basking in the approval, but she thought of something they could do. "Do you want to race?"
"See which comes out on top," Leela Place said, "longer legs," she pointed to herself, "or home field advantage?" she pointed to Joss. "Absolutely."
Joss indicated a point that was high up, and they both stood together so they'd have an even start.
"Ok, grapples out," Joss said. Then stopped when she noticed Leela Place's grapple. Instead of being shaped like a gun, or a hairdryer, it was cylindrical with a bit of a curve on one end. "I've never seen one like that before," Joss said.
"It's Wade's design. He originally abandoned it when Kim switched to the wrist Kimmunicator, but he returned to it, finished it, and gave it to me."
"Cool," Joss said.
Yori from Looking Through Your Eyes by Dream Wreaver
(from Chapter 1)
Yori," he called, interrupting their mock battle. Yori and Hirotaka halted their movements, dropping their stances and becoming as relaxed as a ninja ever did. Yori glanced over at Sensei before bowing to her opponent and excusing herself.
Hurriedly she walked over to him and bowed, "Sensei, you wished to speak to me?"
"Yes my child," he replied, "Come with me, there is an urgent matter we need to discuss."
He led the child back to his private meditation room, the one place in the entire dojo besides his own chambers they could speak without being disturbed.
"Sensei," Yori began, "Is there something the matter?"
"A great deal child," Sensei answered, "I have sensed a great disturbance in the balance of the world. An old evil is attempting to be revived."
Yori held back a gasp, "You do not mean-" she began.
"I do," Sensei replied, "Someone has taken Monkey Fist from the temple of the Yono, and I fear he is about to be liberated from the path he willingly chose. This cannot come to be, or else the world will suffer from the Yono's wrath."
"Yes Sensei, I understand," Yori bowed.
"You must travel to America and find Kim Possible and Stoppable-san. You will need their assistance to have Monkey Fist returned here. Remember child, Monkey Fist must not be revived, or Yamanouchi and the rest of the world will wither in the path of the Yono's search."
Yori bowed once more, "It will be my honor she replied."
"Very good. Now leave at once, time is of the essence."
"Yes Sensei," Yori bowed a final time before disappearing.
Nana and Slim Possible from Graudation in Early MAYhem by Jimmy1201. Seriously what is with these stupid Possibles!
(from Chapter 1)
"Surprise!", called out an elderly woman.
"Nana!" Kim got up and hugged her grandmother.
"I wouldn't miss this for the world.", Nana said, standing back from the hug to get a better look at her granddaughter, "Living so far away, I miss you."
"I miss you too Nana," replied Kim, "It's awful to be so far away from someone you love."
"Slim, check out these acceptance letters.", bragged James, handing Slim a stack of envelopes as the two walked in the room.
"University of Oxford, University of Edinburgh, Hong Kong University, Tsinghua University in Bejing", read Slim as he flipped through a few of the envelopes, "Hoo dang, them's far. You fixin to make visits to all of these?"
"Well, some of them, I have to pare down the list, Uncle Slim."
"Oh, Kimmie cub", said James, "Ronald dropped an envelope with your passport off for you, he had to run, his parents are taking him and Hana out to an early dinner and he had to get ready. I gave it to your mom, she will need it to make plane reservations for your college trips. He said he would try to join us for dinner after graduation. I swear that boy hangs around here just for the food."
"Dad!"
And finally, Steve Barkin, Adrenna Lynn, and Martin Smarty from What's the Alma Mater by MrDrP.
(chapter 7)
"Mistakes happen, Stoppable. Get over it. Now get up there and start counting," Steve Barkin snapped as he hooked a thumb at the imposing ziggurat of Vienna sausage cases.
"Mistakes happen? Get over it?" an incredulous Ron parroted. "Hello! This is my future we're talking about."
"Your future?" Barkin snorted. "It's not as if there's much to talk about—I told you: it's downhill from high school. Now stop your yapping and start your climbing."
"Nuh uh," said Ron as he stood his ground. "It's not like you can order me around anymore. I've got a diploma."
"True, but I've got seniority. Now move out."
"Actually, seniority is irrelevant in this situation."
Surprised by the unexpected observation, Ron and Barkin turned to see none other than Martin Smarty standing in the doorway. Barkin snapped to attention while Ron looked confused. "Sir?"
Smarty, smiling, extended his hand to Ron. "Congratulations, Ronald."
"On what?"
"Your promotion."
Barkin twitched.
"You have a problem with that, mister?" Smarty asked with a coolness that Ron hoped never to experience.
"No sir!" a ramrod-straight Barkin replied.
"Good," Smarty said before he returned his attention to Ron. "Son, you've been a great employee. Conscientious, industrious, creative—cohabiting the cats and turtles was brilliant; that's the kind of outside-of-the-box thinking I like in an Assistant Manager."
"Assistant Manager?" Ron asked. "Of what? The pet department?"
Smarty chuckled. "You've got a great sense of humor, too. You're going to be assistant manager of the whole Middleton Smarty Mart!"
"For real?" a disbelieving Ron asked.
"For real!" a clearly proud Martin Smarty answered. And while the CEO anticipated his protégé's reaction—surprise mixed with pleasure—he was not prepared for Steve Barkin's, which was to faint …
The Queen tore out the envelope and announced the winner clearly to all. "And the Golden Rufus for Best KP Minor Character goes to...I don't believe it...Kim's hick cousin, Joss Possible...
Both RufusPrime and Cynic both stood up, anticipating which Joss won. "...from Finding Yourself by RufusPrime54! Cynic went, "Drat...almost had it in the bag..."
RufusPrime stood up from his seat and got onto the stage. He accepted the award from the Queen and gave out his acceptance speech.
"Thank you so much for this award! First off, I'd like to thank everyone that voted for me, especially the people on the various forums that I am a part of, I know they had a big part in voting as well as encouraging my writing when I got a bit of writers' block!
This is the sequel to the first book in my series and when I started these set of books in high school, I never expected to win any awards from them. I was just writing to pass the time really, and it just developed from there.
To talk a little about Joss in this story, if you don't know this story was a crossover between the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Kim Possible. Ron became Hawkeye in this, and when Loki wiped his mind in the first Avengers movie, he lost his identity. So, I think someone that Kim trusted with Ron, could fill the role as Laura Barton, and had a preexisting interest in Ron. My mind immediately went to Joss and I think the sacrifice she made in leaving her life behind, and care that she had for Ron really propelled her to the award.
Thank you all again for this great honor!
"Thank you, Your Majesty, for the presentation of that award!" Sharper complimented his Queen.
Turning back to the audience, he continued, "The next award we'll present will be for best KP Villain in a fanfic. And what better way to present the award other than a current villain and a few Drakken/Shego shippers. Professor Henrich von Dementor, come to the stage with fellow Drakken fans Dinogaby, Wolfandlionpower or Wolfy for short and Legionnaire24601, alongside with longtime Shego fan Tennente.
Dementor then came onto the stage, followed by Gaby, Wolfie and Legonniare. The audience clapped for them before a Scandinavian Olympian came open through the doors.
"Hello, ja! Where can I find the training grounds?" the Olymian asked.
"Yay! My Scandinavian Olympian is here!" Legionnaire shouted.
"Where did the hell he come from? How did he get through Sharpie's security plan!" Ten asked.
Wolfie replied, "How am I supposed to know!"
The Queen replied from her box! "The gym is just down the road, about a mile to your left."
"Ja, thank you!" the Olympian replied before closing the doors.
"That was the most random thing in the history of randomness" Gaby said.
"The KP fandom has been built on randomness for 15 years, Gaby!" Ten replied, "Now let's get up there and present the damn award."
Dementor stood on the podium and spoke through the microphone. Ten held the envelope that contained the best villain while Legionnaire held the Golden Rufus.
"It's a real honor to mention ze nominees for ze best villain in a story! If only someone can vote for me INSTEAD OF DRAKKEN SO THAT I CAN WIN!" He shouted the last three words so loud that it created feedback in the microphone. This sound pierced everyone's ears, including Sharper's, whom cannot withstand such noises.
"Ja, that vas my fault!" Dementor apologized, "Now..."
And then Wolfie sneezed.
"Gesundheit, Volfy!" Dementor grinned politely. Turning back to the audience, now uncovering their ears, he declaried, "Ze four finalists are..."
L – Kidnapped by JustSaiyan123
(from Chapter 6)
Be patient, L. I'm sure you want to end this quickly, but we've got to wait for Kim Possible to come to us." Drakken set down the mug where the hot chocolate previously had been. As he did, a marvelous plan came into his mind. "Besides," he continued. "I've got the perfect plan." The woman crossed her arms over her chest and her expression slightly altered from blank to a glower.
"Which is?" L pried. The mad scientist formed a smirk and chuckled.
"Good things come to those who wait," he merely responded. The assassin replied with an exhausted sigh.
"I am not a very patient person, but I suppose I can wait," she began. Then she formed a wicked smile. "After all, in the end I always get what I want."
Drakken didn't know what she meant by that last part, but chose to disregard it. All he needed to know was that his plans will go through without intervention from Kim Possible, especially with L stopping her once and for all.
"Now, if you don't mind, I would like for you to do me a favor," the scientist continued. The assassin rose a brow in curiosity.
"Depends on what I'll be doing," she answered.
"Unfortunately for you, it doesn't involve any killing." A sigh of disappointment left L's mouth. Of course, still no assassination. She began to regret agreeing to this job, it was growing incredibly arid.
"What is it then?" L inquired bitterly.
"It seems that our.. funds are very low. To put it simply, I'll need you and Shego to empty out a bank."
"So a bank robbery?"
"Precisely."
L looked away and pondered for a moment. It seemed like she was doing anything other than the task she was supposed to be doing. She had no idea what went through Drakken's head. Why couldn't she just get rid of the heroine to begin with? It would make his evil scheme much more easier to accomplish. This raised other questions. Ones she sought to find the answer.
"Before I respond, answer me this. Why can't I get rid of Kim Possible now? Wouldn't it be easier to just eliminate the issue as soon as it erupts? And it seems this-issue has erupted numerous times before. Your plans will go through fluently if you get rid of the source." Drakken tried to suppress a chuckle before responding.
"I want her to see my plan succeed! Then she'll finally know she isn't all that! And this will surely show her her place."
Drakken from Drakken's Big Score by Eddy13
(from Chapter 2)
"That was an excellent test!" Drakken was crooning as he and Shego entered their lair, dropping the sack full of stolen electronics on a table. "The mirage synthesizer worked perfectly! And best of all, since I was able to make a tiny alteration to include a self destruct mechanism, there's no trace for Kim Possible to figure out how it worked!"
"About time you used that feature the smart way" Shego commented.
Still giddy, Drakken went over to the desk where the Secrets of Atlantis book he had found in Monkey Fist's manor was and picked it up into a hug. "And it's all thanks to this wonderful little gift that the forces of evil have granted me!"
"One thing I don't get. Of all the stuff in that book, why'd you pick that dingy little cube as the first thing to make?" Shego inquired.
"I wanted to start out small, Shego" Drakken explained. "To be sure that it was possible for Atlantean tech to be fashioned from modern day equipment". An excited look appearing on his face, he began leafing through the book to look at the numerous illustrations of Atlantis's inventions "And now that I have, this is just the beginning! I have complete access to any potential doomsday weapon in this book! The possibilities are infinite!"
"Yeah, well, don't get carried away, Dr. D" Shego advised. "I mean, even though you've got info on some pretty impressive tech there, it won't mean anything if you don't use it wisely".
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, Shego" Drakken said confidently as he held up the book in his hands, which appeared to be glowing eerily "Rest assured, with the power of Atlantis at my disposal, this time the world will finally be mine!"
Then, much to Shego's surprise, Drakken let out the most fiendish, diabolical, and downright terrifying cackle she ever heard from him.
Tim Morrell und Troy Bell from What's ze Alma Mater by MrDrP
"You're sure this will work?" Troy asked.
"As sure as I am that half the campus is already talking about how Possible took you down in the Student Union," Tim answered.
Troy twitched and Tim knew he'd scored a direct hit.
"So one zap …"
"And Kim Possible's career as a cheerleader, not to mention teen hero, is over. She'll be so useless that even that dork boyfriend of hers will drop her like a hot potato."
"Sounds good," Troy said with a malicious grin, thinking of how a broken Kim would be grateful for any attention once she'd fallen. "I think I know how we can pull this off."
"Talk to me," Tim said, not caring that he might be about to ruin a fellow student's life. After all, sometimes you needed to break some eggs to make an omelet …
"Wait...wasn't that the same damn video clip used in the Best KP Original Character nominations?" Ten wondered.
"Moving on..." Dementor interrupted Ten, "...ze fourth und final finalist iz Fukushima from Graduated in Early MAYhem by Jimmy1201"
(from Ch. 18)
"Weak minded fools! I'm surrounded by imbeciles!" Fukushima restrained himself from breaking his laptop into pieces. "Team One never thought to check whether the Chosen Ones were actually in the tent before attacking. But you at least cleaned those mistakes for human beings up, Hisato. Is the bomb at the abomination nest ready? This could be our best chance to ensure the MMP will be dissipated and die along with the bodies of the Chosen Ones."
The man on the comms window looked tense. "I mixed everything exactly as your instructions specified! I swear!"
"Stay in the area and out of sight. Once you have spotted the chosen ones arriving, leave. That bomb should basically liquefy anyone within a quarter kilometer. We can assume that close will be good enough, but we must know that the correct targets were eliminated." Fukushima growled. Not for the first time did Fukushima wish that he had gained enlightenment about the true nature of the MMP before he threw away his honor for a foolish quest for personal gain. He would gladly trade his life for a week of having Team Cobra at his side for this quest.
"I am coming to personally make sure this is finished. Rent a car and meet me at Middleton Regional Airport. I will message details to you later."
"Master, are you sure that it is safe for you to travel to America?"
"Yes, in fact, I have to move now, the buffoons in England tried to curry favor by eliminating Yamanouchi agents instead of just observing them. They failed and then in a fit of supreme stupidity, sent me a message reporting their absolute failure. I suspect that Yamanouchi has traced that message and will be here within hours."
Without further words, Fukushima closed the laptop. Taking the battery out of his phone and smashing the circuit board, he tossed half the fragments in the trash. He would toss the rest in a street trash can.
"Und ze avard for Best Villain goes to..." Dementor sighed, as he was not chosen again for the twelfth year in a row. He opened the envelope to announce the winner: DRAKKEN from Drakken's Big Score by Eddy13.
Eddy stood up from his seat and gave a victorious high-five to his fellow friends before heading up to the stage.
Shocked and ecstatic, Eddy13 raced up to the podium, shaking his hand over his head in excitement. After accepting his statue from Dementor, he stepped up to the mic an*d cleared his throat.
"Thank you, everybody" he said to the applauding audience "I am greatly honored to once again be a winner in the Fannies, even moreso that I won Best Villain. I believe this is a category that everyone should strive for. After all, a story's greatness is truly measured by its villain" After receiving another round of applause, he continued "'Drakken's Big Score' was a unique work for me. After the series was renewed for a fourth season, I was hoping it would build up to Drakken concocting a scheme even greater than his Diablo plan. Unfortunately, it seemed that 'So the Drama' was when he peaked; everything he did since then didn't measure up to that level, and while he was successfully in 'Graduation' by…"
"Don't say it!" a familiar voice cried out.
"You-Know-What" Eddy13 said uneasily "The writers said that Drakken would then become annoying rather than evil. Still, I felt that Drakken deserved a chance to one up his greatest achievement, so I decided to give it to him".
"Yeah, at our expense!" a certain redhead at the middle row shouted.
"Sorry, Kim" Eddy13 said halfheartedly "Anyway, for this story, I drew inspiration from Atlantis: The Lost Empire and Gravity Falls with regards to Drakken's new reading material, while basing the title on one involving a character that shares Drakken's voice actor. I think you all know which one" he winked knowingly "To those of you wondering, 'Drakken's Big Score' will continue in the future. I'm currently stuck where to go for now, but I will return to it one day. Of course, for story purposes, I have to ask Kim and Ron to pretend they didn't hear parts of my speech" After receiving an O.K sign from Ron and a reluctant nod from Kim, Eddy13 turned to the audience one last time "Once again, I thank you all for voting for me and I hope to be up here again in the future".
And with that, Eddy accepted the award and stepped down from the podium. Sharper then returned to the podium.
"So that has been two more awards in the annual books of the Kimmunity. Congrats to both RufusPrime and Eddy for winning in their respective categories!" Sharper said through the microphone. "We'll take another word from our sponsor, Smarty-Mart: Where smart shoppers shop smart! Next up will be the awards for Best Songfic and Best AU. So stay tuned."
The lights then dimmed to the next commercial break while LeeAnn Rimes' "I Need You" played.